SamanthaEvans

I'm doomed, too! It's an easel. There's a drawing board on it with a pad of paper. On the paper is a pretty good drawing of an eagle in flight (if I do say so myself), but, realistic as it may be, it's not actually real. I suspect that zombies know the difference between real eagles and artists' drawings of eagles....

From the [URL="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/meet-the-dominatrix/article2169183/"]Globe and Mail, September 16, 2011[/URL] by Michael Posner I had expected Terri-Jean Bedford â?? self-billed as â??Canada's most famous dominatrixâ? â?? to be properly decked out. Chains, perhaps. A thick leather whip or riding crop. Thigh-high boots, at a minimum. Instead, impeccably groomed and conservatively attired, the 51-year-old brunette leading the constitutional challenge to the nation's prostitution laws is attempting to play a new, much less kinky role: bestselling author. Indeed, she would not look out of place in any high-rise corporate boardroom. Which, as it happens, is precisely where we meet â?? in her lawyer's office in downtown Toronto. The only hint of her former life as Madame de Sade, proprietress of the 10-room bondage bungalow on a quiet residential street in Thornhill, Ont., is the vise-like grip of her handshake â?? firm enough to suggest that she is accustomed to commanding submission. And, when I confess to having had less than a day to peruse her new, self-published memoir, Dominatrix on Trial: Bedford vs. Canada, she draws a practised breath. â??Ooh,â? she coos, issuing me a mimed, punitive wrist slap. â??Speed-read.â? Then she laughs, lustily. The chronicle of a battle-scarred survivor, her book â?? more a tell-some than a tell-all, the surnames of her clients and backers discreetly undisclosed â?? is a fusion of combustible elements. One part is painful autobiography, the story of a sexually precocious young woman too soon immersed in the perilous world of prostitution and drugs. Another part provides a tour of the subterranean culture of sadomasochism, with descriptions of the elaborate inventory needed to run a respectable bondage domain and the creative role-playing scenarios needed to satisfy the clientele. In her suburban funhouse, clients were routinely masked and beaten, prodded and probed, straitjacketed and bound. No intercourse, Ms. Bedford insists, ever ensued: the foundation of her refutation of the bawdy-house charges. They did want to play, however, acting out fantasy scenes that involved everything from â??teacher-studentâ? and â??French maidâ? to panty-stealing. But the bulk of the memoir recounts Ms. Bedford's 25-year skirmish with the courts. The latter segment begins with her first arrest in September, 1994, on charges of maintaining a common bawdy house (the very phrase signals the musty Victorian antecedents of the law) and continues through to her current campaign to modernize the nation's prostitution laws. That decriminalization crusade was ostensibly won last year, when Madam Justice Susan Himel of the Ontario Superior Court issued a landmark ruling, finding three provisions in Canada's Criminal Code â?? prohibiting communication for the purposes of sex, running a bordello and living off the avails of prostitution â?? unconstitutional. Asked how she intended to celebrate the decision, Ms. Bedford raised her riding crop triumphantly and declared, â??I'm going to spank some ass.â? But the federal government promptly appealed and won a series of stays. The Ontario Court of Appeal heard the case in June and is still deliberating. Osgoode Hall law professor Alan Young, who argued the case before Judge Himel, says a decision may come this fall. Win or lose, he predicts that it will go to the Supreme Court of Canada. He says Ms. Bedford's story reflects the essence of their argument â?? that prostitutes would be safer in supervised brothels than they are on the streets. â??She was brutalized while working on the street, and only felt safe when she became a dominatrix in a secure house.