backrubman

Yeah, that's kind of exactly what I was trying to say. Do lunch (and compensate her for her time) but then if and when you do meet more privately, no butterflies. It's just not fun if it isn't fun (with butterflies = no fun) so why not get to know her first. Always works for me :) YMMV but after a luncheon date it's more like meeting an old friend to catch up. Of course I never worry about the "menu" then, it is what it is.

I usually agree with everything you post Meg, really, I do :) But in this case, that risks they will spend some more time together and there will be more transference (in one direction). Sorry Meg, I say time to pull the rip cord in favor of a softer landing.

Happy birthday Roamingguy! You survived your hunting and fishing trip with Lee (and the wolves obviously didn't eat you) so you're now a year older and I know you've heard this one before, "It's all pensionable time" and yes, another mile stone closer to that pension. Have a happy birthday.

I think it is a number of factors Cristy. Probably the main one is that much of our communication is non-verbal, so we don't get the body language or facial expressions as you say what it is you have to say, so posts are so easily misunderstood if not ever so carefully worded and then there are lots that don't read or consider what they are reading and misunderstand us anyways. Another aspect (and you touched on this) is the wide variety of people here. They all have different life experiences and opinions, that inevitably leads them to take different views on what is being said or asked. Then there are also those that try to make themselves feel better by putting down or criticizing other people. And finally, always an intentional trouble maker or two around. But it's only virtual, letters on a screen, even when I am misunderstood I don't let it bother me anymore. I always enjoy reading your posts and think you are neat! (you must be as you enjoy cleaning) :)

That one sentence of yours I quoted above tells me that something is not the way it should be. I admire fine art and may go to the gallery or museum on multiple occasions to admire it, but if it is something that can never truly be mine I have to be content to accept that and just admire it. Once I start to covet then it is clearly time to find something else to admire. Some would disagree with my opinion on this but then I have seen this very thing happen to someone else at a distance and he ended up as a train wreck in the end, a very sad story. I definitely care very much about all my SP friends (you can' help but not to) but the lines of demarcation are clear and must remain that way.

I think friends and family are completely different entities Cristy. As dysfunctional as our family may be they are still family (and we can't change that even if we'd sometimes like to). I have a very small circle of really close friends (so few people qualify or make the grade). Interestingly and on reflection, I think some of my best friends are CERB members. While I do rely, depend and expect that anything I share with my "professional" SP friends is to be kept in the strictest of confidence and the lines of demarcation are very clear to me (I don't ever expect an SP to invade my personal, "other" or "real" life and they can always rest assured that I will never do that to them) I find I can tell them things I would tell no one else in the whole world and really be myself (unguarded) and they are not only engaged (and sometimes amused) by my truly strange life but are bound by some odd (non written but well understood) canon of ethics and very non judgmental. In fact, although they are "paid for" and "professional" friends, they are in a way the best friends of all as you can really depend on their discretion, loyalty and dependability. Thank you ladies for doing everything you do. Us "complex" minds are really glad you are around :)

Yes, they are "surprising affordable" or not surprisingly depending on your point of view. As a frequent traveler to places like the Dominican Republic and other 3rd world countries, the poverty, lack of education and opportunities and other socioeconomic factors can result in the ladies being willing to dispose of basic protection such as a condom for a very, very small extra fee. So I suppose as much of a bargain as these places may seem to be, buyer beware as you could get a lot more than you bargained for. Just recently in my travels I was offered an all night duo with two most amazingly beautiful ladies for very small amount of money. As tempting as it may be to those that think with the wrong part of their body, I had to say "no gracias senoritas" :)

I agree billybob but aside from the original question, it never hurts to bring it up so that perhaps someone will see this discussion and recognize that this is a real risk they perhaps hadn't reconized or considered (no matter how small and infrequent, it can and does happen). I "try" to look at questions in the most favorable way and I suppose someone could assume that the law has something to say about this and, well it does have much to say about it but makes no distinction nor should it. We have to "judge" and "assume" that the OP wouldn't want to do the right thing to be critical of him or just say "there are no stupid questions". But all that flowery stuff aside, shhh... don't tell anyone but I agree with you.

