mrrnice2

As we approach the new year I wish to extend best wishes, health, happiness and success to all Cerb members. Happy New Year Everyone.

What don't you understand?

What an interesting thread. Past experience obviously has a huge affect on how we currently act or perceive things. For some it may in fact be a single event or a few momentous events that have had an impact and for others it would simply be a cumulative buildup of everyday life experiences. For me I believe that my 'character' such as it is a result of of an incredible home environment as I grew up, and then a similar environment within my own family as I matured. One single event has brought me to Cerb in the last year, and as a result my own shyness is slowly and slightly becoming less of a personal issue. My character even after all these years continues to develop and change and be molded. One thing that Shymale referred to that has been a huge benefit for me, not in the sense of past experiences but as a personal tool to help, is the ablility to write. A personal journal has been a very good therapeutic exercise for me and I have met many others for whom that is also the case.

I hope that you had a great birthday Sara, our Christmas baby.:) Have a great year ahead!

Congratulations Malika on this achievement. I always enjoy reading your posts and the eclectic mix that you come up with. Keep it up. :)

Happy Birthday NJ, our Christmas Eve baby. :) Have a great day.

Cerb is indeed a place that in some yet unfathomable manner indeed keeps me coming back. For me it has become a community of friends. I do very much recognize its role as a means for clients and SP's to meet and communicate in a business sense, but as much as some do not wish to speak about it, Cerb is also a place where friendships are forged. The atmosphere of the board is generally positive and uplifting. The conversation and discussion goes ever so much further than sex. I think to the role of Cerb members in helping that young man get his lifetime dream of a hot air balloon ride. What about the toys collected for children at the Christmas social. The Cerb community educates about legal issues, and helps to break the stereotypes about sex workers in our society. It is a place where a hug or kind word can be given or asked for unconditionally when needed. It has supported people who are going through difficult times, whether it be illness, personal issues, or addictions. I throughly enjoy logging on each morning with a hello in the shout box, and seeing the same from others. The little PM's and guest book entries that arrive unexpectedly are always things that brighten my day. The humour provided by people such as Old Dog, Roaming Guy, Lee Richards and others makes me smile. The educators, and I think of Wrinkled in Time, Samantha Evans, Gabriella Laurence, Nathalie LeFebvre and Elizabeth Saunders and others who challenge me to think and learn have helped me to become a better person. When so many people play so many roles I can only appreciate and be thankful for their contributions to me and to the community at large. In person I have met some amazing people, men and women alike. In every circumstance these people have had an impact on me, and the impact has invariably been for the good. Oh yes, and there is intimacy. Cerb has been a means of exploring and realizing previously unexplored experiences and fantasy. It has been incredible. I have had a very difficult past twelve months and I do attribute much of my healing to Cerb members who have been supportive to me through it all. As I have been helped along the way, so too I hope that I can help others as well with whatever contributions I can make. So Cerb, I shall keep coming back and I dearly wish that the spirit of comradarie and tolerance and patience continue and even improve for the benefit of all of us in this remarkable community. We are unique.

Eric - after meeting you at the social this is an even more personal get well soon wish and a wish for a speedy recovery. It is difficult to continue to have people injured or worse due to drinking and driving, so may we all use this accident as a reminder to take care ourselves and to watch out for others. Thanks Angela for letting us know.

Waking up this morning and as daylight starts seeing that it is snowing. Perhaps 15 - 20 cm by tomorrow morning, so a white Christmas is in store and the snow simply adds to the Christmas spirit. :)

I have been pretty fortunate to have spent some extended periods of time with some amazing women in various contexts and activities. Going out to dinner is always a great prelude to whatever might come later, and the conversation has always been fun, informative, and a great opportunity to develop that connection that I ever so much enjoy. Dining in a finer restaurant is something that should be shared with a beautiful woman, so when the opportunity presents itself I am quick to take advantage. I have been a tour guide of sorts in showing off some of our beaches and the rural nature of our province. A meal at a traditional lobster dinner was a highlight as well as another time going for a long extended walk on one of our white sandy beaches. In Ottawa last summer I spent time biking with an SP and we did the Rideau Canal loop as well as sharing a picnic lunch sitting on the grass down by the locks. I was ever so tempted one day this summer to spend a day at a water park but that did not come to be. What the coming year shall bring I do not know, but some of the out of the bedroom activities have been a real treat for me.

