scribbles

Mmmmmmm. Boobies. The book I'm reading actually discussed the whole tradition of wife swapping and polyamorous groups. Apparently, it first became quite the fad during the second world war, as soldiers and their wives would engage in wife swapping on base. Once the war ended, this "fad" came back with the soldiers and was expanded somewhat as groups engaged in "key parties"; the husbands would all put their house/car keys In a pile, the women would randomly select a set of keys, and whomever they belonged to would be their partner for the evening. This was back around 1953, and was a very popular practice. Sounds almost like something that could be interesting now, given the right group of ladies...

I'm really not entirely sure why people have an urge to redefine and reclaim everything. Spinner is simply a term referring to a very petite or tiny woman. Period. I don't think of it in terms of how many revolutions she would get on my small/average/equine cock. I don't think of it in terms of whether I experience whiplash as she passes. The gist is small, or tiny, and I get the point. It's not meant to imply that non-spinners are hideous or even mildly unattractive, it's just meant to convey a referential to body type. If you're not a spinner but turn heads, excellent. That doesn't make you more or less, even though you are not a "spinner". No need to "reclaim" or redefine. And as for inferring some intended slight from "almighty"... Seriously, people. It's. A. Frikken. Social. Group. Nobody is seriously trying to imply a "hierarchy," they are merely expressing a preference and predilection. I'm amazed at how much time is spent in these forums being offended by words, talking about words and pissing territorially about words.

Actually, monogamy is uncommon in nature. Sure, it happens, but in many cases males mate with more than one female. Part of this is a matter of strengthening the gene pool, as competition after insemination leads to the strongest and fastest sperm fertilizing the egg before the others. Monogamy is about possession, as rude as that sounds. The man/woman wants to keep a particular resource (emotional, sexual, whatever) to themselves because sharing brings the fear of losing the resource entirely. This is why I quite erroneously feel more comfortable sharing a partner with a woman; given that her bits are not the same as mine, I don't feel worried my partner will leave me for someone with better bits, or bit-using-prowess. Flawed logic, but I'm a flawed kinda guy. Of course, I've never been offered to participate in a polyamorous relationship (*nudge* Malika, *nudge*). ;)

I've known poly people, and I've known lots of monogamous people. I think I fall somewhere in the middle. I was married to a woman who was bi and became a dancer. Neither bothered me. Nor did it bother me that she had girlfriends, none of which I played with (dammit). Rationally, or intellectually, I don't think we are naturally monogamous. I believe you can love more than one person, equally but differently. And, I don't believe sex has to be about emotion and love, though it makes it better. I also believe one person *can* satisfy you completely, sexually. But... I also know that I'm just not evolved enough to feel comfortable sharing a partner with another man. A woman, no problem. But, a man is threatening. This is where my rational self and my lizard-brain self are at odds. And, I don't think too many women are looking for a guy who will be the only penis in her life, even though she can have all the ladies she likes.

I completely understand the emotion behind what Julia is asking, even as I disagree with what's being asked. It's sickening to think of the extreme evil people are capable of, but it's also important to remember that we are. People like Pickton are an anomalous shoot that grows in our culture, like a cancer. And, like cancer, we learn to protect ourselves and defeat it by understanding it and the circumstances in which it grows. Names only have the power we give to them. I'm not big on giving names so much power that merely uttering them is discouraged. Name the bastard. Name him and speak of the sick, depraved and hideous things he did. It's not reverence, it's not a celebration of his actions, and it's not glorifying his history. Having the courage to look past the gruesomeness of his deeds to the why, how and what went wrong robs him of the horror and shock he intended to cause. It makes him a specimen on a glass. I'm repulsed by Pickton even as I'm sure he won't be the last of his kind. And, I'm sickened by the ineptitude and willful ignorance displayed by those who should have stopped him. Let *that* come to light and reach as public an audience as possible; maybe through shame the public can learn to have more humanity towards sex workers, as unprepared as I am to trust that they will.

A somewhat difficult question to answer, actually. Whenever I'm with an attractive woman, I'm honestly interested in things going as far as possible. Maybe that's just me or my nature, or maybe it's just a guy thing. But, even knowing the rules/limits, it's hard not to think "damn I wish we could take this further." I won't say that it ever gets in the way of or intrudes on the enjoyment of what is going on, though. For me, part of the biggest preoccupation is that in sex I am at least equally and probably more interested in giving pleasure, and this is difficult in an MA scenario. I live the heat, wetness, smells and sounds of a woman enjoying herself and getting off. This is something that occupies my thoughts during an MA session because rules generally get in the way of realizing it.