I find the question doesn't really need to be asked as the answer is pretty obvious EXCEPT that said, I think many clients do go to an SP with the expectation that she will have this risk somehow covered for them (birth control and even morning after pill in the event of a condom malfunction) and this is usually the case but at the end of the day there is still a risk of this occurring and it is one reason among many other reasons I always use my real name when booking and show my passport or driver's license to the SP as: I can't imagine that I would make a baby and not want to know about it and I would also want to be very much a part of that child's life and provide all the support I could, well beyond what I was legally required to do. To make a long story short, I once found myself kind of depressed in a 3rd world country at the bar drinking a little too much (and going to be there for some time yet). My associates called me on my cell phone in a panic as the Asian markets were opening, they had a lot of exposure on and didn't know what to do as it wasn't going their way, so I told them well if I wasn't drinking this what I would do but I also wouldn't listen to me right now :) I then went back to my room and collapsed on the bed without even getting undressed after having had too much to drink. The next day I am woke up around noon by the phone in my hotel room ringing, they were very excited because against my advice they had taken my advice and made a lot of money. I think as part joke and also part because they really did care and were grateful (who really ever knows about these things) they told me to go to the lobby as a present would be delivered for me in about 30 minutes. She was the most beautiful girl and the person delivering her was careful to point out that the fee had already been taken care of (and then some) for the next two weeks. Just one very big problem (for me), she was young enough to be my daughter and that's just not for me, so I put her in her own separate room, we became the best of "friends", it stayed totally platonic, we had the most wonderful time and after two weeks or so I had my favorite driver take her home with the offer to drop her off an easy walk from her apartment. But she wouldn't hear of it, I had to meet her baby daughter and the rest of her family who she had been in contact with every day while she was on "assignment". So she has the most beautiful daughter in who is the product of a condom failure during a 30 minute encounter with an Italian tourist. There is no hope of her ever finding him as she never even knew his name; so somewhere out there in the world is a man who has the most beautiful daughter and no idea he even does. To make the story even more gut wrenching, she told me she'd marry me in an instant (as all the men in her country are pigs in her opinion and she'd never met a real gentleman before) and her daughter was not yet old enough to know I that wasn't her real father and never having had any children of my own, well the thought did of course cross my mind, poof, instant family. Her mother was also a very nice and real person and I can't imagine how she wouldn't make a nice mother-in-law. Hmmm, guess I'm still thinking about her offer :)

I have great loyalty to certain brands. I've always owned a Motorola phone (even when the world passed them by patiently I waited for them to catch up, (perhaps it's because I toured the factory many years ago and was impressed with the quality control and rigorous testing) and I've always liked General Motors for a vehicle (oh, oh, now I'm in for it). Sometimes we pick brand names because due to past experience we do know (or think we know) are are getting quality. For more commodity type items, I'll buy the no name brand and spend my savings on a brand name SP :) And even cristycurves is becoming a brand name in her own special way.

I'm sorry that you thought that was my take on what you wrote. No, no, no.... my fault entirely for being too subtle. I only said you "touched" on something and then proceeded with my fearless and stupid rant :) Because of course when you said: It reminded me of, and made me question, well just how was he suppose to know without being a mind reader or some communication (verbal or otherwise)? and it seems your experiences are very similar to mine when you say: with notable exceptions :) Please don't take offense, sometimes something reminds me of something else and then I go off on a tangent, the curse of a complex and runaway mind.

