backrubman

I listen intently to what they have to say and what they found interesting about it. A big part of being a good friend is being a good listener and they must be my friend for other reasons than our common interest in something I don't like. I've been handed books, "Oh you've got to read this!". So I will and if I am bored after a few pages I return the book and when they ask if I liked it, I'm honest enough to tell them the truth, "Sorry, guess it's just not for me" or if it's truly something I'm not interested in, I won't even take the book, I'll confess right away that it's not something I'd be interested in reading. But I always listen to why I should bother and then decide for myself, sometimes they are so right! And when they aren't, they'll still be my friend (because I'm a good listener and honest).

Very good advice porthos. Two things that have bugged me is the lady not PMing me here by my CERB handle to verify it is really me (could be anyone saying they are me) and I also have a really good relationship with some ladies such that I already have their permission to use them as a reference and they will hopefully contact me and let me know if some asks them about me (actually does check a reference check) -- and I know that in some cases references weren't checked. So the SP assumed that I had been honest about my CERB handle without verifying this to be so (bad) and also assumed that if I was willing to provide another lady as reference I must be Ok (bad). I appreciate the ladies that do take the time to advise me they had an inquiry about me because if I didn't use them as a reference with the lady doing the inquiring then she needs to be warned right away. I don't know if it is lazy, time pressures or assumptions but if they ask for this information and don't use it to do the checks someone will fool them sooner or later (it's been tried) and I value my reputation also. Yes, this actually happened! I got a heads up in passing "oh btw, I just gave you a really great to reference to so and so". Whoop, Whoop, Whoop, red alert and alarm bells, I didn't name you as a reference to "so and so" and have no plans at this time to make an appointment with her - warn her at once and I will too! Very scary. I've posted about this before and even updated my profile with a warning, "PM to verify". Fortunately in this case she was warned in time to abort the encounter. I did wonder just what kind of a deadbeat she would have met if this hadn't be caught (at best it would be a no-show but that doesn't help my reputation as I would never do that to someone) -- So ladies, please continue to warn me if you get an inquiry, if I really did name you as a reference I will send back my sincerest appreciation and gratitude for giving me a good reference and if I didn't, red alert! It's the only way to ensure the reference you just gave me is helpful and not harmful to the SP doing the inquiring. CERB is great (and even powerful) in so many ways but this power can be used for evil. Just pick a nice review and note who it is written by. You can now (if you are evil) say you are the guy that wrote the review and use the lady that is being reviewed as a reference. So as long as the lady does her due diligence and PMs me (to verify) all is good. Fortunately I now know enough very wonderful, supreme, awesome, incredible ladies that I'm rarely looking to meet someone new I haven't before but people do come and go and then there is the travel, if it is a city I don't often get to or my preferred date is unavailable, sometimes I do really need a dinner date for business purposes.

I so hate goodbyes, so let's just say "goodbye for now" and may everything you touch turn to gold.

Anyone that would cancel an appointment with you Penelope and miss out on the opportunity to spend "those moments in time" with someone as wonderful as you (when they could have) is a looser in many more ways than one.

It was a total dream job for most of the couple of decades I did it this. But just like Roaming Guy commented on your post, it's not what it used to be. So I did what it seems no permanent Federal Government employee would ever do (never known anyone else to do this), I quit and followed my dreams. My co-workers were in a state of total "shock and awe". People thought I was completely crazy but it worked out great. Now I work when I want to, how I want to. I imagine a lot of SPs also enjoy the freedom of working when they want to but I'm sure that took a lot of courage as well, which I can only admire. It was a huge risk that took a lot of courage but the best decision I ever made was to follow my dreams regardless of the possible consequences. I'm very happy again!

