mister_crufty

This (safe for work) cartoon reminds me of how awful I am at meeting women. :-)

"History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme." - Mark Twain

I think you and I would get along marvelously. I too am a seeker of romance, chemistry and connection. It's by far the most important part of this hobby for me. I suppose there's never a guarantee of chemistry though...I'm often told I'm better in small doses. ;-)

Ooh..cool. Didn't look so I didn't know. Thanks Jessie. You've got something for everyone. Great post.

Awesome! Great memory. Love that movie.

Thanks for the support Notch, I just wanted to say that Notch is one of MANY men who have PMed me to tell me how much my story resonates with them. Some on this board have implied that I'm a hypocrite but I think it's just very complex. Everyone walks their own road and it's not as simple as 'leave her'. "Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)" -Walt Whitman

Lots of great eras in the past but I'm a sci-fi geek and I feel like I'm living the dream. Powerful little computers in the palms of our hands linked to a massive world wide data network? Instant availability of information? Ability to communicate in real time with almost anyone in the world for free? It's a magic time!

Darn it! I thought this was going to be tips for the gentlemen.... Reading it reminded me of the line from Eurotrip. "I saw a gay porno once. I didn't know until halfway in. The girls never came. The girls never came!" :-D Nice post Jessie. Hope your roommate is feeling better.

Thanks for the post Jade. Not everything about getting older sucks. It's nice to be more accepting of yourself and your quirks. Life is too short to be self-conscious.

Oh my god...I mention that in my alphabet poem: Q is for queef...some times kitties burp. I love them...I think they're hilarious. I had an ex with whom I could use certain angles (legs in the air) to basically make them on demand, like making fart noises with your armpit. We would laugh and laugh...she said it tickled. Good times. Thanks for the memory.

Nice! That reminds me of the super nerdy programmer/gamer version: Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base Are belong to you.

Awful joke: How is broccoli like anal sex? You're probably not going to like it if you were forced to have it as a kid. :-P I'm going straight to hell for that one.... Additional Comments: Although I know the above joke to be in exceptionally poor taste (which is why I find it funny), it was pointed out to me that it might be upsetting or triggering to some on this board. If this is the case for anyone, I sincerely apologize. It was not my intent and I will try to be more careful in the future.

Thanks man. Appreciate the encouragement. I truly am doing this for myself and I hope it works out well.

I know that feel bro...I know that feel.

That's where it gets tricky. We're incredibly compatible and really good together in almost every way but this one thing. We like each other and have fun together. Sex is just way more important to me than her. The question is whether sex is important enough to justify throwing away an entire future lifetime with a partner with whom you are so very compatible in other ways. A month ago I would have said yes. Now having found this outlet, I tend to say no. But am I just masking the symptoms? Is seeing providers just de-motivating me to look for real solutions to my problems? Is this sustainable in the long run? Questions I'm not ready to answer right now but I hope to learn to understand myself a bit better through all this. I think I'm sharing too much. People don't want to hear about this. But thanks for listening. I don't really have anyone else to talk to.

Yeah. I feel like I'm a failure as a husband because I can't figure out how to make it work. I feel like what I'm doing is evil and unethical and I really should do the honorable thing and divorce her but I'm afraid. Afraid to hurt her, afraid to lose my best friend, afraid to be alone. I justify this hobby because it makes me feel so good about myself and that hasn't happened in a long time. I'm not sure what I'm going to get out of this in the long run. My hope is that I will become a more complete and confident man whom she will find attractive again. I've been working out, taking better care of myself, doing some activities on my own instead of clinging to her all the time. I'm damaged and for whatever reason, this makes me feel less damaged. I'm not sure why and I don't know what the consequences ultimately will be but at the moment. I don't care. I think on some level that makes me a bad person. Happy now?

