PatrickGC

Interesting. While writing this response I became aware that what is meant by "living alone" can vary dramatically from person-to-person and indeed is influenced by a large number of factors. Apologies if it is a little off topic. Choosing to live alone does require that one knows themselves. In order for myself to be truly creative requires periods of solitude, in order to focus on the project at hand. From time to time even my closest friends have been, politely, "shown the door". It is definitely not a lifestyle choice for everyone, and perhaps in the final analysis, no one truly lives alone for extended periods of time. Even a monk or nine as a social network within their respective monasteries. Presumably, people replying to this thread are not doing so from some cloistered Abby :), so perhaps choosing this lifestyle is an attempt to create that personal space, not so much because you can do your own thing, but because it is cannot be intruded upon easily. A personal space which is incredibly well defined by walls and the door. I would not be surprised if among those people that can afford it, that the number of persons living alone by choice is on the rise. However, because we are so interconnected with technology, is anyone ever truly living alone, or by their own timetable? For me the choice it is to enforce a sacred space so I can be creative. And occasionally I have for a few days at a time, pulled the plug on the Internet. PatrickGC

-------- Just found the BB code instructions/listing for this site here. It doesn't however explain why there is a problem with bulleted lists. -------- Hello Samantha: I have experienced similar issues with the bullet functions and code. It seems some areas of the board have these basic features turned off. My usual method of creating a message is to write the message off-line using voice dictation, then add in the code by hand and paste the entire message at once into the reply box for the particular thread. Health issues have meant that I had been off-line for the better part of the year, however I am certain these basic features worked when I initially joined. It is likely that there's been a policy change or a software update to the site. So, here's an open request: Please Mr./ Ms. moderator or other layout inclined users, a cheat sheet (for lack of a better term) would be much appreciated listing what codes we cannot use for both BB code and HTML Just the other day I had to redo a nicely laid out message specifically for the very same reasons you have. The "list" command had been disallowed, and while the message was still quite readable, it was not as clear overall. Take care, PatrickGC PS: The BB code and HTML links lead to feature listings for each language for the curious out there :)

OK, absurd thought moment.. "I wonder how body lice being endangered will ultimately affect the food chain?" Or is it an absurd thought after all? :) PatrickGC

Reality, perceptions and the intricacies therein have always fascinated me.-I'm a curious sort! So, today I started a new book dealing with errors we all make in our day-to-day perceptions of the world. So far, it has been a tremendous read :) Book Informaition: Title: Blindspot - Hidden Biases of Good People Cover: Authers: Mahzarin R. Banaji and Anthony G. Greenwald Publisher: New York - Delacorte Press ISBN numbers: 9780553804645, 0553804642 eBook Publisher: Random House eBook ISBN number: 9780440423294 Take Care. PatrickGC

Hello again Karina and one and all: One trend I see a lot of nowadays is the desire to compartmentalize or develop rules for almost any situation. Many things in life cannot be broken down, without losing their value, in such discreet ways because often it is the larger context which gives the experience its full meaning and value. In other words, your lives and perceptions are unique to you. No one else can fully understand what it is to be you. We can only do so through the context, and coloring of our individual, always biased to some degree, perceptions. After some reflection I can personally say that the only true red flag I watch out for in any situation is the urgent/pressured flag which screams "A decision must be made now." on one level or another. Which in my book is an indication that the entirety of the situation is not being considered. Relationships evolve over time and that needs to be taken into account. Don't rush, but do proceed as you uniquely see fit. Take care, PatrickGC

Karina: The key point in this thread thus far seems to be: [paraphrasing] "Make sure both you and your client are on the same awareness level of emotionally and intellectually." In the current social climate, although things are improving, this is often much easier said than done. We are all products of the culture we are born into, and those influences run very deep; much deeper than we are often aware of when we initially embark on something which challenges us personally and society's boundaries. So a few months down the road either of you may find emotional strings being pulled you never knew you had. This will most likely be a long trip of discovery. And everyone involved[because it may involve ultimately friends and family] on the many levels will discover something. However, it is indeed worth the effort! Because as said earlier in the thread "you never know what you might be missing." Not only for both of you, but for others as well. It is a chance to change believe systems, one person at a time, or who knows. As a disabled activist I am by no means considered a bashful client, and by virtue of the condition being lifelong, I am quite used to breaking new ground socially and personally. However, for many people this opportunity/challenge does not come along. We all need challenge, it is how things change. This can therefore be a rare chance. Some of the best joy can be found over a long journey. Be as clear as you can be about where each of you are emotionally right now and realized that things will change in unexpected ways. Then proceed with the relationship they've all seems understood. All the Best. PatrickGC

Well, I'm a "Hottie". Ah, the wonderful month of July. Heat and I are on the first name basis... the warmth and passion of the wonderful intelligent soul. Just like a hot summer day, all around you is simmering with life and adventure. Why, indeed, would anyone want to rush that? -- not I. So while it is not a "perfect" raising on this scale, it certainly works for me. To say nothing of those hot summer nights. Take care, one and all. PatrickGC

Simply can't resist....:) Neither SUV, nor pickup truck. I went electric scooter long before such things were even trends. Truth be told it is related to a physical condition but knowing my predilection of going against the crowd [and occasionally common sense] I probably would've done the same even if I didn't have a physical disability. Regarding "Casual Jeans" it is not the icing that counts. It is the goodies which lay underneath, as well as, the heart and soul, which truly can rock the world! Take care, one and all: PatrickGC PS: Apologies for being away for such an extended period from CERB. Health issues have made this year challenging. I am very glad to be back and hope to reconnect with everyone!