Ok, so I did look at the calendar (like it's not April 1st already is it?). Studies have shown they almost all "quietly" have cell phones and charge them with solar panels. Of course a simple or basic cell phone is getting harder to find these days (fast). "Did I mention how great the searchable bible app is?" the salesman at the phone store says... I have nothing but respect for others choices as long as they don't object to mine (so no disrespect intended) but somehow I have this vision of going down the road with your horse and buggy while surfing the net on the latest Android or iPhone, checking your email of course, posting some pics of that new buggy you just bought on Facebook for your neighbors to see (they need to know it's you going by, won't recognize the new wheels otherwise) and of course using Tapatalk to access CERB... hmmmm. I guess the big advantage is you probably won't get in trouble for using a mobile device while driving, it's not a motor vehicle and the horses know where they are going anyways.

I did meet a lady who was obviously very dedicated and committed to her vocation and career in that she had invested in laser hair removal treatments such that she never had to worry about this again (no maintenance or stubble ever). The really serious SPs who see this as their life's work or career and find maintenance a nuisance might consider it, although it surely isn't an inexpensive solution she felt it was a very good investment. I thought that was pretty neat (excuse the pun).

Welcome! A great question. Many of the SPs I am familiar with do offer appointments with couples so I don't think you will have any trouble there. My wife and I had planned this (her idea) and most men wouldn't need a lot of convincing to give it a try :) In talking about it and researching it we did discover there are some possible relationship hazards to over come but these kind of problems are easily disposed of ahead of time as long as you have had an honest and open discussion about it and have done a little research to understand them. Sounds like you are researching a bit first so that's a good approach. Unfortunately my wife was injured and became severely disabled before this came to pass.

Hi Missie. Welcome!!! Being a service provider in a small town will no doubt have it's challenges (in fact I'm sure it does in one way or another anywhere). If this is your home town where your friends and family are then I think it safe to say that in such a small town it would have a very negative impact on you sooner or later no matter how careful you may be. It shouldn't be this way but it is. If it is your home town or you have any significant number of friends or know people there, someone you know or that knows someone you know or even that knows someone that knows someone that knows someone will be looking to set up an appointment. Eventually someone will slip through any screening for this you may have until it's too late. This happens in the big cities also so of course it is a mathematical certainty in a small town. You would also run into clients (with their wives) when shopping for groceries and of course you would proceed like you had never met them, that's expected. I know many of the ladies can give you lots of great advice, much better than me -- I only reply because I am from a small town and understand the everybody knows almost everybody else of a town the size of Truro. Lets assume it isn't your home town -- even walking down the street, two guys in a car, "hey there's the girl I was telling you about", the other says "Oh, I know her, she lives down the street or in the same apartment building as me", poof! you are outed. Which I see nothing wrong with (well they are wrong and shouldn't kiss and tell, that's wrong but they will) as long as you are ok with it. You mention reluctance to show your face in pictures, so you must know people there in one way or another. Your "clients" will know you to see you. It isn't long (in a small town) before one of the conversations like outlined above happens and your next door neighbor knows, your hair dresser, the taxi drivers will all know of you quickly and who knows who they know (yes I once was a taxi driver in a small town, we knew who the service providers were back in the days when there were some). I noticed the service providers here (in my small town, around the same size as Truro) are no more, yes, there are now none. We have a few very wonderful visitors from time to time and that is all. Yes, I expect demand would be quite high in Truro, I know it would be where I live here, still keep in contact with a few of my taxi driver friends and there is simply nobody and lots of demand. Note that I think being a service provider is the most honourable of vocations but I would not encourage or try to discourage you, it has to be your choice.

No worries, wasn't taken that way at all, your input is always greatly appreciated oh great wise one. I seek only to gain some of your wisdom. Again very wise. I did say in my OP "I would be the last to judge them for it" and I certainly agree in principal that this site should be judgement free but if one posts something advocating something illegal or just plain reprehensible I think they will have to be prepared to be judged. In that case, I even respect that some people (particularly single) might think cheating on your spouse is reprehensible (maybe they are very religious). I could even accept that as their view point (not mine), but I'd just say it is lot less reprehensible then a messy, emotional, full on love affair. And that's more the contrast I was asking about and also do SPs save marriages, no question they do in some cases. Do SPs ruin marriages, no! She is clearly blameless. People do that perhaps by seeing an SP and then it becoming known to their SO, but is the impact of an SP indiscretion less? etc. This was going to be a "comment" on your post but the site wouldn't let me :)

