LeeRichards

Fawk. Tough thing to do. :( Tried lots of things so I will keep reading. At this point. When I need a puff !!!! ??? Oral sex ladies ? Only way I am gonna quit. Seriously. Keep my lips and tongue busy. I smoke Allotta ! ;) Any quit shmoking volunteers ? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ! Keyboard stuck there

Yesss... .I should be out of hibernation by then. Put my name on a barstool by the boobs somewhere....

Sitting in my truck at work.....pouring rain and temperatures still at minus seven and winds gusting to 80 km. Seriously now....throw me a frickin bone here !!!

From the wise words of the critically acclaimed documentary "American Pie" that I watched AGAIN last night.... "This one time at band camp....I shoved a flute up my pussy" Anyone use these ? Cause I could bring one along.....serenade you first even though I can't play it.....then hand it on over ;)

Backdate this 6 days..... but you still get 6 more spanks ;) Well Happy Birthday Miss Veronica Lodge from TO !!!!!! xox

The poster was throwing a name out like everyone else did on this thread. If you know more Brittany's than him then kudo's, but he was happily trying to help I do believe.

Well OD.... I for one luvvvv and luvvvvv and luvvvvvvv again French Muffins ;) Delish !! Never in Gatineau tho ..................

"ROAR !!!" Which translates to HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET TITS ! I think.......... Spanks to cum at a later date. ;) Hope you have a fantabulous Birthday Claire !!!

. Yup. Been there. "Hi Lee....my name is Dr. Doolittle. I am going to spend just a few minutes with your pet here and bill you 5 bazillion dollars and you are going to pay it because you love your pet" License to print money almost.

It's been awhile so I have been quietly perusing thru the new photo albums.....shhhhhhh. So if you girls suddenly feel two eyeballs burning up your ass ? Those would be mine... ;)

That does suck Nikki !! But if you're going to trip it is better to trip "up" than "down" me thinks. Keep your phone between your boobs hun !! Put it on vibrate .... it will probably feel gooooooood ;)

I concur with Vanessa and Woody. I met her briefly at social as well. Very pretty, personable and as sweet as honey !

Sweeetheart Extraordinaire !!!! You have a natural born gift Tracie for being so down to earth, caring and making people smile constantly ....sometimes when they realllllllly need that :)) Kudo's babe.

