Eric Northman

Provider: The Sexual Health Center Services provided: PNE (professional nurse experience), fetish play including watersports/golden showers (peeing in a cup) and BDSM (tying your arm, poking with needles) Clients accepted: men, women or couples Incalls only. Convenient, discrete westend location but available at other parts of town. The incall was easy to find with plenty of free parking. The madam at the front desk took my name and had me fill in a small form and then it was only a few minutes until my date came out. Let me tell you, Hello Nurse! Tall, curvy, long dark hair, great smile, dressed in a sexy white lab coat. She had me follow her into the back where a small room with a desk, some chairs and a bed were set up. The bed was strange and tall and had some weird stirrup things on it. "Kinky!" I thought to myself. We sat together and she took a little time getting to know me. She seemed quite curious to know all about me and asked a lot of questions about what kind of sex I liked, what I had been doing lately, stuff like that. After a little bit of that, it was time to get down to business. She took my arm and tied a rubber band around it, having me flex a few times. "Yeah baby...you know what I like...". She took out a needle and poked me in the arm, causing blood to start flowing into a little tube. "Whoa," I said, "shouldn't we have a safe word?" She just laughed and kept going, filling another vial before expertly finishing me off and cleaning me up with a nice clean cotton swab. Since I'm an MSOG type of guy, after a couple of minutes we started into round two. She gave me a cup and drew a little line on it. "Fill it to here," she purred. "Nice!" I thought. "I like where this is going!". I went to her bathroom down the hall and went to town on that cup. Man...after all that foreplay I could have filled 10 of those cups I had so much juice in me. I walked back to her room, completely spent and gave her the cup. "Good job," she said. At this point we were almost out of time although I've got to say, she's definitely not a clock watcher. I left the clinic completely satisfied. Highly recommended and I would definitely repeat. Treat her well people, this one's a keeper. This was tongue-in-cheek and partly fictional but seriously people. Have you been tested? It's really easy and super discreet. There was almost no waiting and no one knows why you're there. Everything is kept confidential and you get to choose exactly how they contact you. In fact, unless there's a problem, you'll never hear from them at all. Better a quick poke at the clinic than having your johnson fall off later am I right? I got tested today and it took less than an hour of my time. What's your excuse?

Oh and one more thing: This is really old but for those of you who haven't seen it, I thought I'd repost. It's a weird fake commercial done by some Swedes in pseudo-German and I find it absolutely hilarious. Yet one more thing (it's a good morning for links):

Yeah, I thought of just saying something like, "This totally isn't a line but I just wanted to tell you how sexy I think it is to see a pretty lady carrying her hockey gear. Must be a Canadian thing eh?" I think if you approach with a big smile and a jokey manner it's not creepy.

Come on people! This is not the thread or the site for boring stories of fiscal responsibility and generous philanthropy. Let's get all hedonistic up in this bitch....I'm talking rolling around in a bed of money with a Thai ladyboy stuff here. Planes, cars, trips around the world....fantasy stuff. Yeah, I know we'd probably all be boring and conservative if we REALLY won but what would you fantasize about doing if money were no object?

I feel bad with all these generous people here talking about giving to charity, helping family and friends, etc. Not only would I buy myself the gold pants mentioned above, I would probably be incredibly selfish and use the money to make more money, financing my evil empire to plot world takeover. I want henchmen people. I'm reminded of the quote from Conan the Barbarian: Mongol General: Conan! What is best in life? Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women. That's what I'm talking about. Use the money for evil and nefarious purposes. So much more fun than stupid charities all of whom just waste half of the money you donate anyway. Perhaps even better is the quote from Office Space. Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars? Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man. Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time? Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with money. Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks. Lawrence: Well, the type of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do. Peter Gibbons: Good point. Lawrence: Well, what about you now? What would you do? Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time? Lawrence: Well, yeah. Peter Gibbons: Nothing. Lawrence: Nothing, huh? Peter Gibbons: I would relax... I would sit on my ass all day... I would do nothing. Lawrence: Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my cousin: he's broke, don't do shit.

