Phaedrus

The only time I've heard of even a partial success was someone who used a DMCA notice to get her photos removed. But the rest of it remained, alas.

That's fair enough. What it comes down to as much as anything is how much you really *want* to keep him, and there will always be a limit.

Thanks for the update! Good to know that things are on the road to resolution, one way or another. It sounds like you've handled it pretty well. One further bit of unsolicited advice: I think it's great that he's asked you to send him an email that he can show to the wife/MIL. It might actually be worth sending two; one for just him that accurately reflects the situation, and another than he can use for domestic propaganda purposes (you might want to leave some stuff out of the second). I'm speculating here, but it's possible that the wife/MIL could react badly if they knew he'd told you what was going on. Also, that second one could be repeated/reinforced if he needs it. What might happen is that he'll be OK for a bit until the shock wears off, and then he'll be asked to do "just one little thing", and then another, and before you know it he's right back where he is now. If he needs more ammunition to get them off his back again, let him know you can supply it :)

I think most SWs who request deposits have a discreet email for the purpose, although I'm not sure if they're all stereotypically guy-ish things like cars and sports :) But they understand that many clients have to avoid anything that might look suspicious.

Definitely! It's great to have some light shed on this. Thanks for doing it, Char!

Good to see you, Cato! Happy New Year to all!

This. I *really* wish everyone could magically be made to understand this. The problem is that trafficking stories that involve things like the agriculture or domestic services industry don't get anything like the attention, because... sex sells, I guess. Anyways, another awesome interview! Thanks!

I'm no expert in employment law (or management, for that matter). But... First thing to do is talk to them. You have to let them know that their performance is way below expectations, tell them what you expect, and between you come up with a remediation plan to get them doing what you need from them. And in that conversation you also need to make it very clear that this is the beginning of a process that, if it doesn't result in improvement, will result in them losing their job. And keep a record of that conversation, and send a summary/minutes of it to them afterwards so that they have a record of it too. It may be that there are good reasons for their problems as Greenteal mentioned, and this also gives them a good opportunity to tell you that (and you should perhaps ask, so that they can't claim they were never given the chance to tell you...) It sounds like you've done a lot of this informally already - the point here is to kick off a formal, documented process. With luck, that will be enough. If not, I'd suggest you get professional advice on employment law to see what you need to do to fire someone for cause. It's doable, but there's a process to follow - you may have to give people formal verbal and then written warnings, and you'll have to document what they're doing wrong and give them an adequate opportunity to correct the issue. But you'd need advice from a lawyer on this one. You might also want to think about hiring someone to "help" your problem employee with their work, with a view to that person becoming their replacement if need be. You might then be able to make the problem employee redundant as part of a formal layoff (even if it was a layoff of one) which probably doesn't require the same level of formal process to do it. But again, you'd want someone who actually knows employment law in your jurisdiction to advise you on this. HTH. Good luck!

If you just want to meet one provider, a lot of them already have offerings for online dates/services. If the person you're interested in doesn't, you can always ask!

Yep, great interview. Thanks, Adriana!

Yup. This is simply about the people who want to be in charge having decided that they don't like this, and they want it shut down. It's about power. They give absolutely no fucks about anyone being abused or exploited or anything like that. The real problem here, IMO, is the immense power wielded by Visa and Mastercard. If those two companies shut you down, it becomes almost impossible to run a business online. It happened to Backpage, and before that Craigslist removed all SW ads in record time when they came under pressure. Now Pornhub is gone. Who's next? Given that LeoList has largely replaced Backpage, I can't help but think it's probably quite high on the list of targets. In the long run what we really need is a much more diverse financial system, so we don't have these chokepoints where pressure can be successfully applied. But I have no idea how you'd set that up; it takes a long time for new players to gain the trust of the market...

But starting a new thread for a more specific subject is also absolutely fine.

Coming late to this one, but for me it's definitely a general "Are we going to get on?" sort of thing. I want to see someone that I'm going to enjoy spending time with, and who hopefully won't consider spending time with me to be too much of a hardship.

Screening doesn't have to compromise your anonymity. A lot of screening is simply done on the basis of your behaviour during the booking process. Did you contact the lady using the method of contact she specifies, or did you call her text-only number? Did you use complete sentences, or did you just say, "Rates? Location?" Did you give her reasonable length of time to reply, or did you get abusive after a whole two minutes of waiting? Did you ask questions that are clearly answered on her website? Are you carrying on the conversation and tire-kicking without ever actually booking? If she asks you to confirm the day before, did you do that? All of this (and more) matters, and none of it identifies you in any way other than "not an idiot or an asshole", which you can hopefully live with. When it comes to references, that still doesn't *have* to compromise your anonymity. Admittedly, this bit is harder if you're new to all this and don't have a track record... but there are quite a few providers out there who don't ask for references (although they still screen, as above) and who will give you references in turn later on. And references can be given without real names being attached... if your handles/email address/phone number line up then the people giving and receiving the reference know they're talking about the same person, which is what matters.

Great interview! Thanks for doing it, Emily! One other thing... I get where you're coming from, but really, it's fine. Nobody expects exclusivity here - you know that she sees other clients, and she knows that you see other ladies. I've never encountered a provider who had issues with anyone else I'd seen. And most ladies are quite happy to give a reference - just make sure you're asking someone who you've seen relatively recently (that person you saw once, three years ago, isn't going to remember you)... and I think it's polite to give the person you're asking a reference from a heads-up first.

For me... getting your social life sorted out. Figure out who you're going to trust and be in a bubble with, if anyone. For everyone else in your life, figure out how to hang out safely. Realistically that means small groups and outside, which has been OK over the summer... so now I'm trying to work out how to keep seeing people outdoors over the winter. Because if I have to stay indoors until the end of March, I'll go nuts.

Thanks, Notch! Great interview!

Never seen that one before, but it sounds suspicious as hell. Real providers need cash, because they need things other than games (like food, rent, etc). Anything else is probably a giant red flag. Gift cards are fine for gifts, but not for payment.

Happiness is inversely proportional to Facebook use.

Might be worth kicking off an Instagram account/follow thread, similar to the Twitter one we already have... although I have no idea how many folks are there.

You mean the sex workers, or the politicians? :) Agree with the consensus - it's unlikely the next administration will do much with sex work. There will certainly be no legislation in the short term given the probability of a Republican majority in the Senate, and even if that didn't exist I suspect they'd want to spend their political capital elsewhere. The only thing that might happen is that Federal LE might be told to deprioritize the moral panic a bit, but since most of the enforcement is at state level in any case I don't know how much difference that will make in real terms.

I remember that! It was awesome :) It's a real shame all that stuff is on hold these days... it would have been great to see everyone! Up her back? Yup. Right. We believe you :)

In some places this is already happening. OIC in Ottawa sounds similar to what you describe, if not entirely the same. I think there's a Montreal collective as well, but I don't know much about that.

Awesome interview! Thanks!

Great interview! Thanks, Waterat!