SamanthaEvans

Yeah, but turtles are really cool! Sounds like a great part of your childhood!

You're one of the best, Meg! Keep 'em coming! xoxo

What a great thread! I love hearing about others' pets. I think that animals are good for us in so many ways. We have two ginger tabby cats who are brothers that we adopted via the Toronto Cat Rescue society eight years ago when they were just 8 weeks old. Their mother had been a feral cat taken in by the TCR. They're great guys and have always lived indoors. A little over a year ago, we got a standard poodle for my son who was missing having a dog and had fallen in love with our friend's gorgeous, shaggy red standard poodle. The puppy is 15 months old now and just fabulous in every way. Soooo smart! Like our friends' dog, we keep her rather shaggy-looking rather than all "froo-froo" styled. The cats had never seen a dog when the puppy arrived and it took them awhile to accept her. But the dog was so incredibly patient with the braver cat. Little by little, she's taught him to play with her, showing him over and over again that there's not an aggressive bone in her body. They're at the point now that the cat will snuggle against the dog, just for a few moments, and then sits on a table playing a game that the two of them have invented that seems to be about how many times the dog can touch one of the cat's paws with her nose before he gives her a gentle bop. It's very cute. The other cat, though, is more suspicious of the dog, even now. He's still thawing, but slowly. I'm sure he'd be happy not to have a dog in the house, but he also seems to recognize that she won't chase him and won't hurt him. I also have an African Grey parrot who's lived with me since she was about four months old. She's navigated one marriage, the births of three children, and life with four different dogs, at various times, as well as the cats. She's 27 years old now and going strong. She'll outlive me, most likely. So, I live in a sort of zoo. It's never lonely!

I have accepted credit cards in the past from clients coming from Europe who were paying deposits for extended meetings, sometimes weeks or months away. I have four or five of these bookings a year, on average. I've handled these through PayPal, which charges a 3% handling fee. I haven't had any trouble with these, but PayPal has restrictions against processing payments for erotic companionship and will close an account if they find that's what it's being used for. Electronic bank transfers work nicely in Canada. For clients outside the country, transfers are still possible but, in those cases, they need to have the complete and real name, address, bank address and account information of the person into whose account the money is being sent. I'm not willing to disclose so much personal information to someone I don't know. My friends, I have to say that I'm becoming irritated by the endless, fear-laden discussion about men's privacy. I think it's not only over-exaggerated, it's also a way to accuse paid companions of having a propensity to defraud clients and to violate their confidentiality. Such cases are exceedingly rare and, I would venture to say, will not occur if one is dealing with an established, well-respected paid companion or escort agency. In fact, I can't think of any recent cases involving this kind of thing. While men may have things to worry about, they will generally be because they have not taken proper precautions to avoid discovery by their wives or partners, not because of something that their paid companion has deliberately done to expose or defraud them. Companions, on the other hand, are always at risk of injury, theft, public exposure, exposure to law enforcement, or worse, even when we think we know our clients very well. The unfortunate, but simple reality is this: we have many obvious and legitimate things to fear from our clientele, while our clients have little to fear from us.

In Vancouver, at least, many of the women in the Asian micro-brothels are not trafficked, but come here knowing that they will be working in the sex trade. They enter Canada as visitors and, as such, are not entitled to be working. They work, touring around between cities or neighbourhoods in large urban areas, until it's time for them to return home. They're migrant workers, not indentured. If bawdy houses operate legally, the police and immigration authorities should still have the right to determine whether the women are working legally. The trafficking excuse is just a smokescreen, imho. Are the authorities as concerned about people who are trafficked to work in agricultural and industrial labour? What about women who come to Canada to work in domestic labour, as nannies and housekeepers? These are the sectors with the greatest number of trafficked and indentured labourers.

I've never worked for an agency. I've always been independent. Having control over things has been very important to me, from the start. That said, it's true that it's more work, sometimes harder work, to do everything myself. In any case, I don't think any agency would want to represent me at my age. What I like best is that I talk to the client before we meet. I find out what he's looking for and how that might dovetail with what I offer. I don't see someone only because he'd asked for a specific activity that I'm willing to provide. For me, compatibility requires more than that. I really do think of my meetings as "experiences" more than anything else and I like to be able to tailor meetings to suit each individual client.

I don't know if it makes a difference, but some hosting companies have branches in different countries. My own site is hosted by JustHost.com. They have a Canadian branch as well as ones in the US, Australia and the UK. I chose them because they welcome adult content and so I thought that meant I wouldn't have hassles from them. Their tech support is terrific, I've found. I've been with them for about three years.

Thanks, SNMD! :icon_smile:

I started out using Evans as a last name. Some clients prefer certain ethnicities, so this was one way to get that across, in addition to distinguishing between me and other Samanthas.

