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Congratulations! Your email address has won US$ 500,000.00 FROM NATIONAL LOTTERY AGENT SOUTH AFRICAN 2010 WORLD CUP LOTTERY AWARD. LOTTERY HEADQUARTERS: 31, BRITON COURT, KEMPSTON PARK, JHB. BATCH: (13/26/DC36.) FROM: SA NATIONAL LOTTERY TICKET NUMBER: 74454774 SERIAL NUMBER: 144-66584 BATCH NUMBER: BT-78474121P AWARD FINAL NOTIFICATION: We are pleased to inform you of the release, of the long awaited results of the South African 2010 World cup Bid award INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY PROMOTION held on the 11th of June 2010 at, Soccer City Johannesburg South Africa .You were entered as dependent clients with: Reference SERIAL NUMBER: 144-66584 and Batch number BT-4478474121P. Your email address attached to the ticket number: 74454774 that drew the lucky winning number, which consequently won the sweepstake in the first category, in four parts. You have been approved for a payment of $500.000 Dollars (Five hundred thousand United States Dollars) in cash credited to file reference number:IPL/4249859609/WP1.This is from a total cash prize of five million dollars shared among the ten international winners in first categories. All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 50,000 (Fifty thousand) names of email users around the world, as part of our international promotion program. Due to mix up of some names and addresses, we ask that you keep this award personal, till your claims have been processed and your funds remitted to you. This is part of our security measures to avoid double claiming or unwarranted taking advantage of the situation by other participants or impersonators; you are therefore directed to contact our agent manager immediately on receipt of this massage for quickened and urgent release of your winning fund. His contact Information is as follows: NAME: Mr. Lance Chapman EMAIL: [email protected] Phone +27794029029 (Call him now to claim your fund!! He is your agent, and responsible for the processing and transfer of your winnings to you. YOUR SECURITY FILE NUMBER IS Z-90237-Y67/U4 (keep personal) Remember, your winning must be claimed not later than (1 MONTH) from the date of acknowledgement receipt. Failure to claim your fund will be added to the next 10 Million Dollars lottery promotion. Furthermore, should there be any change in your address, do inform your claims agent as soon as possible. Once again, Congratulations. Yours Sincerely, MR PETER SMITH

If we consider it to be "Stress management training" then it's fully deductable and isn't considered a taxable employment benefit. See CRA document IT-470R for the details: http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/E/pub/tp/it470r-consolid/it470r-consolid-e.html

To quote Charlie Harper (Sheen) "I don't pay for sex, I pay for them to go away after"

They are getting very touchy about people working in the states in any profession; it's not just Mexicans crossing the border for work these days. If you are planning on making it a working vacation, you could FexEx your material to your hotel ahead of you. If you are bringing/sending anything particularly new or valuable, bring/send the Canadian receipt for it for Canada Customs on the return trip to prove that it was purchased in Canada otherwise you may have to pay duty and tax for it.

That story brought a tear to my eye.

I don't swing that way, so, no, it didn't. Who did she intend to share this with?

Where is Charle Sheen/Harper when you need him - he'd know the answer to this in a heartbeat!

This is from CNN, so of course any details that don't tell the story they want to tell have been left out.

That's right. With NAT (Network Address Translations), potentially thousands of computers, say at a large university or business, could share the same external IP address (the one that the world sees).

http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/02/16/new.york.sex.slave/index.html?hpt=T2 New York (CNN) -- A Wisconsin woman who said she agreed to cook and clean for a man she met on the internet in exchange for a free place to stay allegedly ended up as his sex slave, prosecutors said Wednesday. The 27-year-old woman met New York resident John Hopkins on the website Craigslist before spending nine days trapped in his apartment, where she claims she was repeatedly raped, according to a district attorney's statement. The woman -- whose name has not been released -- was treated for injuries at Woodhull Hospital in Brooklyn, New York. The details of her condition are not clear. Authorities charged Hopkins with rape, assault, forcible touching and unlawful imprisonment, arresting him at his Brooklyn apartment on Saturday. He is currently being held on $350,000 bail. The woman claims that she was looking for work in New York and found an advertisement that Hopkins posted on Craigslist, listing a room for rent, according to the complaint. The pair agreed that the woman could stay rent free if she cooked and cleaned for Hopkins, who then paid for her airfare to New York on February 4, 2011. Upon arriving at his apartment, Hopkins allegedly told the woman that she was going to be his slave, the complaint said. The woman claims she was repeatedly raped between February 4 and February 12, and was also tied with a rope, gagged and handcuffed to a radiator, it said. On the ninth day, she said she managed to call her mother and alert her of the alleged abuse. Police found the woman bruised and bound in Hopkins' apartment, according to the district attorney statement. Authorities said the victim was shaking and had marks on her body, according to the complaint. Hopkins is expected to appear in court Friday for a preliminary hearing. If convicted, he could face up to 25 years in prison.

WANTED ASAP: Personal Aide/Personal Assistant Hello There I'm seeking the service of a good responsible person and trustworthy in all aspect that can handle personal and business errands at his/her spare time.Someone who can offer these services:Mail services: Receive mails and drop them off at FedEx,Dhl,Ups(nothing illegal).Shop for Gifts,Sit for delivery( at your home) or pick items up at nearby post office at your convenience. Lot more at your convenience and get paid well. Kindly get back to me with resumes as soon as possible if interested.No much Education Just be smart and be honest. Skills: · Excellent communication skills, verbal and written, are a must and ability to communicate effectively to all levels of operational personnel. · Problem solving/conflict resolution and negotiation skills. · Ability to work well and excel while working with a team or individually. Benefits: ·We offer competitive salaries, depending on skills and experience. · Quality work environment. · Excellent benefits including Health Insurance . Paid Vacation . 7 Holidays a year . Work from home . Best Regards Dr.Fred Williams.

From : Mr.Holgan Jones Dispatch Manager United Parcel Service(UPS) Phone:011-234-813-4779191 Customers Service Hours--Monday to Saturday: Office Hours Monday to Saturday: Attention,Attention,Attention This is the United Parcel Service (UPS)mailing you in respect of your ATM INTER SWITCH CARD that Mrs. Monica Stewart brought to this company to be delivered to you and before protocol commence we had a disput with the (NICON)Insuarnce office about your insurance certificate but all has been settled. We are happy to inform you that your ATM INTER SWITCH CARD that contains US$1,600,000,00 dollars' is among the 24 parcel's listed which is now in our office and also with your name as the receiver despite that we lost your residential address and we request that you re-send it to this office for safe delivery of your card Without hesitation we advise you to pay the delivery fee of US$80.00 via Money Gram to our cashier 2 below payment information for immediate despatch of your parcel to your residentail address within 2days. As the sender did not pay the US$80.00 Send the Delivery Fee US$80.00 through Western Union or MoneyGram via this Payment Information below RECEIVERS NAME'''''' GEORGE EDU RECEIVERS COUNTRY'''-LAGOS /NIGERIA. TEXT QUESTION''''''''''''WHAT BATCH. TEXT ANSWER'''''''''''''''.BATCH 1 AMOUNT TO BE PAID'''''''''US$80.00 Send the payment information,the 10 DIGIT MTCN NO OR 8 Digit REFERENCE numbers immediately Yours In Service Mr.Holgan Jones Dispatch Manager