Thanks RG. Yeah, probably my fault, I wasn't trying to spark a debate on the morals of cheating (although that's fine if one wants to comment on or debate it). Yeah, and my wife is very disabled, medically unable in several ways (hopeless) and nags me to "see someone", "get a girlfriend" or "go see a working girl" (her term not mine) so to "love, honour and obey" this is what I must do :) However, I was really asking about once the decision has been made (for what ever reason) is this not the kinder, gentler way than an emotional love affair? and wouldn't it have less impact if discovered? And isn't it preferable to toying with some innocent girls emotions? and how do SPs feel about married men? Do they care? Do they even think about it? Do they notice the wedding band? But my questions are even much more complex than that (thus the length) and for that I apologize. It is quite deep with lots of moving parts but I didn't see to cheat or not to cheat as part of it. Perhaps I didn't do a good job posting the original question(s). I know the answers I get are only as good as the question I ask and how clearly I ask it.

I really like the fact that Cristy brings this up and in so doing is trying to change it for the better but I do very much have to agree that anyone who would see an SP without the utmost care, cleanliness and preparation is not going to be reading this here or if they do it won't register. She has every right to send them away or charge extra (her choice). Maybe this belongs on her web site "show up dirty and you get a bath and shave on our time first", were did I put that fake dirt? Hmmmm. No, seriously, it's no joking matter Cristy. Once I was in Ottawa starting to preparing to see two wonderful ladies the next day (a guy has to go there once at least, not Ottawa but two ladies at once) and I almost cut myself shaving so I took a break from it and logged into CERB for a few minutes. An SP started chatting with me (I'm not the sort to initiate a private chat for any reason) and she asked if there was anything she could do for me. Not wanting to waste her time, I very quickly told her that I was already taken and just taking a break from careful preparations (not just personal grooming but also preparing my hotel suite) for the next day. She continued to chat with me (her choice) and it was discovered that she was a former hairdresser, located 2 minutes from my hotel and in the absence of anything else to do right then and now she offered to help at a very progressive fee, an offer that was hard to refuse so I didn't. The power of CERB allowed me to check her reputation and reviews and realize that she was outstanding so I accepted her offer. Poof! She was there in less than 5 minutes, took care of everything, truly wonderful service and having taken care of everything, after a short discussion about how nice a service it was she was gone, mission accomplished. A few weeks later I went back to her web site (like who was that masked lady in the super-woman cape?) only to discover that she now plainly offers a "personal grooming service to help in preparation for that hot date" and of course that wasn't there at the time I met her so it certainly made me smile.

Opps. So now you understand you are infected also and propagating the virus also? Hope so. That's how this spreads, by exploiting your trust for someone you know. MalwareBytes, Super Anti-Spyware, Spotbot Search and Destroy but lots of "fake" versions of these out there to. Never ends. Hope you have got (or will get it) cleaned up ok. Should add this one to the thread "things that suck and not in a good way" :) Don't feel bad about it, your friend got sucked into this vortex first. You're not the first or the last to fall for this one. Thanks for the warning.

I don't hunt or fish (I know, I'm a guy so I'm probably suppose to) but I think there are lots of opportunities and benefits for both the provider and the client in offering a lengthy package deal like this. The type of package I would be most interested in is probably travel to an exotic destination (that I just simply wouldn't go to by myself or that I have to go to (for business) but would really enjoy having a companion), and never mind the really exotic, like who goes to Hawaii alone? So a package deal sounds like a really great idea to me! Using that example (just as an example as there are endless possibilities) I think it's only reasonable and expected that one covers any and all related expenses for their companion. It's also important to know the SP quite well and have a pre-existing "professional" relationship that is highly compatible and of course it's equally important for both to understand that it will and must remain that way (NSA). So would an SP be interested in a free trip to Hawaii (with package price compensation)? I can't see why they wouldn't want to work on that beautiful tan or get one :) I have found myself in the most wonderful places where there is lots to see and do and it just isn't as much fun (after business is taken care of) when you are by yourself. Recently I did find myself in this circumstance and quite wonderfully I have some incredible friends that did provide a local companion (their idea) but she was young enough to be my daughter so I had to treat her as such (and she was disappointed by this). As much of an awesome time as she otherwise had I couldn't help but wonder if a Canadian lady wouldn't have enjoyed the experience even more.

