SamanthaEvans

They do, indeed! I don't know how I missed that thread, Megan. Thanks for pointing it out.

I know that I've learned a lot of things in my time as a paid companion. Thinking about some of that made me wonder what the men, here, might have learned from time they've spent with paid companions about sex about women, women's bodies and responses about their own bodies about themselves in general If you feel that you haven't learned, or needed to learn, anything, that's perfectly okay. But if you have learned something you didn't know before, I'd love to know what that might be! Additional Comments: To be fair, I thought I should say something about what I've learned. Two things come to mind. First, I am continually and profoundly saddened by the stories men tell me about their wives' apparent loss of interest in sex over time. I believe what men tell me because I hear the same things over and over again, deeply personal, sometimes painful stories or admissions about the lack of intimacy and erotic connection in their relationships or marriages. I was married for along time, myself. I know how exhausting raising children, running a house and managing a career can be. I recall too many times when, by the end of the day, I was worn out and couldn't imagine wanting one more person to touch me, to need something or to require my attention. But sex has always been very important to me and I never wanted to do without it, so I wasn't willing to let it go. I also recognize that only some men seek a companion's services because of the loss of intimacy at home. Many men are content with their marriages, their partners and their sex lives at home, but the want something else, more variety, or to scratch an itch or two that they can't, at home. I don't judge any of these reasons for seeing a paid companion. But I do feel sorry for other women who have decided to give up on pleasure, or who for whatever reason weren't able to find it to begin with. The second thing I've learned is how many men have felt inhibited about exploring women's bodies fully. Men who thoroughly enjoy sex, who say that they're happy in general, and who seem truly to like women, but who haven't been able to have the opportunity to examine, touch, experience and talk about things like g-spots or the anatomy of clitorises. That has surprised me. I've spent a lot of time lying back and showing someone what's where and how it works or how it feels to me. I'm happy to do it. It's often a heck of a lot of fun! But, since most of my visitors are over 50, I also feel a bit sad that they haven't been able to do this before.

That's a good question, Phaedrus. I don't know the answer. I can imagine certain tax advantages for the proprietor, though, whether she works alone or with others. By and large, I imagine that it could depend, in part, on how business licenses are determined, or whether they're needed. I do other, non-sex work, as well, from my home. Technically, my neighbourhood isn't zoned for this kind of thing, but so many people work from home as entrepreneurs or even as employees of offices elsewhere nowadays, that the city doesn't get angsty about it unless there are complaints from neighbours about parking, noise and so on. I imagine that, if I were to declare that that I operate a brothel, that could upset the neighbours even if the brothel was legal. As things are now, I'd be considered to be operating a bawdy house, which is not legal, and I keep a low profile so that the neighbours don't need to be concerned. I would prefer to keep things as confidential as possible, whether working legally or not.

And the moral of the story is: find your companion on CERB, right? :icon_wink:

This board stands out from every other by miles! While there aren't very many members in my area, I spend time here because of the quality of our interactions. I like the serious stuff. I like the fun and silly stuff, too. Most of all I love the general mood and the low number of trolls. It usually feels like people actually take the time to read and think about others' posts. Perhaps most important of all, it seems like a place where one can contribute to a conversation--or start one--without just attracting personal attacks. The ladies in the SP area are genuinely supportive and encouraging. And Mod, I hope it goes without saying, is the absolute best!

Actually, AJR, prostitutes are as subject to the Canadian income tax laws as everyone else, whether we earn our income in strictly legal ways or not. The CRA only cares that our income is reported and taxed appropriately. While it's true that cash transactions are not traceable, not reporting income or not reporting all of it, will backfire eventually. Canada Pension and other benefits that we won't receive until old age are often tied to income earned in our working lives. I'm sure that many or most of us who have been in this business for awhile file accurate tax returns. It's actually not so easy to pay cash for major expenses like rent or a mortgage without being suspected of being involved in something illegal. Making very large purchases--such as buying a car--and paying cash can get you flagged, as well. Sensible people recognize that they may have to account for the source of income they deposit into their bank accounts. Most paid companions think of ourselves as businesswomen!

Thank you for posting this article. It's a very interesting and helpful analogy. One of the things that really irritates me about the Ontario government's position is the apparently repeated declaration that prostitutes are all working outside the law. In fact, it's not at all illegal to be a prostitute in Canada and many of us always work within the limits of the laws. (I'm not one of those, however.) A woman who sees clients solely on an outcall basis, meeting them in their hotel rooms or residences isn't doing anything illegal. My intuition tells me that the Ontario government would prefer not to protect women who work legally now, in addition to weaseling out of their obligation to protect the rest of us.

