Ice4fun

A great massage session... wonderful way to start the long weekend.

Without a doubt there is truth in your comment that "Sometimes the castles we build imprison us" on a good day it is generally pretty easy to see that bad things happen in life and they are not your fault... on a good day it is easy to understand that you have friends and people who care about you who will stick with you even if they know your struggles... the problem is of course that all days are not good days and when you are dealing with issues that encompass you and consume your thoughts and your energy it is not so easy to just say hey accept me as i am or I will get new friends... you struggling internally just to feel normal and be accepted. You are undoubtedly correct that in a perfect world those who really care for you would be there for you regardless of your mental health challenge and yeah maybe if your social circle looks at you differently then they are not really your friends but the fact is that in the real world people do treat you differently if they know you are struggling with mental health issue they may not mean to... or they may not even know they are doing it but they do and at a time when you are already feeling very vulnerable it is extremely hard to just say hey accept or not i don't care. More than 5 years ago I did in fact lose a child... I held them in my arms as they took their last breath and told them they would be ok.... words that I spoke at the time in the hope of bringing comfort but words that haunt me every day since as there is no certainty of things being ok.... There are the questions of why did this happen... the question of why did I not do more to keep my child safe... There is the overwhelming feeling that it is unfair that I continue to be here while my child... A much better person than me is gone... There is the feeling that I let my child down and that now it is even more important for me to be the strong one for the rest of my family who is also struggling and who need to know things will be ok even at a time when I can't convince myself of that... So I hide my pain... I deflect and seek diversions that will allow me to forget for just a short while that an important part of who I am is gone... I ensure that the rest of my family knows that we will make it through... that life goes on because they need that assurance so they can move forward... they do not need or deserve to share my pain or even to know of the daily struggle... they don't need the worry of wondering how I am doing... they just need to know I will be there for them. So yep I have made the castle that imprisons me... but I am like all of the rest of us... just trying to make it through life one day at a time.

It's probably been 8 or 9 years since I last hit Playmates for an evening... I am gonna be in Ottawa in early June so I think I am due.... lol

Part of the challenge with mental health is the fact that it is often seen as who the person is not something the person is dealing with... if we have a physical ailment we don't as easily get seen as the disease... Not sure I am explaining that very well... I hope you get what i mean.

Takeout Chinese food...

A nice bottle of red wine...

First to deal with Traci's question regarding male consent... well to be honest until you mentioned it I never really considered it... As I think back about the encounters I have had over the years I don't recall a time when the activities initiated by the lady have been unwelcome by me.. I appreciate that I am a pretty open guy so most likely even if i was surprised by the activity I most like would be ok with it. I do think that my choice of ladies that I have seen may play a part in this whole thing as well as my general desire to connect with a lady during a visit. In terms of the ladies I choose to see they tend to be very reputable well reviewed ladies who are experienced in the industry and normally want some discussion on what type of experience I am looking for this prior discussion while not normally a menu based discussion does sort of pair a picture of the type of experience and therfore as long as the activities stay within this general area then I would think consent was implied by the continuing with the booking. In regards to my looking for a connection in my encounters I think this tends to manifest itself initially in the encounter with a longer period of chatting at the start of the encounter and this often sets the tone. I read the article posted by Berlin that contained the concept of "enthusiastic consent" with great interest... Is enthusiastic consent necessary in my opinion probably not in most cases... I think people engage in sexual activity for many reason and that it is wonderful when both parties are Enthusiastic about their involvement I can think of lots of occasion when it might just be a part of their relationship that they willingly consent to even if not enthusiastically. In the case of this industry I think it would be silly to expect that every engagement involves "enthusiastic" consent especially on behalf of the provider. I would hope the client was enthusiastic or else why is he making the booking but let's be honest this is a business relationship so while there certainly should be willing consent there is no requirement for enthusiastic consent. The lady is providing or fulfilling a fantasy so of course her behavior should seem enthusiastic engagement as she is creating an environment for her client. Of course there is some risk in all of this... us men want the fantasy of enthusiastic engagement and to be made feel that we are, even if for just the duration of the appointment, the most important thing in the ladies day. If the lady or for that matter the client crosses the line from business enthusiasm into feelings that this is real then bad outcomes can happen so it is important that both parties not encourage the idea that there is more to it than a business arrangement if they don't really believe there is. Just my Opinion

Great meeting with a wonderful lady here in St. John's

Happy Birthday xoxangiexox I hope you have a great day.