Thanks so much MightyPen! Ok, you got me! I accept your argument and stand corrected ready to own up to being incorrect (never any shame in that). Your insight is much appreciated. So given that I accept as you say that "Everyone is inclined to infidelity" (and my married girlfriend would no doubt agree) then can I at least get away with saying that men are more likely to act on these inclinations? And if you can let me get away with that then I'll agree this is cultural also, as you say. What say you? And I also think "this is a great subject for discussion" and hope you do "dive in again with thoughts on other aspects" so perhaps you could consider starting a new thread just so we don't hijack this one by getting too far off topic. I'd really like to learn more of your insights into this and anything else you find of interest. You do pretty good for being in such a rush -- put me in my place! No "get-out-of-jail-free card for guys" the gals aren't entirely different (just culturally driven different behaviors).

I'm with you on this November, views become more liberal (or liberated) all the time but at least for the remainder of this decade we would be dreaming in technicolor to believe it will come to pass. I am fortunate in that I don't worry too much about getting caught (and that in and of itself probably makes it less likely that I will be, trying to be too secretive can have the opposite than desired effect) because I have "permission" and encouragement from my SO but I think our relationship would have trust issues that would have to be dealt with if she found out I went behind her back and to not go behind her back would make her feel badly (even though it is her idea, she medically can't and loves me enough to give me what I tend to think of as "pseudo permission"). But back when she could and everything was great, she even offered then to treat me to a ménage à trois with a suitable "working girl" and I think she was very interested in this herself (not just for my benefit). While this was tempting it only took a little research to realize that in this instance someone always gets their feelings hurt unless two of the three people in the room are "professionals" :) or there is much discussion and preparation to overcome this in advance. Almost the same kind of hurt she would experience if I gave in and said ok, I'll go see a professional companion and did so with her knowing all about it. As liberal as she is and I do love her for it, she'd wonder what was going on and if she was there to observe (so she wouldn't have to wonder) it would be even more hurtful. You are so right, there is no sure fire way of not getting caught but lots of great advice in this thread that can help one to stay out of trouble. I have no guilt or remorse about it (for the reasons stated above) but one thing that I have come to realize from my experiences that probably should be said, as much of a gentleman as I may be I do "know" that men are wired up by design to be unfaithful (even me) and I would have resisted without "pseudo permission" but some men just can't and I would be the last to judge them for it -- I hope the wife that does catch her husband can understand that this isn't the same kind of unfaithfulness at all that an emotional and messy love affair would be and forgive or even more hopeful for the future, "understand it" completely.

Interesting (and likely very accurate) theories. The holidays like Christmas and New Years are a time to spend with family and friends, not be out "hobby"ing. Oh, I actually hate referring to it as a hobby so much, shame on me! While I think there is so much more to it and calling it a hobby is very wrong, I respect, rely and even depend on the clear line of demarcation between a "professional" friendship and our other lives.

