Phaedrus

To be fair, I don't think the courts are too bad on this, because by the time something comes to court you have to prove a case and you have to have things like facts and evidence. The problem lies in the realm of politics and public opinion, where facts and evidence are absolutely not required.

You may be on to something here. I remember that horrible feeling as you go to someone's incall that you have a flashing neon sign over your head saying, "THIS GUY IS GOING TO SEE AN ESCORT!!!", and that paranoia never entirely goes away. I've learned to just ignore it and walk in like you'd go anywhere else, but it's entirely possible that it might ruin the experience for people to the extent that they're only comfortable in their own space.

Maybe time for an upgrade. I was forced to upgrade my antique flip-phone that I use for this recently... an advantage of this is that I always used to hate texting with it, but now I might be able to :)

Um... no. If you decide that you want to bail because you think it's a scam or something, that's one thing - but if you decide to cancel because you're not in the mood, you owe her a cancellation fee. As for the main point of this thread: if I'm asked to text for location the night before, I'll do that, but I'd expect a response the night before too. The provider sets the schedule for these things, and having done so she has a responsibility to keep to it. If she can't do that... well, some folks might be OK with it, but I wouldn't be.

I suspect they aren't trying to make a case. In this case the journalist probably wants a quick-and-easy here-is-a-controversy story, which means getting a minimum few facts together and pulling in a quote or two. But they're limited by space so each person quoted gets two or three sentences, which isn't really sufficient to explain things properly.

I don't think so. If she asked you to text the evening before for directions, I'd have expected to get them the same evening. Or at least a reply. 9pm isn't unduly late.

As long as you're certain that you followed the booking procedure she gave you, I'd just forget her and move on. No need to throw good money after bad. There are plenty of other providers out there. But make sure you did do what you were supposed to, because otherwise it's your own fault :)

Some people might not think it through. Some might just not understand that it's a big deal. Some people might consider the risk acceptable, compared to the certainty of having to pay for a hotel room or something. And some people might consider the risk to be part of the fun. Irrespective of the reasons, this is one of the many things that providers need to be careful about.

I see no good reason to do so, unless your new partner might find out about it via other means and you'd look bad for not having been up-front about it. As you say, a lot of people may react badly. But really... we're all adults here. You can take it for granted at our time of life that your new partner will have a past of some sort and will have done stuff with other people before you came along. What difference does it make that there was an envelope with money in it somewhere in the room at the time?

Contacting a SP is a good way to go for this. Or if you see someone advertizing as a "hybrid MA" then that's probably also what you're looking for. There are a few people who are independent who do, but if you want more than MA service you'll be paying more than MA rates.

I'm not sure when that point would be, though. Even if the relationship is over, a vengeful ex can do a lot to make life unpleasant. Why risk it?

Seems like pretty standard stuff to me. I'd expect most sites where you can post stuff to have something like this in the TOS... not that I can recall ever reading one in that much depth...

I'm not a lawyer, but you guys might want to talk to one. If they're using your name when they have no right to it, that sounds bad to me.

Yup. Charge whatever you want. You decide what your rates are... nobody else. Given that you've increased your rates by a significant amount, I'm not entirely surprised that some of your existing clients may have gone. They may have just seen the new rates and not know you'd be OK with grandfathering them in at the old one, if they never asked; even if you put that in your ads, people are sometimes terrible at reading. It also puts you into a different ballpark, and clients who are in that zone might not know you're there too, yet, and so it may take a while for them to see your ads and get you on their radar - so things may pick up again as that happens and new clients arrive. Also: you may be seeing fewer clients, but are you making less money? If you double your prices and see half as many people then you'd have the same income and more time for the rest of your life. And if a rate increase get rid of some of the tire-kickers and time-wasters, that's a win too.

I would say... just ask, but if they don't advertise it then be prepared to accept that the answer might be "No". You should also bear in mind that providers are not performing seals and don't necessarily do stunts to order, and that pressure to provide something like this may inhibit actually doing so. There are a fair number of providers who may squirt if things go well, but who won't guarantee that it will happen. And on a purely personal note, I think it's always best when you aren't expecting it. But maybe that's just me...

That wasn't the understanding I had of Prufrock's post. I read it as him being concerned that the MA might cross boundaries like this with someone else in the future. On the main topic of the thread: yes, you have every right to be concerned and to be unhappy about it, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, and victim-blaming is not something we should be indulging in.

I see no reason why not. I'm not sure it'd happen this time around, but the arc of history is heading in the right direction. I don't think either of those two has the national profile to go all the way right now... but Kamala Harris might. Mind you, twelve years ago I'd have said the same about the inexperienced and over-ambitious black guy, and look what happened to him...

I don't think LL are trying to shut down the industry. They just seem to be trying to make money...

If you head north, you've got the whole of Ottawa available to you, and it sounds like it's no further than Cornwall/Kingston (depending on exactly where you go, of course). A provider who's near the end of the 416 might not take any longer to get to.

What everyone else has said. He was looking for free stuff which you are under no obligation to provide, or crossing boundaries that shouldn't be crossed without invitation, or both. I'd just like to add that I approve of the fact that you aren't seeing him again. That seems like a very sensible course of action.

Well, here's wishing them luck... and hoping we don't have a conservative government in place a decade from now when the SCC finally rules on it.

I do, but it keeps chaning. I find one person I want to see, and then... squirrel! Also, we need a better name for it. "To do list" sounds horribly clinical to me. That's where things like doing my taxes and cleaning the bathroom go... we need someplace else for fun stuff!

No. It has never worked. Sexual desire can be destroyed entirely, as Greenteal said above, but I have never heard of any successful method of changing it to something deemed more acceptable. If you disagree, perhaps you'd care to provide an example? What, you mean like this? Is that what you consider encouraging? Do you think that was a positive contribution to the conversation? May I gently suggest that you consider practicing what you preach? Moving on... Very little, unfortunately. I can't imagine it's a subject that very many scientists would want to research in the first place, and the way it's treated by society at large almost certainly puts off many of those who might consider it. And so we fumble on in the dark... it's a real problem because if we had a better idea of what worked and what didn't, and how best we could avoid harm to kids - which I think we'd all agree is the most important objective here - we'd be much better off. Making things illegal doesn't get rid of them; it just moves the trade into the black market. 'Twas ever thus...

You could try dropping Cerbmod a PM and asking him if he'd like to create a new forum... I see no reason why it couldn't be done if we have a few people advertising there.