Liv Waters

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My point was not what is objective, it is the fear mongering, the unneeded nastiness, and the uncertainty that has plagued us all over recent weeks, which left many SPs worried and paranoid about what was reigning down on them and leading to acting out in destructive ways toward others....that is the point of my post; not everything will be better if we are all 'sensible'....a person can come across as sensible and yet be seething with venom...the stigma and the nastiness is not a necessary part of being cautious on this Board, or of 'us being in it together'....but many who are parading themselves as cautious and looking out for the community are using that politic to sling their judgmental 'I am like legal Teflon' garbage around in a manner that is shitting on people and alienating the lived realities of people doing the work.

Well, it's been building for a while now and only getting worse. I smell a witch hunt and the intensification of an us versus them attitude, where those who model and best emulate the most sanitized image of the 'Escort' and sometimes, the 'Hobbyist', get their precious brownie points while others, particularly the oh, so very bad and 'risky' workers get shit on. It's bad enough we are being censored to death here to survive. And, yes, it is a real challenge to adapt to this new legislative environment, but it brings things to violence when we have the finger pointing and goody two shoes bull that is going around about 'all those SPs' who are peddling their 'extras' and should really 'know better'...should really do more to not be so 'risky'... And, this messaging is being directed regarding workers in general discussions and not just those formally linked with CERB, but it's functioning in really damaging ways that do affect our Members here and this hurts the culture that people have worked so hard to make supportive and caring and progressively minded...what's going on is slut shaming and another term I don't even think I can use on here now. I've even had personal conversations with workers who were worried that other workers would be tricking them into providing a menu or discussing 'activities' over text and whatnot and that this would be used as a way of thinning the ranks and getting them kicked off of boards like this. Paranoid? I think not, especially given all of the nasty talk and the fear and uncertainty that has transpired in recent weeks...about how all of the change would be handled, about the level of censorship and the reach of control these changes would result in in terms of workers needing to alter their business models and online presences. Under the tyranny of fear and censorship, very lovable people are driven to engage in truly ugly behavior. I think it was a wise decision on the part of the board to make a distinction that those going on with advertising their extras in other places aren't automatically kicked off of CERB, so long as they are not linking their presences or posts here to those other spaces. Otherwise, I know we would have a worse rats nest than we already do now. Just because many of us felt compelled to adapt our business models and advertising practices to continue to try and thrive and provide the most comfort and assurance to our clients who are looking for that, does not give any of us the right to look down or direct hatefulness at those who are not towing the line. And, many of of us who have made these changes are carrying extra burdens and worries in greater isolation than before. There is a cost to sanitizing one's image...just as there is to becoming the Dudley and Dolly do rights who will be hurting their eyes and giving themselves calluses from hitting the report post button so much. [Yeah, there is a difference between reporting a post and becoming the post police or some resentful, makeshift Mod. I can read between the lines that this is happening.] And, for those of my colleagues who have acted as though they don't understand why others are so upset that they have to be censored and constrained in such a way because they've been doing it this way all along with no issues at all, you need to know you are in a minority and that the industry overall does not march to the beat of your drum...very invalidating and politically self-ingratiating behaviour. I see we are under constraints here and that people are fearful and frustrated, but let's really be honest with ourselves about the difference between adapting and surviving versus shitting on people and hyper fixating on their business practices....or, better yet, between playing along and drinking the Kool-Aid. Let's do more on the end of keeping this a supportive space. Besides, witches have more fun ;P

Can I come too? ...would be so great to see everyone!

I stand corrected. I was just fitted for a bra today at Victoria's Secret and I'm a 36 C. ...no Ds to be seen here, lol

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Thanks for your complimentary words olderguy! ...just wanting to clarify though, that, while my breasts are still lovely to behold, they are not as large as they were (now a small 36D)...falling in line with the more trim, though juicy as ever, derriere I'm sporting these days. Just putting it out there ;P Saucy kiss, Anna

You know what I find interesting?...for as much as muff isn't talked about or praised overtly to a great degree here or on other boards, I think more men love and are more curious about natural kitties than one might deduce at first glance....the amount of views on this relatively recent thread being one interesting clue :) While shaved can be super hot, for sure, my first exposures to porn depicted women with wet, hairy pussies, so I'm hard wired for this now. Total turn on. That and big nipples and pendulous breasts. Yes, please! My kitty is graced with a soft (i.e. natural) landing strip, just so ya know ;p

Let's remember that there are many powerful actors in this society who also have a vested interest in cash persisting on :) I agree with Miss Thora; I think it will be decades, perhaps centuries, before we would come close to resembling a cashless society, and in place of legal tender would be some other convenient, highly usable form(s) of currency.