Dr Phil is another finely crafted heap of steaming dung, like all the other Oprah creations. I can't stand his self righteous garbage at the best of times, so I don't expect I would like this episode much more.

I'm not sure it proves anything false. Unless we have a pre-law baseline number of of prostitutes and clients and a post-law headcount that shows fewer, all this report shows is more are being caught. There could, in fact, have been an unquantifiable decrease in the sex worker and consumer population. These statistics don't show that or disprove it either. How would anyone show a decrease in prostitution in Ottawa, or Canada as a whole? By using arrest reports, which already show a very low per capita % of the population being charged with prostitution? That's like saying that because I saw two red cars on the road today, there are more red cars being sold than before. At the same time, this is why I find any complaint that there is some sort of "epidemic" of prostitution flawed and meaningless. The method of getting to that conclusion is always anecdotal.

An interesting report, but problematic. You could assume that if the police are being asked to step up their efforts, it's because there is a greater presence of that which they are being asked to target. But, that's speculation. All the data in the report shows is that there are more cases of arrest and/or conviction for those crimes. I'm sure if LE locally were to make a more concerned effort to target prostitution at all levels, there would be data showing more arrests and convictions here too. It doesn't mean that there is an increase in the thing they are targeting, only that there are more arrests and convictions. I read a book by Katie Riophe once that made the same argument for the AIDS epidemic. Her argument was that AIDS and HIV were not spreading any faster or effecting any greater a percentage of the population, rather it was just being diagnosed and reported more than it had been previously. I'm certainly not a fan of the Swedish model, but I wouldn't take this report to be a credible or powerful slam against it. It doesn't really concretely prove that it's ineffective.

Can I just have one of the elves? Seriously? Just one? I'm not particularly complicated in my needs...

I essentially have no hair. Does this mean I'm screwed? (or, more accurately, not)

Pizza Girl from October road (Lindy Booth) Kenzi from Lost Girl. Almost my whole reason for watching that show.

Buying mistletoe is the easy part. Fashioning it into a belt buckle is far more complicated.

A wee blonde by the name of Stella used to be a favorite at the Mate, but she's been gone a long while, sadly. Also, a dancer at the Mate named Jersey that I became friends with, but she quit dancing a few years ago. Seems now a lot of the ladies are only around for a good time, not a long time, so it's hard to develop favorites. And my wallet won't let me go often either. ;)

I'm not suggest decriminalization wouldn't help to ease the stigma. I think it would, to a small extent. Borrowing (or misappropriating) a part of Nikki's point, I believe the real stigma is a culturally imposed one, which only lightly has to do with the law. We're fairly sex positive in Canada by comparison to other countries, I think, but not so far from our Catholic heritage that purchasing sexual services doesn't make the public squeamish. We do it, but we don't want to admit we do it. I think decriminalization will allow the dialogue out into the open, but I don't think the stigma will be eased that considerably. Unfortunately, if the appeal succeeds or if Joy Smith gets her way, that dialogue will be forced back into the closet.

I'll pose the awkward question: does anyone truly think that decriminalizing the sex industry will erase the stigma that causes not only SPs, but their clients, to keep their identities secret?

I fully agree with Megan and April. I also have to admit I wanted to see the pictures. She's a hottie. What can I say? Although the bum pic looks a little off. In the reflection, the camera is up and to the side a bit and it looks like she's looking at it, yet she's looking down and to the side. I dunno. A little suspicious.

I have the good fortune of having developed anxiety attacks, which generally find me at night. It's not often, or at least I haven't had one in several months, but that crap will keep me up pretty much until the sun rises. I also have periodic episodes of just straight insomnia. I feel tired, but I just can't fall asleep. That too will lead to me still being awake at sunup. They say changing rooms for a while and doing something else, like listening to music, helps. Usually just lying in bed creates tension because of the frustration of not being able to fall asleep, and that keeps you up longer. I uses to sleep like a baby every night when there was someone in bed beside me. Maybe I've just become wuss-ified.