â? Even if the case succeeds at the highest court, Mr. Young cautions, it will be up to Parliament to determine what approach Canada will take. In the meantime, Ms. Bedford â?? from her authorial throne chair â?? inveighs against the hypocrisy that still governs attitudes to the sex trade. â??If 50 prostitutes go missing on a pig farm,â? she says, alluding to the case of convicted serial killer Robert Pickton, â??who cares? But if a single police officer goes missing on the beat, all hell breaks loose. Those lives are just as valuable as his.â? The Himel judgment notwithstanding, Ms. Bedford harbours few illusions that the situation is likely to change any time soon. â??It's taken 100 years to get to where we are,â? she says. â??It will probably take another 100 years to get to where we need to be.â? Terri-Jean Bedford discovered the power of sex early. Her impoverished parents â?? a black father and white mother living in Collingwood, Ont. â?? put her up for adoption when she was 6. By the age of 8, she had already begun to experiment with sex â?? with both genders â?? including classmates, neighbours and her siblings, who were also adopted. Her adoptive mother, ostensibly a devout Christian, beat her repeatedly. Psychiatrists who treated her concluded that â??there was nothing wrong with me,â? she says. â??I was just too old for my age. Prematurely mature.â? The onset of puberty fuelled her promiscuity and she bounced from girls schools to group homes to the YMCA and, later, to prison and halfway houses. By 17, already addicted to amphetamines, she was living with an ex-con and turning tricks. By 20, she was also a single mother and, unable to provide, forced to let her five-month-old daughter be raised in a foster home. â??I tried begging, I tried stealing, but my spirit could not do it. I was trapped. Many women are trapped. They'd rather sell their bodies.â? Eventually beating her drug habit, Ms. Bedford says she has sampled most of the world's major religions, but found none of them satisfying. She fell back ultimately on some inner reservoir of strength. â??I'd like to say I'm a goddess in my own right,â? she jokes. â??I touched my higher power â?? me! You have to have faith in yourself. That's how it works.â? She went into the bondage business in the early nineties. Clients helped to underwrite the enterprise and, in recent years, her legal battles. These include a group known as The Dozen, to whom the book is dedicated, and a man identified only as Scott, who stands to earn whatever royalties the book or subsequent movie rights might generate. â??He was a mentor, loyal and undying,â? she says. â??I could never pay him back for his financial support and encouragement.â? Ms. Bedford says her body now bears the scars of her hardscrabble life. She has undergone three partial hysterectomies, and been diagnosed with hepatitis C, spinal stenosis and fibromyalgia. Medical marijuana â??smoothes out the edges,â? she says. Still, she adds, â??there are days when I can't get out of bed. The outer shell may look good, but the inside is always in pain.â? She lives on disability pensions, along with income earned from part-time bookkeeping. Meanwhile, awaiting the Ontario Court of Appeal's verdict, she is vowing, if need be, to refer the case to the Supreme Court. â??You don't want to see me angry,â? she says with another robust laugh. â??I'll take my riding crop to Parliament Hill and get that dead horse, Stephen Harper, moving.â?

