Old Dog

Congrats dude!!

Congrats my friend!

It's like the question about providers that won't see men of a particular ethnicity. Bottom line? Who cares. For every provider that restricts the age, ethnicity, body type, etc there are probably 100 or more providers that are willing able and ready to take that client. You can get angry, you can feel indignant, you can cry all you want but... no one gives a damn. Face it. We have a bajillion choices to make, whether it be here or other sites or media outlets. Are you really going to get hung up on the ONE that won't see you when there are literally hundreds who will? Spend your money and time with someone that wants to see you. You feel better. She feels better. Everybody is satisfied in one way or another.

Okay... we have Star Wars... and we have burlesque. Both very good things. Combine them... wow.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD.... WANT!!! (My birthday is next week......)

Lots of interesting angles to examine. 1. What happens to the girls working at the club who DON'T wish to partake in the extras? 2. What happens to the clubs that don't have the room to expand or renovate to accommodate the new services? 3. How does a club deal with a revenue generating client that one or more dancers/providers have had bad dealings with? 4. Would there be a higher DJ/locker/appearance fee for dancers regardless of the willingness to participate in extracurricular activities? Would the club take a cut of the "beyond the stage" dollars? Would there be a set price for services regardless of the provider? 5. Does a club expand the dancers roster to include "non-traditional" performers? Generally one finds very fit young women performing at venues; what about BBWs, Mature, transgendered etc? 6. If we were to use Ottawa/Gatineau as an example, would BareFax being in the very tourist driven market be excluded from providing extras where as Nuden, the Playmate, Silver Dollar etc would be allowed to proceed? 7. How does this impact non dancers? Would revenue decrease for the more private provider? I'm sure there are many more concerns; this is just what popped into mind as I saw the article...

Happy belated birthday hun!!!! I know you were rockin' it!

I was just thinking some other cleaning products... what about febreeze?

She's not always there, but Adora at the Playmate is gorgeous, enhanced and an absolute charm....

Hmmmmmmmm... coincidence???

I ate a piece of bacon today. I didn't go into death spasms. My gallbladder did not attempt to kill me. I haven't had bacon in 3 months. It was a mouthgasm. Oh yeah... I swallowed.

I went to a store in Gatineau looking for English muffins. They said I couldn't have English muffins, I could have French muffins. I asked if any of the French muffins were bilingual. None were. I have no idea what a French muffin is, but it tasted good. I'm rather confused.

Duo etiquette rules: 1. Choose providers who either have seen each other naked or can stomach seeing each other naked. 2. Choose providers of the same species or genus. For example, do not ask if a provider will work with a chia pet, velociraptor or plank of wood as a duo partner. 3. If you have a kink about clothing, make sure that one or both of the providers do not show up in the same outfit you are wearing. One of you is going to look better and the other will cry just a little bit. 4. Establish well before the encounter who gets to be Batman, who gets to be Robin and who gets to be Alfred the butler. You can't have two Batmans. That's an international convention. 5. Establish a bacon friendly environment. Everyone loves bacon and if they don't, they can't be part of the duo. 6. If you own an iguana and it is fed through an ingenious contraption that automatically dispenses food onto an an awaiting plate, make sure that both providers see and understand. Everyone needs to know about reptile dish function. (or was that erectile dysfunction??? Maybe I heard it wrong.) 7. Gifts are nice but be equal in the distribution. You can't give a bottle of champagne to one provider and a package of lime jello to the other. 8. Nobody is allowed to fart. That's against the rules. 9. If you are playing Risk as part of the encounter, always remember to establish in Australia and secure Siam. That's a guaranteed 3 extra guys every turn. Duo chicks dig Risk. 10. Margarine should never be used as part of a fantasy. Always use premium dairy products, not corn or other vegetable based substitutes. 11. There is no 11, please proceed to 12. 12. I was kidding about 11, there is no 12. 13. Skip the clown fetish. It's weird and will freak EVERYBODY out. 14. Lube and crazy glue should never be kept in the same drawer. Trust me on that. 15. If you are new to the duo game, please don't send pictures of your penis to either partner. You'll get penis cooties and be unable to perform. ... that's what I have so far.... but then again, I am tired.

Surf and Turf!!!!!!!!!! Dammit. Hand job or being mauled by hyenas?

