SamanthaEvans

I've done different things at different times, but I've never offered 15 minute service. It doesn't appeal to me and I refuse to do things just because I can do them. I want to enjoy my client. I don't do last-minute or same-day bookings unless the client is an established regular. It's rare to get an appointment with me in the same week a lot of the time. I find the delay and the anticipation to be a good thing. These days, I only offer new clients 2 or 3-hour meetings so that we have time to relax and get acquainted. We've usually exchanged a few e-mails and spoken on the telephone. By the time the client and I meet, I'm eager: I feel like I'm putting all the pieces together, at last and I'm ready to enjoy him and to be at my best for him, too. My 3-hour meetings include lunch or dinner as well as private time. For prospective clients who may be very cautious about things, I offer lunch meetings in a good restaurant with no expectation of time together in private that day. Sometimes I seem to have a lot of these booked; sometimes weeks can go by without one--I'm not sure why. I generally don't book meetings that are more than 4 or 5 hours long unless I know the client fairly well already. Longer meetings just about always include a meal, sometimes a concert, a movie or some other event. I enjoy having an extended time with out of town clients who want to get to know Vancouver a little bit. It's a beautiful city and I'm proud to show visitors my favourite places. Once I've met with someone once, if it went well for both of us, I'm often willing to see him again for a shorter time--an hour or 90 minutes. Half hours are an option, sometimes, too. Many of my returning guests continue to meet with me for 2-3 hours, but others go back and forth between shorter and longer sessions. I decided a long time ago that I wouldn't entertain anyone unless I honestly felt that I would enjoy spending time with him. That's been a good guiding principle for me. Extension requests are fine, but I can't offer them much of the time. When I can, I will.

Dear Ones, I'm stunned. There's something really powerful about moving through a long list of greetings like this. You've made me smile, you've made me blush, you've warmed my heart. Real community exists online; I've known it for years. I'm grateful for this being part of this community. I learn so much from all of you, every day. Thank you!

Bizarre! That men==>clothed; women==>mostly nude; animals==>always nude trope, done in the purported service of animal rights always seems to result in an animal fetish-y thing, since women are pretty quickly equated with the animals and not portrayed as equals with men. When women's bodies are marked up like butchers' diagrams I always wonder whether the message is pro-cannibalism. My head aches . . . .

Tina, I have clients in the UK and in Europe. If they book far enough ahead of time, I accept an international money order for their deposit, but my bank will hold the cheque for 21 business days before releasing the funds--that's just over a calendar month. Only after that will I consider the meeting to be firmly booked. I have also accepted gifts in lieu of a cash deposit. The client can arrange to purchase something--lingerie, etc.--online in Canada or the US and have it sent to me easily. This has worked very well!

Dear Dog, there's no nun. Not one. None! :icon_lol: (Clicking the link results in a 403 error code.)

I used to accept credit cards via Paypal. That way, I didn't have to open a business account with the bank and register with Visa, etc. I never had a problem with PayPal, but I think I was simply lucky. Other companions have had problems with them because it's contrary to PayPal's terms of service for anyone to use PayPal for personal erotic services (as opposed to buying sex toys). If PayPal finds out that you're a paid companion, they will close the account and seize any money you have in it. You could try to get the money back, but you can be sure that it will be deemed to be the proceeds of crime and therefore not refundable to you. Visa, Mastercard and the rest will allow the client to dispute the charge for up to a year and, since you can't prove that you sold goods or unquestionably legal services, you will have a hard time if there's a dispute. Western Union can also be a difficult company in some cases, and their fees are very high. Use a generic e-mail address and have clients do e-mail money transfers to that address. You can tie the address to your own bank account. Once the funds arrive, they're yours. The client cannot recover them later. However, if you have clients coming from the States or Europe, they can't make e-mail money transfers. They can make bank transfers but you'll both have to provide complete, accurate name and address info. Banks are required to report deposits or transfers of $10,000 or more to the CRA. However, one of my clients is a leading expert in bank security and he has informed me that, in fact, the CRA monitors deposits of $5,000 or more. So, be careful about them! Break them up into smaller units if you need to. Always remember: Money is not a "real" thing unless it's cash. As long as it's being transferred around as numbers, the banks' interests are going to be served first, every time!