Congratulations, friend. Your delight in chasing every ball, leaping up to nab the Frisbees in mid-air, and your willingness to take a nap, anytime, combined with the happy greetings you give everyone are inspired and inspiring. After 2500 posts, you deserve your very own

And then there's Nancy Wilson, of Heart. Best female guitar player, ever.

The greatest guitar guys are Eric Clapton and Bruce Cockburn, hands down. Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray were awesome, but Clapton and Cockburn have taken what they were doing much farther, I think.

WestJet is fantastic. When we moved from Toronto to Vancouver, Air Canada wasn't allowing pets in the baggage compartment of the airplane. We had two cats and an African Grey parrot. They wanted to ship them cargo, at completely different times, meaning that the animals would be somewhere alone at one end of the journey or the other, for five hours. And they wanted to charge $520, too. WestJet allows two crates of domestic animals per flight, reserved ahead of time. So, the cats went into one crate, the bird into the other, they were fussed over all the way from the terminal into the heated baggage section, and then, when we landed in Vancouver, they were off-loaded and carried into the special handling area, safe and sound. I paid $50 per crate for the service.

Well, I think that Cerb rocks in a major way! There's drama, there are arguments, a cat-fight breaks out occasionally. Some days one needs hip-waders just to get through the men's pissing contests. In other words: it's a lot like "real" life. I've been on the interwebs for eons. Seriously, I have. Back when my first computer was a box of parts and a manual that was missing most of the pages 'cuz no one had gotten around to writing them yet. Online communities started to spring up, attached to various electronic bulletin boards, and they were fascinating places to be. MUDDs, MUDXes and other virtual worlds came along. History was made as we figured out what we wanted to do and be online. I was at LambdaMOO when Mr. Bungle created his voodoo doll and committed the first rape in cyberspace; he was subsequently toaded. It was all very dramatic and pathetic, full of fantasy and banality. Like life can be, anywhere. So, here is a lot like other places, but it's also different. At least it is these days. Change is the only constant, after all. Even so, we've yet to see the equivalent of a drive-by shooting. Other boards have been shamefully infected with evil spirits that have tried to drive some hard-working women out of the business, just because a certain faction wanted to see if they could do it. In too many cases, they succeeded in breaking not just careers, but communication, authenticity and comradeship. Notice that women don't speak up too much on those boards? 'Nuff said! Here at Cerb, we squabble and kvetch, sometimes, but we're good to each other a lot of the time, too. Very good--reputation points, nominations, sweet notes on guestbooks... it all adds up to something. Which is a lot in a place that's mostly made of ones and zeros, where nobody gives out their real name. You can hide your identity in cyberspace, but you can't hide much else. If you come out here, you'll find out who you are and you'll have to deal with that, one way or another. Here, where all we have are the words we string together, our words will save, reward or kill us. It's a great place, Cerb. Great folks are here. AND there's sex, too!

Whew! I'm just glad that you're safe, Soleil.

Yay!! Congratulations!

I'm a chronic insomniac. I've found it helps to have a very rigid routine before going to bed. I start with a shower. Then I read for a little while and drink something herbal and soothing. If I can't get to sleep, or if I do but wake up and then can't get back to sleep, after 20 minutes of wakefulness, I get up and get out of bed. I make another cup of tea. I read. When I start to feel sleepy again, I go back to bed. Repeat. It usually works. Oh, and sometimes instead of tea, I'll drink Ovaltine in warm milk. Milk has trytophan, an amino acid that helps us sleep. I'll admit that some nights, nothing works. I know that I have to have four complete hours of sleep or I won't function well the next day. Some nights it's just better to give up and stay up. I'll sleep the next night, for sure!

LOL! Thanks. I've learned so much from being in this business. All my clients nowadays are in their 50s, 60s and 70s. Gentlemen, just two things will help ensure that you're having great erections for the rest of your lives. Quit smoking. Smoking causes all kinds of vascular problems, including high blood pressure and heart disease. Your blood pressure can return to normal within a couple of weeks if you stop smoking. Lower blood pressure means better cardiac functioning, too. And you'll lessen your chance of lung cancer. The most common type of lung cancer is usually found in people who have been smoking for more than 10, often more than 20 years, but even if you've only smoked for two or three years, you will be at increased risk for lung cancer for the rest of your life. And friends.... it's a nasty one! It can be undetected for a long time, but once it surfaces, most people don't live long. Even with a remission. It is very painful. It spreads to other organs and bones, and it almost always spreads to the brain, too. For your own well-being and for the sake of the people who love you, please quit smoking. Lose weight. You know how much you really should weigh. Aim for that. Take a year to get there, longer if you're very heavy. You don't need to over-stress your whole body by crash dieting. Do something sensible. You can lose 50 pounds in a year and not feel like you've been horribly deprived of anything. If you find that you hate "diet food," look around for a private chef and spend a little money getting some help with food ideas. Several of my friends have done that and are thrilled with how it worked out for them. Overweight is just plain hard on your heart because it has to work harder to keep you moving around. It also zaps your energy and then what happens? You get hungry, because carbohydrates perk you up again. Go to the gym, if you like. Even better, get a dog--a decent-sized one, like a Labrador--and walk it every morning and every evening, no matter what the weather. Make one of those walks a good long one--two miles or so. You'll lose weight. You'll feel better, more energetic, and your mood will improve because you'll be getting outside, every day. You'll bond with your dog, and that's just plain good for us. Human beings and dogs have been together for almost 20,000 years. Your mind will be clearer. You will think better. You will sleep better. You will live longer. AND you will have better erections, too!