Ohhhhh bacon. You are only a few days from rejoining your lover. That's right... in 9 short days I am removing the obstacle that is keeping us apart. I thought my gallbladder could see past its petty desire to control my life... but no. It stood between me and my true love. Do you see what I am doing for you bacon??? Do you see??? I am having an internal organ removed just to be reunited with you. THAT'S LOVE dammit. TRUE LOVE. I hope you have been faithful, bacon. I did not betray you. I abstained from all artificial and simulated fat free bacon products while we were apart. I know that you have been seeing others... and I am okay with that. We can be polyamorous with you seeing others. I sometimes see other foods too. But dammit you have to believe me when I tell you that I love you.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh fresh bacon.....................

Got a call from the surgeon today. I thought she was going to say that my surgery date was going to be 4 months away.... but to my surprise, she said "How does January 20th work for the gallbladder surgery?" I said, "well that is my birthday BUT... YES!!!" Sooooo... in less than a few weeks, I will be reacquainted with one of the true loves in my life. Bacon. I love you. I miss you. We'll be together soon, I promise.

Au naturel. I can't find stockings in my size and heels are a bitch to walk in... at least for me. Ummmm.... ohhhhhhh.... you mean on her.... um.... hell, gimme skin. Koalas with leprosy or badgers with lasers?

There is a large difference here. We, as clients, have the option of choosing from a vast array of providers. We read the ads, look at the pictures, check Cowboy Kenny's diary, read the recommendations here, or the reviews on other sites. If there is an obvious bait and switch scenario OR the person has grossly misrepresented themselves in either ads or pictures, then by all means we, as clients, have the right to cancel. That being said, we have a vast array of screening tools at our fingertips. We CHOOSE our providers based on OUR criteria. Our expectations may be greater than reality, but if you do your homework, that is not likely to be the case. Providers do not have the same resource base. They do have a means to screen their clients based on personal preferences. That is the subject of this thread. If a provider feels uncomfortable with a particular person, then that person will not be seen. END OF STORY.

Flowers are a welcome treat... in the right circumstances. One thing you have to keep in mind is this: Do you know her well enough to give them? Flowers are a very visible gesture... and if given to someone who can display them appropriately, can brighten a day immensely. BUT... 1. Flowers in winter are problematic. They suffer greatly in the transport to and from the appointment. Cold weather is a bad time to give flowers. 2. Some providers just can't take them. If you lead a secret life, you can't accept overt gifts. Flowers have to be displayed or discarded... and if you can't display them, you have to throw them out or give them away. 3. Some flowers are very fragrant and there are people with issues with excessive fragrances. 4. Travelling providers aren't in town for long - and vases are too fragile for luggage and take up a lot of space. 5. Bacon sandwiches make better gifts. Alright, so do perfume, chocolates, wine, small pieces of jewellery, and a lovely financial tip - all of which can be appreciated and kept far more easily than flowers. Just a few thoughts from a hopeless romantic....

Congrats missy!!!! Miss ya!!! xox

Congrats buddy... now let's go get beer.

I tried that. Now my butt is hot.

It's like the rule: " You should never go grocery shopping when you're hungry." Men... well we're kinda, ummmmm.... horny. And.... when the blood rushes to our nether regions, it evacuates from our thinking parts. That's when the inner caveman takes over, "Grog have big woodie like club. Grog need naked lady." Now the caveman scenario works if there is a willing naked lady in the immediate vicinity, perhaps in the same house or room. "Grog now happy. No need to polish club alone and cry after." In the world of courtesans, companions and other c words that sound very classy and debonair, there is a bit of prep time required. And travel. Prep time and travel. Oh. Shower time. And hair time. And make-up time. And finding the right outfit time. And deciding that the first outfit doesn't work with the nail colour she's wearing, so she has to find an appropriate outfit that matches time. And screw it, I like that outfit, i'll just change the nail colour time. And the time just before she changes her nails because that manicure cost 45 dollars and she'll be damned if she doesn't find something to show it off time. And then rooting through the closet to find SOMETHING to match the nail polish time. And then the eyeliner time. And then perfect shoe time. And then comes the time that she reflects that it's only a 30 minute appointment and the perfect outfit, shoes and stockings will be on the floor in two minutes time. And then there's the dammit, I'm dressing for me not for him time. And then there's the where are my keys time. And then the can't find my cell phone time. And then it's time to get to the appointment. So you see guys... you need to book well in advance. Yup.

It's cold. I took two steps outside this afternoon and WHAM. I'm hung like a toddler. I think my testicles have retracted so far into my body that I have two mini kidneys. It's THAT cold.