Scam of the day: Dear Email Owner, We are pleased to inform you again of the result of the Internet Promotional Draws. All email addresses entered for this promotional draws were randomly inputted from an internet resource database using the Synchronized Random Selection System (SRSS). This is our second letter to you.Your email address was selected in the Category A with Ref. Digit Code: LDI202713/IT and Ticket Digit Code: RMA78955/2011-12, and this qualifies you to be the recipient of the grand prize award sum of Two million, five hundred thousand united States dollars. The payout of this cash prize to you will be subject to the final validations and satisfactory report that you are the bona fide owner of the winning email address. In line with the governing rules of claim, you are required to establish contact with your designated claims agent via email or telephone with the particulars below: Enquiry officer: Nikola Grahl Phone: +39 3275929816 Email: [email protected] You may establish contact with the Enquiry Officer via the e-mail address above with the information's necessary: Name:, Address:, Phone:, Cell Phone:, Email:, Alternative Email:, Occupation:, Ref. Digit Code: and Ticket Digit Code: Failure to complete the claims of your cash prize after 14 days of this notice will result in the revision of award. Hence, you should commence your claims process immediately, by contacting the claims agent (Nikola Grahl) who would be guiding you through the Claims process. Note: All replies should be addressed to Mr. Nikola Grahl ([email protected]) for further information, any reply sent to other email will not be attended to. Please take note. Yours Faithfully, Elisabetta Stefano Promotion Coordinator.

Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours. Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize? Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

It does look great on you, but I'm one of those guys that prefers factory original parts and paint.

I could be wrong, but I'm 99% sure that it's multiple people (accounts) sharing the same computer that get flagged.

Quote: "Four dates 20, 21, 22 and 24, but how old are they really?" "...Date 1 is 45 ....date 2 looks young, too young .... date 4 is in her 40's......"

In the past I've interpreted "Can you please tell me where the ladies room is" as a pick-up line, but I'm just a dumb clueless guy.

If I tell you that you have a hot body, would you hold it against me? Do you want to see something swell? Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock! Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them. Am I tall enough to get on this ride? Can anyone add to the list?

Today's scam: Dear Customer, INTERCONTINENTAL LOAN COMPANY LIMITED,help you to change the way you live.Seeking for a loan with us is simple and straight forward, loans from $5,000 to $4,000,000.00 over 5 to 30 years.we make the process convenient and fast. Our interest rate is 3% APR Typical variable and this means that all of our clients pay this rate. Interested Persons should fill the information below and forward to us via E-mail : BORROWERS INFORMATION Your names ................................ Your country............................... Your address .............................. Your Age............................... Your Fax Number................... Personal number....................... Office number................................. Your occupation.......................... Your marital status ...................... Current Status at place of work......... Sex................................... Phone number.............................. Monthly Income............................... Amount Needed........................... Loan duration....................................... Brief description of individual........... Kind Regards, Mr.David Johnson Additional Comments: Today's scam: Dear Email Owner! We are pleased to inform you again of the result of the Internet Promotional Draws. All email addresses entered for this promotional draws were randomly inputted from an internet resource database using the Synchronized Random Selection System (SRSS). This is our second letter to you.Your email address was selected in the Category A with Ref. Digit Code: LDI202713/IT and Ticket Digit Code: RMA78955/2011-12, and this qualifies you to be the recipient of the grand prize award sum of Two million, five hundred thousand united States dollars. The payout of this cash prize to you will be subject to the final validations and satisfactory report that you are the bona fide owner of the winning email address. In line with the governing rules of claim, you are required to establish contact with your designated claims agent via email or telephone with the particulars below: Enquiry officer: Nikola Grahl Phone: +39 3275929816 Email: [email protected] You may establish contact with the Enquiry Officer via the e-mail address above with the information's necessary: Name:, Address:, Phone:, Cell Phone:, Email:, Alternative Email:, Occupation:, Ref. Digit Code: and Ticket Digit Code: Failure to complete the claims of your cash prize after 14 days of this notice will result in the revision of award. Hence, you should commence your claims process immediately, by contacting the claims agent (Nikola Grahl) who would be guiding you through the Claims process. Note: All replies should be addressed to Mr. Nikola Grahl ([email protected]) for further information, any reply sent to other email will not be attended to. Please take note. Yours Faithfully, Gloria Williams Promotion Coordinator.

Was that an extra or included?

Can you say "yuck"!

Since the government is on a "green energy" crusade, they want to appear green at any cost to you and me, they'd probably pay a lot!