SamanthaEvans

I like ottawaadventurer because he's kind and thoughtful. Maybe he'll think of becoming a Vancouver adventurer one day?

I don't have an iPhone, but I'm tempted because I love toys. I found a link to this article in today's Globe and Mail: Researchers Find Hacking Any iPhone And Stealing All Passwords Takes Just Six Minutes. Be careful, folks!

Good advice, qwerty! I've had clients accidentally leave their cell phone behind. It's hard to contact them to say that I have it, though, since it makes no sense to call the cell itself! I do that, though, and leave a message on the voicemail, in case he can retrieve it that way.

Someone in Vancouver has used that title for years, though she may say, "what your wife doesn't do," sometimes. I think she's referring to BJs and maybe anal sex.

Oh, hon.... just wait! We women really don't reach our sexual peak until our late 30s! And from my experience, we can maintain that plateau for a long time...

Congratulations, Lexy!

Wow. I really, really appreciate your openness, antlerman. It takes a lot of guts and a strong sense of personal security to write this openly about your experiences and desires. It's always great to know that you appreciate us, here. We want to be sources of pleasure and delight! I think it's fair to say that working in this industry has meant that most of us women have learned a great deal about male sexuality--what just about always works, what sometimes works, what rarely works but is really fabulous when it does, what a difference age makes or doesn't make, how to accommodate different physical limitations, etc. It's all fascinating stuff, to be sure. It's not so common to be told honestly about clients' sexual/erotic histories, though. I wish more of the men here would do as you have and describe their journeys, curiosity, investigations and hopes for the future.

Verification services are extremely important in the US and are becoming increasingly important in Canada. If a genuine anti-prostitution law is passed in Canada, the verification services will be mandatory. It is very expensive to target independent paid companions who work indoors, however. There are many legitimate reasons for someone visiting someone else's apartment or home, just as there are many legitimate reasons for me to see someone in his hotel room or invite him to join me in mine. I want to point out that many of us do not sell sex on the Internet. I quote prices for my time, alone, and not for specific services. This appears on my website: DISCLAIMER: Money exchanged is solely for my time and companionship. Whatever may or may not occur between me and my client is a matter of choice between consenting adults of legal age. This is NOT a contract for, or request to be contracted for, prostitution. No fees, tips or other forms of compensation will be quoted, negotiated, assessed or collected in exchange for any sexual activity. Contacting me constitutes your agreement to and acceptance of these terms.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be writer, or maybe a pianist. When I got older, I wanted to be a university professor and duly assembled most of the box tops required for that, focused in a specific, not-very-common area of inquiry. But then I had children and could only find work in the States. My kids' father didn't want to move to the States. So, I left academe and worked as a freelance writer and editor for a long time. I still write. I've been slowly working on a non-fiction book for a couple of years. I'm also an artist and part of my income comes from my painting. I would love to have a lot of free time just to paint. When I retire, I will write and paint. The two satisfy different aspects of who I am and keep me balanced.

If you check out a good adult toy store--a high end one--the staff will be able to recommend several different lubricants. Basically, you want something that stays slippery a long time, that's water soluble and that's not made with any sugar ingredients. More important than the exact brand is that you actually use the lube and use more than you think you'll need. Too much is far better than not enough! When everything is well-lubricated, you'll slide into her more easily and have a much better experience, overall, because she'll find it much easier to relax. But if you don't have enough lube, your entry will be more difficult and your movement inside her will be more intense and has the potential to be painful for her, as well. That will make the next time more of a challenge because she may be anxious and have a hard time relaxing, etc. A vicious circle gets going and that's not what you want!

I certainly appreciate knowing if a regular client has decided to move away or stop seeing me for other reasons. A friendly note to that effect eases my heart and mind a great deal. In the last eight years, three of my regular clients died. I found out that one had passed away because he'd made arrangements with a friend to send an impersonal e-mail message to a list of friends and acquaintances. I was grateful to receive that e-mail. I learned that another had passed away because he was a public figure; I saw the notice in the newspaper. The third had been a very long-term client and we were friends on Facebook. When he died, another friend posted a notice on his FB page. I will surely retire someday. When I do, I'll post notices to that effect here and in a few other places. I'll also make note of it on my website for a few months. Finally, for what it's worth, everyone should consider what they want to have happen to their computer files, passwords and similar things in the event that they die suddenly and unexpectedly. You may want to leave instructions for a friend, for example. Another option may be to put sensitive information in a file service in cyberspace if you don't want anyone to discover it accidentally. If the documents, images and so on aren't accessed for a certain period of time, the server will simply delete them.

I'm all in favour of legislation if it's accompanied by sustained police and judicial focus on human trafficking and the sexual exploitation of children. We already have laws that address these issues, of course, but as far as I can see there's no significant, country-wide interest in enforcing them. Defining every person who works in the sex trade as a victim, however, is insupportable. I am not a victim. No one twisted my arm, threatened or blackmailed me into this profession. I can retire anytime I choose to do so and the only ones likely to object may be some of my regular clients. This is so short-sighted as to be myopic, in my rarely humble opinion. Not only is it extremely naive to imagine that legislation can stop men from wanting sex, that men do want it is not the fundamental reason that sex trade workers--especially those who work outside, on the streets--have been targeted by the likes of Willy Picton. But what in the world does this MP imagine will happen to sex workers if their clients are subject to prosecution for purchasing their services? She seems to think that if there are no customers, the women will simply find another way to support themselves that's somehow safer. The thing is, the outside workers were at enormous risk before they entered the sex trade. Their basic problems have little to do with men wanting sex and being willing to pay for it, and a great deal to do with the fact that the great majority of these women are mentally ill and/or addicted to the drugs they can buy on the street. As I've said before in these forums and in other places, if the government has any genuine interest in reducing or attempting to eliminate the street-based sex trade, they would crack down on the production and distribution of illegal drugs. That's not going to happen, though, when the drug trade forms an essential part of the economy of some major cities. For example, on one particular corner of Vancouver's Downtown East Side, the total street sales of heroin alone is more than $1 billion per year.

Non-latex condoms are sometimes thinner than latex ones, it's true. There are very thin condoms made from sheep intestines, for example, but while these are effective in preventing pregnancy, they're NOT effective against HIV transmission. (The HIV virus is much smaller than semen and will pass through this barrier.)

There's a wealth of great advice in this thread already, but I'll add a few things anyway. If you're middle-aged--that is, over 40, and particularly if you're over 50--your age, weight, cardio-vascular fitness, cholesterol level, blood pressure and status in relation to type-2 diabetes (ie., being either pre-diabetic or diabetic) can all have an impact on your sexual function. If your inability to have an orgasm with a partner is recent, see your doctor! Changes in sexual function and libido are common symptoms of significant medical problems. You could be saving or prolonging your own life by having a good discussion with your doctor. Many kinds of medications have a significant impact on erectile function, libido and orgasmic ability. Some of the most commonly prescribed medications are almost guaranteed to result in erectile dysfunction (ED). Statin drugs, which are used to lower cholesterol, are strongly associated with ED. The most recent, most popular, and coincidentally (not) most expensive statin drug, Crestor, has been directly associated with ED, although the manufacturer has done its best to suppress this information. The problem with statins is that the body requires cholesterol in order to produce sex hormones and testosterone. Low cholesterol has also been associated with increased rates of memory loss, muscle aches and elevated liver enzymes, among other symptoms. When cholesterol is low, the body is inhibited from producing dolichols, which are necessary for the production of neuro-peptides, the basis of every thought, emotion and sensation we ever experience. Anti-depressant medications, particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) like Cipralex, Prozac and others, are commonly associated with decreased libido, impotence, difficulty in achieving or maintainin erections, premature ejaculation, weakened penile sensitivity and decreased response to sexual stimuli. Blood pressure medications decrease chemicals that tighten blood vessels so that blood flows more smoothly and the heart can pump more efficiently. Common side effects of these medications include decreased sex drive and impotence. However, there are literally hundreds of blood pressure medications and combinations on the market; with time and patience, it's usually possible to find medications that will lower blood pressure effectively without causing erectile problems. If you're shy or nervous about discussing your erectile and ejaculatory problems with your doctor, try to identify whether you're comfortable with him or her. Would it be easier for you to discuss your problems with a different doctor? If so, find that doctor! But if you think it's mostly your problem, try to get over that. I guarantee that your doctor will have had patients who are younger, fitter and better-looking than you are who are also having erectile problems! Not only that, but erectile issues are one of the most common reasons for men to seek medical help, which means that these problems are things that your doctor will hear a lot about every week!

I've only recently learned that this is an issue for anyone. I'm surprised and saddened by it. I'm an artist. Life drawing classes and sessions have been the most important things for me and my artwork. Paying significant attention to human figures has helped me to recognize how difficult it is to see accurately not only our own bodies, but human bodies in general. It's still a heck of a lot easier for me to draw get a true likeness of a golden retriever than to draw another human. That's because of the assumptions I make about human bodies--sizes, proportions and the relationships between different body parts. My mind tries to convince my eyes that I'm seeing things that aren't there, or aren't where I think they are. How we experience others' bodies also depends on context. In a life drawing class, I will work on whole figures standing, sitting, lying down or in motion. But in an intimate context, I experience the other person up close and in terms of feel, scent, taste, warmth or coolness and, most of all, mood. I spend much less time seeing a partner as a whole, from a distance, than engaging with them in a personal, intimate and dynamic way. I think this is why it matters little to me what my partner looks like but it matters a great deal to me that they're warm, welcoming, attentive, considerate, clean and genuinely interested in engaging with me erotically. I experience physical differences as expressions of the person's individual character and personality. I don't assess them in terms of ideal images. I don't conform to some conventional ideals or standards of female beauty, myself. I frankly think this is part of my charm and allure. I am not a Barbie doll by any means. I'm a real woman, unlike any other. Discovering what makes me who I am is part of the adventure I offer my companions just as discovering such things about them is part of what I seek in our encounters.

