Old Dog

.... and then there was my dream of being the stunt penis for Ron Jeremy....

Chaka Khan - I feel for you

Outkast - Hey ya http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvKs133Udmk Beaten to the O.... Samantha Fox - Touch Me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiuimDNlyuQ

Pigbag - Papa`s Got a brand new Pigbag (for those who remember the New Music on City Tv.... this was the theme music) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNDccgakPvo

Waterboys - Whole of the Moon

New Vaudeville Band - Winchester Cathedral http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkIJQxzuc8A

KC & The Sunshine Band - That's the Way (I like it!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjY_ZZboaFg

As I think of today, my eyes tear, For the end of the summer is near, Oh the things of my whimsy, Are tops thin and flimsy, On the girls who have shed their brassiere. With autumn, comes heavier wear, With nary an inch of flesh bare, But I must confess, My eyes needed the rest, From three months of continuous stare. So, what's a poor guy to do, When the chill winds of autumn blow through? Why the answer is clear, You should know it, you're here, And you should have thought of it, too. Oh the options we have are so many, Be it Karen or Maggie or Jenny, For CERB does provide, A selection so wide, The value is worth every penny. So now, you had better remember, When you're warm in a bed in December, With a wonderful feeling, As you stare at the ceiling, Thank god I read this in September.

Hey... I am under contract to Fat Bastards now, I am contractually obligated to charge. The last time I gave it up for free, they made me do the "pickle" rally up and down Alta Vista... a lesson I won't soon forget!

Good choice Amelia!!! I dated a ballerina for about a year after the divorce. She was the most beautiful woman BUT her feet were GROSS!!!!

Social Distortion - Ring of Fire

You are forgiven.... Nancy Wilson - The Very Thought of You * sidenote, Nancy Wilson was an absolute sweetheart. Met her when she was touring with Joe Williams and Cleo Laine

The caves are harder and harder to find.... but when you get a good one you mark it. I have my eye on a split level with an open baking pit and ease of access to a stream, meadow, forest and public transit. It was fun while it lasted... but we do agree eating is good. My worry about eating was the time between roles... thus the end of that career. But you??? You are svelte.... damn I like that word. Additional Comments: The caves are harder and harder to find.... but when you get a good one you mark it. I have my eye on a split level with an open baking pit and ease of access to a stream, meadow, forest and public transit. It was fun while it lasted... but we do agree eating is good. My worry about eating was the time between roles... thus the end of that career. But you??? You are svelte.... damn I like that word.

Orchestral Manoeuvers in the Dark - Maid of Orleans (Joan of Arc)

Hmmmm. When I was a young kid, I aspired to be a caveman. No word of a lie. I figured it was a much easier lifestyle. I like meat, a lot. I didn't like to clean my surroundings. I thought that the whole dating thing was overrated, and using a club to get my way with women was preferable... not that I understood what having my way with women meant at 4 and 5 years old. Between 6 -10 I was an aspiring lawyer/politician. I argued a lot. I was persuasive. Then I found out that going to law school was going to take a lot of work, and being an educational minimalist at the time, I decided otherwise. My preteens and mid teens, I was an actor. I loved the stage. If there were auditions to take I would, and roles came my way. I won a few awards, and was recognized a bit locally and had mention nationally for a time. Then I realized that acting meant not eating. I like eating. Late teens and university days? Teaching. I came from a long line of teachers. I worked at it, did some supply teaching, but then came she who stole my heart. She said to me, "I think you should stay in the area so we can be close." I switched my universities and dropped out of the teaching program. We broke up before the start of the school year. After that??? I just wanted to be employed in something that interested me. I tried this and that, and about 20 years ago I found it. I was able to use my creativity, my ability to write and my sense of judgment... and I never looked back. My future? I am thinking the caveman thing is looking pretty good again...

Sheila E - The Glamorous Life

Another damnable Y!!!!!!! I must resort to disco dammit!!!! Yvonne Elliman - If I Can't Have You

Cherry, you are a woman after my own heart.....

Just another reason to book with Fat Bastards BBM.... carry on...

Lisa Lisa - Lost in Emotion

Another key contributor ... lotsa milestones lately. Congrats Etasman!!!

Al Green - Let's Stay Together http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppzf3N0mdHo&feature=fvst

Advanced lessons Now that you have mastered the basics of a grocery store, let's deal with more specifics. 1. Children - Children in a grocery store are a menace. Okay not all of them, just the rampant rogue children that play in the aisles. Remember the Blue hair ramming skill? Use it. Obviously these children were brought to the grocery store and set free because their parents thought them expendable. With working reproductive organs, these children can breed like feral rabbits. 2. The wanderer - Wanderers manifest their presence by parking their cart in front of the section that you wish to peruse and dashing off without their belongings. It is perfectly acceptable to take anything good from their cart and then push it into the drug store section and fill it to the brim with Vagisil, Lice shampoo, feminine deodorant spray and extra large bottles of lubricant. If you have time, place a large number of English cucumbers next to the lube. Continue shopping thereafter. 3. Fruit fondlers - In every produce section there are claw fisted old people that wish to feel every piece of fruit and the occasional vegetable. They will spend hours fondling, sniffing, shaking and knocking every piece of fruit until they find the right one. The only way around this is to offer alternatives. Using a carefully hidden megaphone, announce 5 minute specials on adult diapers, laxatives and efferdent. Old claw handed fruit fondlers will be drawn away, allowing you to get the produce you desire. 4. The cell phone block - A recent manifestation, the cell phone block happens when a person blocks a complete aisle in order to hold a 45 minute conversation with their BFF. The secret?? A flanking manouevre. Reverse your direction, go down the adjacent aisle and enter the offending aisle from the rear (also known as the Greek spear.) Using cunning, skill and guile, hurl a can of creamed corn towards the cell holding hand. Extra points are awarded for not only knocking the cell phone out of the hand and destroying it, but also for causing concussions. 5. The mathematically challenged - In cash lanes clearly demarked "10 items or less" you will often encounter people with 55 items or more. It is a perfectly acceptable practice to kill them. The current kill master is a retired math teacher, Gordon Mitchell, who has 78 confirmed kills notched on the handle of his custom made grocery cart, aptly named the "Mathsassinator." 6. Parking perils - Safe parking practices begin with a careful selection of spots. Careful observation and years of research have discovered that the best place to park your car is directly beside a cart corral. Since absolutely no one returns their carts to the corral, it is logical that your car will be safest there.

Al Stewart - Year of the Cat http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79ABz4m4lJI&feature=fvst

Max Webster - High Class in Borrowed Shoes