Phaedrus

I barely look at them at all. Half the time I forget they exist (the site's design doesn't make them immediately obvious, nor which ones have unread content) and the rest of the time I've probably spent enough time on the forums.

I think you're conflating two situations here. There's also an issue with visibility. The ladies (and guys) to whom the new laws make no difference are the indoor workers, especially the independent ones, and their clients. They can still meet and have fun much as they did before. Different aspects of what they're doing may now be technically illegal, but that makes no difference. There are inconveniences (advertizing has become trickier, as has screening) but these can be worked around, especially by an established escort. We hear a lot from those people here, because those people make up the bulk of the population of this board. The harm, as with most laws like this, is visited primarily on those without the resources to work around the laws; in particular, the street workers. I don't suppose advertizing is an issue for them, but screening is another matter entirely; the new laws have made potential clients more nervous, which makes it that much harder for the street worker to make sure she's not getting into a car with the next Robert Pickton. The sex-work organizations are far more cognizant of these problems than the likes of us; in particular, we don't hear from the people most affected by the new laws because they don't post here. I am also unwilling to call it. This will play out over years, not weeks or months. I do not see this, particularly. Sure, there were changes when the new law went into effect, and adjustments will continue to be made, but I don't see anything major. LE continue to do occasional sweeps to generate some headlines and convince the pearl-clutchers that Something Is Being Done, but they did that with the old laws too. There's a lot of bad jobs out there. What you're talking about here is less sex work in particular, and more wholesale changes to society. It's time to make a confession: I'm guilty of exploiting someone else's economic circumstances. I pay a woman, on a regular basis, to do something that I'm ashamed to say I just can't face doing for myself, and which I'd certainly never do for anyone else unless I were truly desperate. I don't know whether she enjoys it, or whether it's what she wants to be doing with her life; I don't know how much of the money I give her she keeps and how much goes to the guy who I call to arrange her visits. She cleans my house.

Congratulations, Boomer!

What annoys me is the myth that addicts, trafficking victims, assholes and predators are the sum total of this industry, or even a majority. A dark side that exists? Absolutely. A significant problem? For sure. The whole story? I still maintain that's crap. Unfortunately there's a significant abolitionist lobby dedicated to propagating that particular lie, and historically they've been ahead of the pro-sex-work organizations in terms of audience and mindshare. But as I said, that's changing, slowly. This is true, but that doesn't mean these things don't happen, or even that they aren't common. It just mean that society doesn't know what's going on. Also true, but it won't happen on its own. That's why the pro-sex-work organizations are so important. But that doesn't mean these stories are the mainstream; all the documentaries prove are that they exist. So why don't we get documentaries about the good stuff and the happy people? Two reasons, I think: the abolitionists have a lead in their propaganda war, and more importantly, a documentary about happy people who are content with their lives makes for really boring television and nobody would watch it. Netflix and cable companies exist to make money; boring documentaries that nobody will watch will get canned. Only if you're trying to do the abolitionists' work for them. What should get the spotlight is the truth, not the outliers that tug at the heartstrings. Alas, the truth is often rather dull as well as being hugely detrimental to the abolitionist lobby's goals, so it gets overlooked. Where to start with this? First: what most sex-work activists are arguing for is not legalization, but decriminalization. There's a big difference. As for the pimps... sure, perhaps they're excited by the prospect of coming out of the shadows, but I'm not sure they've thought this through. They're successful at the moment precisely because of the criminalization of the industry, which has two huge consequences; it keeps many potential entrepreneurs out, thus removing competition for the pimps; and it keeps the women working for them scared to go to anyone who might help them improve their situation. As soon as the industry is either decriminalized or legalized, these advantages vanish; other people will come in to set up agencies and brothels that will give the escorts somewhere else to work, and women who are abused or coerced will be far more willing to report that to LE now that the threat of being prosecuted themselves has been removed. It's not about sweeping anything under the rug; it's about making life better for everyone, especially those who most need it. I fail to see the relevance of this to the present conversation. We're talking about sex work. Nobody has proposed raping children. You could probably get away with throwing out a red herring like that on an abolitionist forum; here, you'll be asked to explain yourself. And thus do a few bad apples screw things up for the majority of decent people. Life is like that.