Frankly, I'm troubled by your query because you seem to be saying that, because you have herpes--and presumably have had negative reactions from other women--you're "willing to try escorts." You say that you're afraid of being rejected and of having your condition reported to others. I hope you're not buying into the stereotype of escorts as disease-ridden women. It's completely false. You are significantly more likely to be infected with a sexually transmissible infection (STI) from your wife or girlfriend than you are from an independent paid companion who works indoors. That's because we companions generally will not engage in sexual activities which are common in husband-and-wife relationships. We tend to be scrupulous about our health not only because we have many, many sexual partners whose histories we cannot possibly know but also because we have no reason to trust that our clients are infection-free. I also hope that you're not imagining that escorts are the appropriate companions for someone who has an STI--that we're the "women of last resort," so to speak. What I mean to say is that it's okay to expose a paid companion to an STI because she's a prostitute. This is a reprehensible idea. Forgive me if I seem to be casting aspersions your way if you don't think these things. I hope you're aware that many people take the health and safety needs of women in the sex trade much less seriously than other women's same needs. Having said all that, I'd like to suggest that everyone calm down a bit when it comes to thinking about herpes. It's a real infection, it can be troubling at times, and it's also manageable. Good, accurate information is available from the Health Nurse. Read it carefully. Many people have herpes and never know that they have it because they have mild or no apparent symptoms. Those at greatest risk are unborn children, yet women with herpes have safe pregnancies and deliver babies safely all the time in North America when their health care professionals know that the women have the infection. People with herpes are most contagious in the first two years or if they have recurrences more than four times a year. If you're using condoms 100% of the time, taking antiviral medication daily and having no sexual contact anytime you have sores, you're being responsible. When or whether to tell a sexual partner that you have herpes is a complex decision. The Herpes Health website gives useful information to help in your decision-making process. Finally, Australian sex workers who have herpes are advised not to work when they have symptoms until the sores have completely healed. They must use condoms 100% of the time when they're working.

I see most of my clients during the day, between 9:30 and about 3:30 or 4:00 p.m. I may also schedule one evening meeting each week, though since those times are in short supply they're also the ones that may be booked weeks in advance. I don't take same-day bookings, but I'm willing to be flexible about times, when possible. It makes a difference whether the client wants an incall or an outcall engagement. At some times of the year, I book earlier and later in the day. That's only for a few weeks at a time, though. The best thing is simply to ask me when I'm available. We'll work something out!

I'm with the other ladies who don't endorse the pooning bag, and for many of the same reasons. That said, if you do have a preference when it comes to condoms, let me know when you book the engagement. I'll make sure to have what you prefer on hand. I insist on controlling anything and everything that goes on or into my body. There are many kinds of lube that I won't use, for example. It's likely that the ones I do use are not ones you've encountered unless you shop in the same places I do. As for sex toys, if you're interested in them, please let me know. I'm likely to have whatever it is you'd like to try. If I don't, I'm happy to go shopping for it with you, or to buy it myself and include the cost of the toy in my fee for the meeting. Even if you arrive with a toy that appears to be in the original packaging, I won't use it simply because I don't know where it's been or what it may have been used for. I also will not use toys made out of jelly (which is low-grade, soft vinyl), CyberSkin, FutureFlesh or glass. Cheap "adult novelties" found in adult book and movie stores, which are generally made out of hard plastic with rough seam lines, are also a no-no. Many of these toys are made of toxic materials or give off toxic gases. While you might think that's okay since we're only using the toy once, keep in mind that you're not the only man who visits me nor are you the only one who might want to bring along a pink bubblegum flavoured vibrating jelly dildo. In other words: I could be exposed to a lot of things in a short period of time and that's why I'm very cautious about the materials toys are made from.

WIT, your commentary is always so valuable. Thank you for stating your views, once again, and for helping us to think clearly about the issues. There's a lot of misinformation about the so-called "Swedish model." It's a good idea to get the facts rather than rely on third or fourth-hand information. A good place to start is with Laura Agustin, an internationally acclaimed expert on human migration, labour, human trafficking and prostitution. She writes the blog, The Naked Anthropologist, which is about migration, trafficking and sex work. She is also the author of The Other Swedish Model, in which she takes issue with some of the common assumptions about the success of the Swedish model.

