Old Dog

We'll just have to have bacon sandwiches and look at the boat.....

Chickens can't read. Chickens only think about having sex on the other side of the poor unfortunate roadway. You know that many leave claw marks in the pavement?? But NO protection for the roadway. No. All we think of is the poor chicken and her need for sexual and probably illegal gratification on the other side of the road. And if she gets killed mid way across the road?? That stains the road. Another reason that the road should be considered of greater importance.

Scars??? True Story: When I was a wee pup of 4 or 5, my mom, a neighbour lady and 5 kids went to the Buffalo Zoo. Mom got us all a bit of "kibble" to feed the baby goats, lambs and sundry other small animals in the petting zoo. Baby animals are rather cautious and will eat the kibble out of your hands delicately. It was cool. I had finished the kibble distribution and left with the other kids to look at larger animals. We started with the most vicious evil fucking animals on the face of the planet. Yes, of course I speak of the demonspawn commonly known as a Llama. Apparently, Fuckface the Llama and his cronies decided that I should have held some kibble back for them. Perhaps they smelled fear. Regardless, Lord VoldeLlamaMort decided that my wrist smelled enough like kibble to cause this giant hairy evil shit demon to lock his venomous alpaca fangs into me. There was screaming. There was shaking. There was blood. And to this day I still bear the scar on my wrist where the Llaminator decided to deploy his hellish mandibles. I hate Llamas. I used to have a scar where my brother decided to show off his great skill at flinging laminated playing cards. He flung it towards me at great velocity and at close range; it lodged itself in my chest right at the breastbone. It left a one inch diagonal scar that I bore for many years.... ... until the mother of all scars. Heart surgery. Big one. A foot long scar in the centre of my chest supplemented by a scar of equal length on my left forearm and my left leg.... I just tell people that those were the places that they introduced my adamantine skeletal replacement parts... ;)

Now I am offended. Or would be offended if this was an actual thread about things that were really real. I will feign offence for the purposes of achieving some degree of sympathy or at least empathy... and then when you come to my defence (or not) I will again change my original response to say that I was misquoted and then make you appear like an aggressor. Back to chickens. I would suggest that the only chickens that have ever crossed my road are ones that wait for the light to turn green and the appropriate amount of caution has been observed to allow for their safe and legal crossing of my road. That is the only legal way for a chicken to cross my road and I certainly want to raise myself to the level of pure and strict adherence to legal poultry movement. I still suggest that the chicken's crossing is secondary to the road and even further suggest that the chicken only crosses to see me. Without me, she would never have to cross. In fact why are we speaking of chickens and roads anyhow. Didn't the OP actually state that this was a thread about me and my feelings? I believe that he did; he just changed the whole topic of the conversation when people started speaking about poultry and pavement. Hmmmmmm.... chickens lay eggs. Eggs go well with bacon.

I love Samantha.... we are getting married as soon as we meet for the first time. Seriously, of all the wonderful women of CERB, Samantha is one of the most wonderfullest. And as for Meg, who was forgotten in the maelstrom... I love her to pieces!!! Meg can also marry Samantha and me. We will just snuggle. LOTS.

RG... sometimes it's a merciful thing to end the suffering. It doesn't ease the sense of loss, but it does help when you realize that the pain is over. Take care my friend.

Notch... my thoughts are with you my friend. Take care of you and yours.

Lefty here.... BlackHawks or Bruins?

Beef tenderloin on sale in Gatineau.... just bought $300 worth for me and the tribe. We will be eating well for the next few weeks.... bwahahahahahah... Steak and bacon......

... and of course after the DFK in the bikini comes the semi-clad pillow fight!!

... and remember ladies, Fat Bastards BBM only recruit and maintain a staff of former eye candy. Sure our caloric count may be somewhat higher than traditional candy... but we are like butterflies - what eye candy becomes after metamorphosis. Just eye candy with an extra layer of wrapper.....

I like WeBothScore. Great contributor, pleasant demeanour and a great ass. So I am told. By.... ummmm... people. People who look at men's bums. Mostly girl people. Not that they regularly talk with me about guy's bums. but if they did, they'd mention his bum as a good one. I'll stop talking now.