Loralee Reach

Thanks to Lindsay Jackel in Australia Sun, 10 Jan 1999 Below is a review of the UK Channel 4 the documentary program, Dispatches, on FEMALE on MALE DV, screened on Thursday 7 January 1999: Source http://www.channel4.com/njs/search_indexnj.html to search on the words "domestic violence" to find the following announcement: Thursday 7 January 1999 UK TV Channel 4, 21:00 DISPATCHES A six foot security guard is knocked unconscious... stabbed and beaten - by his girlfriend - who is under five foot. A weeping police officer describes how his wife tried to suffocate him with a pillow while he was sleeping. In a specially extended Dispatches reporter DEBORAH DAVIES reveals the extraordinary results of the largest ever survey of male victims of domestic violence. Dispatches talks to men about why they have suffered yet stayed and have no faith in the police, and to women who explain why they are violent to the partners they love. The First Step Centre run a helpline for people experiencing domestic violence offering advice, information and counselling. Lines are open 9am to 8pm Monday to Friday, 11am to 4.30pm on Saturday and 2pm to 5pm on Sunday. Freephone 0800 281 281. Repeated at 1pm on Thursday 12 January 1999. Liverpool has a crisis line that will help both men and women involved in violent conflict. Call 0151-548-3333 —WHS

Battered Men - The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence Battered Men in Washington Domestic Violence Against Men 25,473 Washington Men a Year According to National Violence Against Women Survey Estimates by Bert H. Hoff Every year, 1,510,455 women and 834,732 men are victims of physical violence by an intimate. This is according to a Nov. 1998 Department of Justice report on the National Violence Against Women Survey. What does that mean? Every 37.8 seconds, somewhere in America a man is battered. Every 20.9 seconds, somewhere in America a woman is battered. Every 20.6 minutes another man in Washington is battered. In Washington, that's 42,824 women and 25,473 men. That includes 2,754 men on whom a knife was used, 5,508 men threatened with a knife and 11,016 men hit with an object. There may be a trend toward less violence against women, more violence against men, or both. While 76.5% of the people reporting physical violence by an intimate in their lifetime were women, only 62.5% of the people reporting physical violence by an intimate in the last year were women, and 37.5% were men. The data show that men are more likely to have a knife used on them or to be threatened with a knife, hit with an object, kicked, bitten or have something thrown at them. Women are more likely to beaten up, threatened with a gun, choked, victims of drowning attempts, have their hair pulled or be pushed, grabbed or shoved. Buttons for Singles In Previous 12 Months Percentage Number in US Number in WA Type of Violence Women Men Women Men Women Men Rape 0.2% 0.0% 201,394 - 5,710 - Physical Assault 1.3% 0.9% 1,309,061 834,732 37,114 25,473 Rape and/or Physical Assault 1.5% 0.9% 1,510,455 834,732 42,824 25,473 62.5% 37.5% What does that mean? 834,732 men battered a year means every 37.9 seconds, another man is battered. Every 20.9 seconds, another woman is battered. Every 20.6 minutes another man in Washington is battered. Type of Assault Women Men Women Men Men Total 22.1 7.4 100% 100% 25,473 Threw something 8.1 4.4 36.7% 59.5% 15,146 Pushed, grabbed, shoved 18.1 5.4 81.9% 73.0% 18,589 Pulled hair 9.1 2.3 41.2% 31.1% 7,917 Slapped, hit 16 5.5 72.4% 74.3% 18,933 Kicked, bit 5.5 2.6 24.9% 35.1% 8,950 Choked, tried to drown 6.1 0.5 27.6% 6.8% 1,721 Hit with object 5 3.2 22.6% 43.2% 11,016 Beat up 8.5 0.6 38.5% 8.1% 2,065 Threatened with gun 3.5 0.4 15.8% 5.4% 1,377 Threatened with knife 2.8 1.6 12.7% 21.6% 5,508 Used gun 0.7 0.1 3.2% 1.4% 344 Used knife 0.9 0.8 4.1% 10.8% 2,754 Source: National Institute of Justice, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women: Findings From the National Violence Against Women Survey Exhibits 7,8, p. 7 (Tjaden, P. G., & Thoennes, N. )U.S. Department of Justice, National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Research in Brief series, November, 1998. NCJ 172837 On-line (Adobe Acrobat Reader .PDF format) From National Criminal Justice Reference Service (NCJRS) by mail: NCJRS P.O. Box 6000 Rockville, MD 20849-6000 Telephone: 1-800-851-3420 (toll free) or 301-519-5500 (local) TTY: 1-877-712-9279 (toll free) or 301-947-8374 (local) FAX: 301-519-5212 ask for NCJ 172837 Washington Population Data: OFM 1998 projections, statewide, men and women over 18. 2,073,807 women, and 2,007651 men. As did the NVAW survey team, we multiplied percentages by population numbers to estimate numbers for Washington.