I think you have touched on something that probably shouldn't be said but I think needs to be said, but then I am fearless and stupid :) To us nice guys, true gentlemen, whatever label one might apply, it is (for me at least, and I wonder if others feel that way?) not about me or my pleasure but the whole over-all experience and you are very right about women being different. If it is someone I haven't seen before and gotten to know and the lady isn't engaged, doesn't communicate what she wants and how she wants it, at least for me it isn't a "real" experience and quite frankly if she'd rather be somewhere else and gives off that vibe, then I'd definitely rather be somewhere else and will be in short order. I'm a very gentle person but maybe she likes it rough, some do. Yeah, I can do that too but I can't read your mind. I have no problem with my confidence and know I am pretty skilled but if you are so poor at communication and the art of seduction that you have to give me just one fake moan -- I dare you. I'll politely scold you, get dressed and I'm out of there, never to repeat. I'd rather be honestly warned by the lady she had already seen a few too many clients that day before me, even silence would be more respectful than "fake". Happened only once in many encounters, will not repeat with this lady (sorry if you are reading this dear as you know who you are) :) I wasn't expecting to rock her world (unless she wanted me to) but I do think I have a right to honesty.

That is excellent advice Samantha (provided is is available in your area and the other partner is willing) but still might be of limited or no help if I understand the question and I am now extrapolating a little in an attempt to do so. Perhaps back to the core of the question (if I am reading it right), it may stem from the fact that there seem to a lot of couples who are poorly matched specifically in relation to the sexual goals, desires or inhibitions of one partner versus the another. I have heard this from the SPs, the client comes to them because their wife won't do this or that and isn't willing to try or even entertain the possibility and they are frustrated by this. Girls talk more openly among themselves about this kind of thing but alas the guys do also (after enough alcohol and some bonding on a fishing or hunting trip). One complaint I hear of from some of my close guy friends is something to the effect of "my wife won't give me a BJ, sob, sob" (I'll use that as but one example for the purposes of discussion) and they usually know why this is so also. I truly don't know what to say to that (as a suggestion) when it is told to me in confidence, wish I did. So I usually say "Hmmm, why is that?" Given the reasons they typically state I don't have any easy answers for them (aside from divorce and finding a new less inhibited wife which isn't helpful). I've never had this specific problem with my partner nor does this (or any) particular activity seem "all important" to me like it does to some of my friends (and I tend not to ask for this or anything specific during my time with an SP but they have their own ideas as to what I want) but over the years I have encountered some inhibited partners who either responded to very gentle encouragement and were pleased they did or I just left it alone. But while this isn't "all important" to me, I can accept that it is all important to someone else and one phenomenon I have noticed is that some of the "professional" ladies are so very skilled at this (using this particular example) and so much so that the male brain simply isn't prepared for such a mind blowing experience (when delivered with such skill which I have to assume comes from either experience or natural ability and perhaps a combination of the two). I have no idea how a gentleman can turn his partner into a skilled professional like this or how she can acquire the same skills in any other way than such a lady that would posses such incredible skills did :) So I don't think the SPs can help directly with this.

Thank you for your clarification. I respectfully disagree as I do not judge here. Each to their own. Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Gracias por su aclaracion. Con todo respeto, no estan de acuerdo no juzgamos aqui. Cada uno a su propia cuenta. Por supuesto usted tiene derecho a su opinion.

I once reprogrammed the phone system where I was working at the time to deliver the number of the White House switch board and "Office of President Bush" as the caller Id (outgoing ANI spill for the techies), (back when Bush was in office) and had a female co worker call my wife and say: "I have the President wishing to speak with Backrubman (ok so she used my real name I can't use here), is he available to speak with the President at this time?" "No he is at the office, but I can give you his number there" "That's okay ma'am, we have already it, Thank you, I'll try to reach him there, have a nice day". A short while later my wife calls me at the office and asks excitedly "Why is President Bush calling you?". "Oh, he calls all the time for advice, it's really stating to get annoying actually". Long silent pause...(she is thinking hard but the caller id really has her fooled) "April Fools honey!" :) Additional comments (sparked by PMs): - Yes, it is a very true story (I take oath and so swear it), you really can do this if you have the right equipment. - Never did like George Bush (funny but I thought the guy with the most votes should have won) but he was the current President of the United States of America at the time and if the Prime Minister's office called, not only was she even less likely to know who he is but even if she did she wouldn't think he was very important :)

