PatrickGC

Before delving into the links Samantha's posted in her opening message for this thread I feel that it is important to point out that the industry as a whole is making progress. However like all issues which involve social change on a deep level this takes tremendous amounts of effort, commitment and time. The questions being raised go to the very heart of how people treat each other not only in intimate ways, but on a social day-to-day level as well. The implications are far-reaching from the obvious sex worker and client all the way to how care is provided in the medical system. Because again we are talking about human needs and not just the bare essentials to keep someone alive. Indeed, the battle for the rights and safety of sex workers challenges many boundaries people have erected to ignore other's humanity. This is why there are so many factions and extreme viewpoints. But things are changing for the better in a fair number of areas: --]/b] The media is beginning to carry alternate not quite so slanted articles and debates. --]/b] Health departments across Canada are beginning to quietly and honestly talk about sexual needs. [Thank goodness for horny, loudmouthed people in wheelchairs etc.!] And despite the prevalence of the "Nordic model solution" in right wing articles, I believe that the general public is beginning to consider the sex industry as a legitimate and desired career choice. PatrickGC

I presume such a wish would include a staff of, "appropriately qualified" chauffeurs. After all: What is image alone? One must have splendor along the way. PatrickGC

Taking a photo which turned out perfectly. That made my day! As we move on through spring, sailing toward summer. Here it is for anyone and everyone to enjoy if they so wish. I saturated the colors and underexposed it somewhat in order to bring out the shadows. The result had me "dancing in the streets" I must say. Have a great day and take care. PatrickGC

Marvelous Midnight Massage, 100 plus messages! I look forward to your thoughtful and engaging correspondences. You're helping to keep the community hopping :) Thank you, and congratulations once again! PatrickGC

Hello capital hunter: In regards to sex outside of marriage etc. I think the Wiccan believe might be the exception. The question you pose is very complex because it deals with how people fundamentally see their relationship with religion and God. You will probably receive a wide variety of answers from a vast array of prospective. There is something remarkable that I have noticed here on CERB and indeed with most long-term service providers. A deep sense of humanity, and awareness of the person and their situation in life that goes considerably farther than what is norm. I suspect this is also true of long-term clients. This very thread is an excellent example. Such an unbiased and open question is not likely to be found on face book. No matter how it goes. It shows that the spirit [or spirits as the case may be] is integral to this community of people. Take care, PatrickGC

I am in total agreement as well. Personally I would shy away from any person or conversation which shifted in intent from a casual play business proposition. That is a clear indication of problems ahead it regardless of the original intent. It also does a disservice in directly to other workers because it makes a mess of boundaries for readers, who might carry their assumptions over to other sites and conversations. PatrickGC

This one made me laugh: For years, I have frequented a small computer store here in Vancouver. It really is Nerd-Nirvana, and died being a geek love the place. It said that "love is blind" and it certainly is the case, because.... For the same number of years, in the same building with their door truly side-by-side the computer store is a massage parlor. Which I never noticed! A friend of mine had gone to buy some parts for me. She noticed right away that exceptionally happy massage parlor patrons were emerging out of the door I'd never noticed. I think this is going to take some time to live down :) PatrickGC

Futileresistenz: You are not off-topic at all. Rather, your comments highlight the humanity which is present between people involved in these relationships in spite of the mainstream perceptions. That says a tremendous amount about the beautiful artisans and their clients. Indeed it does go way beyond the accepted definition of "hobby" and the like terms which, I agree ultimately do a disservice to people. Perhaps the mainstream has a lot to learn from sex workers and their clients because what is being said here is that there is great humanity, fun, and in the same time [hopefully] makes money. These terms are not mutually exclusive despite what the mainstream would have the world believe. This works because people refuse to be constrained by labels. Front and center though it is our acknowledgment of how human and important erotic connection is. The very word "erotic" encompasses so much of the human experience; unlike other terms it is inclusive of variation.-apologies if I'm rambling here. The thoughts are coming fast and furious. Hopefully however it is making some sense- This discussion really does blow the stereotypes out of the water! Putting front and center people's humanity and how much fun and important it is. PatrickGC Additional Comments: Piano8950: "An interactive spa session." What a marvelous description! One worker I was seeing what did the other end of town meaning that I had to travel across the Berard Street Bridge in Vancouver where I live. Crossing the bridge on my electric scooter on a chilly afternoon, I arrived quite cold. However, after the spa session, which obviously worked also on my mind, I traveled back across the bridge feeling absolutely toasty warm. It could it snowed and I don't think that would have noticed. Yes indeed there was this spring in my step. :) PatrickGC

