Eric Northman

I think we're descending into Godwin's Law here. I agree that it's pretty inflammatory to start throwing the Robert Pictons and Bradley Bartons in our faces. Most of us are good men and I for one, don't appreciate being verbally bludgeoned into silence by the sex work equivalent of being accused of being a Nazi. Genevieve, please consider: the anti sex-work people often use inflammatory rhetoric and single out particularly horrid cases to make the argument that your job should be illegal. Would you use these same tools to silence discussion among those who are on your side? There are risks on both sides with using real names and contact information. Probably less so for men but still, not insignificant. I don't worry about using my real name but I can certainly understand some people being reluctant. In any event, it is definitely a two way street if only in one way: Both clients and providers have their own screening procedures and are free to not see someone for any reason they choose. Clients who won't give real names don't get to see providers who insist on them and providers who insist on them give up the segment of clientele who won't provide them. Simple economics.

Nicely said Gabriella. It's not a contradiction to be employed selling sex (companionship ;-)) and yet be against the sexualization of employees. It's a matter of what you are choosing to sell. Someone up above said it and I'll repeat. Hire an agent for agenting and an escort for escorting.

I think Genevieve answered this point quite well already but I reiterate. Is it REALLY that much of a stretch to see how this will progress? And yes, absolutely a position of power. He is a client which means she is under pressure to keep him happy or else she doesn't get paid. How much inappropriate behavior will she put up with before deciding it's not worth it?

I agree that the mere act of hiring someone for their looks does not constitute harassment in of itself. It is definitely a precursor however and I can understand the reasoning. Let's follow the logic. Can we agree that contracting a real estate agent is, to some extent, similar to hiring an employee? Can we then imagine that OP has hired an employee based on their looks rather than on the job description or the person's qualifications? None of this is harassment. Yet. However OP admits that he's done it before and that it resulted in going on a date. This implies that there is an ulterior motive and a goal of establishing a relationship beyond the professional. In the previous case, apparently it went well. But what if the attraction was not reciprocated? Are we not then setting up a situation in which he will be in a position of power over someone who is trying to make a living but being exposed to unwanted sexual advances? Does that not meet the definition of harassment?

Not wanting to pile on OP too much but I think he might have misread his audience a bit. Not sure if it's surprising or not but there is definitely a fairly strong feminist bent among the ladies here. I don't mean that in a negative way. It just seems that many of the women here have put a great deal of thought into gender roles, sexuality and women's place in society. Their views on this sort of thing are very nuanced and I find it quite delightful to read some of the thoughtful responses in these threads. Just because they are choosing to make a living in a field that tends to objectify women doesn't mean they approve of GENERALIZED objectification of women. They are taking advantage of a particular aspect of our society but doing so by choice. That's the difference. It's patronizing to choose to employ a skilled individual for superficial reasons other than their qualifications. This is right at the heart of women's battle for equality and respect.

Wow. That's really depressing. This sort of thing is generally known as "The Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory". Off topic but BTW, Kate, I love your signature. It really made me think about my own behavior. I tend to be a bit 'bitchy' sometimes and talk down about others. Framing it as pumping myself up at their expense puts it into a different perspective. I enjoy the rest of the quote too: "To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves. Nothing is often a good thing to say, and always a clever thing to say." If only I could learn follow the second half as well.

I kind of agree with his theory. A) Guys love their own dicks so why wouldn't someone want to see it? B) Guys want girls to send them nude photos so it seems logical to send them what they think they would want. Honestly, B) is probably behind so many relationship problems in general. People tend to do things for others that they would want done for them. Unfortunately that's often not what what they actually want. I want sex. Wife wants thoughtful little things. She gives me thoughtful little things, I (attempt to) give her sex. Neither of us are happy. If you can crack the code of doing for others what THEY want you to do, you're golden.

So this guy decided to make a chat profile as a pretty female just to see what it was like. Quite interesting. https://np.reddit.com/r/truecreepyPMs/comments/3298o8/this_is_a_post_that_some_of_you_are_asking_me/

All of you who are making arguments about trafficking, pimping, violence, drugs etc. making up a significant portion of this trade are forgetting something. We have very real and significant counter examples in places like New Zealand and Australia where legalization/decriminalization are having measurable positive effects on the social problems of prostitution. The New Zealand Ministry of Justice reported that "Information received from Immigration Service NZ indicates that no situations involving trafficking in the sex industry have been identified." Don't be fooled. The creators of these documentaries and stories have an agenda. Anecdotes don't make statistics.

Hello! I like where this is going... Rowr!

Not wanting to advocate anything of questionable legality but for me, a little puff of something-something does wonders for my sleeping. I don't necessarily sleep MORE but I certainly sleep better and feel more rested. Plus, I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed the next day with no residual effects.

No problem kiddo. You're new here so we'll give you a break this time but if it happens again...oooh boy... Pow! Right in the kisser! Just kidding. I promise, we're really nice people here. Friendliest little board in all the land. It's true! :-D

Thanks for being the voice of reason Cristy. This site is not different from other online forums in that dog-piles sometimes happen and people can get beat down pretty badly. Having been on the receiving end of that sort of thing, I can assure you it's not pleasant and drives people away. I'm not convinced Victoria needed to be nuked from orbit. The responses have seemed a bit disproportionate to the offense.

That's more or less what I meant. It's a 'rating' system inasmuch as it rates clients on what the ladies care about. Which, in most cases, is simply whether or not they're 'OK'. It's certainly not reviews or anything that would be interesting to clients. I was responding the the argument that 'a client rating system would help ladies know which guys were good to see,' and pointing out that such services already exist.

