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Brad

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Everything posted by Brad

  1. I've been thinking about how tricky the seemingly simple activity of conversation can be in our lifestyle. When on a date I like having some time to chat and make a connection, which means hopefully discussing more than the weather or how we're feeling that day. But of course some questions can be too prying or even go past inappropriate into offensive. Let's face it, when visiting an alluring woman you've been anticipating the pleasure of spending time with, especially if it's the first time meeting them, words don't necessarily come easily. Nerves can either make you seem boring or intrusive. I imagine ladies also find breaking the ice and getting more than two-word mumbled answers out of a gent is sometimes an issue. I thought it would be helpful to try a thread where we mention questions that should be avoided, but even more useful perhaps share some topics of conversation that can be meaningful and fun. Good topics/questions/ice breakers: --Do you like to travel? Where would most love to visit? (can often lead to amusing stories, shared interests, discussion of future, etc) --A lot of ladies will post some of their interests on their website (which I appreciate). Take a peek, and maybe you'll notice a sports team, author, movie, etc that you both like. It can be a good ice-breaker and easy connection. --Any specialty cooking dishes/favourite meal? (or odd foods you hate). When I admit I don't like any kind of cheese that always gets a reaction! --Do you have any pets (some of my biggest laughs with a date are sharing and one-upping each other with stories about the crazy antics of our pets. I think I disappointed one lady when I had to admit the scratches down my back were not a sign of my sexual prowess but rather a sneaky cat who used me as climbing pole to get up on a shelf). --Are you a salty snack person or a chocolate person? Seriously, this is vital insight into a person. Not quite as much as asking whether they believe toilet paper should be hung over or under...but that's a second date question ;) Questions to avoid: --Have you been busy? (anything that makes it sound like you're prying into how many people a lady has seen) --How often do you get tested? --Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife Obviously personal tastes will play a part, but I'd love to hear any others people have to add, especially those questions/topics that fall on the good side and can lead to a real conversation without seeming like you're prying.
  2. It is sad and unnecessarily , but perhaps the difference is, as you say, you've seen hundreds of ladies in hotels over thirty years. I think sometimes those with more experience forget just how incredibly nerve-wracking it was the first time. Now, for this particular gent, I'm willing to trust Emily's intuition. She was there and is experienced enough that if she says it was more than just the usual nerves in his case, then I believe her. But looking at some of the responses to this thread in general it does seem like some have forgotten what it was like when new. Understandable, of course, but worth keeping in mind. I know I was very lucky that my first lady was so patient, as I made some mistakes that still make me shake my head at myself when I think back to them (forgot to leave the envelope out in the open despite reading over her website half a dozen times, etc). The one time I was almost late was because I managed to take a wrong turn heading to a location in my own city...and worse, it was a place I'd even been to once before! I can also see Zeno's point that sometimes it can be conflicting to know as what counts as "too personal". I certainly wouldn't have classified anything Emily asked in this case as being intrusive, but then, I also have to admit I wouldn't have realized asking someone what they study was so offensive, as others have now pointed out. But I guess that's one thing I like about this board, it helps me to keep learning! Anyway, I don't mean to hijack this thread, since as I say I'm not questioning Emily's take on this particular situation and gent, and it certainly doesn't sound like there was anyway it could have ended happily with someone so paranoid and conflicting. But I did just want to observe that - in general - I think we can sometimes forget how we felt our first time and what those nerves can make us do.
  3. Well, one thing it seems you have going for you is communication. You both want to make sure you feel safe talking about ideas and are equally comfortable saying what you think you might like and not like. As long as you're safe and keen on communicating as you explore, it will help a great deal. I'd also advise based on your phrasing and tone is to remember you can go slow: Thinking bondage might be fun? Try a blindfold only or perhaps gentle restraints before ordering the whips and leather gear! Wondering if roleplay or a toy might be fun to add? Again, start simple! Considering adding a third person? What about seeing if someone would let you just watch them first before having them join you. And if you do have someone join you make sure you've talked in full about what is allowed and what is out of bounds, and again reassure that at any time anyone is allowed to slow or stop things. You get the idea. In any event, happy exploring!
  4. Always a fan of variety so I can be attracted to all colours (and lengths), but if I had to pick one it's red hair for me. This is also assuming we're only talking naturally occurring colours. My attention is always grabbed (in a positive way!) by someone who was creative or adventurous with dye, and gone blue or added green streaks, etc. Do an image google search for "northern lights hair" and tell me that doesn't look cool?! :)
  5. Brad

    kisses

    Me, when lips pay attention to my earlobe:
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