Awesome story. I love hearing this stuff. Makes me feel pretty darn vanilla though...God I'm boring! :-D

Interesting points. Really though, in theory the only 'cost' of this is financial so when examining whether it's 'worth it', that needs to be taken into account. The other theoretical cost would be self-esteem related, ie. feeling bad that one cannot get sex other than by paying for it. When I try to look at it objectively, it seems that there is no way an orgasm or two should be worth the price I'm paying. I can jerk off for free. What I find confusing is that emotionally and in every other way I don't have any regrets afterwards. No buyers remorse, no feelings of inadequacy. And if anything my self esteem is far better as a result. So that's where the confusion for me lies. I don't feel guilty about spending money. I don't feel bad about not being able to get laid. I expected to and was surprised that my feelings didn't match my predictions. What it proves is that I'm getting FAR FAR more from this than simply sex. Not sure exactly what but it's pretty awesome and I'm glad I found it.

I am or have been a nerd in all the traditional ways - games, D&D, comics, sci-fi, fantasy, computer programming, etc. Zelda is probably my favorite video game series of all time. I'm a geek in that I get completely obsessed about a new and interesting subject to the point that I spend all my time learning about it, reading about it, etc. I do this for a while and then move on to the next thing. At the moment, unfortunately for all of you who have to put up with me spamming the board, it's hobbying. Before that it was (and still is to some extent) cooking. I can cook some ridiculous stuff. Man, some of the bread I bake is world-rocking. I made my own sourdough culture that I keep in the fridge and feed periodically. It's been other things too. Sports sometimes...went full-retard on golf for quite a while. Practiced and played CONSTANTLY. It's completely random too. You never know what's gonna strike my fancy. Drives people around me nuts until I finally mellow out and stop taking it so seriously. I get seriously douchey about whatever I'm into at the moment. --sigh-- OCD is a terrible thing.

It was more a stylistic thing rather than a content thing. Some ladies might prefer a more nuanced style of writing is all. I try to be accommodating. In any event, my style of review is less about the nitty gritty anyway. I'm more interested in conveying the little details that stood out for me which are not necessarily directly related to the sex of it. These reviews are kind a memoir for me, my sex diary. A way of writing about the experience such that it takes me back to the moment. How I felt at the time. I consider them intensely personal and it's only the anonymity of this board that allows me to share them. I'm sure that many people don't like them or won't read them but that's okay. They're for me anyway. I'm sure the hard drives of this server can manage to hold my little stories.

We should make a toast. Go forth and prosper young cerbite...may your mileage always vary well.

I don't know you but I wish you the best. Keep fighting the good fight. Man, fuck cancer. Fuck it to hell.

I was inspired in the sexy abc's thread and posted this. I was pretty pleased with myself and didn't want it to get buried so here it is in it's entirety. Hope it's good for a chuckle. A is for Anal...right in your bum. B is for BJ...a great way to cum! C is for cock...one eye but can't see D is for doggy-style...we can both watch TV E is erogenous...the zone some men can't find F is for fetish...you want WHAT in your behind? G is for G-Spot...If you want her to go fast H is for hymen...they're far in our past I is for implants...if you don't like how you're born J is for Japan...weird-ass tentacle porn K is for KY...slippery and wet L is my libido...as strong as they get M is for masturbate...when I play with my stem N is my nuts...so please don't neglect them O is for orgasm...the main point of this vice P is for penis...yes, I listed it twice Q is for queef...sometimes kitties burp R is for redheads...sexy firecrotch! slurp! S is for sex...it makes me a fool. T is for tongue...the most useful tool. U is for uterus...couldn't find a 'U' word V is for vulva...both hairless and furred W is wet...how my rhymes make the ladies X is my rating...this shit ain't for babies! Y is for yoni...look it up...it means beaver Z is zoophilia...Hey! That's my retriever! :-D

This is what I love about this site. You wouldn't believe how supportive the people are here. I've had both regular members and SPs send me PMs, offering tips, advice and support as well. What a nice bunch of people you are.

True but I think the appearance standards for 'man-hoes' out trying to sell their man-ginas (hee hee) might be pretty high. Of course being immensely skilled would probably help a lot too.