Phaedrus

And with particularly good timing: https://gizmodo.com/how-facebook-outs-sex-workers-1818861596

She seems to be independent again. Her twitter is at https://twitter.com/SexiiHope97 and that may be the best place to keep up with her...

This point about Facebook is really important. There's some stuff about you that you really don't want to be harvested into the cloud and used to suggest purchases, or push ads, or suggest new friends. It's not just FB; a lot of apps do this, and it's very hard to know which ones or what they're hoovering up. So you don't have a phone at the moment? That changes the calculation... although I confess I'm not sure of the implications. If your SO is with one of the big providers then there's probably a good reason to go elsewhere: it's cheaper!

I've been to quite a few of the CERB socials, back when they used to happen. I've never had any issues with either stray pics (everyone should be aware of this, and you don't generally get people taking pics at all), and I've never met anyone I know from elsewhere.

FWIW, I get the impression that the question of how and when to have the "Actually, I'm a sex worker" conversation with a new partner is one that people agonize over, and there may well not be any good options. If she has it too early then she risks too many people knowing, greater risk of being outed, and all the consequences Cat described. But leave it too late, and the fallout can be worse if it goes badly... and there's always the risk of it being discovered by some other means. There really isn't a good option, and it isn't at all clear to me which is least bad.

Chipping in late, but... I'm sure you could do a lot worse than seeing a professional. The v-card is something that people can get really hung up about, and if it gets to the point where the fear that you don't know what you're doing is going to impact your ability to meet or become more intimate with someone in civilian life, dealing with that is probably a good idea. I'd say: do what you think is right, and what you're comfortable with - because if you aren't OK with it, it probably won't be good. And be honest with whoever you see about your age and circumstances - things will be better if she knows what to expect. And bear in mind that "saving yourself" for someone in real life may not be all it's cracked up to be. Not everybody's first time is all rainbows and unicorns.

I'm not sure what agencies do. It probably varies. Some indies get tested regularly and are outspoken about it; others... maybe not. And bear in mind that a test is only ever a snapshot at a particular point in time. Ultimately, you never really know, and you have to decide what level of risk you're OK with. We all put a lot of faith in latex membranes :) The only thing I can say for sure is: DEFINITELY don't ask about this at the start of a session! It's probably a great way to really annoy her. If you have concerns, don't book.

Glad you're free! But your post reminds me of a very old bit of wisdom, that I'm sure a lot of folks here will appreciate: paying for sex is cheaper than not paying for it :)

From what I've heard, being clean-shaven is great, and so is properly-groomed facial hair. What tends to limit things is scratchy stubble, or a bird's nest.

The Ottawa recommendations section is a good place to look. https://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=125

On burner phones... it's a good idea to bear in mind what you need it for and who you need to keep it secret from. I'm assuming that most people here are ordinary folks who just don't want to have very awkward conversations with family members. For that, you don't need to outwit absolutely everyone; as long as you can avoid an obvious paper-trail and keep the phone itself hidden, you should be OK... and paying cash for an unlocked phone, a SIM card and account top-ups should be enough. Hell, if you're buying from the likes of Petro-Canada or Staples, just buy some gas/office supplies at the same time and throw away the itemized receipt. If you happen to be a high-level politician or government person who might be targeted by hostile intelligence agencies for blackmail, or a prolific criminal who may be the subject of police investigations... well, you'll have to work a little harder.

Better yet, if you want to use someone as a reference, have the courtesy to drop her a line and ask first. That way she'll be expecting the inquiry when it comes, and she'll know who's being asked about...

For anyone who's interested: an old thread, but it gives you some idea of what can be done. https://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=66258

What backrubman said. It makes no difference to me. The ones who don't ask for references probably have their own methods of screening, which may or may not be obvious to the client.

Who the hell goes to the bathroom without their phone these days? In fact, what on earth did we do in bathrooms before we all had cellphones?