At the risk of going all Debbie Downer on you... I'm going to anyway. I think that society's current expectations of clients are very low, but this is profoundly connected to society's impressions of sex workers. Unfortunately, the average person's vision of a sex worker is probably very negative. She might be a drug addict working for her pimp/dealer, or a trafficking victim at the mercy of the gang that got her into the country, but the general impression is of someone who is at the mercy of a person (or people) who control her activities, income, and entire life; she's turning tricks for their benefit, and she'll never see any of the proceeds. And that's before you even consider the idea that she may be underage... long story short; she's desperate, on the fringes of society, and she'll do what it takes to earn a few bucks to get her through the next day. That, in turn, feeds society's opinion of the client; he's a guy who just wants to get his rocks off. He doesn't give a damn about the well-being of the provider he sees; he doesn't care where the money goes. And he doesn't care that the girl sucking his cock may be, in the eyes of the law, a child. Society expects him to take what he can get; if he can, he'll rape a provider if he thinks he can get away with it. Long story short: he's an asshole, exploiting the vulnerable, and society expect him to behave as such. Now, everyone reading this post knows damn well that the impressions I've just outlined are absolute crap, and are in no way representative of this industry. Most of the ladies involved are doing exactly what they want to be doing, including a lot of the ones who have entered the country illegally. Most of the clients are, whatever their tastes in terms of age, not looking for someone under the age of majority; most of us would care if we met someone who we felt was being coerced in any way, and a lot of us would make an effort do something about it. Most of the ladies are not on drugs. Most of them are not under the control of anyone, even if they do choose to work for an agency. And most of us are also aware that not all sex workers are female, and not all clients are male. All of these things are... things that society as a whole doesn't get. The fundamental problem is the invisibility of the industry as a whole. I suspect that almost every adult in the country knows folks who are involved in this industry, as either clients or providers; they just don't know it, because none of us have neon signs on our foreheads. These things are changing, slowly; I've noticed over the past few years that sex workers' organizations have become more visible and have begun to get their message across in the mainstream press. This is a long, slow task (think of turning around an oil tanker) but they've made a good start, and people are - slowly - beginning to notice, and get their heads around the idea that there are a lot of sex workers out there who are strong and independent people who are doing exactly what they want to be doing. Clients are still much lower profile, despite being far more numerous, but I hope that will change. The recent changes in the law were designed in part to inhibit that, but I'm optimistic that eventually, reality will shine through. It'll be a long fight, and like many of these fights it'll take a generation or two and the road will be far from smooth. They say that a lie can run around the world before the truth has got its boots on... but when the truth starts kicking, the game's almost over. We'll get there.

Thanks for the clarification. I think that the implications of your original post were a little ambiguous, and it's a good thing that we've got it sorted out.

I don't know how much effect the new laws have had. Bear in mind that many clients aren't on the boards, or don't read more than the ads; from talking to some ladies, it seems like there's a large majority of clients who have no idea that the old laws were, or that there has been a change. Also: don't underestimate seasonal factors. In January, everyone gets the credit-card bills from Christmas, and suddenly a lot of folks have a bit less disposable income. And then people have taxes to worry about. From what I've heard, January is reliably slow, and it takes a month or three for things to pick up. Trust me, I'm doing what I can.... obviously this is purely out of concern for other peoples' welfare, and nothing to do with the fact that it's awesome :)

Okay, I have a question here. What's with taking the guts out of the chillies? The pith I can understand, but the seeds are where the zing is... (And for those who don't know - MrT is a far better cook than I'll ever be, so don't take my questions amiss...)

That's a great idea. And frat-boy jokes aside, the Nevada folks really ought to be casting their net wider. The porn-star wannabe "reviewers" are all very well, but how much to they reflect the business's typical client? I'm no expert on this, but I can't help feeling that the brothel's number one employee is not the girl who can put on a good show with a professional stallion, but the girl who can make the average guy feel like a professional stallion. They're very different skills.

I had no idea I needed this, until I saw it: a list of the world's volcano webcams. http://www.wired.com/2015/04/worlds-volcano-webcams/

Many happy returns, RG! Hope you're doing something fun to celebrate :)

I take your point that the presentation of a website is separate from the content. However, that the look and feel of a website (or product, or whatever) is also covered by intellectual property law in many jurisdictions, and ripping it off is just as illegal as stealing pictures or text (if perhaps somewhat harder to prove). I don't see how stealing that is any more ethical than stealing anything else.