I appreciate your sentiments Phaedrus, and I like your optimism... perhaps our vantage points about the terms of conversation (the ways our voices are inflected, directed) look different though because of our differing identities...and understandably so :)

You know make makes my heart ache?...That CERB is one of the few online spaces where workers and clients can speak openly and respectfully about sexuality, our desires, our bodies as they relate to our sexual exchanges...and also about activism. What will this do qualitatively to our online community here?...I think about that. The fact that, in a post C-36 climate, we (workers) cannot represent ourselves in any way where we could be implicate ourselves as a 'known prostitute' (there is so much hurt and stigma embedded in that piece) and belong to and advertise on CERB, pretty much means that I cannot say "I'm a sex worker"....it's actually really huge; the politics of representation and standing firm to make a claim about one's [current] work, one's body... what that means in our community...there's a symbolic anihalation that runs very deep to the core in all of that. Sure we can play semantics, change our job title and terms of service...tow the line to survive, and, of course, we will, but there's a lot of pain and psychic isolation in that... There's are no quick fix comments for these pieces; I know, folks...and I know this thread it mostly being utilized for pragmatics....but there are these other pieces too...like ragged bits in the wind with no place to fall...and, yet they blow around anyway Because we are here :)

All the best and warm regards to you Jessica!

Fair enough. But, I wanted to reorient this piece as many of us workers are hearing a lot of the 'should have left well enough alone' bit. I've had clients express this in person and it has been playing out in other online forums. And, Canadian prostitution legislation certainly did not leave us well alone. In many ways, this reflects a very real experience of fear and frustration on the part of clients, and we SPs care about this very much, but 'the show will go on', and it is the workers who have been living under the greatest threat of the law for decades. So, yeah, many of us are sensitive about this piece.

The laws still needed to be challenged, bottom line. The fact that the decision was handed down at the time it was is highly unfortunate. No one could have predicted what the timing would be as the challenge was several years in the making. The fact we are in the midst of the threat of Bill C-36 should not deter us from appreciating the sacrifices of my colleagues who launched this Charter Challenge, the historical significance of the case, and our related efforts as a Movement. So, if the Bill passes, sex workers will be in there like a dirty shirt launching new challenges, I assure you.

I was recently contacted by a prospective client I have been in communication with for some time. He has expressed interest in seeing me during my next Ottawa trip. After noting the undesirable idea of potentially being with an SP who engages in such unsavoury practices as mentioned on this thread (using sponges, working during one's "cycle"), and after making specific note of this thread, he said, that, as a result, he was planning on instituting a new "screening question". He wanted to know as part of screening me if I work through "my cycle". This is an excerpt...the crux of what I wish to say in my reply as I think it has great bearing beyond the singular matter of communication between two people, as this thread and its carry over to other boards has stirred anxiety and dread in many of us who do the work: Dear potential client, I will look forward to your call should you wish to schedule a play date with me... As for the subject of the CERB thread and your new screening question, I will be direct as that is the way I am. I do not work when I'm on my period and certainly would not book my Ottawa trip when I'm expecting mine. But, if you noticed my enthusiasm on the thread, it was to nominate Emily J's post, which really did some justice to the fact that many of us experience spotting at various times in our cycles.....sometimes a bit during ovulation....sometimes randomly as a result of penetration....her post did justice to the reality that women are not robots with a series of inputs and outputs which we can calibrate to the utmost convenience. Many of us would be off more than half of the month if we did not work whenever there was either menstruation or some break through spotting. And, I will be honest, your new 'screening question' will be of little use to you. You can be sure that, when asked such a question, a great many SP will feel obligated into giving you some sort of answer to the effect of "no", rather than saying the question is invasive. In turn, the answers will likely not reflect our complex realities, such as in cases where we have periods pop up unexpectedly and still need to work, or when we are not technically menstruating but may have some breakthrough bleeding. I hope I'm getting through here. It took guts for the SPs who participated on the CERB thread to share about their bodies....to push the conversation deeper for the benefit of all. I hope that you have found my response on this matter to be sufficient to your screening process. Once you call, should you choose to call, I will be better able to finish mine. Cheers, Anna If we want to keep CERB a place that resists stigmatizing SPs, I suggest that our personal contributions to sensitive yet important topics like this be valued and noted for what they are; an opportunity for men...for our clients to get a better sense of how we actually experience our bodies. I do appreciate the candour shared here by service providers and plenty of willingness on the part of hobbyists who have contributed to the thread to evolve their thinking and assumptions and to encourage others to do so too. In the Spirit of continuing dialogue in a thoughtful, respectful direction.

Wish I could come, but I won't be in Ottawa until the week after :( Maybe the Christmas Social! Have fun :D

Hmmm, actually a great portion of the Gents I have seen LOVE giving me DATO....I'm not so sure it's just about a small minority of bad boys....now, some can be a bit tentative about it at first....wanting to be sure I'm into it (oh, yes please ;). :D

I remember when my father put her book "I know why the caged bird sings" in my nine year old hands, and how transformed I was by it. Dr. Angelou lives on in many of us.