Isn't that interesting? Good point. I guess the closest analog to that on this site would be when a lady pushes the 'thanks' button on a reco about her or posts to your wall.

Appearance is only the entry point for me. That which makes me decide to see you in the first place. If I'm coming back, it's because you have something special going on besides your looks. Let's face it, there are many beautiful ladies available. Unless there's some undefinable chemistry, comfort or rapport with a lady, there would be no real reason to repeat in most cases. So my theory would be the following: Changing your appearance or presentation would be quite likely to change the clientele who initially contact you but much less likely to dissuade regulars from returning. The short answer is do whatever makes you feel beautiful. Women are much sexier when they feel sexy.

I have a theory about those who ask for this 'feature'. I don't think it's REALLY because they want to help the ladies screen or otherwise choose men. As has been pointed out, they already have ways to do that. Also, there are already things like P411 and such that have rating systems for clients. So OP, I'm about to cast aspersions on your motives. I hope you don't take it personally but what I think you and others who have lobbied for this in the past REALLY want is to know is what the ladies think of them. They want to know how they rank, are they actually good in bed, are they attractive, do they have something about them that makes them better than the other guys, etc. It's a competition thing. He who gets the most positive recos wins. Thing is though, think about the position it puts the ladies in. As soon as they write a reco for one client, other clients could potentially be put off. Maybe they don't want a reco written. Maybe they're jealous if one guy got a reco and they didn't. Besides, could a lady ever really write down a true opinion? Their position in the relationship is very different than yours. They will be sexy and intimate with all manner of men, some of whom they might never touch with a ten foot pole in 'real life'. Because they are professionals, they will give their best effort to make that man feel special and enjoy his time with her. Perhaps you're a great client. Maybe you rocked her world. Or maybe you're just ordinary and she faked it. Would you REALLY want to know? This is about fantasy, about believing what we want to believe. There's no room for truth here because, if truth be told, by definition most of us are pretty average. The business model depends on making you feel special. If the ladies were to suddenly develop a case of truthiness, we would probably be dismayed to find out just how forgettable many of us are.

I think some people in this thread are conflating the notion of touch-ups like ER mentioned vs. massive photoshop changes of boob size, waist size, eye color, etc. One is certainly fine, the other, kind of sketchy. I don't think anyone is accusing people who have professional, lightly touched-up photos of misrepresenting themselves.

My theory is that everyone should follow "The Principle of Least Astonishment." That is, what can I do that will astonish the client the least? Shiny touched-up pro photos are great but they only tell us your potential under ideal circumstances, not the reality. Selfies that look like they were taken with a potato are similar in the opposite way. They show us the basic look that will likely be much better in person, with makeup, etc. I think that if you don't want clients to be surprised when they reach your door, having a good mix of photo styles is probably the best. Some pro, some natural and maybe some candids. Even better, just choose photos because they actually look like you would look if someone walked in your door. I feel like you don't want to surprise people in either direction. While it's better to pleasantly surprise someone (OMG she looks so much better in person), if that happens a lot, you might be leaving money on the table. Slightly 'truer' pictures might catch more eyes and topple some fence sitters over to your side. In any event, we know it's not all about looks but the photos definitely seem a critical part of the initial generation of interest. From what I can see from many profiles, quite a few ladies seem to treat them almost as an afterthought.

Wow Amber, I just looked at your photos. Dangerous curves. You're like, the very definition of curvy. I want to wax poetic here for a moment. When cooking, we talk about balance. Different flavors, sour, sweet, salty, bitter, can offset and balance each other. Too sweet or rich? Add some sour. Too spicy? Add a bit of creamy richness. That sort of thing. When done well, you can pump up flavors to almost extreme levels by constantly counterbalancing with other things. Even textures work this way. A little crunch with a soft gooey filling is better than just the goo or crunch by itself. Your body reminds me of this. Taken by themselves, the individual parts might be almost too much. Put all together, oh my. Your butt, your breasts, hip to waist to chest ratio, everything just comes together like the most perfectly designed dish. You remind me of these little carvings they find in caves that depict a goddess who represents the idealized woman. I hope you don't take it the wrong way because I mean it as the most sincere compliment but you are a heck of a lot of woman. Mmmm. Oh, and you're very pretty too. :-D

My motto is, when in doubt, ask. Usually body language and expression is good feedback but if you're not sure, just ask. Heck, I have interactions even afterwards where I'll PM a lady and say, "Hey, you know that bit where I did the penis helicopter move and yelled, 'Woohoo!! I'm a sex pinata!!'? Was that okay with you?" Then, if I'm lucky, she says, "Yeah, that was super hot. If you could just bring a polish sausage with a miniature hat and skateboard next time, we could have a really good time." Once that happens, you know you've got a real love connection and she'll have a repeat customer for life. Good times.

Drag. It totally just worked for me (thanks Meaghan). Hopefully you'll get it sorted.

I know. I was just teasing. Slow news day today so I'm occupying myself by trying to be funny.

True enough but OP can also use 'BBW' or 'curvy' type search terms in the ad listings... But mentioning someone as bigger who doesn't actually advertise as such? Nope. Plus there are usually pictures that one can judge for themselves. I'm just taking the piss out of OP a little bit because it's actually really easy to find what he's looking for without any help. Now if I were searching for a lady willing to use a cow birthing glove to fist me to the elbow while singing "Oh Susanna" and pouring maple syrup on my head, I might need a bit of help. :-D