You're welcome! I should also say that it's completely possible to have an orgasm without an erection. Such orgasms may not feel as deep or complete as those that include erections, but your mileage my vary, as they say. Another thing is, if you have better erections with one of the ED medications, but still not as firm and long-lasting as you'd like, consider using a cock ring. They constrict the blood flow into and out of the penis and can be very helpful! I wrote about cock rings here, just a couple of days ago. Additional Comments: Oooh, yes! Horny goat weed is terrific for many men. Another that's great is Maca. A friend of mine is 59 years old and has type-2 diabetes. He's been taking 500 mg. Maca, 3x/day and loves it. He says it works better than horny goat weed and it's also less expensive. Maca is good for anyone who is under a lot of stress, too. It helps both physical and mental fatigue. For diabetics, it helps support glucose levels, too.

Welcome to seasoned maturity, bcguy! :icon_wink: It's wonderful to know that you have such a fine relationship with your doctor. It sounds like you're able to have good, honest talks with him. That's the key ingredient for successful health care. Okay, about ED medication. (ED stands for "erectile dysfunction," for those who don't know.) Young men usually have strong erections easily with little or no stimulation. As men age, they are less able to have erections so spontaneously, but that is perfectly normal. Young men often can have many orgasms in a single day. Aging tends to reduce the number of orgasms a man can have in a 24-hour period, but it also tends to increase the length of time he can maintain an erection as well as his control over whether, or when, to have an orgasm. If you're having trouble getting an erection or maintaining it until you're ready for an orgasm, you my have ED. If you have erections that are firm and durable, but you're having difficulty controlling when you ejaculate, you may have PE, premature ejaculation. The two conditions are not the same. ED often responds to medication. PE requires re-training your body to avoid ejaclulation; it doesn't require medication. ED is most common among men over 40, and is a frequent issue for men in their 50s and older, because of health problems. Health issues that can cause or contribute to erectile problems include diabetes (35-50% of diabetic men have erectile dysfunction), smoking, alcoholism, kidney disease, multiple sclerosis, being overweight, heart disease, atherosclerosis, vascular disease, and not getting enough exercise. Depression can also be a factor, whether in addition to any of these conditions, or on its own. Surgery can also cause ED. The important thing to know is that ED is not inevitable or a natural part of aging. It's caused by other factors. The best way to avoid having ED is to have a healthy lifestyle. Eat properly. Get exercise. Don't smoke. Don't drink too much. Hypertension, diabetes and heart disease can cause ED and are often preventable. They're also treatable conditions. Many men find that, if they lose weight, exercise and keep their blood pressure under control, they will have little trouble with ED. The medications used to control diabetes, heart disease and vascular conditions frequently also cause or contribute to ED. If you start taking medication to control your blood pressure and find that you have trouble getting or keeping an erection, tell your doctor. There are literally hundreds of drugs and combinations of drugs that will help relieve hypertension. Many people need to try different medications to find the one that's best for them. You don't have to put up with ED caused by blood pressure medication! Medications for other conditions can also cause or contribute to ED. This is not something that drug companies talk about freely, though I'm sure that most know what's going on. Unfortunately, I don't think that drug companies take ED very seriously. It's one area where medical care for men is often very similar to care for women: if the drug company or the doctor doesn't have sympathy for the problem, that's a problem. Social attitudes about aging and sex are everywhere, so pay attention! There are three medications useful for treating ED: Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. They each have their advantages and disadvantages. Viagra is the most commonly-prescribed and has been around the longest. Viagra takes about half an hour to work. Don't take it too far ahead of time or you may pass the point where it will be most effective. It's usually best to wait until you and your partner are getting ready for playtime. With Viagra, many men can go for two full rounds in two hours or less. The most common side effects are flushing--reddening of the face, head and/or upper chest--sinus congestion and headache. A 600 mg. dose of ibuprofen will usually help with the headache. Cialis lasts a whole weekend, for most men. However, one side effect is that it can cause priapsim, an erection that lasts for hours. This is painful and unpleasant. If you experience this, you should go to the emergency room of your hospital. Levitra is more like Viagra. It is the ED drug of choice for men who have diabetes. Diabetic men often have some degree of neuropathy--loss of sensation--in the penile tissues. Levitra seems to help with that. If you take any of these medications before a meal, your response time will be delayed. However, some men will not respond at all if they take the medication with food. Alcohol can also have a dampening effect. Don't take these medications if you don't need them! Some men in their 30s have been known to take the drugs to increase their performance. They may end up with much firmer, longer-lasting erections, but they may also become dependent on the medication, too. If it ain't broke, don't fix it! The last thing I want to say is that the drugs don't work for everyone, all the time. If you're not getting the results you should be with one, ask your doctor to try another. Just as important, expand your erotic repertoire. I think that, in the West, we have become obsessed with intercourse. Great as it is, it is not the be-all and end-all of eroticism. There are many, many other activities that are just as pleasurable, or more. It is perfectly possible to have a dynamic, rewarding and satisfying sex life without ever having an erection. All it takes is some imagination and good communication with your partner.