Breasts.....when we are girls we want them large and we stuffed our little bras with cotton balls......when we are matured and sexy we know that breasts are a source of pleasure, does not mind their size, gentle sucking and gentle kissing, as if with the tip of the tongue......hmmmmm can't continue....obviouslyyyyyyyyy LL

felicitacions.....congratulations....you well trained old dogie!!!! keep the posts up, we all enjoy them!!!!! LL:wink:

My brain always gets in the way if I am served frog legs......ay, ay, ay....... Once at a dinner party I tried something looking like chicken and when I learned it was "pigeon" I had to run to the ladies room and vomit...... Brain .....or ....stomach......? Brain first, no doubt..... LoraLee

Thanks Antler.....It is so sad to see human beings destroying each other in the quest of misused power, excess of power and a sick ambition for control! It is like a contagious disease, a chain effect, a domino effect....we all get damaged, victims and victimizers....kids learn it from the parents or the school mates...and eventually they apply it to others....a never ending story? I hope not It was very nice of you to share your story. xoxoxo LoraLee

Dear Erin, do you realize how many men are being mistreated? I know by experience that we girls are more abused that they are, but I humbly think that if the cause of the abuse, in any way can be the abuse these guys had when they were children, or what they saw at home happening, may be a litytle bit of what we have sufferes ourselves. Erin, I am not fighting against you, please, just try to see my point. I am not denying anything you say, but I can not arbitrarily blame all man for the fault of some....we are evolving as a society and the prisons are also full of women gangs who pray on another women...this is a sex issue of the stronger get the weakest.... Let's se if we can agree, we are both educated and able to have a conversation without hurting each other. My point is to help the boys who, whatever their age, have been victims of abuse. Men in general do not talk as open as we girls do. but they hurt and they have to be able to get an outing...not all man are shit Erin.... Cordially, and peacefully , without intention to create havoc as a University Graduate I have studied Human issues and men are always taken behind women, that is absolutely not fair Erin, LoraLee, your colleague and friend

Rick sweet man, I know about that, just rest assured the stigma against men has to stop as well as the violence against women......we are all victims of the same society patterns.... LL:sad:

Dear Mutau, a gentleman like you can not even imagine what goes on behind family doors. The doors that suppose to be the safest are in many cases not safe at all. You treat us and your own family as queens and kings, you are a real gentleman and I am a witness of it. I really believe that by talking about this we all benefit. May be violence against women has also a root in violence against men. Let's see what answers we get about this. Here goes another story: Once in a business transaction with a husband and wife, I had to turn my face away from the couple due to the screaming the woman was attacking the husband with. she called him names and slapped his face in the presence of myself and a loawyer....we really did not know were to hide.....it was absolutely embarrassing for us, imagine the man.....!!!! LoraLee:-(:-(

Thanks Steve.... you have a great soul my dear!!! I just would have loved more response on this issue. I know the "macho mind" may interfere with this subject, but it is so good to talk about it....as I said, the gentlemen can enter as anonymous and share their stories.... I will tell one more here regarding my ex husband...he was so jealous I could not talk to any man in the grocery stores or the mail man or anything, or I would get it at home......he scared me to such a point that I shook like a leave, uncontrolable, many many times.....he also asked me to write down all the expenses of the house to the letter.....10 for soap, 3 for post, etc....it was torture and it took a lot of me to leave him because of the fear he imposed on me.... I am opening up publicly and I hope it helps others to do the same, it is nothing better than just express those ugly feelings...... Love to you all! LoraLee

Thanks ED. I have suffered abuse and violence and I never opened my eyes wide enough to realize how many men are in the same boat..... Thanks ED, hopefully someday you will trust someone and realize that not all women are the same garbage, as not all men are abusers..... Take good care of yourself! LoraLee (I hope to hear from every gentlemen in this forum, some of the young guys have seen the abuse in their homes.....they hide it, but it is real!!!)

Yes.....u are so right and so is Megan.... When I was younger, in my first marriage I had a brutally jealous husband....I went to the police and they told me "he is your husband little lady".....yesterday, a lovely client, tender to my heart, told me about the scandalous behavior of his wife and how much detachment he feels for every lady in the planet......so sad, you are right!!!! Hopefully we will be able in this community to help one each other to end those awful cases of abuse and empower the ones who need it!!! I am up for it and so are many ladies in our wonderful CERB community! LoraLee

I came across an issue that is very painful to every person who has suffered it in their own skin....violence.... In general one hears the stories about violence committed against women, perhaps because we ladies have endured it for many years and in some societies, as we all know, the abusive behavior, the castration of women is an everyday issue. Nevertheless I want to open a thread about violence against men. I had the pleasure of meeting some gentlemen who are dominated by their partners and can not even hold their own bank account. In my life experience I also came accross females that are belittling their partners in front of strangers in a way I could not imagine why the boys can tolerate it.... There are cases and cases....does anyone want to cooperate in this "opening up" of violence against our men? I love to read what everybody has to say about this painful situation. May be some gentlemen wont like to be identified, as well as us who suffered it, try to keep it in the shadow and wear the "mask" of "not-me".... let's open this forum to the reality of life, Violence exists and damages all of us in one way or another...... LoraLee

