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roamingguy

Elite Member
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    15503
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Everything posted by roamingguy

  1. I have been on a Sea Doo (in the showroom, never in the water) Never have I ever been to Texas RG
  2. ZZ Top-Legs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EXXZVdUJ98 RG
  3. Wow!!!! Thank You Everyone Can't believe post count that high already...but then again, if it wasn't for jokes and the music thread it would probably be much much lower RG
  4. I have been on a cruise (transatlantic) Never have I ever played ice hockey RG
  5. I have flown in a helicopter (the same type as in MASH) I have never watched a professional soccer match RG
  6. Well I'm bald, so no hair products for this guy Not to mention, many many many many many moons ago I was in the army Does that put me in the running LOL And your allowed to lie LOL RG :-)
  7. And I was going to post zipless fuck (yes a real phrase) RG
  8. I've tied me kangaroo down (well I heard the song once, does that count) Never have I ever gone to a brothel RG
  9. YKINOK A bdsm phrase, not that I'm into bdsm, but I've picked up a thing or two RG
  10. P as in Pleasure I bet everyone thought something else would be posted RG
  11. Mount...I know, a stretch and Nibble (I know a lady who really likes to be nibbled) RG
  12. Well not really sexy, but sex oriented jugs or jack off Keeps the game going RG
  13. George Jones-She Thinks I Still Care http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skw4LRMYFCo RG
  14. I have eaten cow tongue Never have I ever had a vodka martini shaken not stirred RG
  15. Congrats on 500. Enjoy your post QA Look forward to reading many more RG
  16. [B]1. A bicycle canâ??t stand alone; it is two tired. [FONT=Comic Sans MS]2. A will is a dead giveaway.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]4. A backward poet writes inverse.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]8. You are stuck with your debt if you canâ??t budge it.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]9. He broke into song because he couldnâ??t find the key.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]10. A calendarâ??s days are numbered.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]15. When youâ??ve seen one shopping center youâ??ve seen a mall.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought sheâ??d dye.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]18. Santaâ??s helpers are subordinate clauses.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]21. The roundest knight at king Arthurâ??s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]23. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]25. No matter how much you push the envelope, itâ??ll still be stationery.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: â??Keep off the Grass.â??[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.[/FONT] When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said â??No change yet.â?? [FONT=Comic Sans MS]33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]34. Donâ??t join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.[/FONT][/B]
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