Old Dog

ooooooh that is a tough one... it really depends on the mood. Fiction is the choice du jour.... Llamas or Hitler?

I can't speak to the cravings - it's an issue that still daunts me. In the grander scheme, my motivation is to wake up tomorrow morning. That will be the goal for me for the rest of my life... just to wake up tomorrow morning - everything else is gravy. Major health concerns will do that to you - they let you understand the best thing in life is life itself. Set goals if you wish - but don't forget to live - TODAY. I "died" for the briefest of moments 12 years ago. I had no vital signs. I was a young, healthy man with the world at my feet. My heart decided to just stop. Genetics had given me astronomically bad cholesterol levels to which I was completely oblivious. I was chastised by many physicians who claimed my life was a train wreck, accusing me of all kinds of physical debauchery - but the family physician actually sat me down and said, "this isn't your fault. Your body is betraying you." It was the day of my heart surgery that I said to myself, "if you get through this, you are going to cherish every day." I have. There are still things that I would like to do, things I want to do... but if I can't get to them, I will be satisfied with being happy. In reality, that is what should matter most to all of us. So set your goals. Battle hard to make them work. Do whatever you can to achieve them - but never forget the universal truth. All you have and all you are is what you are experiencing right now. The past is gone and the future may never be. Live, laugh and love and help others around you do the same.

1 Beer... you have a choice of all of us!!! Beer and a bacon sandwich and we are on ya like white on rice!

... another extended warranty for the replacement TV.... not EVER going to go without one of those.

Why is it that on a board full of exemplary service providers, the only thing you can't make come is spring?

Dealio!!!!!!!

we have set traps for you my dear.... bwahahahahahahahaha

I am bringing a special bacon sandwich!!!! hehehehehehe

What do I get for a bacon sandwich??? wink wink....

Do beer and lysol make a decent mixed drink?

Nope... I took some penicillin and that stuff cleared up with no recurrence. I have no idea how I got it.

Ahem. I believe the issue here was about nasty business experienced by a client when he was dealing with a provider. Let it be said that I have NEVER had to share that experience in the world of paid companions... or mystery house guests who want to have sex with me if I leave a money laden envelope in plain sight... or magical princesses transported to my location from the sexy planet of Humpalottus.... the vast majority of women in this industry are far more diligent about the delicate matters of pooter maintenance than women in the vanilla world. That's a fact, Jack. That being said, ladies, if you wouldn't be willing to rub a finger inside and stick it under your nose and then in your mouth, the likelihood is that your cooch is a scary place. It's the same thing with foreskin... if you think you smell cheese, it's a BAD thing. Go to the shower, set the pulsating massage head to POWER WASH grab some soap and have at it... repeat until you would go down on yourself, you sexy soapy hygienic beast, you. As for the post coital shower... ummmm... if you are a client, knock yourself out. Take that shower. Scrub like a demon. Apply sparkles to your junk. You deserve it ... you are one handsome, satisfied and ultra clean dude. But... again if you are a client... ummmmm.... why do you care if she showers AFTER the fact and in your presence? She knows she has to maintain and frankly it's none of your business where or when it gets done! Your transaction or mystery visit or whatever the hell you want to call it is OVER. Jeebus. and now, a song... sung to the tune of Carolina in the Morning... me, me, me, me (that's just doing some vocal exercises... feel free to join) Nothing could be finer than to have a clean vagina for your session, Nothing could be sweeter than to have a cleaner wiener for your session, Yelling dirty stories Screamed through the door, And orgasmic glories Rattling the floor. Rolling with a girlie with a necklace made of pearly in the session, No longer you're a loner cuz she's playing with your boner in the session, If I had Aladdin's lamp for only a day, I'd make a wish and here's what I'd say: Nothing could be finer than to have a clean vagina for your session. I'm a freakin' musical genius....

Dammit.... both have their merits... so I choose.... King Kong or Jack Tripper?

Loblaws. And someday soon... I seek their lush vegetation.

Bless ya Crank!!!! The "taint" it is!!!! Kung Pao or Kung fu?