That is totally awesome! They had some amazing light displays here in Vancouver during the Olympics. You could go online and design a sequence of lights to be projected for a couple of minutes at night. It was pretty cool. But this is ingenious. Thanks, RG!

I'm told I give great oral. I've been told that for years--long before I started in this business. I usually ask the guy how he likes it. Even though men are more alike than they are different, when it comes to what they prefer when they have a blowjob, they're not all the same. One regular client, who's been seeing me for several years, has a very insensitive head. He needs a lot of firm stimulation to his shaft, focusing at the base when he gets near orgasm. Others want lots and lots of licking around the head. I'm fine with all of it, and happy to know what a client likes best. I nearly always give instructions when it comes to DATY. I'll gently press my hand against his head and/or say something. That's usually all it takes.

I go out on a lot of dinner dates as well as dates to the theatre, a concert or a public function of various kinds. I never worry about being seen by friends. This has only happened to me a couple of times and then I've always introduced my client as a friend from out of town. That's so very close to the truth, anyway, that it's an easy thing to say and, in any case, we're not going to sit down together for the evening. I have seen other clients at some events. That also doesn't trouble me.

The notion that the government is trying to protect women from exploitation is astounding to me. I think it surprised the Ontario Court of Appeal judges this week, too. If the government was genuinely interested in protecting women, they would not hesitate to prevent poverty--that's doable. They would guarantee that women would always be able to earn a liveable wage or to receive assistance comparable to such a wage if or when they can't work. When marriages and similar relationships end, women wouldn't have to jump through complex and sometimes expensive hoops to ensure that they receive child support from their children's fathers and the support that they received would actually reflect the cost of raising the children. Human trafficking would not only be illegal, but the police and judiciary would be zealous to root out and prosecute traffickers. Merely being born aboriginal and female would not dramatically increase one's likelihood of ending up in poverty. Sexual assault would no longer be one of the easiest crimes to get away with: when men rape women, they would end up in jail. The laws about bawdy houses, soliciting and living on the avails of prostitution are not and never were expected to reduce the exploitation of women. The laws are there to reduce competition between men. Men don't want their access to women for sex to be mediated through other men. This is important. Occasionally, someone will post something on this board expressing concern about whether a paid companion will expose him or compromise his privacy--whether meeting with one of us may expose him to coercion, blackmail or violence. In fact, it's extremely rare for a paid companion to do anything like this. It's not so rare for a pimp, however. In addition, men simply don't want to pay other men for the opportunity to have sex with women, whether they're negotiating dowries or access to a prostitute. Outlawing prostitution or driving it underground ensures that pimps will thrive. Yes, the women who work for them may be coerced, manipulated, drugged, and subjected to threats and violence. However, our society is not terribly concerned about women's safety, particularly if they are poor or aboriginal. Women know this: some of us accept the protection pimps offer because we expect men to be coercive, exploitative and violent. We hope that a man may be less likely to harm or kill us if another man knows he was with us. Meanwhile, clients want to have sex without having to pay another man for it, without having their activities monitored and without the risk of being identified if they injure or kill us or if the intermediary decides to blackmail them later. On the whole, men don't fear prostitutes; they fear each other. Laws against soliticing, keeping bawdy houses and living on the avails are there to eliminate the middle man, not protect prostitutes.

The thing is, it's very difficult to outlaw prostitution. If a law declares that it's illegal to exchange money for sex, that's all well and good, but would it be illegal to exchange, say, gifts for sex? If he takes me out to dinner or away for a weekend and we have sex, is that illegal? Suppose he just pays my rent for me? What if he leases a car for me? Perhaps he might buy a condo, townhouse or a house and give it to me--would that be illegal? What if he has groceries delivered to my house every week? He might give me a gift card or arrange for me to have credit with various stores or other places. Would that be the same as giving me money and expecting me to have sex with him? My point is that it's difficult to distinguish prostitution from things that happen in dating and marriage relationships. If you think that we don't get offers of condos, cars, luxury items and even basics like groceries, you're wrong: we do. Many of us--myself included--decline such offers because we don't want to deal with the strings that are attached to such gifts. Cash transactions are simply clearer and simpler for all concerned. Nevertheless, I would not categorically refuse offers such as those I've outlined, above. I would, however, adopt even more stringent and restrictive screening policies and my fees would certainly increase, as well. The basic principles of a capitalist economy would be in my favour. Outlawing street prostitution isn't going to work. It's illegal, already, to solicit in public, but it still happens, and the women who have to work this way are the ones who are at greatest risk of harm. Nothing will change for them if prostitution itself is made illegal.