Being disabled and a client of sex workers over the years means, for me, a conscious effort to avoid using labels and stereotypes in order to keep the issue focused on people's humanity, and indeed the right to great sex for everyone regardless of their standing in society. In other words all people are human beings first and foremost and all are entitled to full expression and experience in carrying on their lives. For me a date with someone who has made sex and eroticism their profession, is in many ways far more meaningful than just the physical aspects. There is a large emotional very personal aspect. As you might have guessed I am a romantic, and wouldn't have it any other way :). I have spent time with true masters of their field. Indeed "artisans" in the highest sense in the work. But that too is just another form of label. One which is meant to infer high praise in this context. Initially, and with the urging of a few wise friends, I went on my first eight as a form of rebellion against the not-so-subtle forms of marginalization the health-care system implies. It very quickly evolved into "Wow, this is what I've been missing!" It quickly evolved into something which is very integral to my life. Earlier today I noticed the terms "hobby" and "hobbyist" which denote for me a much more casual [perhaps less important] perspective. Which got me thinking: Where does the sex worker/date experienced fit for you? From both the client and worker perspective. So let the discussion commence. From casual, hobby, art form, or is it a "a life's calling" as one person referred to it years ago, how far-reaching is the spectrum? PatrickGC

Simple words posted on my fridge: PatrickGC

Here are two mystical queries: [the first of which, is ageless, while the second is its more modern counterpart.] Why is it that: The library book you want is inevitably checked out? And.... All the good content on YouTube is never available in Canada? The latter issue really riles the geek in me. And I really have to resist the urge... enough said. PatrickGC

Diving into a juicy pear/pair... now that idea can be taken so many ways, it simply must make everyone smile! Have a great Friday one and all. Actually, wait a minute. Extended that wish for Friday to cover the entire weekend. PatrickGC

Hello Jessica : Welcome aboard! CERB is a marvelous place. The sense of community is tremendous. I have been on the Internet for a very long time and can safely say that the humanity and general fun way he outshines the rest :). Somehow, the wide range of people here, really do work together and get along. It's like a great mystery story is well. Look around, ask a question, no matter what you "know" there are more places to look in here, then pieces in a leprechaun's pot of gold. All the best. Take care, and see you online. PatrickGC

Ah, yes. It's their face, and to tell you the truth, not too much else matters [within reason that is a good mind and heart are equally important]. I'm a total romantic. One eloquent smile with aware thoughtful eyes, and I'm happily done! :) PatrickGC

Hello kimmyxoxo: You are totally within your rights here and not being unfair at all. The client on the other hand is being very judgmental. He has no right to assume that he has any knowledge of what it is to be you. Further, in my humble opinion, this would be an indication that he does not respect personal boundaries. In short, I am in total agreement with the comments thus far: report him to the moderator. Take care, PatrickGC

Hi Serena: As a client I have met many creative articulate service providers, who at one time or another have run into or had to deal with horrendous agencies. Here in Vancouver there had been a number of attempts to establish and maintain "micro brothels". Unfortunately the police decided to make an example of one of them last year and they were shut down. But the idea behind the micro brothel concept rocks! A small business in which everyone is invested and has a voice. We need a micro brothel network to empower and inspire all. Including independent workers. It drives me crazy when I read about abuse in business owners who treat people like chattel. I know, I am only familiar with the business from the client side, but I really do want to lend you support in what ever way possible. Because I have had many joyous experiences from independent workers and one small agency. Please do not give up hope or become consumed with permanent anger. The work you do is vital in so many unspoken ways and I for one, would not be as happy in life if it weren't for the sincere people of this industry. Thank you, and take care. PatrickGC

What makes me smile... The simple knowledge that wonderful people exist, and a great many of them are here on CERB. No matter what time of the day you visit here, there is always some playful and kind discussion going on. From this silly to the spectacular, with sincere kindness and concern this is a true "community-based-organization" in the fullest sense of the term. That's what makes me smile. Thank you one and all! PatrickGC

