Old Dog

So... last year we discussed things that were awesome... not like a billion diamonds awesome, but like sunshine awesome. This year we are looking at the anti-awesome. Things that suck. Large. But not large like a plane crash, or having your toes grow together (if that happens)... everyday suck stuff that you can look back at and sorta, giggle. 1. Grooming yourself at the public restroom, you lean too close to the vanity. It appears SOMEONE had been doing a full body bath before you. Result... faux pee stain on the front of your khakis. 2. You struggle and strain with the lid on a jar of something... say like jam (or instead of like jam, jam would suffice.) You pound it with a knife, you whack it on the floor, you run it under cold water. Finally brute force spells success. As you make the final brutal turn, the jar slips from your hand, flies through the air and crashes to the floor. Smashed into a million pieces, a million gooey sticky pieces. You have the lid in your hand. 3. In an intimate gathering you feel the discomfort of excess abdominal pressure. Using your ninja skills, you pass the discord silently into the room... forgetting the meal of cabbage rolls and sauerkraut the night before. No one is amused; they look at you and speak of a person that dines regularly on roadkill....

Berlin... when you come next time, we will get silly. Falling down but laughing about it later silly... yeah, that kind.

Genie grants you the NOBEL Prize! Unfortunately it was in nuclear medicine... and well... bits of you begin to glow... and tragically fall off. Life as a Eunuch can be fun though! Ummmmm... you can sing the soprano parts in the choir! I wish for a nice piece of apple pie...

Wish granted!!! Happiness is yours! Whoops. With that smile on your face ALL the time, people begin to talk. Finally a decision is made to have you institutionalized and tragically lobotomized. You are happy... as happy as an empty jar. Me I wish for a ton of MONEY!

... never actually met anyone that I "knew" but came close. My first year in Ottawa I had a relationship with a beautiful woman with two lovely daughters. The eldest was the spitting image of her mom... and sure enough I was perusing the ads when I came across what appeared to be the ex... only younger. I was thankful that I never made that call....

I can totally relate. My kids had a puppy for 14 years... they were 2 and 6 when we got him. The younger one could never remember life without the dog in the house, the older one was his best friend. When my eldest called me to tell me that the old pup had cancer and had to go for the long walk, both of us were in tears. Goldfish and hamsters may be cute, but nothing compares to a pup or a kitten to tug at the old heartstrings....

Carnival??? Hmmmmm... sounds interesting. Sword swallowers? (giggling naughtily to myself) We could have the painted lady competition... cuz there is a lotta ink out there!!! Will there be scary clowns and evil magicians???

As always, these are events that should never be missed - this one was no exception. I do believe that a fantastic time was had by all... and kudos to Nicki and Angela for their tireless efforts in making this evening a success. Is it bad that I am still a wee bit drunk 18 hours later?

It's official. Michael Ignatieff has lost his seat in the house. The Conservatives ran a slice of dry whole wheat toast against him, and the toast was victorious. Not to be outdone, Gilles Duceppe lost to a discarded orange rind run by the New Democrats. Elizabeth May is eying the orange rind with thoughts to making it a sustainable green source of energy. Jack Layton is coming back to Ottawa with a lot of new friends. Jack likes the "business" we all enjoy.... so look forward to 70 new clients in town. ... and Stephen... well Stephen is back. Only 4 years, 5 months and 17 days before we can have our say again....

I am sorry, but I couldn't find anything in mind less charismatic. I was thinking oatmeal, but being of Scots heritage I actually like oatmeal. Tepid standing puddle water?

Happy happy merry merry!

Have a great one!!!!!!

Woooohoooooo 2000!!!!!!! Does that get a spanking or something? xo

It's early... but a few thoughts. This election was won and lost on the strengths of the leaders. The Liberals have fought two elections running leaders with the charisma of a wet tea towel. Jack Layton wooed the kids and I was thankful that they actually showed enough political interest to turn out and vote. The NDP and Jack Layton now have to show they they are worthy of being the official opposition. Ahhhh Quebec. FINALLY they have come to the conclusion that a federalist party is a better choice than a party that can NEVER hold power. Whew. The center and the left. 60% of ALL Canadians voted center or left of center. The Conservatives learned that by unifying the right, the vote split was eliminated... we may see in 2015 a new political landscape with one major Center Left part (Liberal Democrats?) Harper? He won. The campaign was to get more votes than the diverse opposition and the party did it. Not much more can be said.

Happppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppy Burfday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dunno..... I never ever thought I would say this.... but I saw Harper in Kingston on TV today and the man is sporting a spare tire around his middle now.... I have to respect that....

Hmmmmm.... I am thinking a combination between this guy.... this... and this.... failing that, I would think it would be Conan O'Brien - only more beefy.

I got up early and looked for the sextuplets and the twins.... and then I realized it was a different Kate. I just think it would have made a good series, the Prince and Kate Plus 8...

....awwww I was gonna jump outta a cake too....

Congrats Pinky!!!!!

... and just like breast augmentation... ..

Camel toe vs MOOSE KNUCKLE!!!

I ran into my ex too... it was only a glancing blow and she couldn't prove it was me...

Congrats!!!!!