What about the coffee cups (like at Tim Hortons) that say "Caution - Contents may be hot"... was I expecting cold coffee? hmmmm

I couldn't agree more. Fortunately I have "permission" from my SO (and she has even kindly offered to finance "professional" companionship) but I don't ever openly "appear" to take her up on her offer as I know it would make her feel more inadequate than she already does. I also know that as much as she may nag me to "see someone" or "get a girlfriend" (affair style) a professional is a much better choice in so many ways as I don't ever risk breaking some girl's heart. With regard to not getting caught, your SO is the smartest most Sherlock Holmes style detective in the world as she may know you better than you know yourself and certainly has a basis to go on if you break your routine in anyway. But back to the point I am trying to make about judgement, I don't think we have the right to judge others if they are not hurting anyone and we haven't walked a mile in their shoes. While some marriages have been negatively affected when a wife finds out that her husband has visited a professional companion or service provider I think the following must be pointed out: Some marriages have been saved by this also. One wonders about the ratio of marriages negatively affected by this industry compared to alcohol, drugs, money problems and real affairs (as opposed to a "professional" NSA relationship). It's all about the choices we make whatever the "problem" is. I think "society doesn't condone" this industry openly but secretly most intelligent people that would openly object recognize more about it than they would admit publicly. Of course there is always the "paying makes you less of a man" camp and I feel just the opposite is true. I feel a lot more like a man should by not toying with some innocent girl's emotions.

I like Penelope because I have had the supreme pleasure of meeting her and once you have you can't help but like her a lot! See is truly one of a kind. Una de las creaciones más perfectas de Dios. (One of God's most perfect creations).

I have to say YES! I know and understand women like to look their very best and many men like them to be dressed just so. I think however, if you can accept that some men are attracted to a woman that is dressed up and wearing lots of makeup then you have to accept that some men are equally impressed by and attracted to natural beauty that doesn't have to be hidden behind makeup (or fancy apparel). Even a defect that might otherwise get covered is beautiful because of it's honesty (to me). Hoodies are sexy!

I am always impressed by the people here on CERB. Even people that don't know Jennigurl27 "care" -- I know I certainly do! There really are no simple "words" that can provide comfort on the loss of a loved one but an entire tread of messages of condolences and best wishes from people you know and some you don't might just help! My best wishes to you, Jennigurl27.

Digital cameras all have a self timer and auto focus so all you need is one that can be mounted on a tripod (and of course a tripod) and this will do way better than your phone. However, taking pictures of ones self is not as easy to get good natural looking pictures as you might think it would be, so I would think the ultimate tripod (you don't have to pay for) is any willing client and I'm sure you would have more than a few volunteers. And along the same lines, perhaps you don't even need to invest in the expense of a good camera, perhaps just your own memory card for someone else's. In any event, anything that does 14 megapixels with 8 - 10 times optical zoom is good. I paid about $60 for my GE X55 which looks like an SLR and does a great job.

Depending on the circumstances and whatever kind of relationship I had with her, it could be a supreme honour or too risky -- stay away. However, I think well reviewed CERB ladies with a good reputation are something different anyways. There have been a couple of cases in Halifax/Dartmouth of the girl's boyfriend waiting to rob the client at gun point who is directed to an address that has nothing to do with either of them, they just know he will have a certain quantity of cash with him and are waiting. Can't see how I'd ever fall into that trap but people do. I don't think it would be a problem if I can come and go without drawing any attention and know her (through really good reviews, meeting her somewhere else before or a personal recommendation from another SP that I trust - that carries a lot of weight), in fact at that point I'd probably consider it more of an honour to be invited to the ladies home if she has a good reputation. If I was going to see someone I had never met and she invited me to her home (never having met me before) particularly when I am travelling so I am on her home turf and not mine I'm sure you can understand there could be a red flag or two. So this could, depending on the circumstances, be just as good as it is bad in other circumstances.

Please don't forget that being an SP is a "real" a job as it gets. It's a completely honourable vocation. Current I do two completely different jobs, so I suppose one has to point out that you can to. Life has no greater gift to give than doing what makes you the happiest. It might be easier to transition to a different job if never really completely do. Rather than think of it as something you will miss or have to give up completely it can be something you simply have less time for but those things we really enjoy doing but don't have as much time for are better when we do have a little time for them. I've gone through switching vocations a couple of times and it was always easier when I didn't truly switch but made two part time jobs into one full time job (and always comforting to know that if one of my part time jobs didn't work out I can go back to the other full on). Of course I've never been an SP but I find both my jobs I now have more quality over quantity.