LOL. But seriously, before my wife became disabled (and unable), she suggested (her idea) we might like to someday soon have a professional lady join us; wasn't for educational purposes at all. We even openly discussed all the possible hazards and researched how this kind of encounter can go astray. Guess it's a shame (or a blessing) we never did get around to it before it was to late. Now I'll never know :) I proudly wear my wedding band in honour of my dear wife I shall forever love. I do hope the SPs realize that they are a tremendous help and comfort to us married clients and have probably saved many marriages. Thank you ladies for everything you do and doing what you do. I am so glad you ladies are around.

LOL, Thanks for brightening my day. I say if at first you don't succeed, try again. Canadians (and even those that read the Sun) would so benefit from your great wisdom. As a world traveler myself I often see topless women (and yes, even bottomless ones) and it doesn't seem the least bit usual to me, in fact I'm likely not to even notice (unless of course it is impossible not to, I am a man after all). As hard as it may be for some Canadians to imagine I am being truthful, I guess you have to imagine a gentleman from a Muslim country that isn't use to seeing women in public without a Hijab and then comes to Canada. After a very short time, it would seem completely normal to him. And along that same line and back on topic, I suppose there is some correlation between the progressive change "to the law allowing women to go topless in public places" and the changes to the prostitution related laws that are currently in progress. It seems when they were allowed to do so, women oddly didn't start going topless whenever the weather permitted although as I remember at the time some feared they would and cause numerous traffic accidents :) Perhaps the more recent changes to the law will have a similar failure to make any noticeable impact?

Well dearest Christine I have to say I am in almost complete agreement (99.999%) with what you say, suppose that's as close as one can come to complete. Why not take those awesome writing skills you have that you know I admire so much (and you don't give yourself near enough credit for) and write a letter to the editor and see if they dare publish it? Such a letter written by one as skilled and knowledgeable as you would be orders of magnitude better written then their best staff writer could hope to manage. We will know that they censor any constructive criticism of themselves if your letter does not appear in print :)

When some replies to a thread with "wow thats f'd" and nothing more.... hmmm? http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=330287&postcount=7

No entiendo su punto de vista de alto nivel. Le importa a ampliar un poco? Le agradecería si usted pudiera ampliar sus pensamientos, por favor?

Well there are a lot of SPs that advertise that they will see couples, but in this circumstance I'm not sure it's ever in any kind or much of a teaching capacity and have to agree with loopie, can't see it being too useful for that purpose. Of course there are couples out there that are both completely clueless but it seems they are also the least likely to invite and SP into the bedroom and in such a circumstance there are many hazards to be avoided, seems someone always gets their feelings hurt unless these hazards are handled properly in advance. But if we consider the single guy (might even have a girlfriend) that is still a virgin (or feels he has no skills and therefore no confidence) and is almost locked into staying that way due to a total or almost total lack of experience (rarer these days I know as most teens become sexually active but some adult virgins do exist) I think the discreetness (no kiss and tell), patience (she's in no hurry if you book a 4 or 5 hour appointment), acceptance (SPs don't judge you in any way if you are a gentleman) and obvious experience of a well rated SP could be my prescription for such a condition. Such a nervous sole would only have to book a lengthy appointment, be honest up front and let the lady show him the way. Oh to be a virgin again... I remember it like it was yesterday, although it was far from being yesterday, and she wasn't an SP but I did confess my virginity and the instant I did it was like a powerful, fast acting illicit drug had been administered to her and she became really excited. She warned me I would never forget her and it was so true, I never have and she was so fascinated and excited to show me the way she gave me many lessons. That wonderful girl transformed me in a week from being a virgin to having a lot of confidence. I know the experience was very much enjoyed by her as well to get exactly what she wanted, when and how she wanted it (thus the multiple lessons) :) I also think SPs are tutors without even knowing it (or thinking about it a lot of the time) as I've never met two women that were the same so with each experience we do learn and hone our skills on how to navigate and read our partner. So I'm not sure there is a big market for this and I think in some ways, they are doing this either knowingly or unknowingly all the time, of course there are always exceptions to everything. I'm sure some of ladies can add some insight to this.