A featherbed is like a packed duvet, Phaedrus. I put one on top of the mattress and cover it with a fitted sheet. The featherbed is quite heavy and truly wonderful. Soft. It helps keep a person warm in winter and cool in the summer. I have three of them. The oldest is in storage. There's one on the bed and another stowed away in a closet just in case I need to switch. And yes, I get them dry-cleaned. Which is expensive. I suppose that, if you had an industrial-sized washing machine, you could wash them and then lay them out in the sun to dry. But that would take a long time and here, in Vancouver, in September, I don't want to risk rain, or just being unable to get the thing fully dry. So the drycleaner can grin broadly when I take the featherbed in every now and then. I don't have to do this very often, thank heaven. But today... well, let's be polite and indirect, okay? The towels that were supposed to be underneath me weren't in the right place... 'nuff said!

Happy birthday, Dorinda. I hope that you have a year of peace and contentment ahead of you!

Yes, there is! Chris Atchison, who teaches Sociology at Simon Fraser U, has been doing a lot of research related to prostitutes and clients in Canada since about 1996. His most recent research project was for his Ph.D. from the U of Toronto. Entitled Johns Voice, the purpose of the project was to: Develop an understanding of the manner in which power relationships between buyers and sellers of sex are determined and negotiated; Establish whether there is an empirical basis for the calculation of risk that has been attributed to the attitudes and behaviours of sex buyers; Understand and explain the connection between individual acts of violence and the specific commercial settings in which these acts occur; Understand the need for, and effectiveness of, socio-legal interventions directed at consumers of sexual services; Develop effecivie policy, education and intervention strategies that are informed by the experiences and insights of members of the sex buying community; and Provide a space for the inclusion of the voices of sex buyers within current political, social and academic discussions pertaining to prostitution in Canada. I have linked to the Executive Summary of Atchison's report. It's about 40 pages long and well worth reading. He believes that it he has studied the largest sample of sex buyers that has ever been created. His study involved a self-administered questionnaire followed by in-depth interviews with participants who had been sampled to ensure theoretical diversity. Atchison's research blows the claims made by Perrin and Farley out of the water.

....strolling in rather languidly with a gentle smile on my face.... There are no secrets, Jabba, just a mystery: what to tell the dry cleaner about the soaked feather bed today? Fortunately, I have another to replace it....

