EsQ69

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/07/30/fbi-sting-rescues-105-kids-nabs-159-pimps-but-what-about-the-johns.html

[URL="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/authors/amberly-mcateer"][COLOR=#0066cc]Amberly McAteer[/COLOR][/URL] The Globe and Mail Published Thursday, Jul. 18 2013, 4:29 PM EDT Last updated Thursday, Jul. 18 2013, 5:12 PM EDT [I][B]Welcome to Sex Qs, a weekly column where The Globeâ??s Amberly McAteer seeks answers to your sex questions, talking to sexperts and regular Canadians alike. Have a question? Fire away:[/B][/I] [COLOR=#0066cc][email protected][/COLOR] [I][B](All questions will be published anonymously.)[/B][/I] [B]The question:[/B] I consider myself quite the feminist â?? I really think gender equality is very important, but sex with my new boyfriend has me questioning my feminist ways. We have been having sex for three weeks now and it gets physical. To my surprise, I have found I like to be dominated. He hits me during sex and chokes me, and I actually like it. I find myself asking for it. How can I be a feminist and still enjoy this? [B][B]The answer:[/B] [/B] [B]Youâ??re not alone. Actually, I couldnâ??t find a single woman who didnâ??t, on some level, enjoy submission, à la Anastasia-Christian Grey style. Of course that isnâ??t to say that a woman who would fully reject [I]50 Shades[/I] doesnâ??t exist. But there is a reason why the dom-sub erotic trilogy is an international bestseller, and believe you me, itâ??s not for the beautiful prose.[/B] Pain and sex, power and pleasure: These are the two sides of the same leather-tassled furry-zebra handcuffs. To me, the thrill of a good bedroom romp is surprise and respect, with a little dash of verboten thrown in. Only you can determine what that dash is. Colleagues blushed, friends gushed and every softball girl, dog-park lady, and oversharing waitress I asked about bedroom domination said theyâ??d consider themselves a feminist, but they also enjoy being â??thrown around a littleâ? by their partner. â??Thereâ??s a time and a place to be manhandled,â? says my best friend, â??and itâ??s so good when itâ??s done right.â? Still, I should have braced myself for the full confession from Alexandra, my real-estate agent and probably the most powerful, self-confident woman I know. (Picture successful, convertible-driving, classic-rock hot blonde.) â??Oh, yeah, I totally want to be respectfully choked,â? she offers without hesitation. â??I want to be spanked and told itâ??s time to punish me. â?¦ I like to feel like he owns me a bit.â? Good for her, I say, trying to play it cool. She knows what she wants and asks for it â?? which is, I surmise, the ultimate definition of a feminist. Alexandra says her love of power in her professional career translates to a â??power fetishâ? in bed. â??Listen, the last thing I want to do after spending the day telling people what to do and how to do it at work is to come home and dictate what happens in the bedroom.â? And hereâ??s good news for all of us â?? er, all of you. A new study involving 902 volunteers, from last monthâ??s Journal of Sexual Medicine, found people who are into kinky sex â?? particularly those who have a thing for bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism â?? are more emotionally stable and more secure in their relationships than their â??vanillaâ? counterparts. Still, I get a little sweaty advising you that physical abuse is cool. The choking also sounds dangerous, particularly since heâ??s a new boyfriend. So I called a professional pain-inflicter, Montreal dominatrix Mistress Magnum. A quick glance at her Twitter account at my desk and Iâ??m feeling a little short of air myself. â??You have to really trust someone to want them to choke you. You are honouring your dom with that trust,â? says Magnum, whose hourly sessions can run up to $360 and whose website lists dozens of menu options. â??With neck play, itâ??s very high risk behaviour, â?? she says from her home office. â??In the moment youâ??re so passionate and having this hot amazing sex, and the next you could be dead.â? She advises you to talk to your new guy about the choking before it happens again. Let him know you like it, but establish a safety signal with him before he places his hands around your neck. And this should go without saying, but letâ??s say it any way: If ever there is a time this â??bedroom playâ? is non-consensual, you end that relationship on the spot. Magnum has â??playedâ? with submissive females and says women have a much higher pain threshold in the moment, so know when enough is enough. â??She has to feel safe, even when sheâ??s being choked.â? Magnum says your man should look into â??smart waysâ? to inflict pain, too, ones that donâ??t leave marks or bruises. Start by warming up the skin: â??You lightly slap the area to increase blood flow, then you can really start going,â? she instructs, in such a way it sounds lackadaisical for an office interview in the middle of the afternoon. Still, Magnum says all of this is perfectly normal, although she understands that â??emotionally it might cross some wires.â? Sheâ??s a good person who wants people to be happy in their â??regularâ? lives. What you like in the bedroom shouldnâ??t interfere with how you define yourself. Just as Magnum, who practices a service called ball-busting behind closed doors (you donâ??t want to know), is actually a very sensitive, caring woman in real life, so too are you a feminist who likes to be dominated. From the most overly analytical person youâ??ll ever meet, I say stop overthinking this: Turn off the â??what does this say about meâ? girl brain and enjoy the ride. All is fair in love and war and the bedroom. You like what you like; if itâ??s choking, so be it. But in sex, as in all relationships, safety, communication and trust is key.