A very moving letter written by Jack Layton in anticipation of his death and released by his wife, Olivia Chow, today. http://www.cp24.com/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20110822/110822_jack_layton_letter/20110822/?hub=CP24Home

Very sad news. Whatever one's political leanings may be, I think that all would agree that Jack was a fine man who genuinely cared about people and about Canada. To have lost his personal battle with cancer so soon after having had such success in his political leadership is tragic. RIP Jack.

Happy birthday, Soleil!

I have a huge interest in protecting my clients' privacy. It's part of the foundation of my business. If I like a client, I want him to come back and see me again. If I don't like him that much, I want nothing more to do with him after he leaves. Concerns about privacy are important. If you're new to seeing paid companions, or new to a particular city, your safest option is usually with a very well-established companion. She cares enormously about her reputation, not only for the quality of companionship she offers, but for her professionalism, including her sense of confidentiality. If we take the time to review the sensational stories of men who have been outed for seeing paid companions, we will find that the source of the information about those men is never the companions. The men are discovered because the madam of the agency or establishment has had her records seized (her crime, to my way of thinking, is only that she didn't keep sufficiently secure records), or because someone has seen the man going into and out of the brothel, or because he's told someone else (a friend, a family member, a spouse or gf) what he's doing and they've reported it. Try to remember that companions want what clients want: to exchange some time and some personal, private pleasure for some money in ways that are safe and satisfying and then to part company with no strings attached and no further expectations or worries.

I understand your point, face2face, and, on the surface it does seem reasonable. But we're not talking about potential customers in a store. You gentlemen are not interchangeable, nor are we ladies. What we're offering is not an ordinary commodity that we both know can be found just as easily down the street. As I see it, the men who do not accept my screening requirements are not part of my potential client base. The only men I will consider meeting are within a particular age group, comfortable with my limits or restrictions, ready to pay my stated fee and willing to provide the information I ask for. I have a very good, established client base, feel no desperation or anxiety about whether there will be clients to see, and I make a very good living. There's no need for me to relax my screening or expand my client base because I'm achieving the results I want.

A lot of screening is about getting a feel for the other person, I think. While there are a couple of things I definitely need to know before I meet a gentleman for the first time, I may ask for more information than that if I'm not quite sure about him for some reason. I pay attention to my gut instinct a lot, and I know that it's not fool-proof. Every one of us occasionally takes a call that we later wish we'd declined, just as the men here sometimes report that they've experienced feeling very uncomfortable with some companions and situations. I am always very pleased when a prospective client volunteers important, identifying information about himself. For most of this year, close to 75% of my serious inquirers have given me their names and workplace contact information, unasked, in their second or third e-mail. That means a great deal to me. It means that, not only do they trust me not to misuse that information, but that they want to do as much as they can to ease my mind about my safety, too. Occasionally, someone will contact me and attempt to maintain what he imagines to be an iron-clad anonymity. One said that he would ensure that no one, anywhere, would ever find any way at all to prove that he'd been with me. Curiously, he didn't seem to understand that I wouldn't meet with him because I wasn't sure whether we would be engineering a perfect interlude for our mutual enjoyment, or a perfect crime scene. I've been in this industry for awhile; there's usually a way to satisfy both my safety concerns and the client's need for discretion, as well. I've never been genuinely frightened by anyone who has visited me. I believe this is true both because I can trust my gut instinct and also because the vast majority of men who want to spend time with a paid companion have no interest, no need, no thought of harming her in any way.

Reading through everyone's choices, I'm just nodding and nodding and nodding. But no one has yet mentioned . . . The Princess Bride

Ladies: Alexandra-Sky AngelaofOttawa Berlin Elizabeth Saunders fortunateone Nicolette Vaughan Gentlemen: etasman2000 mrrnice2 Old Dog Phaedrus roamingguy WrinkledinTime

Oops! I was going to make a comment and then nominate your post, mrrnice2, but I did them in the wrong order and can't comment now. I want to thank you for your candor. Even in an "anonymous" place like this board, it's a risky thing to be so open and transparent about one's thougths. I value your honesty and your trust. I know you will do what's best for you and your family, whatever that may be, whenever you make your decision.

I've got to say one more thing. Children just about always seen a parent's involvement with a new partner as a commentary on the other parent, whether the two are divorced or one of them has died. And children have oddly romantic notions about their parents' relationship, even if they've seen it be destructive or violent. Children want to believe--very fervently, they want to believe--that their father and mother were, at least at some time if not always, deeply in love with each other and that no other partner could ever take the place of the one who is gone. Of course, divorced and widowed parents can date and otherwise make new lives for themselves. Of course people are not replaceable. Families can adjust to death, divorce and new life. It will be a lot harder, perhaps impossible, though, if the children are having to cope with Dad's involvement with paid companions. Maybe they'll think something like this: "I never knew that Mom had turned him sour on women, but after the divorce, Dad was so hurt that he turned to hookers." Or maybe it will be more like, "Mom, she was so great, such a fine wife, and the best mother, ever. How can Dad dishonour her memory by throwing his money away on prostitutes?" Don't go there!

I think that most here are trying hard to be cautious, thoughtful and to avoid knee-jerk reactions we'll regret later. My sense is that most people are concerned about the level of acrimony we've seen on the board lately and are trying to tone things down out of care for the community. Unfortunately, saying nothing and doing nothing doesn't have the desired effect in all situations, though such silence is my preferred response. I will use negative rep sparingly; it communicates without feeding trolls or re-churning discussions that are best left alone. It's not a wonderful option, but at the moment, it seems to be the best available.

In most circumstances, I can't imagine why someone would need to tell their adult children about their choice to spend time with a paid companion. Many of the gentlemen here report having learned a great deal after they joined CERB. Their preconceptions about the women who choose to be paid companions usually fly out the window pretty quickly. Similarly, their notions about the kinds of men who employ our services are also challenged and changed. Men who are in all other areas of their lives thoughtful, sensitive, and open-minded are usually surprised about the hidden or sub-conscious prejudices and stereotypes they've held unknowingly or without sufficient reason or experience. If it takes a potential client some time to align their experience, how much longer might it take his adult child, particularly if that child has no interest in being educated? Too many adult children are prone to considering their parents to be in their dotage, or verging on it! It's not that they imagine their parents to be unable to navigate the choices they face in their day-to-day lives. Rather, they're aware, as adults, how often everyone makes purely emotional choices and that most people can be manipulated to some degree when their personal needs or desires are part of the equation. Beyond these matters, it seems to me--speaking as a parent--that ignorance about one's parent's sex life is part of the parent/child relationship, even into adulthood. My own teenage son sometimes tells me that I'm not a woman, I never was a girl, I'm his Mom. I don't have sex, never did and won't want it in the future. In other words: he doesn't want to deal with his Mom as a woman with needs and desires outside of his because that's one of the privileges of childhood. Moms are Moms, period. Older children usually think that it's just plain icky to imagine that their parents have sex, particularly now that the parents are, say, over 40! :icon_lol: As a single parent, my agreement with my kids has been that they didn't need to have any significant involvement with anyone I might date unless or until that man were to become a major part of my life. They knew I dated and, this way, they didn't have to deal with anything more than that. As a paid companion--even if I'm your favourite companion, even if you see me weekly or monthly for years--my expectation is that this is a very private involvement, not a relationship that either of us will need to deal with in broader terms. Even if you are a well-known or public figure, this confidentiality is sacrosanct. I accept that this kind of secrecy can be a burden, sometimes, but I also consider it to be part of the price that each of us pays to have the relationship. If a companion and client were to decide to end the transactional aspect of their involvement and become a real-life couple, that's great. I still can't imagine why their children would have any need to know how the connection between them really got started.

Giving the benefit of the doubt is wise. After all, if the other person really meant to be offensive, they'll find another opportunity. Everyone benefits when we pause before posting something emotional. Strong feelings matter, but they also cloud most people's writing. One needs to be more cautious when feeling angry, frightened or disdainful than when feeling delighted or celebratory. If you're feeling really charged-up, it's never a bad idea to ask for help. See if someone you respect is online. PM them and tell them that you're steaming over X's post and you want to reply, but you're not sure whether what you want to say will get across in the way you hope. See what they think. There are intense things going on a lot of the time, but no genuine emergencies. It's rarely critical that we reply to a thread immediately. Taking a few minutes to step away from the keyboard, make a pot of tea, talk to the dog, plan dinner or focus on something else for a few minutes is not going to be a poor choice!

In general, average-sized men are just great. I have a client who could have been a porn star, poor man. It looks wonderful, but it's difficult to manage satisfactorily. If he thrusts too deep, he'll hit a woman's cervix or an ovary, which is quite a bit like being kicked in the balls. He's too big to swallow. Many things are possible but it takes longer to get the woman relaxed enough to be receptive and feel the pleasure. I have two regular clients who are completely dysfunctional. They can't have erections, at all, as a result of diabetes and medications. Both are very fine lovers. They know what to do with their hands, their mouths, their eyes and their imaginations. They might not be so great in bed if they didn't have ED! Nonetheless, they can have very satisfying orgasms, just not with intercourse. What matters is attention, interest, dedication, curiosity, playfulness, a willingness not to take oneself too seriously, a determination that both parties will enjoy themselves, and a no-blame attitude for both, if things don't go quite as anticipated. Drop the focus on hard penis in hot, wet, receptive vagina as the be-all and end-all or defining act of human sexuality and everyone would have a much better time!

You may easily get reputation points from more than 5 people. If you go to any post which has received reputation points, you can see everyone who rep'd you, any comments they made, and everyone who nominated your post.

I have a website and it's served me very, very well for a long time. It takes care of most of my advertising needs and, I'm told, it gives visitors a very good sense of who I am and what they can expect if I agree to meet with them. Cat is 100% correct in saying that we're most at risk with friends, family members and others who know us. LE doesn't have time time to work through every escort ad, everywhere. Besides, advertising is completely legal. I accept, though, that if I were ever to be charged, my website might be used against me. I do believe, however, that it won't be the reason that charges would be laid. Now, I'm in a large city where there hundreds of sex workers are busily plying the trade. In a smaller place, I might decide to do something else. There is no way that I'm aware of to be certain that everything I do connected with this business is absolutely safe. Someone dangerous could slip through my screening requirements. Condoms do not prevent transmission of all STIs. Something unexpected could happen whenever I meet anyone: he could have a heart attack; there could be a fire. I just try to balance out the probabilities, accept that I'm as human as anyone else, and just as likely to make a mistake or a wrong judgment call, and do what I can to mitigate against harm and damage. If I worked in another industry, I'd need to take different precautions. Heck, if I cross a busy street, I need to be careful!

I think of it as one of many ways to evaluate someone here where everyone is anonymous. If a person has a high reputation, that could matter more than if they've made 17 million "I agree" posts. CERB covers the whole country, but the fact is that most of the paid companions, here, are in Ontario. Very few reviews are written about women elsewhere. But a client can look anyone up, see what they've had to say on the board, and see something about their overall reputation, too. We companions can do the same thing for someone who has contacted us. Reputation points given or taken away by members with little reputation of their own don't make a big difference. But if a member has a high reputation, the award they give is worth more points. However, anytime anyone gives negative reputation, they can only take away one-half of the points that they might have given if the award was positive. Nominations are worth one point each, regardless of the reputation of the nominator.

Speaking for myself, I condemn no one. I will judge you only on the basis of your conduct with me. Unless I have heard a negative report from another companion whose opinion I value, that is, in which case I will simply decline any opportunity I may have to meet you. The way I look at it, what happens between you and me is separate from the rest of my life, and yours. Shame and self-hatred are terrible things. If these are some of what you feel, perhaps you might find a good therapist to be helpful to you. Be aware, though, that the therapist will want to talk about your marriage, what it means to you and why you're staying. The answers to these questions will be different for everyone. Our lives may have similarities, but our needs and values are individual. Go easy, friend.....

We never know what goes on in others' relationships, even when one or both parties are very close friends of ours. And, I think, there are three stories about any relationship: each party has one, and there's the one that other people create/know/believe in. I think that what most women have trouble getting over is the sense that they've been betrayed by their partner. I can understand that, if they're still interested in sexual intimacy with their partner. What I can't understand is why someone--usually the wife, but not always--imagines that, even though they have decided that they don't want sexual intimacy anymore, that means that their partner is just SOL, forever. That's not fair. The one who makes that unilateral decision and expects the other partner to give up sex forever--I think that's the one who's cheating. Frankly, it's abusive in ways that seeing a paid companion is not, in my not-very-humble opinion.