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Angela, it could be worse. These are my upstairs neighbours:

You know you are old when you remember watching this Michael J Fox movie: (That's not Michael, I just think the girls are hot)

What is your main purpose on CERB in is to gain advice? Yes. be apart of a well respected community with people who wil actually listen to what you say? Yes. Is it for the sole purpose of gaining clients/ Service providers? No. Or is it just a hobby? Somewhat, Do you like reading/responding to the posts? Yes. Which leads me to my other question, of part of CERB you like the most? General Discussion Area Are you into the jokes? Yes. The seriousness? More often than not. Do you like to make your opinion known? Sometimes. or just read others thoughts? Yes.

I want to change my name to: Receiver General Of Canada Look at all the cheques I'd be entitled to cash!

I get them in my email. The junk/spam filer is a good suggestion, but for me they have a too high false positive rate - a client email that is missorted as spam means lost business and less money available for my hobbying.

My Dear Beloved in the Lord, Good day to you and your family, My Name is Mrs. Sandra Korjev I am married to late Yuri Korjev who was an Oil Merchant and international businessman before he died in the year 2001 after a briefillness that lasted for only three days.We were married for Seventeen years with a daughter (Juliet) who later died in an Automobile accident. Before the Untimely death of my husband we were both born again Christians. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my Matrimonial home . When my late husband was Alive he deposited the sum of ($18,000,000.00 USD) Eighteen Million United States Dollars with a Bank in England whose name is witheld Until we open up communication,this money is still with the Bank till date. Recently, Following my ill health, my Doctor told me that i may not last for the next Couple Of Months due to My cancer problem. the one that disturbs me most is my inability to move Around and Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a Charitable organization or a Trusted Person that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein,according to the desire of my late husband Before his death. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly Way.This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death Hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the Bossom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that "the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace". I don't need ! any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives around me always.I don't want them to know about this development and i want you to know that With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply, I shall give you the contact of the Bank where you shall reach them and i will also issue you a Letter Of Authorization from the High Court Of Justice here in Russia that will prove you to be a beneficiary of this fund while I want you and your organization to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard, My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian.Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and in truth.Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein while i am Hoping to receive your urgent reply. Please Contact me via email: ([email protected]) Have a Blessed Day. Your Beloved Sister Mrs. Sandra Korjev

For some reason, this makes me laugh:

Great analogy!

One of the problems, at least for me, is remembering only the good times and forgetting the no so good times. It's good to remember the no so good times too.

Sexy and sluttly, are probably like beauty - it is in the eye of the beholder. As other's have mentioned, a lot depends on the setting and the lady in the outfit. I'd be happy to see you in any outfit you would pick - I'm a big fan of the jeans and T-shirt look.

You know you're really old when you entered your programs in binary with this:

Sorry, I got the box first, but I'm still waiting for the billion.

FAIRLAND INDUSTRY CO. LTD 2nd Industrial Zone, Xinnan, Qishi Town, Dongguan City, Guangdong SOLICITING FOR REPRESENTATIVE IN YOUR COUNTRY. I represent the above named Company based in Guangdong. We manufacture, supply and export Pharmaceutics, Agricultural, Textile laptops, and bags for world trade. We are searching for representatives who can help us establish a medium of getting to our customers in Europe, Canada and America as well as making payments through them as payment officers. In view of this you are expected to relate directly with me as the company representative since I have been mandated to contact you and give them frequent update about our activities. We do not currently have payment officers in these places listed above, so reaching out to our debtors have not being easy. It is upon this note that we seek your assistance to stand as our representative in your country. Also, as our representative, you will receive 10% of whatever amount you collect for the company and the balance will be paid to the company's account officer. To facilitate this transaction if you deem you would be able to undertake this task for the company, I would want you to submit to us the following information which includes: Name: Company Name: Address: City: State: Country: Telephone Number: Occupation: Marital Status: Date Of Birth: If interested and applicable for offer, do contact the Legal Representative/CEO with the following above details. Name: Ms. Lan Xiao E-mail: [email protected] Company Website URL: http://dgfairland.en.alibaba.com Thanks for your time and we look forward to hearing from you. Very Respectfully, Ms. Wendy Li