Thanks for posting this, Lou. I imagine we've all received these hostile e-mails from time to time. I can't understand why anyone would think it's worth his time to write them. Nonetheless, it does seem that some inexperienced, narrow-minded fellows believe that only certain kinds of women have any right to be in this business. But if we couldn't make a living--that is, if there was no demand for women like you and me and the others--we wouldn't be here. I think it's wonderful that there are so many different types of women working as we do because I think that every man should be able to find the kind of woman he wants, whatever her age, size, style or body type. We all have a lot to offer and happy clients are a benefit to everyone.

I'd like to know about them, too! That was a great surprise to me, too, this week, Berlin. The G&M comments are rarely so positive. I will donate to POWER and to SPOC, absolutely! It's hard to know how else to help. If I didn't have such a strong need to protect my own privacy, I would be pleased to take a public stance, as I'm sure would many other women. I'm grateful that others are able to represent those of us who cannot take the risk to speak for ourselves.

I really appreciate the contributions everyone has made to this thread. It's valuable for me to see the range of opinions and preferences. It's also interesting to see how much we tend to agree about the kind of experiences most of us want to offer or to have with clients and companions. WiT and Lou, I'm in your debt for being so clear about the state of legislation and the potential changes and implications ahead of us all. Thank you! I think it would be wonderful fun to have an extended, multi-person fantasy play, though, in the Western theme. I've long admired Miss Kitty from Gunsmoke, and Dolly Parton's character in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. I'd be delighted to pour drinks in such an establishment! Imagine: Shortcake is the Madam, I'm the bartender... fun! That aside, I know I'm not the only one who has clients who are well-known public figures who would not want to run into anyone, ever. Being able to offer completely private, discrete encounters is very important.

I insist on being paid at the beginning of the meeting. While I prefer not to have to ask for my fee, I will do so if necessary. No one forgets this way. I've only once had a new client claim to have forgotten the money when I said that I thought we should take care of business matters before we went further. He offered to pay me later. I declined the offer. He left and never contacted me again. No harsh words were exchanged. In the situation you've described, since the MA doesn't seem to have such a clear policy, I can see how it might be easy to forget to pay her or even for her to forget to ask for the payment. What's important, though, is that you did pay her when asked and that you also apologized for putting her in the place of having to ask for the fee. It sounds like you have a good rapport with her. If you want to see her again, I'd say go for it and forget about what happened--just remember to pay her when you arrive!

Happy birthday, Berlin, and may you have many more happy ones to come! With love, Samantha

That was fun! It will be good to know the results.

Yikes. The next thing we know, they'll be drawing penises on them!

WiT, thank you for posting that information about New Zealand brothels. It's very helpful and I appreciate it. MiaBella, I really did laugh aloud when I read your post because that's the kind of thing I think of, too, when I hear that word! And, like you, I need to work alone. roamingguy, the reasons you give are exactly the ones that I have, too. It's not just about the sex. I provide more than that--time, relaxation, conversation, the opportunity to take things in many different directions, depending on our inclinations. To me, that requires privacy and a high degree of control over, or in, the setting. jake_cd, I can't understand why the government should get involved in any business that doesn't harm society in general, either. Lots of people--particularly religious conservatives and anti-sex feminists--may say that prostitution does harm women and society, but I think that it's very difficult to prove this conclusively. If people want to go to multi-worker brothels, that's fine with me. I don't want to work in one and I don't think that a lot of men would use them.

With all of the discussion about changes in the laws pertaining to prostitution, including changing the bawdy house laws, frequent references are made to brothels. There is an implicit assumption that most sex trade workers will want to work in brothels. Some articles I've read even expect that new laws may make licensed brothels the only legal places where prostitution may occur. While I can appreciate that some women enjoy sharing facilities for many good reasons, and while I think they certainly should be able to do that if they want to, I would never work in a brothel; I do very nicely on my own. I value my privacy; I'm not interested in sharing space used by other workers; and I see no reason to give the house a percentage of my earnings. I'm certain that privacy concerns would prevent the majority of my clients from visiting me or anyone else in a licensed brothel. What about you? If you're a paid companion, would you work in a licensed brothel or some other establishment, or would you continue to work as you do now? If you're a hobbyist, would you visit a recognized brothel?

RG, you're not an average client. Most of the men who see companions are married. As for retired men, they're often very forthcoming about who they are. I appreciate your concern for discretion. It's valid enough. I'm sure you can find a companion who will be happy to see you. However, I'll say again, as I have many times before, regardless of the client's concerns about his privacy, he is never at as great a risk as the paid companion. We are always the ones who are in danger not only of being identified, but of being injured or worse. The greatest risk is to the companion, always. Men who can't appreciate this simple fact, or who consider themselves to be more important or valuable than the women they want to meet simply do not make good clients, regardless of how nice they are or how much money they have. We know that, the moment there's any problem at all--a fire, an earthquake, the bomb squad needs to clear the hotel, etc.--that client will have not a moment's care for the companion and may even act to further compromise or endanger her if he thinks it will help him cover his tracks. If a companion wants certain information from a prospective client, she has every right to try to get it. If she succeeds, good for her. If she finds that she can't get what she needs, she may have to reconsider her screening strategy. By and large, however, there are many, many men who are more than willing to do all we ask so that we can have peace of mind and know that we are safe.