Congratulations Thunder!!!!! You will be following Pistol Pete soon...right? LoraLee

This was great from you Pete! I am a firm believer in "authentic friendship". I have offered it and received the fruits of it....a heart to a heart...a ind to a mind....a hand helping a hand.... The power of friendship is unbelievable.....I am a lucky lady to have many cerbites as my friends, ladies and gents....and I will always honor them with the respect of a "real friend" no BS, no trying to look nice, not just pretending to be nice....just being authentic!!!! Thanks again lovely Pete! LoraLee

Thanks for your input Scott I will call this person Susan, not her real name. Susan has quite a bit of money invested and a couple of rentals. The daughters are trying to get control on those things. She went to an attorney and was told that it is a family business. I got one Cerbite recommending me a lawyer (Charles Wagner, who especializes in elderly abuse) I phoned the man and he told me that she needs a power of attorney with one of her sisters and a restraining order to keep the daughters away) Of course Susan loves her daughters and never saw this one coming..... The lawyer said that there is only one solution to this kind of abuse, and it is to plan ahead of time what and where you would like....wills and powers of attorney and investments with irrevocable beneficiaries and all that.... Thanks again Scott LoraLee

I have a girlfriend who I know for ages and she is a super person. Her daughters are trying to claim that she is not able to make decisions or carry her own life as she has until now. Let me tell you she is only 60 years old and good looking, manages her business with no problems and makes right choices. Daughters are in their late 30's and want her to give them a power of attorney to decide on her behalf. My friend went to the doctor, got several tests and she is absolutely alright. I called the police "victims of abuse squad" and they told me she should make a lawyer aware of this situation. The daughters went to her house (they had a key) and decided to renovate some things and without my friends' permission, removed items such as dresers and area rugs and kitchen stuff. You may be thinking that my dear girlfriend had a mess of a house, right? No, she did not and because I am very protective of the ones I love , I am askinger my Cerb community to give me ideas of how to help her.... I give you thanks in advance for this one!!! LoraLee Your sexy GFE!!!:confused:

Thanks so much Mutau!!! Spike and Pete.....we'll meet soon I will be delighted to confirm dear Mutau's comments Thanks again!! LoraLee:oops:

The old story of rudeness!!!! You did well Emma! I wonder if this is a contagious manner.... I had a call from a mature gent and after asking for a million different things, he asked for the donation...I told him I was having a special due to my moving and the swiming around boxes, tape and my cats.... then in a very rude way he said "for that kind of money I would have for girls in center town" I told him to hurry up and book them fast, but he did not hear, he hung the phone as if against a wall..... May be contagious.....thanks God for the Cerbites I have met!!!! LoraLee:sm185:

Oh, la, la That is a pretty serious issue in the mind of many persons. It happens to me when I see younger man (19 to 25 or so) I guess the ladies who responded to you are all right. It is a matter of your own ethics and prejudices. Nothing is wrong and sex certainly is not dirty. Does not matter if your partner is 19 or 60. However I understand you very well... Good luck! LoraLee:rolleyes:

You are a Hot lady ALWAYS....now, do you realize how sad that guy must be by missing your appointment......????? he lost big time...your respect and your trust and much more \i do not want to be explicit about.....the poor looser.... \cheer up beautiful!!! LoraLee;)

The response was fantastic ladies and gents....at some time in my past I thought \i was the only one wishing for school to start, even if it meant "winter is close" I adore my kids and love to have them around , but \i am really distressed around people who do not raise the little people properly. Thanks to you all and, as I always say to you in person...."look forward for more" LoraLee:mrgreen:

congratulations!!!!! Cato, I knew you would make it there.... Megan all the best to you and go celebrate!!!! LoraLee

I am delighted. My kids are already over the secondary pursues, but my neighbors aren't, and even if I have a natural tenderness towards the little people, I am sick of screaming kids in the playground close to my place....exhausted of mothers and fathers arguing; totally deranged about supermarkets full of misbehaved little persons...Not talking about taking a holiday anywhere......kids are almost dictators and everything is ready to encourage them to more, and more, and more ..... I wonder....is it parents....is it the kids....is it society.....what and how this permissiveness started that parents have to fight between themselves, loose the sanity and their relationship to satisfy the cravings and ultra demands of the kids,..what happened...how....when???? I was visiting a dear friend in Vancouver and her kids have made a kindergarten of her beautiful penthouse....one can not walk anywhere without threatening to break a bone by walking over toys, crayons and play balls....not to mention the screams over "I do not want this...or that" Is any one having ideas about this? I am in my middle forties, my kids are healthy, mentally and physically, but we never ever allowed this absolute power over adults they seem to have nowadays. I am proud of my children!!! Opinions? I am looking forward to yours.... Loralee:sm185:

Great....are those the Raelians who faked the story about a baby being "produced" in a lab? I remember something about a female Doctor on TV talking about it. LL