@Nikki, actually, I have asked how to become more involved and found the reception less than helpful. I have a longstanding interest (yes, intellectually, not just the naughty bits) in this industry. I'm actually in the process of doing some independent research with the goal of writing about the industry (hence the blog in my sig). I would love for this research and whatever ability I have to usefully articulate my ideas to inform my involvement in activism and policy direction. But, so far I've been directed to the POWER web site (which I can find myself). I don't really know where to start, and the understandable lack of trust that exists in this industry makes me a little hesitant to approach SPs or clients to develop the kind of contacts my self-directed "education" would benefit from. You're right, the ladies are shouldering the bulk of the work. However, the clients sometimes just don't know where they fit in the picture.

Tapatalk is (mostly) great. Unfortunately, there are some things that you can only access from a normal computer. But, PM seems to work fine.

I was married and living in Portland, Oregon in 9/11. We slept on a futon in the living room, and I remember the phone ringing really early in the morning. I was barely awake listening to my wife answer it, but immediately understood that something was wrong. Her voice was breaking and she was scrambling to turn the TV on. I asked what was wrong, and as the TV came to life she just answered "we're at war." The images on the screen were confusing, and she wasn't talking. I saw buildings on fire, smoke, and local news scrolling along the bottom of the screen. I had no idea this was New York. I though it could even have been Portland, of all ridiculousness. It was bright and sunny out, and I looked out the patio door. It took a few minutes to work the details out, but I'll always remember those tense, panicky, confused minutes when a tragedy half a country away felt like it was right on my doorstep. For just a few minutes I felt a little bit of how terrible it must have been for those New Yorkers watching from the sidewalks.

14 months for being involved in that case? I remember when the arrests were made, reading it in the newspaper. But, 14 months for the jackass that was involved in that? From the sounds of it, the woman was the worse of the two, but frankly I think they should both be tossed in a hole for a long, long time. Sadly, this most recent case will become fodder for Joy Smith even though it has nothing to do with the "mainstream" sex workers who are interested in the Himmel decision. I hope the young ladies who became victims to this abuse are provided with the care and treatment they are going to need to have any hope of overcoming the damage done by all of this.

I've got a crush on the brunette waitress with the tattoos at the Mate. *sigh* One of my biggest strip club regrets was when I was in the US. The waitress at the club I used to go to was probably one of the hottest women I have ever seen in my life. One night, one of the bouncers asked me if I had been there the night before when they'd finally talked her into getting up on stage. He seemed pretty amused that I had missed it. I wasn't.

Sweet baby jeebus... I highly doubt anyone is looking for any kind of opinion from me, but that's rarely stopped me, so here goes. I have paid absolutely no attention to this poll. Hopefully, the ladies don't take that as a slight; I just find what ultimately equates a popularity contest unpleasant and childish, and they always generate this kind of mess. I have been on this board since my birthday, this year. A single dude wanting to enjoy his birthday likely was part of the reason for joining, but an abiding interest in the adult industry and the personalities in it was a greater reason. I joined CERB because I find the topics discussed here, for the most part, fascinating. I would gladly make friendly with any of you over a cup of coffee and just chat. Since that is rarely offered, reading the threads is the next best thing. A few of the ladies in particular have provided me with interesting reading and generated good dialogue on this board. AngelaofOttawa tops my list, but that's just because we *did* have coffee. ;) All kidding aside, Samantha Evans, Angel Star, Malika, Charlotte, Nikki, Berlin, and *so* many others that I hope are not offended by not being named have provided insightful conversation for all of us to read and enjoy. That's why I still lurk here and occasionally inflict my version of insight into the threads. I have nothing against Emily. I would like to (nudge nudge wink wink). I like attractive young women with tattoos, and she seems to genuinely have a great personality. However, her contributions are one on one and out of the public eye. So, I can't speak to their value, though I'm sure they're great. If this poll is about individual, subjective opinion of one on one interactions, I don't think it's anything more than a popularity fiasco. The community is grown and nurtured by the public contributions that are made, despite the parallel value of what is shared privately between members. I can't learn from what I can't see. I'd love to learn more from Emily, as I'm sure many others would. I'm not voting because I think it would be an unintended slap to all those other wonderful and brave women who share their experiences with us openly, and I'd hate to be perceived that way.

Huh. I would never have figured asking for photo ID would be acceptable behavior in this kind of situation. Would Benny have been in the same trouble if he had been shown a fake ID, I wonder?