Well I went to the doctor recently in the fall of 2012 and he called me fatty. I replied "I know you are but what am I ?" Anyhooooo my fellow fatties. It appears our lodge is faltering a tad bit. Zero bookings in the last 5 years or so I believe. So good news is I decided to go on a recruiting mission. A 2014 Canadian tour so to speak. I have been on the road since January or July of 2013 . Guess I got a headstart. I looked in my bank account and priced flights and I can made it to Halifax. One way. So that's it for the tour. But I had a plan. An impromptu one I hid out in Katherine's wine cellar and ate grapes to stay healthy until she caught me :icon_redface: Then I all Austin Powered her with my charm baby and offered her some grapes and we got drunk and shagged like there is no tomorrow !! Then I gave her an LR massage (hard to explain but it may be on Wikepedia ? ) and cooked her and me breakfast with her food out of her fridge with my hands and burned more calories on the table after breaky was over....desert breakfast I suppose...then I was on my merry little way. So I was on my way to Vermont (which was the wrong way and Em took care of me once again ;) ) when I bumped in to my beautiful wifey Emily !!! She said " Whatcha doin here ?" I said "I dunno' She said "Wanna talk tits?" I said " Sure, I normally don't talk tits but yours are God's gift to all of us" She said "Get in my hotel room NOW !!!! " Emily is a redhead and I love her....and I listen !!!!! ;) I had to ask her directions from the linen closet where I like to sleep....but I found it !!! Calories be gone. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Then I hitch hiked to Truro. Never done that before so had one thumb going each way so little confusing to the drivers apparently. Truro ? They have trees there or something ? And PENELOPE is in the area !!! I MISS PENELOPE !!!! Holy Doodle calories be gone there I tell ya !!! and spankings !!! let me tell ya Tom foolery galore and one horny mess. Ohhh the memories. From there I played hopscotch with the kids until I hopped all the way to the ocean and planned to swim over to PEI. Nope.... wrong side of the province sigh. Sooo had a beer. then washed dishes to pay for it. Walked to the other side of NS and swam over to PEI. Had a beer with that MRNice guy gone retired and see he is still beating the crap out of his house with a sledgehammer and renovating. He fed me and housed me and offered me beers :) oops calories be BACK ON !! Then rented a boat. A big boat. Then paddled my way over to New Brunswick. Then looked over and went "Hey ! When did they put that fucking bridge there ? " Then I got a text from Wifey #3 Savannah in Newfie land saying she needed some "maintenance" done at her house. So up over the bridge I walk. Then realize I am back on an island. Shit. Sooooo off swimming again I go to the nearest iceberg. Crawl on . Brrrrrr my nipples hurt !!! Shit !!! iceberg going wrong way :( Swim again.... get on iceberg 69 heading to Newfoundland and boom there in a week !!!!! Have a visit with wifey...MAINTENANCE TIME :) eat her food and drink her wine out of her fridge. Still on a squeaky tight budget you know. It's cold so we are buck nekkid in bed cause they say skin on skin keeps you warm and alive ? Right ? mmmmm There was a power outage of course but I actually flipped her breaker.....shhhhhh..... So we burn calories. and again in the kitchen and again in the living room. Gotta keep warm !!!!! ;) Off I go ! I shall snorkel my way outta there me thinks. Hmmmm ... end up in Labrador..... I had a nice conversation with a seal and then carried on my little way. I hiked, walked, swam, snorkeled, and belly flopped my way to Quebec. I had a nice visit in Montreal. I spanked VJ, Chrystal spanked me, Keissy spanked Chrystal, Emma spanked all of us cause we were bad bad bad good bad !! Good times. Eyes Wide Shut. Then we ate sushi and all danced nekkid in the street :) Sooooo Feelin kinda slim and healthy by now by cracky. !!! Still had a one pack ab but it is smaller now. Soooooo off I go to Ottawa. Hitch hike again. Get picked up and off we go. Where ya heading I ask ? "Moncton". Fuck !! Stop the car please !! Wrong thumb again. So I stick out the other thumb and get picked up and boom I am in Ottawa in 2 hours ! yay. Take me to the airport I say. Not sure why I ain't flying. Then I grab a cab at the airport and go to the hotel. So I go to check in and they ask me for my credit card ? I say "sure I play cards !! Cribbage, 500, hearts, snap....you name it ! " "Where's your linen room or do you have those floatee things for the pool cause I am tired and need some sleep ? " Then I pick up my cel phone and listen to music while I borrow someone else's phone to text Cleo and Kathryn. I say... "Hi...My name is Frank" No reply.... "LR here.... I have no money but can I squeeze your bits anyways? " No answer.... "You sexies like ice cream ? " no answer. Then I said ............" Look girls I am the damn president grand exalted present and past puppa of.....disclaimer.....used to be until I got voted out :( of the FAT BASTARD LODGE OF CANADA, ONTARIARIO SOMEWHERE CANADA !!!! I have a goofy hat !!! please talk to me" They replied "Ohhhhh . Are you that fat bastard guy, bald with a goatee, have a hairy chest and drink saki in the Jacuzzi and love luv love LUV Allotta Fagina ? " That's me Okay....sooooooo...... Apparently my Tandy computer from Radio Shack I found in the dumpster is dying so I better let the keyboard rest, charge er up, and continue on with the ....... "Fat Guy with the Plumber's Butt Blog" tomorrow ;) Hugggs and Kosses ZZZZZZIIIIIIIIZZZZZ

Jaysus woman.... do you know that when I read one of your posts.... I read one word, then your bum bum flashing GIF at the bottom of the page catches my attention !!!! ?? !!!! Takes me 5 minutes to read a damn paragraph !! ;) I THANK you :)

I just had a burst of growth.... now where do you sign up for this ?? Study ?

Precisely Pete !! I picture those two singing ...... 4000 bottles of beer on the wall....4000 bottles of beer....if one of those bottles should happen to fall in my hand .... 3999 bottles of beer on the wall..... hiccups .... and start over 4000 pictures of boobs on the wall....4000 pictures of boobs .... :boobeyes: and so on ..... ;) Congrats Phaedrus !!!! Well done and look forward to more !!!! (ps....ease up on the Fat Bastard posts about LeeRichards ...Okay ? I am getting a bad reputation for being a redneck fat bastard ! )

Happy Happy Birthday Sexxxy Pants Rebecca !!! Have a shagadelic day !! xo

Yes after shoveling snow and ice I also like to come in for Yogi and a beer in my recliner. But I am not your average BEAR ! ;) and then a nap. naps are good

Confucious would say me thinks.... "One who must cum in tissue....can do so at home in own bed" Don't blame you at all OP for your disappointment Live and learn I guess.

Claire Heavens

and meet ..... Miss Caaaa meltoe ;)