swegin

"...Mom?!?!" *gouges out own eyes, Oedipus style*

I've found "Going to Starbucks" doesn't really work. "Having a meeting at the bank" is a good one, as their head branches usually located near downtown hotels, they can take a couple of hour, and there is literally zero physical evidence required. Perhaps a hastily assembled file folder of random number printouts with important-sounding notes written on them. Plus, you can say you ended up making a couple of deposits!

I met keissy hennessey this week in Halifax for an hour this week, and it was a visit from heaven. She is beautiful, tanned, has a gorgeous body, and has some skills that put everyone else to shame. This girl puts so much passion and energy into a meeting that three times in an hour was no problem. THREE TIMES IN ONE HOUR. And I am no longer a young fella. Do not doubt the power of keissy, she is the best. Friendly, enthusiastic, and unstoppable. Go see her! What are you waiting for?!

Well, there goes my career aspirations :pimp: I wonder if it's too late to become an astronaut...

They thought no one would be able to pronounce Lux? Who wouldn't be able to pronounce that? It's like the first element of "Luxury". I think the Latin words it's derived from are cool to: Luxuria, and Luxus!

I think if I had to choose a working name, it would have to be something solid. A classic. Something weatherbeaten and manly, reminiscent of a bygone age when men were men and thick oily pomade was ubiquitous. A moniker that hints at a dark past defeated only by a long troubled redemption; a handle that suggests a dash of adventure and intrigue. An appellation that would be at home if used by a hardboiled detective. Something special, and unique. Something majestic. Something like... "Spurt Magoo".

Oh, jealousy is indeed the dragon in paradise; the hell of heaven; and the most bitter of the emotions because associated with the sweetest! I know you bring your A-game to the buttlympics, and have been blessed. Few red-blooded men could resist the sight of your luscious cheeks, and cannot help but to dream of them nightly. But can you defeat me at my own game? I think not! I'm the king of the posterior, there is none higher. Sucker rump-owners, they call me sire!

Definitely yoga. Runner-up: washing my car

I must be wearing my stupid hat today because I haven't the foggiest what site y'all are talking about. Could someone please send me a private message and put me out of my misery? Thanks!

It's me. I have the best butt. No pics though! There isn't a photographic device invented by mankind that could faithfully capture it's broad and curvy essence.

Do margaritas count as food?

I was thinking of starting a Naked Nerd offering, whereby an awkward lapdance is performed while removing spyware and installing critical updates!

Recently I was lucky enough to share a Naked Chef date with the lovely Amelia. You may think that Jamie Oliver is ?The Naked Chef?, but believe me, the man is but a shadow. Amelia IS the Naked Chef, and until you have shared her delightful Borscht, and nibbled caramelized apples from her smooth skin. Oh, there were smarties in there too! I?ve noticed that proudly proclaiming ?GFE? has become a staple of Service Provider marketing. You can guarantee that acronym will always appear; it is as inevitable as an admonition about calling from a blocked number. The ?Girlfriend Experience? is a promise of companionship beyond mechanical coupling, and delivered by SPs with various levels of skill and enthusiasm to provide a better service. I?d just like to say that Amelia?s variant of ?GFE? is somewhat misleading. Because if any of us had experiences from our girlfriends like the one she can provide, we?d never leave their sides. We?d be stuck to them in delicious goofy awe, confuddled and blissful. Don?t get me wrong, she is hot enough to take your breath away, and friendly and confident and knows all the right moves for sexy time. But the experience is so much more than that, it?s kind of hard to describe. It?s a level of connection and easygoing rapport that defies explanation. I?m still letting it sink in. It dominates the thoughts. I could not recommend it any more highly. If you do not partake of it, your life is missing something rich and awesome and you do not even know it. I pity you, and feel sad.

Hey, if you have a nice crib or a handy hotel room in Halifax, don?t hesitate to give PorcelainPunk (Luscious Lacey) a call! If you like a rocker girl with piercings and tattoos, she?s your girl. She is tall, curvy, friendly, and a fuck of a lot of fun. Be sure to read her claims on her website, she?s not lying about any of them! She?s open-minded, a great conversationalist, and you?re guaranteed a good time. Recommended fo? sho?!

11. Smarties 12. Borscht 13. Caramelized apples!

The trick if you're a dude is one of those Gillette Fusion Power razors. It's next to impossible to cut yourself with them. Any other type of razor down there, and through the blades, up came a bubblin' crude! Blood, that is. Haemoglobin.

I wonder if anyone has ever inadvertently got into an intense debate during a session, when attempting to strike up a conversation. Perhaps about politics, or gun control, or who the best prime minister of England was. Note: It was Lord Palmerston, by the way. And I refuse to hear otherwise!

I heard the girls who work in them are actually space aliens, who peel off their fake skin after a session and snack upon vacuum cleaner lint! :-o

I love a good conversation, although in a limited time it's often difficult to overcome the awkwardness of the situation. It's great if you can find some common ground and a similar sense of humor or shared interests, but if you've just met a gorgeous lady and your brain is yelling at you "SOON MY PENIS WILL INTERACT WITH HER IN JOYOUS WAYS!! YESSSS!", it can be difficult. Still, I've had some great chats about tattoos, music, travel, family, and work. Any intimate situation, especially if it's with a complete stranger, often end up in some unexpected and unique conversational areas. And it's those rare sparks that make life worth living, eh? Posted via Mobile Device

Everyone likes to look at beautiful female forms - I know I've been refreshing in an OCD-like fashion waiting for PorcelainPunk's new gallery to go up - but what's more important to you when it comes down to it: looks, or enthusiasm? Obviously a hearty helping of both is the best, but if you had to choose, which way would you lean? For me, it's definitely enthusiasm. A great attitude and energy means everything in an encounter. You could be with the most gorgeous girl in the world, but if all she can muster up is a dead-eyed sheeplike gaze and mechanical movements, does it even matter?

rickoshadows, I know you said to not even ask about Halifax, but what is the situation in NS? I'm completely in the dark about the state of affairs here!

I seem to have some chronic fear of lateness that always leads me to show up early to things. Then you have the awkward 15-30mins of sitting around in the car, or if you're lucky there is a nearby mall or something to wander around in. Luckily, the advent of the iPhone makes it much easier to waste some time!

I think for me it's the fact that I'm fairly well-off, and I'm at a point in my life where I'm fairly relaxed and I know what I want. I enjoy enthusiastic women, and touching, and new experiences.

I imagine that gifts are appreciated, but never required. Posted via Mobile Device

I've always been a big tipper - restaraunts, haircuts, taxis, SPs, you name it - although I realize it's probably because I'm fairly well off, and like to brighten someones day whenever I can! You only live once, so why not make the experience fun for everyone around you. Posted via Mobile Device