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Janine Benedet Legalization wouldn't make prostitutes safe Janine Benedet The Globe and Mail Published Tuesday, Oct. 06 2009, 5:52 PM EDT Last updated Thursday, Oct. 15 2009, 2:30 AM EDT 67 comments Supporters of the prostitution industry want us to believe that women would be safe if men's purchase of women for sex is legalized. In the name of women's security, they are arguing in an Ontario court this week that male johns and pimps have a constitutional right to buy and sell women. They are claiming that prostitution is women's work and that legalizing it would advance women's liberty. Opposition is dismissed as based on "moral panic." A closer look at the violent reality of prostitution exposes the utter fallacy of these claims. Andrew Evans was convicted of second-degree murder by a jury in Vancouver last week for the 2007 killing of Nicole Parisien, a 33-year-old aboriginal woman. Mr. Evans admitted that he killed Ms. Parisien by beating and strangling her and that he dumped her body in the bushes. The only legal issue was whether he intended to kill her when he attacked her. The answer determined whether he was guilty of murder or manslaughter. Legally, this case broke no new ground. But a closer look tells us a lot about male violence against women and its relationship to prostitution. Mr. Evans told the police that he contacted Ms. Parisien after finding her through the "erotic services" category on ----------. The Kitsilano apartment where they met was not her home; the evidence suggested that it was used regularly for prostitution. Online services such as ---------- are becoming an increasingly important venue for the advertising of prostitution. Mr. Evans said he agreed to pay Ms. Parisien $200. He became enraged when she couldn't maintain his erection, hitting her and choking her to death. The murders of aboriginal women, mostly by white men, sometimes connected to the prostitution industry, are all too common in this country. Aboriginal women's groups and Amnesty International have documented hundreds of cases of missing and murdered women. Many have not been solved or even fully investigated, the disappearances blamed on the women's "high-risk" lifestyle. Being prostituted places women at risk, to be sure, but it is not a "lifestyle" that aboriginal women just happen to choose in larger numbers than other women. Promoters of prostitution want the public to believe that prostitution is safe when it happens indoors. But moving prostitution out of sight does nothing more than keep the abuse private and the abusers mostly anonymous. Mr. Evans was by all accounts a regular guy - a former member of his university rugby team who had volunteered as a peer counsellor. But he was possessed of a sense of male sexual entitlement that led him to believe that he should be able to buy a woman who would meet his sexual demands and that she was worth so little that she could be physically assaulted when she failed to do so. Ms. Parisien's family has rejected the suggestion that she was a prostitute, maintaining that she was an "escort." This is an understandable response to grief. But dressing up this abuse as a form of work obscures its casual brutality. Ms. Parisien was advertised in a mainstream medium, she was prostituted at a prominent apartment building, the suite was monitored with a living-room security camera and yet she died within a minute or two of Mr. Evans's first blow. Legalizing men's purchase of women for sex would change nothing about the arrangement through which Mr. Evans met and killed Ms. Parisien, but it would officially confirm his belief that he was entitled to use her body until he was satisfied. It would also absolve the state from doing anything to address the social conditions that produce a supply of women to be prostituted, or providing the necessary support for women to exit. The violence in prostitution comes not from the law, but from male pimps and buyers such as Andrew Evans. Canada ought to follow the example of Sweden, decriminalizing women like Nicole Parisien but criminalizing the men who buy and pimp them. We need laws that support the abolition of prostitution rather than its normalization. But if the courts strike down the prostitution laws because they find that men have a Charter-protected right to buy women's bodies, it will become much more difficult for Parliament to enact a law that recognizes prostitution as fundamentally contrary to women's equality. Janine Benedet is an associate professor in the faculty of law at the University of British Columbia

Midnight Oil - Beds Are Burning

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Van Morrison - Days Like This http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BteIwbKU_iQ Van Morrison - Sometimes We Cry Van Morrison - These Are The Day http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/newreply.php?do=newreply&noquote=1&p=475178 Van Morrison - Take Me Back http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/newreply.php?do=newreply&noquote=1&p=475178 Van Morrison - Someone Like You http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/newreply.php?do=newreply&noquote=1&p=475178 Van Morrison - Into The Mystic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVAnlke_xUY Van Morrison - Brown Eyed Girl Van Morrison - Have I Told You Lately

Uncle Kracker - You Make Me Smile