New Years resolutions have never been something that I spent time making, much less working on. My 2011 resolution would have been simply to make it through the year, and lo and behold, here I am, so I guess that one was successful.:) Going into 2012, I believe that I shall make several resolutions. 1. Begin to eat more regularly and in a more healthy manner in order to gain back some of the weight that I lost in the last year. 2. To renovate another room in the old farm house that I live in. 3. I resolve to come to a resolution on where I am going with Cerb.

Congratulations Meg on 4000 posts! Well done and keep them coming.

How could one not like a favorite Muppet character! Welcome to Cerb too. :)

Congratulations Elizabeth. I always enjoy reading your posts, and the way that they make me think, ponder andf consider. Well done and keep it up.

Congratulatins Emma for all of your contributions here. Well done and thank you.

What I wrote earlier I suppose deals more with what is right for a man on the other side of this equation. In response to your question of what one should do when in this situation, I believe that you did do exactly right and was totally fair. In the moment, one has an opportunity to read body language and the messages that go along with it, and one should always err on the side of caution for your own personal safety. Personal pride and the principle of the matter are important but not as important as saftey, so from the way I understand it, you were perfect. What you are doing now with this thread is also perfect as a reminder to yourself and others. Prethinking and preplanning and looking at various potential scenarios can never be overemphasized. As well you write about prior communication with the person and that would be critrical for the SP I would think. Written communication can only convey so much however, but I would think that the prescreening and input from other SP's can be invaluable. Anyway Isabella, not sure if this helps, but I feel that you did well under an adverse situation. Well done.

I tend not to include the section on rating incall location when I do a recco. That is in part due to the fact that it looks as if only the first person to make a recco may have that option (not sure that is correct), but more so because that is a REALLY subjective determination. As any recco is of course subjective and based on an individuals personal criteria, I do find the location/atmosphere numerical based system a mystery. Is a really nice room at a Delta or Four Points Sheraton a 10? If that is a 10 then what is a suite in a luxury condo? Where do they fit with a really nice, immaculate and well maintained personal incall location? I find it very difficult to rate or compare assuming that someone else might make a decision based on my "number." That being said, Gabriella you have had the most amazing and comfortable and classy locations when we have met. :)

If I can contain myself to the topic of expectations, I have my own views on this which might vary from the norm - I am unsure. This contribution could equally well go into the current thread about cancellation fees. If ever I felt uncomfortable that I was not with the 'right' person then I would very apologetically explain and excuse myself. I would also like that to be the case if the woman felt uncomfortable. Any intimate sort of encounter for me must have that mutual feeling of respect and personal enjoyment of each others company. That is why I read, I write, I communicate ahead of time, and thus far it has never been an issue, nor do I ever anticipate that it will be. That brings us then to the question of the donation. Over and over I read here that the donation is for time and companionship and that anything else beyond that is mutually agreed on by the two people involved. I have gone into every single encounter with that in my mind and always with the expectation that there will be a connection, but also recognizing that a connection may not always be there. As much as it would 'hurt' to leave a donation if I walked away, it would be the right thing to do. The women that I see are running a business with its associated costs, expenses, and scheduling issues. In particular for me, I tend to see travelling SP's for whom the expenses are even higher and who will truly be taking real losses (beyond that of time alone) should I not show up or leave without giving the agreed upon donation. A personal idiosyncrasy for me is that I tend to book appointments far in advance and also like to use an email funds transfer, far in advance. It is my silly little way of budgeting and removes that awkwardness that I always felt with the passing over of an envelope, or worse, forgetting in my nervousness that it is there in my jacket pocket! Some would say that I am too trusting or that I am opening myself up to being taken advantage of, but my trust and vibes have not let me down to this point and the women that I have seen are as respectful and honest as I. The situation that Isabella refers to here comes to the choices that one makes in the way that you treat another person, in almost any situation. Anger, physical confrontation and those sorts of behaviours are totally inappropriate. Calm, cool and collected works even better in most situations. I hope that I have stayed on topic, and I realize that what I would do is not appropriate for all, but for me, it is the right thing if ever the situation arises.