Keep an eye on the ads that the spas post and on their websites. They aren't kept secret.

Can't help you with specifics, alas. The Fetish, etc forum may be a better place to ask. Here's a couple of threads to get you started, but there's probably more... https://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=201939 https://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=188274 Quick tip for the quieter forums: at the bottom of the page there's some display options, and one of these controls when older threads don't get displayed in the forum index. May be worth using.

You could always refer them to http://critiquemydickpic.tumblr.com/ in the hope of improving the quality of future offerings... :)

There's a fine line between touching up photos to remove temporary blemishes, and going far enough that it might be considered deceptive. Unfortunately, we all have different opinions about what's fair and what's not. Remember also: it's not just about editing the pics after they've been taken. Even if you do nothing, lighting and angles and posture and clothes can do a huge amount to change the way you look. Have a quick look at this if you want an example; there are plenty of similar articles about before-and-after shots if you search around a bit. Lots, apparently. How else do you explain the success of Lululemon?

Yep. If everyone does this then before long nobody will be doing it, because your local shop won't be there any more. We'll just have to read the reviews, order online and hope for the best. And have fun returning it when it doesn't work... :)

For me, one of the attractions of this is that I can see a variety of people. Older or younger, taller or shorter, tattooed or not, boobies as decreed by nature or constructed by a surgeon, blonde or brunette or redhead... it's all good. The one thing that I really want is someone that I get on with and like spending time with. And so when someone who I already like does something a bit different... what's not to like?

I'm home from work. It's been a long day. I need something to... improve things. so I log on to everyone's favourite board and... look what's in the shoutbox! I'm reminded that I haven't sampled the delights of Emily's massage skills yet, although I've been meaning to for what seems like ages. And since I'm tired and lazy and feel like letting someone else do all the work, there's only one thing to do! A couple of emails and texts and a short drive later, and I'm cursing the weather as I walk to the door. Five minutes later, that's all forgotten because I'm sitting on a couch chatting with a lovely lady who's wearing significantly less than me. I'd forgotten how smart and easy to talk to Emily is; the conversation just flows without effort, and soon (and with a similar lack of effort) I'm lying down and enjoying the feeling of Emily's hands working out all the day's tension. Her massage skills are very good; a nice mix of firmness and gentle, teasing touches, with gradually less firmness and more teasing, and eventually the teasing gives way to... not teasing any more :) At this point, my friends, my story ends... you'll have to use your imaginations to work out how it ends. I'll give you a hint - all that stuff about the long day and the freezing weather was utterly forgotten by the time I walked out of Emily's door with a smile on my face. I have a feeling I'll be walking back through it before long.

I've certainly heard of people doing this, so it's not completely out of the question. I suspect it's more common once you know each other... having to hope you're sliding in next to the right guy in the bar based on a description could make for some awkward situations :) Bear in mind also that some ladies may not be comfortable doing this at all. I don't suppose there's any harm asking, provided you're prepared to take "no" for an answer with good grace.

Slight hijack... for those guys who don't feel inclined to leave extra in the envelope for whatever reason, writing a reco usually seems to be appreciated. It helps the rest of us out, too :)

Nope. They propose to oppress the anti-choice folks to draw attention to the fact that what they're doing *is* oppression. I suspect many of them don't understand this. The same way that going through with a pregnancy you don't want is an alternative to abortion, I guess. That is to say, a really bad one.

Obviously I don't know, having never been on that side of things, but... I think the biggest difference is that an independent lady is running her own business. That means she has to do all her own screening, advertizing, marketing, and everything else. It means she may miss appointments because she can't always answer the phone. An agency may be better for someone who's intermittently in and out of the industry. But on the positive side: she's in complete control of who she sees and when; she's in control of how she markets herself; and she gets to keep all the money she collects, set her own rates, make her own rules, and probably some other things too. Which side of the equation comes out on top is an individual decision. The same answer isn't right for everyone.

You can if you get a VPN service :)

I drink beer and eat burgers. Round is a shape :)