OK. This may not seem all that spectacular. Perhaps it was just a moment and the overall context, but... Finding some Super Green bananas left by a friend in my food bowl sitting on the kitchen counter. They almost glowed with an aura. Not sure if they identified with our Irish heritage, my middle name is Gallagher. Or, if it was just the alien acting up at me once again :) Either way they truly are: Ault of This World! PatrickGC

Indeed! Well put. When one thinks about it, all great achievements, all the "Eureka moments" which people have shared throughout the ages, all have one thing in common: seeing beyond the obvious status quo and powerful intimate moments. The human body may survive on food, but intimacy and acknowledgment is really the only way the spirit of an individual can grow. This may sound trite but it really is at the core of the human equation. Creativity is always the result of a powerful emotion. There would be no creation without the desire to do so in the first place. Thank you so much for the wonderful post :) PatrickGC Additional Comments: And while this thread is moving along on the main topic lets me hijack it for a moment to mention an issue which is equally as important and more widespread than most people think. Women with Disabilities. Face essentially the same issues discussed here and thus far. Where do they get meaningful, sincere service? This is a call to all the open-minded "Gigolos" out there. There is a customer base just waiting for you! I suspect the reason we don't hear more about this, is because women face more stigma on all fronts in society today. If we're going to be truly just an open in addressing these needs this must be an inclusive topic for all. Did I mention gay, lesbian, transgendered etc.? The full rainbow of lifestyles and orientations... Yahoo for variety, they need service too! Food for thought. .... and now let us continue the thread. PatrickGC "Down with marginalization! Up with inclusion! [and everything else :) ] ."

One quick thought which occurred to me right after Summer's post. Location, are you looking for someone who lives in your city explicitly? There are many members who travel across Canada etc. regularly. Where they live doesn't make a difference to the date and would greatly increase the possibilities. PatrickGC

Hello tas510: As a fellow disabled member and a longtime advocate of sexual rights I know all too well some of the difficulties you face. The people here have really hit the nail on the head as far as advice. One aspect which hasn't been mentioned thus far, and it can be a sticky one for some people because it in itself can carry a stigma of its own, is the consideration of a potential client on a fixed income, which includes myself. What follows, is my methodology to insure that all needs are met both in regards to myself and the service provider. If none of this is applicable to your situation please do feel free to ignore it. I actually keep a separate account exclusively for service provider dates. [For some reason, overtime this has become known as my "Secret Squirrel Account" :) I can hear the psychoanalysis having a field day with regards to that title.] Having the money separate really does take the pressure off on so many levels. You probably have some idea of what a, if there is such a thing, "typical" date costs after looking around CERB. Aim for that; it may take some time, but you know it will happen. Each letter of introduction send out to it perspective service provider is personalized. I spent a fair bit of time reading the individual's web site and forum messages to anticipate any concerns they may have. This helps encourage dialogue. When it comes to disability, some service providers can be rather shy about asking questions directly. It is a human trait we all share. Encourage people to ask questions in her own words. Provide links to articles related to your particular condition so they can look infomation up on their own, if they want to. Be clear about what you expect and want. [i avoid acronyms to encourage openness and clarity. The huge arraying of these short hands also drive my voice dictation software crazy.] If you are unsure about how to accomplish something, say that too. Sex workers are incredibly creative people who love to explore. I explicitly state in each letter that I am on a fixed income. But beyond that though, I do not make it an issue or haggle about the price. Simply stating that I may not be the most frequent client is sufficient. It keeps things honest and clear. Removing another potential stumbling block to communication. Unless they prefer phone calls as the initial communication. I only contact them directly after a successful dialogue via e-mail has been established.. Finally, do not expect a reply immediately. Some people have a large amount of e-mail to go through. Do not be disheartened if there is no reply. But do keep on looking. One last thing. If you're inclined to be apolitical in this regard. A number of years ago a grass-roots group, here in Vancouver B.C. was formed by disabled persons and health professionals to explore and expand the issue of sexuality for the disabled. The "Equitable Access to Sexual Expression" group. (EASE) Things are starting to rock and roll. They are beginning to open up dialogues all over the place, on many fronts. I encourage you and all interested members to check them out! Here is their face book page. A web site is in the works. Take care, PatrickGC