First, I'd like you to avoid paranoia and think calmly. :icon_wink: If you come to see me at a hotel, going to the desk and asking for Samantha Evans' room won't be of any use to you. Samantha Evans won't be registered there. But I will be, in my real name. (And, just in case you try to find out later, on your way out, if you ask at the desk who is staying in room #1105, they won't tell you. Ever. Unless you have a warrant, that is.) If you come to see me at a hotel, we will have arranged for you to call me from your cell phone or a pay phone nearby. I will give you my room number. You go to the elevator and up to my room. If, however, my hotel won't let anyone have access to the elevator without a key card, I will meet you in the lobby, the bar, or somewhere else. I only stay in five-star hotels. They're not necessarily better hotels in many ways, they're just more expensive and part of what I pay for is their manic dedication to preserving their patrons' privacy, whether it's just me, or Madonna. Unless you look like an entirely disreputable man, up to no good and possibly carrying dangerous goods, the hotel staff are not going to ask you any questions. Who you're there to see is none of their business. As a guest, I am entitled to my privacy, after all. Not quite the same level of privacy as at home, but almost. So, trust me, please. Try to remember that I am not your adversary. You and I are in this together. We each want things from the other and, what's more, I'm damn determined to make sure you have a wonderful time with me. Relax. Enjoy. Follow my instructions and all will be well. I promise.

I work from my home. I wish I could afford to rent another place, but Vancouver has the highest rental rates in the country and so it's just not something I can afford. I keep my home clean and tidy and, while we do have cats and a dog, they're always out of the way when someone comes to see me. I do occasionally take a hotel room for a day, particularly in the summertime, and that's worked well, but I feel more comfortable in my own space. For safety reasons, I don't do outcalls to clients' homes but I will visit their hotel rooms.

Too cute! LOL

I'm ambivalent about reviews and have never asked for them. Most of my clients are older men and the few who have mentioned reviews have also apologized in advance, saying that they don't want to write about what has happened between us. It's very personal, and intimate--not something they want to broadcast to the world. I have no problem with this, at all. That said, there are not a lot of reviews about me out there, and most of those that do exist are on American boards. Ageism is rife. There are not a lot of women over 40 in this business and most of us are rarely reviewed. I think that some men enjoy being able to say that they were with so-and-so, a companion they imagine wouldn't spend time with them if they'd met her in other circumstances and tried to date her. They don't think it's much of an accomplishment to meet with an older companion and they're extremely likely to try to haggle about rates and restrictions when they do contact us. Whether there are a lot of reviews about someone or not, it's a pretty good bet that if she's has been around for awhile and has a good presence on the boards and forums, she's doing a lot of things very well, indeed. Ultimately, while good reviews may encourage clients to visit a companion, whether they'll continue to see her has to do with the quality of their interaction, not what anonymous posters have written.

I think most of us use ads to encourage potential clients to go to our websites where we've written more about ourselves, the services we offer, fees and so on. Be careful about assuming that any particular service is "common" or generally offered. That's simply not true, although there are some things that are frequently requested. Many of us don't offer BBBJs for very important health reasons. Speaking for myself, there's a syphilis epidemic in Vancouver that's been going on since the 90s. When asked about BBBJs, I provide accurate, up to date information about this and other STIs as well as links to websites where the information can be verified. I'm not the only one who does this. Whether you become a client or not, we're all interested in keeping everyone healthy and safe!

I'd say let it go, too. After three years, the guy is muck-raking, at best. It really doesn't look good for him to be trashing someone who isn't there to defend himself about things that happened quite a long time ago, now. Lawsuits only make lawyers richer, and slander is difficult to prove since you have to demonstrate not only that he said whatever he said but that it wasn't true (and he knew it) and that what he said caused you some kind of damage. In other words: the bar is pretty high.

The "living on the avails" doesn't apply to the CRA or to the cities that require escorts to purchase licenses, unfortunately. You're required to report all income that you receive in any given year, from all sources. The CRA isn't as picky about what you call yourself or your work. They're just manic about receiving their share. And remember, when you open a bank account in Canada, you have to provide your social insurance number. The CRA is entitled to monitor deposits, though I'm not sure that they do it regularly. They will do so if they have any reason to think that someone isn't declaring their full income. Large deposits are subject to reporting, though, with "large" being $5,000 or more. Many people think that we get away with hiding our incomes since most companions are paid in cash. It's possible to do that, to a certain extent. One can put cash in a safety deposit box, or in a shoe box in a closet, if that's what they want to do. The thing is, it's not easy to spend large amounts of cash. Most landlords prefer a cheque for the rent, for example. Showing up at a car dealership, ready to buy a new car with cash, will set off a lot of alarms, as will going to a jeweler and trying to pay cash for an expensive diamond necklace. The dealers don't want to be accused of helping organized crime by laundering their money. Declaring what you earn as a self-employed person entitles you to write off expenses incurred to do business, which reduces the taxes owing. You can also make substantial RRSP contributions and other investments that may give you a tax break. Talk to an industry-friendly accountant--they're out there! And remember, what you will receive in terms of Canada Pension and other benefits when you retire is based on your declared earnings throughout your working life, so it's to your advantage to ensure that you declare what you earn for that reason, too.

