Sweet Emily J

The time is off for all of CERB. It's actually behind 11 minutes... And it's like that for everyone. :) I noticed it a while ago. When I post this, it will say 11:21, but it's actually 11:32 right now.

The 400 Blows :) Ha ha ha...

Bumping this thread just because it's fucking awesome!!! ;) xo

Eat It Right By Dan Savage http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=6290 ___________________________ I got 500 letters from straight women with advice for men on the whole pussy-eating subject. Why haven't these letters appeared in this column? Well, I have a bias: I'm gay. Given a choice between reading hundreds of e-mails about eating pussy or, say, talking to a good-looking male porn star about his online underwear sales, well, I'm going to go with the porn star every time. While I'm aware that reading about cunnilingus is one of my occupational hazards (along with handling letters from people who eat poo), that awareness doesn't make me any less reluctant to do so. Don't get me wrong, ladies. I am all for cunnilingus. Straight men, in my opinion, are obligated to provide it. I'm as pro-cunnilingus as a gay man can get, but I guess you could say I'm pro-cunnilingus in the abstract. I'm pro-eating pussy in the same way I'm, say, pro-round-the-clock home nursing for incontinent paraplegics: I'm glad it happens, I just don't want to do it. But... I promised you a cunnilingus column, SGAFP, and a cunnilingus column you shall have. But what about my gay male readers? Columns about cunnilingus have something to offer straight men, straight women, and lesbians, but NOTHING to offer gay men. So to give my gay male readers a reason to slog through this column, I've included an item of particular interest to gay men. Okay, here are your cunnilingus tips, boys! Whatever you do, DO NOT use your teeth! Also try to keep the saliva down to a minimum. Been There Got it, boys? No teeth, and very little saliva. SALIVA, SALIVA, SALIVA: I can't overemphasize the importance of plenty of lubrication. Cumming from Cunnilingus No, wait--use saliva, boys, and lots of it. But no teeth. The word cunnilingus derives from two Latin words: cunnus (female genitals) and lingere (to lick). But the action should include not only the tongue, but the teeth. Tongue: soft, yet firm. Teeth: Nibble around down there! Pussy Prof No, wait--use your teeth to nibble, boys. I don't think it's necessary for a guy to spend much time in any other area than the clitoris. It's the Clit Focus on the clit, boys. A clit is not a doorbell. Please do not punch it repeatedly with your tongue. And explore the rest of my pussy. It has just as many sensitive nerve endings as my clit. Word of the Day No, wait--explore the whole pussy, boys. As a closeted gay college student, I turned to my straight friends for guidance on "the deed," and one bit of advice actually worked: Lick the alphabet! One word of caution: SHE CAN'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING! It is disastrous to let her hear you humming the alphabet song. This could imply that you are not sufficiently stimulated by her parts, as was the case with me. ABC Lick the alphabet, boys, but don't let her know you're licking the alphabet. I dated a guy who used "the alphabet song" to guide him along. Basically, he hummed the "A, B, C, D, E, F, G... H, I, J, K, LMNOP..." song while drawing the letters with his tongue on my clit. Now every time I hear the alphabet song I get wet! Alphabet Soup No, wait. Tell her you're licking the alphabet, and she'll get wet when she hears the alphabet song. Guys, don't slide your tongues in and out of our vaginas. All that feels like is a small, thin, limp dick. Most women don't like small, limp dicks, so why simulate one with your tongue? Clitty McNub Don't stick your tongues in, boys. A French guy once stuck his tongue in and swirled it around, pushing it really hard against the walls of my vagina. It was amazing. The American guys I've slept with tend to lap politely. I guess this must be one of those things the French come up with in their six weeks of annual paid vacation. French Kissed No, wait--stick your tongues in the vaginal canal, boys. So many guys are obsessed with penetration that they can't eat pussy without sticking their fingers in. Fellas, please, just lick me. Lick It Don't Stick It No fingers, boys, just tongue. Men need to know that the G-spot is located behind the ridge of the pubis bone, up and inside her vagina. Take your hand palm up, insert middle and pointer fingers, curl your fingers toward you like you're saying, "Come here." Do this while you lick, and she'll come right then and there. East Bay Hard Core No, wait--use your fingers and tongue, boys. Okay, let's review what we've learned: Use little saliva; use lots of saliva; use your teeth; don't use your teeth; focus on the clit; explore the whole pussy; lick the alphabet but don't tell her; lick the alphabet and tell her; don't stick your tongue in; stick your tongue in; don't stick your fingers in; stick your fingers in. I hope this was helpful. Of course, if it wasn't--if this column left you more confused--you might try ASKING THE WOMAN TO TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT SHE LIKES. Personally, two things kept coming up while I was reading my 500 e-mails about cunnilingus: my lunch, and the sneaking suspicion that not all women enjoy the same things when it comes to oral sex. So, boys, you'll have to ask. ____________________________ Seriously though, every woman is different and enjoys different kinds of stimulation :) However, here is a few links about DATY, which had some ideas and basic guidelines I thought were decent. :) http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?625-Advanced-Cunnilingus-Techniques http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/lilithland/2011/03/tutorial-performing-oral-sex-woman And one from our own NotchJohnson here on CERB: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=61539&highlight=daty And another amazing thread from Emiafish about DATY: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=118406

I like all cocks. :) Especially in their natural state. Hitchens and I share a position on circumcision and he explains it better than I ever could: As for cleanliness... ;) People mainly only like the way it looks, because through no fault of their own, for so many centuries that's what they've been used to seeing. Ancient naked Greek and Roman statues and sculptures, which depicted the ideal man of the times, generally only had uncircumcised penises, and circumsized ones were considered to be both unusual and visually unpleasing. (Large penises were also considered grotesque!) Michelangelo's "David" is a perfect example. With religion and such, things changed, and nowadays, especially in this porn era, you rarely see uncut cocks. However, I do think that is changing for the better. :) I have been lucky enough to play with some very nice uncut penises. I have also recently come across some beautiful pictures of some quite visually appealing uncircumcised cocks, and I suspect the trend will continue as the popularity of circumcision continues to decline.

Did you know... Since 2002, females have had a prostate! No... We did not suddenly grow one, but The Skene's Gland was renamed to the female prostate! :) From the "Prostate" wikipedia entry: The Skene's gland, also known as the paraurethral gland, found in females, is homologous to the prostate gland in males. However, anatomically, the uterus is in the same position as the prostate gland. In 2002 the Skene's gland was officially renamed to female prostate by the Federative International Committee on Anatomical Terminology. The female prostate, like the male prostate, secretes PSA and levels of this antigen rise in the presence of carcinoma of the gland. The gland also expels fluid, like the male prostate, during orgasm. Although sometimes still debated, many people believe that the liquid expelled during female ejaculation is comprised of diluted urine and prostate fluid.

I already posted that piggy in Post#2!! hehe! ;) Most people have never seen horseradish in it's original form...

LOL.. hahah Jesus. I should let you win just for that one. :bigclap: