emiafish

It is! Better living through pharmacology!

No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air. Sex in the sauna or sex in the pool?

Back to pets making an inappropriate entrance... I was in the midst of providing mouth love to my partner. My face and chest were low on the bed, but for some reason my butt was up in the air as I was on my knees. Think of the supplicant position. I was lost in the wonder and pleasure of my partner's poo-nanny. My world had shrunk to include only what was in front of my nose and I was feeling fine! Suddenly and without warning I became aware of a wet tongue tickling my low hanging fruit. All at once my world expanded as the realization that one of my two 12 pound dogs had fount their way up on the bed. I turned to see, not one dog, but both dogs, male and female, at the end of the bed. The male had been the brave one. His sister was sitting back and, I swear to God this is true, was judging us!! Needless to say, much laughter followed. The dogs were relocated and we continued where we left off before "Will" and "Grace" decided to make it a foursome. Additional Comments: Oh and fries any mayo is A May Zing!

Have you ever had sex on top of a mountain, a real mountain above the tree line, during a mini blizzard in June? If you have, we need to talk...

Deadpool - Total awesome sauce!! Zootopia - Disney cute with Pixar funny. Sloths steal the movie.

I'm an inside guy. Mouth or vagina. Or any other willing orifice. Hot wet messy sex play or quick, clean and quivering quickies?

Flat chested? There's an op for that! Born ugly? There's an op for that! Too short? Too fat? Bad teeth? Bad eyes? There's ops for all of that too! But Gawd Almighty there's no fixing stupid! In no particular order: Donald Trump supporters, Southern Bible Belters, 98% of Twitter and everyone who thinks it's a good idea to call me every night while I'm having dinner to sell me shit I don't need or want! There! Rant over.

People who stand and block doorways, stairwells and elevators. Close your mouth and move aside!

Most everyone has a place where they stash their loose change. For me, it's the top drawer of my night table. Last weekend in a surge of ambition and a touch of avarice my SO decided to empty my change drawer and roll up the different denominations. The total came to over $400.00! But that's not my pet peeve. The rest of the non monetary contents were left piled on top of the night table. So now I'm out 400 bucks and I have a new mess to clean up. Why can't people put things back the way they found them. Fer Goodness sakes, they teach that in Kindergarten, don't they?

I like to be the victim in that scenario. I enjoy giving climaxes too much to edge, it's the sexual equivalent of a Tootsie Pop. Toys or fingers?

Twice, both time with a professional companion. Sadly it works better when you become a regular. Have you ever cheated on a partner while in the same room?

Having to nursemaid my sister in law this weekend because her looser husband can't get his shite together. Messed up my plans in a big way. The worst part is both of them brought this on themselves. Long, boring and sadly trite story, that does not bear repeating. But I just can't stand having others irresponsibilities impact my life. So like a grownup I will set aside my carefully laid plans and support my wife and her family. But I don't have to like it. There! Rant all done. I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Preparing for an Ottawa to Montreal road trip. When I'd rather just stay here and cocoon.

Never engaged in public masturbation. Somehow if a woman masturbates in public it's exotic and exciting. But if a man does it! They call SWAT. Closest I ever came was when I was paying for food at a fast food joint, that rhymes with Furger Bing. The cashier looked me right in the eye and said "Strip down, right in front", after the screaming died down I realized she was talking about my debit card! Have you ever had more than one partner/playmate at the same time who were blood relatives? Sisters, brothers, parent and spawn? It happened to me, and no they were not twins.

Topless, gotta have that tactile contact. Besides corsets mainly stimulate my visual senses. If done extremely well do you prefer manual edging or mouth edging?

That's a no for me.

More times than I care to count. Back in the pre-Internet hobbying days. Every once in a while I was nicely surprised, but mostly it was a case of Oh well, what the hell! For me, sometimes even bad sex is better than no sex. Have you ever "done it" while visiting with friend, but not with the friend?

N is for nuzzle as in let me nuzzle your flower with my face.

Tough choice. Ideally both at the same time, but if I had to choose...I would like my partner/playmate to surrender themselves to me completely, body, mind and spirit. In the same stream... Playing Simon Says or calling Simon Says?

Many times, especially at dusk. We'd put them in mason jars with grass stalks and holes punched in the lids. In the morning we would let the survivors go free. So they could return to thier friends and family with stories of alien abduction. Have you ever got it on with someone famous?

Lounger, less chance of disaster! On demand oral (24/7) for 2 years then never again or guaranteed oral twice a year for the rest of your life?

Sadly, both is not an option otherwise that would be my response, I'd have to go with giving, especially if the feet in question were pretty. Foot massage or head massage?

Fruity salad. Cunnilingus with digital assist or without?

Not on the hood, but on the roof. And it wasn't raining, it was pouring! Have you ever done it on the top of a mountains?

Neck, it's the pathway to somuch more! Slow sensual sloth sex or hot and heavy monkey sex?