I hope it helped you to get up and write about your dreams, Sara. I was plagued by a recurring nightmare for years, based on a traumatic event in my life. As time passed, I had the dream less often and now I'm happy to note that it only recurs every few months. It helped me to avoid the news in the evening and to refuse to discuss or think about things that made me anxious or worried. I would read something light and pleasant before going to sleep, too. If I woke up, I would get up and stay up for a little while, have a cup of chamomile tea or warm milk, and draw or cuddle the cat until I was sleepy again.

When someone contacts me by e-mail, I always reply unless all they've written is something like, "Send yr rates & pics." My return e-mail describes what I do, what my limitations are, my fees and when I'm generally available. I'm happy to answer questions but I find that very lengthy, detailed exchanges are usually a waste of time. The men who want those are just trying to get some kind of personalized porn and have no intention of booking a meeting.

We don't know the future and we can't control what will happen. But protecting yourself against a possible future loss means giving up the opportunity to be part of this little boy's life, now, and to have him be part of yours. I think it would be a terrible shame for both of you to miss the chance for love and joy.

Me, too! I'd buy one were it not for the certainty that my breasts look much better without that face plastered across them.....

I love Auntie Blatch!

I completely agree with Megan and Sky. I sell fantasies. In my personal life, I deal in realities. These are fundamentally different things and I keep them separate. Part of the fantasy is that after a little e-mail or a couple of phone calls, a man can walk into my place and have me naked and in bed with him within 5 minutes, if that's what he wants, as though this is how things usually are with men and women. If I agree to see someone, that I'll have sex with him is virtually guaranteed. He never has to know much about me, help me with anything, share my interests or my politics, or remember my birthday. In addition to being paid in full and on arrival, I only expect basic consideration and good etiquette. The fantasy might last a couple of hours. It might be repeated many times over several years. I never assume that I will see the client again unless he makes another appointment. I get paid for ensuring that I attach no strings, anywhere. In real life, I don't go to bed on the first date. I want my intimate partner to know who I am (I being the woman who is not Samantha Evans), have some interests and values in common with mine, and to be a willing and equal partner in whatever we do together. I expect to be cared about and appreciated for many things and I expect to care for and appreciate many aspects of my partner, too. If I care deeply for him, he will know it in no uncertain terms and, while I'm not one to tie anyone down--outside of mutually consensual games--I will expect to matter to him and to assume that the relationship is ongoing until one of us says otherwise.

Wrinkled in Time, you've done an incredible amount of work, here--over 12,000 words by my count, carefully explained and beautifully outlined. This is a very valuable resource for all of us. So, what I want to know is, What do you think? By and large, Appeal Courts are reluctant to overturn lower court decisions. After your close reading, examination and condensation, what are the strengths and weaknesses in the decisions of Justices Himel and Rosenberg, in your opinion? What will you be watching for in the Appeal in June and in the OCA decision when it's released? I think we're all pleased that Justice Himel overturned the three laws related to communicating, bawdy houses and living on the avails. Do you have any inkling about what may happen next?

It doesn't. What happens in terms of federal and provincial elections doesn't stop what happens in court. The appeal of the Bedford decision will be heard in June. It will take months before the Ontario Court of Appeal issues a decision. I think they have up to six months to do that. Whatever the judgment is, it's likely to be appealed by one side or the other to the Supreme Court of Canada. Provincial legislatures and Parliament can enact new laws, but they're not likely to do so while this matter is before the courts.

I agree with Cat, 100%. Many things bring us to the choice between being an SP and doing, or not doing, something else. As much as we could, we've weighed the possible consequences of our decisions and moved forward. Yes, there are abused women in this industry. There are abused people everywhere you look. Women and men, young and old, have suffered unspeakable violence and degradation. If we knew one-quarter of the stories of the people we see every day in the grocery store, at the park, in the movie theatre or on the bus, I daresay that most of us would have a hard time standing up under the weight of their grief. I'm more than a little exhausted and exasperated by what Audicia Ray calls "sex worker trauma porn." It's the main thing that women in the sex trade are supposed to talk about. Violence, degradation, drugs and dehumanizing situations are a goldmine, but not for the victims. Do, please, notice that. Newspapers, magazines and new media need these stories. Stories about how being in this business made life better for someone don't sell as readily. Women who really like sex and can enjoy having many partners whom they don't know, largely because those men pay them for it, somehow have less credibility than women who speak of being abused. We know that the world is full of pain and sorrow. We know that life is hard for most people, regardless of their socioeconomic profile. We know that human beings are frequently appallingly cruel to each other. We know that many, many people--not to mention governments and armies--thrive on suspicion and paranoia, and that fear is one of the finest tools for controlling others. We know all of that. Every morning we each wake up and decide what kind of world we are going to live in. Every day, we need to be inspired. What we need are not more tales of terror and warnings about perils to come. We need to hear stories about how people have risen above pain and loss, how they have transcended the darkness, how they found meaning, hope and determination to live in and to make a better place.