I agree and most respectfully, I remember precisely these same arguments when eBay was about a week old like it was yesterday. Yes, you can buy LOTS of personal services on eBay today (web design, lessons and tutoring, promotion, etc.) and while it isn't that much of a stretch to extend Spanish lessons into sex lessons on a regional basis as anything and everything turns to online content, I do hope you are right.

Kind of cool idea for a thread, Cristy. I am a completely logical, scientific, analyzing type of being of the sort that one might think would be the very last to accept Karma, yet I oddly base my entire life on perhaps not precisely Karma but something very similar. Whatever you give, God pays you back with interest (or somebody other than God if you are an atheist). Ok, so we've all had that stray rock strike our windshield on the highway and whap! and then it cracks and spreads and we get a new windshield and as it's like $400 we just pay by credit card. The glass shop is great, highly skilled, but technologically primitive and has a credit card impression machine with the little carbon copy slips. Months go by, more months go by, but oddly we haven't seen the charge on the credit card statement. Hmmm (guess this should be in the thread of things that make you go Hmmm), I wonder if that $400 charge for the new windshield will ever show up? It's been like 6 months. So passing by the auto glass store on my way to the office one morning I stop in and explain the situation, that I had my windshield replaced, paid by credit card and it has never shown up on the credit card statement, did the charge not go through? Was the impression of my credit card not clear enough? What is the problem? The owner is in "shock"! Like why are you here man? What in the world do you want from me? So I explain, I want only to make sure you get your money. I can't in good conscience drive around with a new windshield I haven't paid for. As it turns out the credit card impression wasn't good enough, the bank rejected it, they hadn't recorded my address or license number and had no way of contacting me, so of course I paid for the windshield, the owner then had to shake my hand and congratulate me for being the last honest person left in the world and I was on my way to the office again. $400 is a lot of money for a small business like this to have to absorb as a loss. As I travel along the highway I come upon a horrible "black ice" style of accident that had happened about 20 minutes before with lots of cars and carnage involved. Of course I see the flashing lights of the emergency vehicles and slow right down and pass by with that icky feeling we always get but then I realize that it all happened 20 minutes ago and that's just about exactly how long I spent at the auto glass shop. Hmmm This is but one example of many similar experiences I have had over all the years and all my life of practicing my own particular brand of Karma.

That so reminds me of a funny story I heard from one of the ladies I so trust and respect on this happening to her. To make a long story short and not hijack the thread it was very much like "Oh, so your not his girlfriend, you're an escort and you knew he was married? Yes, that's right. Well then, I'm so very sorry to have bothered you honey, my sincerest apologies, you have a great evening. Fred!!!! F-R-E-D!!! &^%!&!!&%" Phone call ends :)

Very good question. Couldn't agree with you more. That is a big part of why I said "The moral part of me wants nothing to do with it." Having said that, a booking with confidentially held and verified identification of the client costs the service provider $50 more (not $1). Does that indirectly start to show the moral dilemma? Of course such a high volume site could only hold the identity of the person making the booking in escrow and not verify much beyond that. Having said that, let's give each lady her own personal calendar, reminder service and even access to the knowledge that the person booked before and the lady who he booked subsequently identified him as a good guy. Yes, with the power of today's computers we can even have a rating system for clients. So I guess she signs a waver and agrees to hold the site harmless if she accepts any bookings from a client that hasn't previously booked on the site and been subsequently identified as a good guy. But I'm just not going to go there. I only fear someone now will and maybe they will make $1 X 100 million or a $100 million from this idea. Point was the "avails law" change has wide ranging effects, mostly good but like all things good, it can usually be used for evil also.