Love those miraculous recoveries. :) It must be Christmas :)

It would probably be the rare person who does not occassionally experience exactly what it is that you are referring to. I am sure that each of us copes with it in a different manner and what works for one may not be at all useful for a different individual. I know that for myself what tends to work best is to first of all recognize that I am in 'that' funk as you so well describe, and then I will let myself wallow for a bit before having the "talk" with myself. The talk consists of looking at and listing in my mind all of the positives that I have going for me, some of the 'worse' things that could be, recognizing that there are others with far greater trials that they have to deal with than I do myself, and eventually I come to an "It's all OK' frame of mind. Reading some threads on Cerb also does help me a lot - some of the positivity threads, different perspective threads and hey, even asking for that Hug that is always available from the group thread by that name. In one huge issue for me, my doctor has suggested a mild anti-depressant, but me being me, and maybe it's a guy thing, I choose not do do that. I do not ever want to mask reality and I want to confront and deal with things on my own. That is probably NOT good advice. Take care my friend, and I expect that your support here will help a great deal.

The ability to peruse and read through a blog written by an SP for me is a really fun and interesting thing to be able to do. I VERY much enjoy knowing a little about the person that I am in contact with and a well done blog provides glimpses outside of the normal pervue of an ad or even a well written and well designed personal website. For me what I enjoy is that a blog tends to be more personal or ofttimes even frivilous and demonstrates another side of a person. Is it necessary, absolutely not, because for me my contacts by PM and email before an encounter always give me the insights or gut feelings that I am seeking, but a blog that is maintained and updated and combines fun and serious and everything in between is a treat to read.

Samantha. With this note I not only wish to pass on congratulations but I also wish to extend a heartfelt thank you for all that you do for Cerb. Your presence on Cerb with your wisdom, your humour, your sincerity, your compassion, your ability to put things in perspective and to do so in such a respectful manner demonstrates the poise and class that you possess. It is a privilege to be a part of the community in which you play such an important role. Please keep doing for us what you have done so far. It is ever so much appreciated.

Steve. I want to wish you all the best along the way from here. You were one of the very first to welcome me to Cerb and you have been a great presence here for me and many others. For the time being, Cerb is losing a valued and respected member. It has been nice to see your Maritime presence on the boards. Know with certainty that you will be welcomed back at any time, if and when the time becomes right for you. We tended to have a lot of common ground, you and I, but you fought a losing battle when those Sox kept coming up on your profile and avatar and in your words. LOL Take Care my friend. Thank YOU for your help.

So many highlights. The best may be that I seem to be able to write on this thread every day! Yesterday was a drive that started from near Quebec City and ended up in Halifax. It included a stop at a super Montreal smoked meat deli for lunch, found thanks to a recommendation from a Cerb friend.:) The drive was fast and easy and on summerlike roads all of the way while good company brought laughs and discussion and interesting conversation. If we ever do another road trip then the Tim Hortons franchise will survive to live another day. I spent last night with my daughter and will be heading for home today with another of my children to truly usher in the start of a holiday season at home. Until next time, and betting that will not be too far in the future.:) It has been a super week away and yet another part of the voyage of self discovery that I am on.

The highlight today and it is only 6:30 AM, is the fact that I am pretty well packed up and ready to hop in the car and head East again after an amazing four days on Ontario. The trip up, the days in Ottawa, visiting family, and next the trip back have been and will continue to make this perhaps one of the best weeks that I have had in well over a year. It is the awesomeness of people in the last week that have done this for me.