I think that the Ontario government brief will be shown to be describing the situations of outside workers. Everyone knows that the women who work outside are the ones who are most in danger of violence and predation. Inside workers, on the other hand, whether working independently or in massage parlors, are the least victimized. More than 85% of sex trade workers work indoors, and the great majority of us are independents. I also think that the court will not be recommending that all sex work be made illegal since there is no demonstrable social harm caused by indoor workers. There are very few charges laid and even fewer prosecutions of independent workers. Most of the charges are laid against massage parlors under the bawdy house provisions. The court may decide to make outdoor prostitution illegal but whether that would actually succeed is an open question. The real question is going to be about the bawdy house laws, I think. Anti-sex folks will want to raise the specter of noisy brothels on every street corner, but I trust that POWER and Maggie's will show that most sex workers already work independently, on our own or with perhaps one other worker, and most of us don't want to work any other way. We're quiet and circumspect. I know that the people in my neighbourhood would be scandalized to think that a prostitute is working on their street. They'd be even more upset to learn that I'm not the only one in the neighbourhood. But that's just the point: there's no reason for them to know because we stay well below the radar. Even if new laws are written making it illegal for prostitutes to work anywhere other than in brothels, most of us will not comply. We like the privacy we now have and so do our clients, on the whole. Many men who see paid companions regularly would never go to a recognized brothel for fear of being outed to their spouses, family and friends.

Appeal panels always have an uneven number of judges so that there cannot be a tie result. When an appeal is considered to have major implications for legal and social policy, five judges hear the matter. Since the decision of the Ontario Court of Appeal is likely to be appealed to the Supreme Court of Canada, having a full panel of five judges render a decision is appropriate. If the judges do not agree unanimously, the one or two in the minority will write reasons for their disagreement and those reasons will be included in the judgment.

Well, RG, to be perfectly honest, the reason that some of us ask for a work number is that men lie. Shocking, isn't it? But they do. This is how it works: The man's CERB handle is "LuckyJohn789" and he has made, say, 273 posts, establishing a reputation for himself as a guy who can log in pretty often and write a few words. Asked for his real, full name, he says it's "John A. Smith" and the cell number he gives has voice mail on it saying, "Hello, this is John A. Smith. Sorry I can't take your call...". He doesn't want to give his work number to a companion. She only wants to be able to call XYZ Co. and verify that John A. Smith is an employee there. That's all. These calls happen all the time--credit card companies and others make them routinely. He gets irritated and paranoid. What if she discovers that there is no John A. Smith at XYZ Co? (There isn't, because he's really Fred T. Jones and he works for ABC Enterprises.) She might... post something, somewhere on CERB and out him, making it much harder for him to pose as a non-poseur. Why, he'd have to start over, create a new identity, post another two hundred "I agree" and "X has a point. That's my experience, too" kinds of statements for another few of months, along with a couple of phony reviews, before he can claim his reputation makes him a reliable, straight-up kind of guy whom any companion would welcome into her place, bed and body with open arms. He takes the path of highest dudgeon. If he gives the companion his work number, then, why, she'll know where he works! What if she outs him to his colleagues and others at his workplace? It's unthinkable! He's right about that. He never considers, for a moment, whether the companion has a reputation for doing this kind of thing. (Trust me, if she's done it even once, her poor victim will probably have posted the details on every escort board on the continent.) He never wonders why the company telephone receptionist would believe an unexpected call from SuzyHotStuff saying that John A. Smith has a habit of chatting up prostitutes online and maybe even trying to get a date with one of them. He doesn't pause to think about what kind of proof she would have to offer that would convince his employer to take a second look at him. He goes through considerable gymnastics over the question, reframing her concerns for her safety in terms that have to do with his privacy, discretion, need for confidentiality and entitlement to automatic respect, sight unseen. He claims moral outrage and says, in effect, that he's a stand-up kind of guy, salt of earth with a heart of gold, whereas everyone knows that all women on these boards are like SuzyHotStuff--hookers just waiting to take advantage of their next trick so that they can ruin a good man's life. It's an outrage! What will these women think of next? He'd never hurt a fly--it's obvious! He promises he'll keep the meeting, pay the full fee (which he may also mutter is more than she really deserves, but he's a generous guy and the girl is obviously having a hard time in life or she wouldn't be fucking for a living) and that they'll have a good time. He claims to be the soul of honesty and transparency except for this one, little detail: he doesn't want to give his work telephone number. But the companion who is considering meeting with John A. Smith knows what he knows, too, but will never say. He's not as honest as he claims. He's married. He has two or three kids. There could be hell, and legal bills, and years of child and spousal support to pay if his wife finds out what he's up to. He'll do anything he can to keep the wife from finding out about him. That's where the risk starts for most of us. When men are desperate and afraid, they often become impulsive and self-justifying. Unfortunately, that's when we women are most likely to be hurt, or worse. People will lie in order to get something they want or to avoid responsibility for the things they've done. Men will lie to their wives, to their friends, to their employers and colleagues, to their paid companions, to the police and the courts.... Understand? We know that men lie. We do know that. We know that they want to have some fun on the side without negative repercussions or fall-out. Yes, we know that. Not only do we know it, but we'll help you keep your secret. This business thrives on secrets well-kept. Give her the number. Make the appointment. Pay her in full. Have a good time. Give her a decent tip, too, if you like her. Go on your way. See her again, or not. End of story.