Porthos, I think that these situations can succeed. Things don't have to be "that way". People are infinitely varied and capable of so much. Being physically disabled I am aware of several relationships between service providers and clients which defy the common assumptions people make. However there is place for them tell their story. So these unique relationships can become isolating in themselves for all concerned. I only mention disability because that is the grapevine I am plugged into. But this happens across the human spectrum. This thread is a marvelous beginning! Perhaps it's time here on CERB to create a new forum dedicated to these untold stories. I am sure it would help a lot of people out and thought-provoking for others. Take care, PatrickGC

Hello RG Ed and all: Actually these groups do know, for the most part, how things really work. But they have a closed viewpoint on how the world should work and are frequently blinded by anger, and a fundamentalist belief in their own propaganda. To make matters worse once a group gets funding and becomes established for saving the [insert your favorite stereotype here] "victim" they are more likely to maintain the stereotypes. This behavior becomes entrenched in both subtle and explicit ways. From the obvious terminology used, emotionally loaded phrases for example, to never including the customer in discussions, or indeed acknowledging both parties as fully human, not just nameless stereotypes.. As recipients of sex workers talents and services we must work hard to remember that what ever form our appreciation takes it never infers anything aside from appreciation of their talents. This is an important point that these groups, and indeed most of the marketing in the modern world, deliberately confuse. The exchange of money never infers rights over anyone. Therefore, between consenting adults both under no duress, the victim cannot exist. When everyone is treated with respect and all needs are met the stereotypes fall apart. But when human beings are classified by the adoption of the stereotypes etc. in any way the individual or group becomes marginalized and this is where the harm begins. This obviously goes way beyond the sex industry. It speaks to how we treat each other in our day-to-day lives and how deep these impressions go. Perhaps the industry which includes some of the sexiest and smartest people I know will ultimately teach the world a thing or two about true decency and humanity. I have had many wonderful times and met truly colorful people on the journey thus far. So thanks for the service :) - past, and future-here's a few million roses! They are always given in appreciation of the talent and sensitivity showing to the client. Keep it human and keep it inclusive of the differences. I dare the media, large or small to put together nonbiased articles including the provider and customer. I bet there are some wonderful untold stories out there. Take care, thanks for speaking out RG. PatrickGC

Summer, you make valid points about the collateral damage which can occur and frequently does when someone in the industry "comes out". So I think it behooves the rest of us, client and professional, who can speak in public to continually respond articles, joining groups and continue to put political pressure on those in power. News articles like these are pure propaganda and a sheen on the advocacy group that works to be assisting the workers. If this was the 1950s they would also be labeling us, using the then current stereotype of "Communist". It also infuriates me that the media is guilty of using children to further their own marketing ends. Child abuse, abuse of anyone in general, and the consensual act of paid sex are entirely different topics. Sincerely, One fuming client.... who will never shut up until all people in sex work are treated as human beings and fully respected for their power and creativity. PatrickGC PS: I have been remiss and inconsistent in the last year with my speaking out in this regard, due to health issues both physical and mental however I am slowly getting back on track.

Hello Roamingguy: I don't have a Samsung phone, but after looking at the manual of one of their Galaxy series phones, here is a suggestion you can try it someone else does not come forth with an answer. This is an educated guess of the most generic kind. It simply involves removing all the cookies from the browser in the phone. Two provisos: 1. This works only asked you to use the phones built in Web browser to access the mail. Not a stand-alone custom application. And; 2. This will result in the phone forgetting all of the web site passwords. You will have to reenter them again. A. From the phone's home screen, select the browser icon. B. Once the browser is up and running, select "menu". C. Select settings item and look for an option to clear the cookies. If there is a security section all features related to cookies will probably be located in there. Here is the location of the Samsung Galaxy user manual in PDF format. Please note this address is not hosted by Samsung. For some reason I was unable to download from their official site today. http://www.mybullfrog.com/wp-content/themes/Blank-1-right/manuals/sam_galaxy_tab_10_english.pdf Take care, PatrickGC