Old Dog

or is it this one?

does this help?

I have extra ass chaps..... heheheheh

I get a mental image of a conveyor belt, stirrups and an individual booth, little sign on the wall "Please press the green button when finished. Thank you and have a nice day!"

Wow. There's not much to add... wow. I must admit that I was pleasantly surprised when my 2 o'clock cancelled. Flyer had been pm'ing me constantly wanting to know what the RJE was all about.... not many get the full Ron Jeremy Experience. I thought, "what the hell?"... the Flyer is that kind of special. What could happen in 15 minutes??? Woooo hoooooo.... I am glad I had the extra pair of ass chaps.... and the ten gallon hat??? By the time we were done it was almost filled to the brim. ABBA was quickly forgotten, we moved quickly to Starland Vocal Band's "Afternoon Delight"... and I must say that it certainly was.... the emergency chute and slide was not the only thing that inflated rapidly *wink* You must drop by the next time you are in Ottawa... I just had the faux fur replaced in the 1976 AMC Pacer... it is to die for.... and we can experience the rumpus room with my collection of velvet Elvises (velvet Elvii??)... with the almost wood panel and the orange shag, it is a splendour to behold... and remember Saturdays are Sloppy Joe nights and I may even let you browse through my collection of Scandinavian porn on Beta!!!! Boooom chicka wow wow!!!!

Listen my friend, the sweet talk will butter me up but it's still $250 an hour. Bwahahahahahahahahah

Happy birthday to both of you!!! Have a wonderful day and a fantastic weekend!

Well done Lindsay!!! I am glad it's you instead of me; I get winded driving 5 kms.

Mine are too!! Ummm... but I would prefer that you refer to them as moobies.

1. I was raised by wolves outside an Indian village. My original name was Mowgli. 2. Okay, number 1 was complete bullshit. 3. I was born in a small town in Southwestern Ontario and moved to Ottawa just 4 years ago. 4. I am the third of four boys in my family; none of us were scared of our dad, but mom frightened the bejesus out of us. Dad was 6'3", Mom is a smidge over 5'. 5. When I left the family home after the divorce the first thing the kids asked was, "What are we going to eat??? Mom can't cook." 6. I was actually born during JFK's inaugural address. 7. Other than that brief period when I believed that girls had cooties (ages 6 thru 10), my circle of friends has almost exclusively been female. 8. I have two piercings and one big tattoo... 9. I think Kevin Smith is a genius. 10. This has taken me a lot of time so far. I keep looking to the right and Heidi, Victoria, Tess and Dorinda keep flashing their boobs at me... I may have attention deficit disorder. 11. I have a hard time remembering that Tom Bosley was Howard on Happy Days and David Doyle played Bosley on Charlies Angels. It would have been easier if Bosley was frickin' Bosley. 12. I have an IQ of 168 on a good day. Today is not a good day. Most of the time I hover slightly above moron (51 - 70), imbecile (25-50), and idiot (0-25). 13. Most 13 year old Portuguese girls can grow a better moustache than I can. 14. I am 5/8ths Scots. The last generation of the family came over to Canada in 1842 on HMS Britannia... on board at the same time on the same ship was this English guy named Dickens. 15. On a Scots note, the clan can trace its heritage back to 843, the coronation of the fist Scots king, Kenneth I. The royal life didn't suit the clan; we were better at stealing cattle. 16. I was bitten by a llama when I was 5. I despise them. 17. I have a weird memory. I can remember the telephone numbers of friends that I have seen in 30 years, but I can't remember where I put my keys... 18. I am a Capricorn/Aquarius cusper!

That's egggggzackly what I think of when I see Ava's legs in fishnets!!!!

Welcome to CERB Sasha! Have fun and enjoy yourself!

I love unwrapping a gift and seeing a bonus that isn't expected... one of my favourite peeps in the world has a lower back tattoo that I discovered quite by accident. To see her you would say there is no way in HELL that this girl has a tat, all prim and proper is she... but sure enough, there it was. I love the fact that tats let you express yourself.... whether you want to do that is entirely your business.

isn't that the planet that Luke Skywalker lived on????

Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!! I LUB it!!!!!!!!!!!

I will be hitting this one too... let's have some fun!

The roughest night of my life was the first Christmas after the divorce. The kids spent Christmas eve with me; I had to drop them off at their mom's late Christmas eve and drive home alone. Bawled like a baby.

.... especially the part where he says, "You're gonna love my nuts...."

Old people talking about death and dying?? It's about a diminishing circle of friends and the regret of not spending time with people. Think about it... your circle of friends are a group of people (large or small) that share a common bond with you. Every time one of them dies, your circle gets smaller and more important, the recollection of your common history gets diminished. So when the last buddy that you went to school with dies, that part of your history dies.... there is no one left to laugh about your past or share the poignant points of life... it is really a scary thing, probably more scary than death itself. Your own death is an acceptable part of life, it's the thought of being the last one standing that is truly frightening.

The best solution??? Move. Fruit flies don't drive and are pretty stupid. It will take them years to get to your new address.

Competition???? Oh you have not seen my best!!!! ;)

If you can't wow them with Chips..... There are a few Indian food stores around and I know that you can always get a bunch of samosas.... deeeeeelickyious!!!!! Grab a few dozen veggie samosas, maybe a few chicken or beef.... get some mango chutney, mint chutney or coriander chutney.... Pakhoras, Bhajis, Naan... yummy.... all of it quite easy to warm and equally as easy to eat!!!! Additional Comments: and for a wee dessert treat???? Dorinda's own banana splits!!!!!

Sooooo.... still looking for a Cabana boy???? At your service!!!!!!!! Slightly used... but och, oh sooooOOOooooo friendly.... Willing to rub feet, fetch drinks, warm and serve food and speak in a dead sexy Scots accent... and you wee lassies know what a grand auld clansman wears under his kilt!!!!

Would Lindsay Lohan have to be doing the crab walk??? (props to Peter Griffin)

Hmmmmm slaves..... For a week??? Monica Bellucci. Nekkid and making out with me. Angelina Jolie. Nekkid and making out with me and Monica Bellucci. Megan Fox. Nekkid and making out with me and Monica and Angelina. Tiger Woods. He would have to stand and watch, just so I could point out that he wasn't getting any of my action. Ohhh and when I get tired I want to stare at goats and make them fall over. I would get Tiger to put them up on the hooves so I could stare at them and make them fall over again. George Lucas and JarJar Binks. I would force to make George and JarJar sit in a room together... with Ewoks. I would then get George to sign an agreement to only create ideas and let someone without the mentality of a seven year old to create side characters. Ohhhhh.... the creative juices are flowing....