Right now: extra-strong hazlenut café mocha. Great for the mid-afternoon lag time.

Cock rings come in different materials and configurations. In my experience with older men and men with erectile uncertainties, the man's comfort with the device is very important. I urge men to check out the various models and decide what they want to try. Every one of these has advantages and some drawbacks. All of the toys here are available at Honey Gifts in Vancouver. There are the leather ones with snaps that capitalman mentioned. These are well made from good-quality leather. With four snaps, there are several adjustment options. The snaps make it easy to remove the ring after ejaculation. Leather rings cost $12-15. There are lasso-type adjustable ones: These work best when slipped around the penis and scrotum. The one on the left is made of medical-grade surgical rubber which will make it easy to clean. However, if you're allergic to latex, this may not be the best choice. The ring on the right is made of silicone. Both are fully adjustable for the fit that feels best for you. The rubber one costs about $10 and the silicone is about $19. There are silicone ones that come in different sizes and shapes: These silicone rings are very stretchy. You slide them on over the penis and you can stretch them to go around the scrotum, too, if you like. I keep a set of the ones on the far left in my condom bag. The ones in the middle have different bumps and spines of different textures, all intended to provide additional clitoral stimulation for the woman. The one on the far right is similar to the trio on the left, but has a bigger diameter. These silicone rings cost about $10 for the sets as well as for the single one. And there are some elite models that are beautifully designed and include variable pulse vibrators: This model is made by Lelo, is fully adjustable, rechargeable and costs $126.00. I've never used this model, but Lelo makes ultra high-quality sex toys that are durable, beautifully designed and, the women's toys, at least, are worth every penny. There are other models that have built-in clit vibrators and perineum stimulators. Good ones are made of silicone and can be found in adult toy stores. Cheap, disposable models are available on the racks where condoms are sold in drugstores. I wouldn't use the drugstore variety as most of them are made of a gel substance that is often used in inexpensive sex toys but which can have some unpleasant health consequences for women who are exposed to it frequently. Cock rings should fit snugly, not tightly. As capitalman said, they help to maintain erections by restricting the blood flow. However, if too tight, they may make ejaculation difficult or impossible. Even though these are designed for men, it's important to consider the woman with whom they are used. I am very picky about what can come in contact with my body, particularly my genitals. For that reason, if you are with me, we can either use one of the stretchy, silicone rings that I provide, or you can bring a brand-new, still-in-the-original-sealed-package model of the kind you prefer. I will discard the one you bring after we part company (I don't keep toys in labelled envelopes for each client). The silicone rings are boilable and can be washed in the dishwasher, which means that I know how they were cleaned. As I noted, above, I won't use toys made of gel, at all. Since these toys are inexpensive, buy a couple of different kinds and try them by yourself. See what feels easiest to put on and take off, whether you want more adjustment control or whether you just like the feel of one more than another. I usually ask clients to put the rings on themselves to avoid pinching or pulling pubic hair uncomfortably. Finally, although it's easy for me to say, please don't feel embarrassed or anxious about using a cock ring with a paid companion. Erectile difficulties happen to all men at some point. Being with a new partner can increase anxiety a bit in addition to the various health problems that are a product of aging and lifestyle. Using a cock ring with a condom can be a great way to have a very satisfying, safe encounter with a paid companion.

Congratulations Cato. :icon_biggrin:

You're moving at light speed, RG! Congratulations!

Thanks for giving me a real smile with my morning coffee.

Honestly, don't you think that if a lot more people had much more satisfying sex many, many more times per week, we'd be a lot closer to world peace? Happily blissed-out folks like to cuddle much more than, say, launch Cruise missiles--that's obvious. I mean, you've never seen a bunch of companions plotting world war, have you? It's like a fundamental principle with us. Not to mention that war can be bad for business! So, my point is, if you think you know something we don't, in the interest of world peace, please reveal it.

Congratulations, Ava. Keep at it!