Phaedrus

(all participants consented to having their boobies touched, at least according to the comment posted with the vid)

FWIW, ALO's website is now advertizing Haircut + Massage at their western location, which I don't recall seeing before. I shall perhaps have to investigate... I'm getting kinda shaggy :)

I called them up the other day, Those Bastards Fat, the Guys that Weigh I hoped they'd send some fun my way To lighten up a dreary day. The guy who took my call, I swear Was very much the worse for wear. I asked what had caused this distress And why he sounded such a mess. "A quiet night at our HQ, We had a beer - just one or two. Don't you worry, have no fear We do this most nights of the year There's no cause for you to be wary - Now, what's your fancy? Bald or hairy?" I made my choice - I won't say what; They said they'd be there in a shot. So, preparation: in a trice I'd half a case of beer on ice. A pizza ordered, soon was there All was set, with time to spare. Fast-forward, then; it's five to five A truck has rattled up my drive. I noted then, with great distrust That there was much less truck than rust I wondered, with a little fear - "How on earth did *that* get here?" But that was nothing to my fright At what then assailed my sight. A bulging gut, with faded jeans (they were quite bursting at the seams) But as for hair, they are no liars: His head was as bald as his tires! I asked him if he'd come inside - Recover from his rattling ride He looked quite sore, of that I'll vouch He quickly fell upon the couch I offered him a beer, then two They quickly vanished from my view. A third was downed, and as I watched Persistently he scratched his crotch! I wondered then, with trembling knees - Was it crabs, or was it fleas? Did I really want to know? How could I get him to go? He ate my pizza, drank my beer He belched - and farted too, I fear. And then the bugger fell asleep It's quite enough to make one weep. Three hours later - that's no joke The bastard finally awoke. I hustled him out of the door And hoped I'd never see him more. My prayers weren't answered from above - "The truck won't start - I need a shove!" I donned my coat, and went outside And laboured at his rusting ride I pushed and shoved, with might and main I swear I nearly burst a vein! Finally, the engine caught My efforts wouldn't be for naught And so I sent him on his way I'd had enough for just one day. And so here ends my sorry tale; My evening with a human whale. So if you're ever tempted by The prospect of a fleshy thigh Please make sure your tastes don't lack A great love of a hairy back Stock up on liquor, and make sure Your drive goes downhill from your door!

Disagreement is not the same as negativity :) Have at it! Absolutely... I'm certainly not advocating that (quite apart from anything else, the ladies have their security to consider; I'm sure there are times with the alarm bells go off and they *have* to start thinking about that over and above anything else). And if the two of you really don't get on, then fine - but in that situation I'd have thought it'd be obvious to both parties that there was a problem. What I was really getting at was the situation - and I know it happens - where guys show up, and just decide, on first setting eyes on the lady, that they're no longer interested, based purely on looks. Yes, we can all protest that *we* would never be so shallow... but it happens; far more often than it should, I suspect. After all, ladies post pics; it's rare for one of us guys to show up with no clue about what we're about to see when the door is opened (and yes, I know fake pics exist, and this is one of the reasons they're so frowned upon). We really should have done our research. But the ladies don't get that. And still, I've never heard of a guy being told to go away because he was too fat, or too ugly, or too anything else (I've never had it happen to me, and I'm certainly no Adonis) - but I have no doubt that there are guys who bail on the ladies for equally shallow reasons, and it's those people my previous post was aimed at. The fact of being a paying customer does *not* give you a license to treat other people with contempt.

Bear Grylls??? Are you kidding me??? Bear Grylls doesn't. Sorry, but that's just the way it is.

A song from before then... but this is a somewhat later cover Siouxsie and the Banshees - Wheels on Fire

New Year's Resolution: get on and see some of the ladies who I've been meaning to see for ages. Malika was pretty high on the list :) A rhetorical question, one with no good answer: why on earth did I wait until the New Year? I'm an idiot sometimes... I had the long-overdue pleasure of meeting Malika recently. She's every bit as fascinating and quirky as she comes across here; I could quite happily have sat and talked to her all evening. However, conversation is all very well, but I wanted to find out what else she can do with her tongue.... :tongue: I don't do details, but let's just say I had absolutely no cause to regret that :) The rest of our time together was.... lots of fun. There was even time for some more conversation before it was time to go.... ...and so to next time. Trust me, I won't be waiting for another New Year's resolution this time around :)

I like Castle because he consistently manages to find something interesting and worthwhile to say. Keep it up, sir!

Black Sabbath made an album called Sabotage in 1975. Here's the lead-off track from there. Black Sabbath - Hole In The Sky http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5BCaerC8rA

I'm very tempted...

So, to all of you folks who would walk away, a question: how would you feel if you showed up to meet someone who took one look at you and decided she didn't want to see you after all? It'd hurt, no? For me, the financial side of things is irrelevant here. Cancellation fee or no cancellation fee, I'd consider it spectacularly rude to turn around and walk away.

Happy Birthday, Emily!

Far more awesome than you'd expect!

And I like RG for the same reason!

Please don't post ladies' phone numbers on the board... not good! The ladies get to give out their numbers - or not - as they wish...

And also... Cowboy Kenny, so he can post something on his excellent (and very useful) blog.

Thoroughly deserved, Pete. Awesome!

Why? It's not necessary to sleep with everyone you feel the slightest bit of sexual attraction to, and the fact that you don't need not preclude friendship.

On the subject of Hell - and since I'm in Neil Gaiman fanboy mode this evening - a short story before bedtime.

Was the Joker also a Bartender? The Stereophonics - The Bartender And The Thief