I have no personal experience with this, and IANAL, but one thing I've heard/read about is that it's very useful to keep a log of all interactions with this person. It's all very well saying he turned up at her house/work multiple times last week, but if she can give dates and times when he was there and grab a pic on the cellphone without him noticing it may well be very helpful down the line if/when it actually comes to putting together a legal case against the stalker. Same with calls, emails, texts, etc. In a similar vein, it might be worth her letting her cellphone provider know about the issue and asking them to keep call/text logs for longer, too, so that they'll be available as evidence if need be. Or asking for copies if that's possible. Even if she never answered the phone, being able to demonstrate that he made X calls and sent Y texts in the space of a week is powerful evidence of unreasonable behavior, and evidence is the most important thing the police and courts need in order to do something useful to help. Similarly, it might be useful for her to keep a diary of the effects on her. Saying, "I'm losing sleep over this" is not as good as, "Here is a record of every time I woke up at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep because of this".

This is one reason why it's good to get a burner phone for illicit activities such as this. I have one, and it's permanently turned off unless I'm actually using it... so this kind of thing simply wouldn't be a problem. Reputable providers also understand that situations like this are a problem, which is why they won't respond to a text if they don't see it within some time limit (an hour or, maybe). Of course, sometimes they then get crap from clients because they didn't respond at all... It's often good to say something like, "Please don't respond if you don't see this before 7", or "Safe to reply until 8:30" or something - that way there's no doubt on either side.

Anna arrived at Brass Club a few weeks ago. I noticed when she arrived - I'm not sure quite what it was, but something about her online presence just made me think, "Yes..." Life got in the way, as it sometimes does, so fast-forward a bit and imagine me walking through downtown Ottawa, cursing the fact that I'd parked a few blocks away on the wettest day since Noah built the Ark. It was worth it, though, when I was shown into the room to meet Anna. The door closed, and a few seconds later I was definitely thinking, "YES". And that was before I'd even managed to get as far as taking my jacket off... You probably won't be too amazed to hear that we did get the jacket off me pretty soon after that, followed by everything else. Some soapy fun in the shower was followed by a lot of slippery fun on the massage table (lots of oil, even more enjoyment). There was time for me to return the compliment and give Anna a massage, which was almost as much fun as what had happened previously, before it was time to head for the shower again and wash off all that oil. There was even time for conversation at various points during my visit (although, to be fair, I was far too distracted for that at other times). Anna seems to have been at the head of the queue when both brains and looks were handed out, so you won't be disappointed on either front. Alas, our time together ended all too soon... but there will be other times. Soon.

I had the pleasure of meeting Mia recently. She has an incall in a convenient location, and I think it's nice inside too... but I'm not really sure on that, because once I arrived I really didn't spend a lot of time admiring the decor :) I was swiftly distracted, undressed, and then led into the shower, where the fun continued... And so to the massage table, where a very nice massage gradually worked its way into a fantastic conclusion to my visit, done a bit differently to how most MAs do things. But you'll have to go and see Mia for yourself if you want to know what that is :) Rest assured, it's worth doing so.

I must admit, I find that rather odd. She, presumably, has other patrons; does she nevertheless expect you to see only her? I've never had any pushback from anyone on not seeing them for a while, or for seeing other people; most people in this industry seem to understand that making your clients feel like crap is a good way to lose them entirely.

I've never heard of a SP having an age limit at the top end. There are some who won't see younger guys, however, as they're too much hassle. I'd have thought that most of them would be more than happy to meet you. If you're worried about the age gap, maybe go for someone who's a little older herself...

A proxy server or VPN is your friend for working around this sort of thing.

And there's some screening already done, right there :) The mere fact that you have a website makes this possible. Unless you're *very* good at SEO, having a website won't remove the need to advertise. It does mean you have the space to set out the answers to these common questions (and maybe mention that some won't be answered at all), which will probably help somewhat... although it's clearly not a silver bullet by any means.

Yep. Brass Club and CMJ have a single rate, which you can see on their websites. Other places often have a separate door fee + tip, which adds up to about the same amount.

This sort of thing really annoys me. It particularly annoys me that the guys who do this either don't know or don't care how much they screw things up for the rest of us. I know that Ottawa used to have a bad reputation for no-shows, and some ladies stopped visiting as a result. I'm not sure if it still does or not.