It goes without saying that the very definition of marriage has changed dramatically over the years. One might say, that there is no longer a universally adopted definition, to say nothing of the expectations. Even though I am single I know true love exists and one of its defining characteristics is that it takes time and gets deeper with age. For the modern world that poses a great problem because we have compartmentalized our lives into snack size bytes. People are in a rush and they mistake the infatuation phase as love. Close connections with elders or grandparents also helps define love. It is then that a person understands that love is an ongoing experience. Again, many people have lost that historical perspective. Love is elusive, complicated, often not what one expects, and yet, with absolute certainty there. [i'm thinking of someone at this moment, and they know it to, who I have loved for 30 years and more.] PatrickGC (A true Cerb romantic.)

Connecting with a passerby for a brief moment, just a glance, a touch of spirit. In that second to see and feel smiles erupt on our faces. Like children on a playground who can no longer hold their enthusiasm in. There is something timeless about this and very human. That's what happened today :) To see discussion threads like this really is fantastic! I have been a member of the Cerb community for only a few days but I'm really getting the feeling that this is something special. Super glad to be part of the township. See you all on Main Street fellow citizens. Take care, PatrickGC

I have just been a Cerb member for a few days. After reading several posts, I can honestly say: I like Mrrnice2 because: - He is thoughtful and respectful of others. Understanding that any topic or way of life has many sides. - Engaging and appreciative of feedback. Never delivering just a monologue, but encourages dialogue. A community builder in the truest sense. - Honest critiques of his own perceptions. Mrrnice2 you are obviously very aware of your own inner dialogue. Thought-provoking to read.Thank you. Sincerely, PatrickGC

Christine, you nailed it on the head. It is indeed "pandering to the base". Getting everyone's emotions all revved up so that people stop thinking rationally. Last fall I was lucky enough to attended a presentation by Laura Agustín Author of Sex at the Margins, where she discussed the various perceptions of sex work around the world and how many issues had been deliberately distorted in order to support the growing "rescue industry". What struck me about her talk was her ability to objectively separate the issues. Not dispassionately, but with a critical view. This 24 minute YouTube is an excellent summation of her talk. One word of warning: The last few minutes show an actual police raid of a brothel in India. The authorities swooped in to save the workers -- Who clearly, don't want to be saved. In Canada, here we are in the 21st century, and the government is playing the same trick with strip clubs. I must be a bit of an oddball, because the first time I went to one I couldn't believe how well coordinated and powerful these women were. You don't move that fluidly and defy gravity unless one has put in a tremendous amount of time and does so on a continual basis. Then, I noticed how sexy they were. What a gift! PatrickGC

Northerntantra: I believe the Harper government immediately announced that it would appeal the Ontario High Court decision, and it is expected to go all the way to the Supreme Court of Canada eventually. You are correct lawmakers and politicians live in our society and are influenced by it. This is why it is so important for the sex worker community to set standards for conduct, service, and communication far above what is expected. We must each in our own way encourage people to see the humanity in both the worker and client. This does not mean one has to go out waving banners and flags jeopardizing one's privacy. Often subtle nudges which do not threaten but encourage people to ask questions can make profound changes over time. In everyone's family tree there is some relative which has been directly involved or affected by sex work in one fashion or another. I have talked to enough people over the years to know that everyone has met someone in the industry, they just don't know it. Take any large size apartment building in Vancouver and you'll find a home based business. As a community we can encourage discussion directly. Individuals can do the same thing in directly by identifying biases and encouraging wider more inclusive alternate perspectives. Let the creativity flow! [spontaneous thought: At a party, dressed the guys up as sex workers and set the women up as clients. A little role-play, a drop of wine, blend well with discussion.] Sorry, getting a little off-topic. I will start a thread, if one doesn't already exist, when my probationary period ends. Take care, PatrickGC

Oh, how are conservative federal government drives me crazy! Their actions make no logical sense, in that these restrictions will only serve to drive marginalized communities further underground thereby increasing the risk to all. Apologies, I haven't read all the posts and articles on this yet. But this really gets to me, the only ones to profit from this in the long run will be the politicians by way of the short-term media blitz it will create. This will do nothing for those really being trafficked because this does not address the long-term issues of poverty, violence and other factors which make someone vulnerable to abuse. Canceling or not extending visas takes away people's power and dignity to work as they choose. Quite literally driving them toward illegal activities, isolation and straight into harm's way. Also the adult industry is once again in the public's eye lumped together under the catchphrase "trafficking". These are really two vastly different issues. I will try to have something more constructive to say in a while. Right now I think I have to calm down with a nice cup of tea. PatrickGC

Hello one and all!: As a client with a, physical disability [Cerebral Palsy] of SP over the years and a new member here on CERB safety and security of all involved has always been of paramount importance. From my perspective as a client it is essential that everything is researched and disclosed before the first date. There is a huge trust component here, the worker has to do a lot more than on an average of date. So the security and reference issues are double-sided, and equally important. However, as mentioned earlier in the thread we do not have access to the same security checks as a mainstream business or consumer would. But if new clients and workers had a probationary period during which time a dialogue and peer review would take place in an online forum. This would help alleviate, fear and misconceptions. There need not be any personally identifiable information released. The emphasis would be on articulating needs and expectations. If this learning curve deliberately took a while it would go a long way toward weeding out the "bad apples". The mainstream media has for years submerge this industry in an ocean of stereotypes. So it is essential that clients and workers alike insist on some form of due diligence. What needs to be focused on now is creating a framework on how to do this collectively as workers and clients. Patrons on sex workers who can should also speak publicly on some level. This will go a long way toward humanizing and legitimizing not only this industry but an entire range of related health-care issues. Often in my humble opinion, a marvelous time with a sex worker can be the best health.-Man Have I Known Some Great People! PatrickGC PS: the above was written using voice dictation. Please excuse any typos which may have slipped through.