I just discovered something this morning that I never knew turned me on. Leaving the arena after hockey and in front of me is a beautiful woman. Professionally dressed, slacks, long jacket, scarf, sexy high heels with long brown hair flowing over her shoulders. Sounds nice enough but pretty ordinary right? Here's the kicker though. In her hand was a hockey stick and over her shoulder was her big hockey bag. The contrast of this sexy, immaculately attired woman carrying her grubby hockey gear out of the arena just threw me for a loop. So incredibly sexy. Watching her put her gear into her truck, I wanted to walk up to her and tell her just how hot she looked but I chickened out. Kicking myself as I drove off, I find I'm still thinking about her. Must be a Canadian thing, eh?

Oldie but a goodie. Anyone remember ?

Two words: gold pants.

Wow....you guys are being awfully polite to this assclown. What a miserable shithead ungrateful response. Bunch of solid legitimate advice given and the responses are: 1) "I'm too poor to buy a smartphone to check images on the road" 2) "I'm too stupid and illiterate to read reviews which are BY FAR the best information available" 3) "I'm a dumbass teenager who thinks with his dick instead of a grown man with a brain." 4) "See number 1. I can afford to get ripped off in shitty B&S scams but can't afford a smartphone." Jerk.

Old thread to bump but this is an interesting article about providers working with disabled clients.

Daaamn girl...them some ! :-D ----edit----- wow....listened to the whole song...it's both funny and awful at the same time. Number one link on Google when you search for 'big ass titties' ;-)

I expect a standard waiver would be sufficient for your purposes. If you look at any of the sports organizations around town (Ottawa Sport Plus, Ottawa Sport and Social Club, etc.) they all have waivers for sports activities. Basically you sign to absolve the activity provider of any liability for injury or whatever.

Just don't get it mixed up with the wife's Nair....

Really? You can wax your nuts? That seems like an awfully painful thing to do.... I've actually heard that laser hair removal is completely painless on the scrote but I'm not that committed to the process.

Just do it consistently. Don't let it grow back in and you'll get used to it. Stops itching and it's fine. I prefer it now and usually shave every few days, more often if I'm going to meet someone.

Sigh...best I've ever managed is a quick wank in the bathroom at work. Working in computer software is such a sausage party...

Emily, I certainly wasn't suggesting anyone make a list and in fact stated that such lists are meaningless and arbitrary. As someone newish to the hobby perhaps I was wrong about my other point though. It's just that in my interactions with various ladies so far, I haven't gotten the impression that there is a lot of insecurity. Quite the opposite in fact. The ladies I've met have seemed supremely confident and didn't strike me as types to be too concerned about what others think. That being said, I suppose I'm working from a relatively small sample set too.

Not sure I entirely agree with that RG. These ladies are tough and realistic and I doubt many of them have any illusions about their skills and physical qualities. I rather doubt many of them would be so insecure as to be all butt-hurt that they didn't make some 'pretty' list. But, as agreed, beauty is arbitrary so lists are meaningless in any event. There was a thread a while back where people were talking about who gives the best BJs and many of the ladies were mentioning other SPs as being truly epic. Most of these women seem to have no problem giving props to those who deserve it and don't seem particularly jealous of others success.

The Oatmeal on the mantis shrimp: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/mantis_shrimp

I wasn't suggesting that there was a need to be aggressive. I was stating that I worry about being perceived as aggressive which potentially makes me err on the side of passivity.

Simple and well put. Particularly with a provider whom I'm meeting for the first time. I feel that our society tends to portray men as aggressors and I, for one, might feel a little creepy making a physical move on a lady who I don't know, regardless of the situation. Especially with a provider much younger than me. I realize that I've paid for a service but I still would be very leery about coming across in a bad way if that makes any sense. Perhaps it's paranoid but I know men can be scary, dangerous creatures so I really try hard to seem harmless.

Throw me the ball!