Phaedrus

When women are chattels again. The people driving this simply cannot stand the idea of women making their own decisions about their lives and bodies. Those decisions are the prerogative of your father until you're married, and then your husband. Meanwhile, the real world moves on...

Is that new? I remember hearing touring providers talk about that years ago, and saying they were avoiding Ottawa simply because the no-shows and last-minute cancellations meant that they often made a loss on the visit. It's sad, in any case.

Quite a lot of providers don't seem to know about Lyla. We also make an effort to get rid of the fakes and the scammers, which is a deterrent for some of the people posting ads on the successors to BP. Having said that, there do seem to be quite a few new arrivals since BP shut down... hopefully they'll stay! Another factor is that Lyla is fairly Ottawa-centric, with a good bit of East Coast activity... but other cities and regions are more strongly represented on other boards and so providers may choose to advertise there. Finally: there are quite a few well-established providers who are members here and simply don't advertise much; they may post an ad now and again, but don't do so regularly. That probably means they have sufficient business from other sources.

I don't actually think this is a problem. If I need a reference I tend to ask the last indy provider I saw (unless I know she isn't reference-friendly) and that usually isn't a problem, even if I've only seen her the once. Most ladies understand the value of references and are happy enough to help others with their screening, even if they don't ask for references themselves.

If you don't want to give out any information at all, that will limit who you see. However, once you're more established, you can often (but not always) provide references rather than personal information when you want to go through screening.

Well, you have to keep doing it whenever the site drops to http, which is irritating. No idea if/when it'll be fixed. You could ask Mod if you like.

There does seem to be a problem where https connections sometimes get dropped back to plain http. It almost almost happens with redirects (e.g. after you post something, there's a redirect back to the thread; or after you send a PM, there's a redirect back to your mailbox) but it can happen at any time. You can work around it by just manually putting https:// at the front of the URL in the browser.

Bear in mind that the further east you go, the harder it is for some folks to get to you. Having said that some people do very well on the far side of Orleans, so it clearly isn't a dealbreaker. Vanier might have issues simply because it has a bad reputation. I don't know to what extent that's deserved... but this is one of those cases where perception is at least as important as reality. Gloucester might be a good compromise, and may also be a convenient place for many people to stop for a break on the way to or from work... Having said that... what really strikes me about this is that you're going to be living wherever you go. I obviously can't tell you how to run your life, but if I were in your shoes I suspect I'd focus on where I actually wanted to live based on things like lifestyle, your wife's commute, affordability, etc and then go there. Clients will look after themselves :) You may well lose some when you move, but others will become available to you... and that's true wherever you go.

What itd131 said. On the privacy angle: best to assume that anything you post there is completely public, just like your website is, and limit things accordingly.

The problem with the review boards is that the people on them are... people. And people are often assholes. This is especially true when they can hide behind pseudonyms, and believe that their horrible behaviour can't or won't have consequences on their lives. This isn't by any means unique to review boards. Look at the nastier ends of Twitter, or Reddit, where things can get just as bad. If that doesn't convince you, hang out on 4chan for a bit.

Yes. Always. You're paying for her time. What you do with it is up to you.

Everyone's trying to grab BP's slice of the advertising pie. Some are making more brazen attempts to cash in than others :) They won't all survive.

Not sure what's causing what you describe, but that doesn't sound like shadowbanning to me. Shadowbanning is when there's nothing obviously wrong, but your posts don't show up in anyone else's feed (or in a reduced selection of people's feeds). It's hard to catch because obviously you can't see what anyone else sees on Twitter, and anyone can still see your posts if they go to your profile. The only real way to figure it out is to notice that you're getting a reduced number of likes/RTs/replies/whatever than you were getting previously...

To get out of moderation you have to have five posts and have been a member for... I can't remember how long, but it's a few days. Until then you can post, but nothing gets published until Mod has approved it.

This is absolutely true, but utterly irrelevant to the people making these decisions. They don't consider sex workers or their clients to be worthy of consideration. They don't care if people are left destitute or dead. And they consider themselves moral...