I confess that I do care about spelling and grammar. I can recognize that English is not someone's first language when he writes to me, and I'm happy to make all kinds of allowances for that. But I compose my ads and my website very carefully. I pay attention to what I write on CERB and other boards, too. Thoughtful e-mail that engages with me and what I've written matters a lot, whether the author writes as well as I do or not, because it shows me that he's taking me seriously. When I receive e-mail that's written in chat-speak or l33t, I press "delete." I know that the writer and I are unlikely to get along well. I also ignore one-liners, such as "Send yr rates & photos asap."

There are many reasons for making advance bookings, even several months in advance. I'm happy to do it, with a couple of provisos. Having been burned a few times by men who made advance bookings weeks or months ahead of time for long meetings or several meetings in a week when they said they'd be in town, and who subsequently didn't cancel, postpone or show up, I've re-instated my old policy of requiring a deposit for these bookings. I know it makes some people nervous to pay part of their fee up-front. However, I do have reasonable cancellation terms and am ready to refund payment immediately when asked to do so. In some cases, I have accepted several smaller deposit payments over time rather than required the full amount all at once when the appointment is made. My time is as important as the client's. If someone books eight or ten hours with me, weeks ahead of time, I will have to juggle other, long-standing clients around the booking and I will also turn down others who want to see me. To have someone ask for a major part of my work week--and income--and then not show up can unfairly create problems on my end. One way to get around this with me is to begin a polite, extended correspondence. Write to me, asking about what I offer and describing what you'd like to do with me. Let me know that you're not going to be in Vancouver for a few weeks or a couple of months. I'll reply. Respond to my e-mail in a few days. Don't expect to take up a huge amount of my time or to hear from me several times a week. I have no objection to hearing from a potential client once a week or so. I'm also happy to receive phone calls--just ask about my availability for those. If we establish a good rapport over time, wonderful. You can either book ahead of time and pay a deposit, or hope to get a meeting on shorter notice without having to pay any deposit. You risk that I may not be available to see you. On the other hand, I'm much more likely to figure out a way to meet you if I have a very good sense of you and feel that we really will be compatible. You'll take priority over any brand new, unknown new client. Another way to reduce my deposit expectations is to start the friendly correspondence, as described above, and after a couple of exchanges, give me your real name and contact information. No one who has ever given me this information has also reneged on a booking, in my experience. I know the real names, occupations and workplaces of about 80% of my clients, and 100% of my long-term returning clients. I never contact any of them without permission or an express invitation to do so.

When I lived in Toronto and was working there, I found the airport hotels to be less expensive, but not so great for incall locations. Maybe that was because most of my clientele lived in the GTA and/or worked downtown. I found it was much better to take a room in a downtown hotel. Transit into downtown Toronto is easy and plentiful, and it's not at all difficult for both companions and their visitors to be discrete or to find a legitimate reason to be downtown for something else.

Great information, here. I need new luggage, too, though not for touring, unfortunately. Thanks, folks, for the contributions!

Lots of us do like well-endowed men, Rickkm! But I have to say, with all due respect, that if you've never had a problem with any woman, despite your size, then you're not as overly large as you may think. Count that as a blessing, frankly! Overly large men are very often turned down by women because it's not easy to accommodate them without pain or injury. Having someone hammer against an ovary is like getting kicked in the balls. Things can be worked out, with patience and a good sense of humour, but there is such a thing as being too big for most women. The men I've known in this category usually miss out on deep-throating and anal sex, and there are many positions for intercourse that just don't work.