Roast Chicken with rice and mixed vegies...

Unfortunately car repairs... $1600.00 worth... think it's time to replace my vehicle.

Watching the news and eating supper...

I am not sure there is anything better than having a beautiful sexy woman lying next to you stroking your cock while she kisses you passionately... pretty awesome in my opinion.

Sorry to see the last of the Canadian teams eliminated tonight but that's the way it is. Now being a Leafs fan who has supported all the other Canadian teams in the playoffs... not always easy... I will take this moment to just say this... With Salary cap rules the payrolls for most NHL teams are pretty comparable.... so the leafs and the flame and Habs and Senators and Canucks all make as a team about the same amount.. now most people want to shit all over the leafs for their poor play (with good reason) but when you think about it they got the same pay as the Habs and Flames but worked a month less... Hmmmm in any other industry that would be considered pretty good lolol Extra month of Golf... same pay lololol Like all good Leafs Fans.... I know... There is always next year.

We all make mistakes... perhaps she had some wine or grabbed a quick something to eat and got distracted and forgot to brush... nothing wrong with telling her during the visit or after and if the experience was so bad that you never want to go back that's fine but she might like the info anyway. For me unless it was a serious issue that made me doubt her hygiene then I would more than likely give her a second chance... women have done it for me when i slipped up. Just my Opinion

You can be honest with out it needing to be impolite... the lady is operating a business and should be open to feedback if it is provided in a positive manner. Perhaps drop her a note telling her how much you enjoyed your time together and what you appreciated about her service then suggest that perhaps the only way the session could be better would be if you both ensured you checked your breath... Just my Opinion

Two periods down and it is not looking very positive for Montreal.... I think we will need a miracle in the 3rd....

Hotel and Airfare for my Daughter...

Choosing to participate in this industry should not in any way impact a ladies right to refuse to consent.... No is No regardless of the fact that there is a business relationship that might have implied consent. At ANY Point a lady can choose to say no and withdraw consent and that decision should be respected by the client. While I strongly and unequivocally feel a woman always has the right to say no... To change her mind even at the last minute... I do think that where there has been a business arrangement that was agreed to openly by both parties if the lady chooses to not proceed it would in most cases (not if the decision not to proceed was the result of inappropriate behavior by client) be appropriate to reconsider the financial arrangements previously agreed too. But No means No Just my Opinion

There is no real answer to these types of question... way to subjective...

While I am not anti-Apple.. as evidenced by the fact we have an apple desktop... two Ipads an Ipad mini and several Ipods here in the house I personally think the ability to have a 128gig SD card in my BlackBerry Passport allows me greater flexibility then any cloud arrangement (which i can also do with my BlackBerry) I simply put my music on my phone and have it available all the time no data usage to access the cloud. I can easily update the music every night at home through over the air sync with my home network. I think everyone already know I am a big BlackBerry fan but everything I just said can also be done on many android phones... no so with Apple who want you captive to their cloud service. Just my Opinion

I guess we will know in a few hours if this will be the final Hockey Night in Canada... I am hoping it's not (which is a big thing... not easy for a life long Leafs fan to hope Habs win). While the HABS Have won the last two games and made it a series they still are the underdog with the odds not great that they move on... but if they win game 6 all bets are off for Game 7.

I think our good friend oldblueeyes very much enjoys stirring the post and he certainly has us all reacting with this one... lol

Just home from office gonna grab something to eat and I think I am tired enough tonight that I might actually sleep...

Red briefs...