See also https://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=262343

Gwen is someone who I've been wanting to see for what seems like a very long time. Unfortunately she mostly works during the day, when it's tough for me to escape from the office, so I've never managed to make it happen. However, last month I noticed she was available into the early evening at Brass, and I could escape from work at a reasonable time, so... finally! Gwen is a very smart person and easy to talk to, and we chatted for a while as we had a shower to get started. After that... well, I'd heard that Gwen gives a good massage, but I still wasn't remotely prepared for what I got. She really, really knows how to get in and sort out all the bits of you that aren't quite right... including the ones that you didn't know needed anything doing. I'm pretty sure that after half an hour she knew more about my body than I do, and I've been living in it for a good few years now. After that was done it was time for the fun stuff - and you may rest assured that she's every bit as good at that too, and the fun stuff was indeed a hell of a lot of fun. And then, alas, it was time to clean up and head back to the real world. I really hope I can manage to see her again before too long.

It seems to be working better with Tor now that they've got Cloudflare out of the way :)

It may reduce it, but it won't eliminate it entirely. BBFS has been a good way to catch nasty and incurable things for a long time now, and yet clients still ask for it and some people still provide it. People just think, "It'll never happen to me!" which is fine, until they turn out to be wrong.

I think that's exactly what's happening. The problem clients are working on the assumption that because BP is gone, providers will be desperate for cash and the old rules no longer apply. We can only hope that they remain disappointed. Stay safe, ladies.

His problem is that he doesn't pay... which is why it turns out so expensive for him in the long run :)

People have already done so. https://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=262343

This is technically correct, but I don't think there's a lot of risk of Lyla being shut down. There's a lot of international politics around this, but one thing that a lot of countries are concerned about is the prospect of the US being able to run/police the Internet according to its whims. The reasons for this vary; some countries are worried about the US shutting down stuff because they disapprove of it (e.g. the current moral panic), and many others think the US is dangerously tolerant of stuff they don't like (e.g. countries trying to suppress dissidents). As a result, the ultimate responsibility for this has been moved from the US to the ITU and the UN over the last few years. The articles you've linked to are all from 2012/2013, and are therefore rather out of date. The list of domains from ICANN that you posted doesn't include the ccTLDs - those are handled by IANA and you can see them here. Neither .tv nor .cc appears to be handled by Verisign any more, probably because Tuvalu and the Cocos/Keeling Islands have decided they'd prefer to make their own decisions about what's legal and what isn't. As far as things getting shut down is concerned: AFAIK the US has only gone after sites that were operating in the US and breaking US law. This site doesn't operate in the US, and so I suspect the risks are minimal. Of course, that relies on the decisions in the US being made by people who understand the issues in play and think about the consequences of what they do, so... I could be completely wrong about the risks given the current state of affairs down there.

A couple of things on this stuff. In general, pointing people to external sites is frowned upon, but right now I think it's reasonable to make an exception. BP being shut down is a seriously big deal for people whose livelihoods rely on it. If we want to be any sort of community at all, we probably ought to give a shit about the sex workers who are wondering how the hell they're going to pay the rent at the end of this month now that they can't advertize, and help out as we can. On what's allowed here and what isn't: this subject has come up many times over the years, but I'm afraid I'm too lazy to dig out the old threads right now. The consensus has always been that we're happy here to avoid the negativity and nastiness that goes with allowing people to say when they've had a bad experience; it often turns out that clients who had a bad experience did so because they were assholes, and sorting out the bad client from the bad provider rapidly becomes tiresome. There are other boards that exist for people who want that, and to be honest I don't see what we'd gain by turning this board into a clone of those. The general quietness here had a lot to do with C36; we lost a lot of regular posters around that time and many more are still around but mostly don't post any more. There isn't much we can do about that; people will come back eventually. What will really bring people back is interesting and worthwhile threads and conversations about things that inspire people to join in. On getting banned: I think most of us have managed to mess up and break the rules at some point (my record isn't clean either :) ). From what I've managed to work out, what gets people banned is persistent rule-breaking and refusing to heed the warnings from Mod, not the occasional step over the line.

Just... post stuff! Post ads in the relevant city section, join in the many threads in the Fun Stuff section or join in the debates and conversations elsewhere on the site. Do whatever you choose!