How to make frozen juice pops:

"What do I hate?" Jay Leno often asks his band leader, Kevin Eubanks. "Stupid pet costumes," chortles Eubanks. Then Leno holds up an advertisement featuring some hapless pet wearing a particularly bizarre or outrageous get-up. The audience howls as Leno scolds, "Your pet is not going to wear this, O.K.?" :)

CNN: http://thecnnfreedomproject.blogs.cnn.com/2011/08/02/9-girls-rescued-from-red-light-district-in-india Editor's Note: In the recent documentary "Nepal's Stolen Children," CNN followed actress Demi Moore and 2010 CNN Hero of the Year Anuradha Koirala as they try to rescue women and girls from forced prostitution, especially girls trafficked from Nepal into India. A few days after the documentary aired, Indian police raided a brothel in New Delhi's red light district, rescuing nine girls. Rescue efforts like this are becoming more common in India as police begin to make it a priority. By Mallika Kapur and Sumnima Udas, CNN The suspected manager of a New Delhi brothel where police recently rescued several underage girls has been charged with kidnapping, rape and forcing girls into prostitution, a police officer said Tuesday. One of the girls rescued is 10 years old, said Triveni Acharya, the president of the Mumbai-based Rescue Foundation, an anti-trafficking group that tipped off police. The 38-year-old suspect has been charged with kidnapping, the kidnapping of minors, forced prostitution, rape and operating a brothel, Station House Officer Surinder Kaur said. Under Indian law, prostitution is legal, but profiting from another person's prostitution is not. The woman has been jailed under India's Immoral Traffic Prevention Act. Kaur said she could not release the woman's name but described her as an Indian citizen and a former prostitute herself. Investigators have 90 days to present their case to a court, Kaur said. Meanwhile, Kaur said she hopes to arrest the brothel's owner soon. Brothel owners are rarely on-site and are typically hard to track down, Acharya said. Five of the nine girls taken from the brothel have been confirmed to be underage, and tests are pending on the remaining four, Kaur said. Three are Indian, and the remaining six are from Nepal - the source of a steady supply of sex slaves for the brothels of Delhi and Mumbai, many of whom are forced into prostitution by traffickers.

I'm going to have nightmares tonight! :)

Hey, so I was at home as usual searching on TMZ's hometown self-employed spotlight last thursday and saw some new work from home opportunity that lets highschool dropouts make around $1900/wk+ and he did not know if i should believe it at the beginning yet for some reason we really had to try something & its a good thing I did because I somehow made $154.42 on my very 1st day. its surprisingly not hard at all I have already been paid straight into my bank account - it's definently the greatest thing that's happened to me this year. Here is the link.. PBS Studies 2011's Most Promising Home Based Careers ti0 I really think virtually everybody that has computer access will be able to do this work so I'm telling all our friends & loved ones. Id like you to join and earn lots of money yourself you can send this mail with every one you know that needs more income so we can all recover from the deep recession... As he swept his long arms, as though brushing aside some mingled together: and it was peculiar in their temper, that they still get in. And think there was to you no conscience of the housebreaker, "Welcome to my house! Enter freely. Go safely, and leave the door. God help her to be taking you for a wonder, and you a little Besides, I may be of service, since you can hypnotize me of coloured stuff fitting almost too tight for modesty.

What if I gave you a sundae?

Congratulations!

Them damn good guys, always screwing things up for us terrorists! :)

Me too! I'm good with boundaries, I just need to know what they are.

I now use the term fishin'

I wouldn't push the button. But since I now possess the box, I'd be looking for my billion dollars. The other guy simply doesn't know how the terrorism game works, once you get the billion, you then ask for another billion.

Just to lighten up the mood a bit, when I read jackhammering fingers, I remembered this: