CoolCucumber

Not even me? :P

I'd occasionally like to talk about events that happen in this lifestyle too, but I just keep it here in CERB. I'm slowly leaving the scene, so once I've gone I won't be able to discuss my experiences anywhere since I have not told anyone who knows me about this side of my life. But I guess I treat it the way I have to treat all secrets. In fact, today I got an email with the greatest news I could have ever gotten but I'm sworn to secrecy, so I have to swallow it and keep it inside. So I guess my best advice is if you feel the need to discuss the lifestyle with friends, make some friends here on CERB.

Heaven is what you make it to be. Dogs, cats, lovers, kids. Everything you loved will be in heaven with you. The more fun you live, the better heaven will be for you. That's my own personal philosophy. Right now, as I'm posting this, I'm watching Scooby Doo with my 3 year old daughter resting against my shoulder. This event one of many that I will relive over and over in my heaven.

Notch. I have written two recos for Megan in the past. This post isn't really a reco. I wrote it to help me relive the experience. but more importantly, to brag about my love-making skills :-). However, I am glad to share with the community this experience to enlighten everyone about a gem in our midst as well as to extol how important it is to reach a certain level with whoever your regular lover is. I can't speak for Megan, but I have reached a comfort level with her that allows me to be myself and have fun. Am I worried that she will have too many clients to be able to fit me in her schedule due to this post? No. Being a regular has its advantages.

I wish I could thank a post twice. As long as you're accepting my requests to meet, I guess I'm only semi-retired. If I seem to represent the best parts of the community, it is because you bring out the best in me :). The gem, here, is you. I have to end this on a smart-ass comment but I can't come up with anything. You've blown my mind. I owe you one smart-ass comment to be redeemed at a future time. (smart-ass comments must be redeemed prior to Dec 31, 2013 and are nontransferable).

I got home about an hour ago and the clock on the microwave was flashing. The electricity obviously had been out earlier. I don't feel like cooking. I call the restaurant down the street and order a pizza. I go pick up my kids from daycare, go to the restaurant, pick up the pizza, come home and set them up at the kitchen counter with a few slices of 'za. I have some too. There's nothing better than eating pizza. Except for mind-blowing sex. When I can have both in one day, it's a really good day. Guess what? It is a really good day. Hey aren't I the guy who claimed to have retired from the lifestyle in September. Yes, one and the same. Did I have sex with a lay person (see what I did there?). Nope. She is an escort. Aren't I supposed to be retired? What is this 60 minutes? Who are you, Mike Wallace? What's with the interrogation? I met her at her hotel at 3. I left work early, advantages of being the boss. I brought a few bottles of some mixed vodka/Kahlua based drink. And some chocolate. I showered while she sat on the bed sipping her drink. I then joined her on the bed. We kissed. We talked. We laughed a bit (a bit too much I might add, what the hell is in these drinks?). She proceeded to giving me great oral sex and I returned the favor afterwards. I may have inadvertently tickled her as she let out a surprised gasp but my ego tells me she was just completely taken by my technique. I reposition myself so that my mouth is lightly pressed against hers. Some small kisses ensue. I lick her lip a little and then my tongue probes her mouth and finds her tongue. They get acquainted. Although they've met before. The I say something stupid and we're both laughing hysterically for a few minutes. I say, "let's get this thing back on the rails." and she tells me I am no longer allowed to speak for the rest of the session. A rule I break over and over later on. I resume kissing her and whispering sweet nothings and I ask her what she likes best. She whispers that she likes me inside her best. That gets a reaction. I continue to explore her body, neck and lips with my mouth getting very hard in the process. She gets a condom. Now here I have to help her put it on as she tries to put it on backwards. My ego tells me she is just confused because I have aroused her. Once the condom is on, I enter her in missionary position. She whispers, "you feel good." I whisper back, "Look who's talking." With most girls, cowgirl is my favorite position. With her it's missionary. I put my forehead on hers so that the bridge of my nose is along the bridge of hers. In this position, each of us needs to lunge a bit to kiss the other. She lunges first. I place my open mouth on hers and lightly keep my lips on hers. I don't kiss her. At the same time, I push myself slowly in and pull myself slowly out of her. Occasionally we kiss each other hungrily as I continue the slow pace. She comes violently. Moments later she comes again. I don't need ego to tell me this is genuine. She comes a third time and bangs her head into mine and she writhes beneath me, trying to push my head out of the way. All the time, I am breaking the no talking rule by whispering, "you're so good. I want you to come again." among other stuff that might be even too dirty to write here. She grabs a pillow, puts it over her mouth and screams again. Then she tells me to fuck her faster. Who am I to deny this vision? At this point, I enter a different state of consciousness. I can only feel her. I've forgotten my real name and MikeM does not even exist. The maid could have walked in and I wouldn't have noticed. Another scream of ecstasy awakes me from my nirvana that I have only experienced about a dozen times, three times already with this girl and never before with another escort. We come together. I'm spent. I roll over to her right side and pull her close to me so I can kiss her again. We kiss for awhile, then we get up as my hour is almost up. We drink our drinks and I get dressed. The whole time conversing like old friends, laughing, joking. I'm lightheaded from the sex. My legs are shaking. As I go to leave, I pull her to me, kiss her and say, "Is it OK that I continue to see you even though I've retired from the lifestyle?" She says, "MikeM, I'll make it so that you never retire." I say, "Cute0aza0button, I'm holding you to that." As I leave I remark to myself that from 3 to 4 (4:10 actually) I was the luckiest guy in the world. But as I leave the room, I am only the second luckiest. The luckiest guy is the guy who is on his way for, I assume, his 4:30 appointment with this angel. Does this bother me? No, these are the rules we play by. You are the best.

I quit this year. But I haven't. But I have. And then again... I quit (or was fired) from a regular arrangement at the same time that I was experiencing doubt as to whether or not I was enjoying the lifestyle anymore. I went on a whirlwind spree designed to sow all wild oats. Afterwards, I planned to settle down, take some time for myself and after awhile, maybe start looking for someone special to share good times with (a GF). But I know how I am in relationships, I get bored easily then I get into trouble. I end up making Rob Ford and Bruce Carson look like angels. Part of my retirement celebration was to contact some favs and, in particular, there was one escort who I had only seen once but kept contact with through CERB. I saw her a few days after my so-called retirement. Then I saw her again. Then one more time and then the next day. She brought back my enjoyment. And on top of it, I spend quality time PMing her on CERB and the conversations are enjoyable. Maybe I'm not so good at retiring. However, I have retired from searching for new thrills and eventually I'll have to tell this girl goodbye as well. I think that will be tough, but c'est la vie. On that day I'll be fully retired. Then I think there will be lots of alone time before I decide what to do next.

My rule on this is that I don't initiate any communication if I see an SP I know in public. Once, I was on a date (a long time ago). We were at St Laurent Mall. We practically walked into an SP I had seen numerous times and I discreetly smiled at her without stopping. She mentioned seeing me the next time I saw her ("I didn't know you had a girlfriend", "I don't"...). With respect to an SP communicating with me, I don't mind if I am alone, especially without my kids. A discreet smile is always nice. But if I am alone and she comes to talk to me, I have no issue. If I am only momentarily alone and the SP comes over, only to have someone else I know join us, I have the perfect excuse already prepared, so it doesn't bother me at all if someone sees us.

I'm taking my restless leg syndrome medicine.

Sounds like the type of guy who wears blue polka dot boxers. These kind of guys live life to the fullest and only appreciate the finer things in life. Rarely does retirement stop them from doing what they want. If your retired guy keeps seeing you after he's retired from seeing all others, it's because, for him, you're one of the finer things in life. And he's probably right. :p

Writing recommendations is a double-edged sword. I mean, you want to show your appreciation for an excellent time shared with an amazing girl but if you recommend, she might be fully booked the next time you contact her. Now, I'm supposed to be retired. But during my retirement tour, I wasn't able to see Megan on one particular occasion. In fact, I've only seen her twice, ever. But my PM box is full of messages to and from her. So I figured it would be OK to indulge one more time during my self-imposed retirement. In fact, she offered a rare Thursday appearance last week which would have been perfect any other week. But I was busy at work and couldn't book. Then, through PMs we manage to book for today. I just want to go through some history. I met Megan in May because my regular escort cancelled on me at the last minute (see my recommendation a few posters above). Since that time, I've tried numerous times to set something up and our schedules never worked out. However, we kept chatting on chat and through PMs. Finally the persistence paid off with a meeting in September (above post). So, I get to Megan's hotel a little early, but we had exchanged texts about half an hour before, so I know she is not busy. I text her that I am there. She invites me up a few minutes before my start time. I get to the room and she looks amazing. Every time I see her, she looks better than I remember. Now I don't kiss and tell (sorry) but I am sad to report that this time was way better than the previous two times. How the hell am I supposed to retire from this lifestyle if that is the treatment I get. Incredible is all I can say to describe it. And not just the act. The conversation, the seduction, her appearance, her demeanor, all incredible. Megan, thank you for the attention you paid to me today. It made me feel like a million bucks and even now, 7 hours later, there must be some accrued interest because I feel like more than a million bucks. And to that lady in May who cancelled our appointment, I can't thank you enough.

My favorite city is Montreal. I'm from near there and it never gets old. I left home at 14 to go to school in Montreal and I only stayed 3 years. Then I left again for university and never moved back even though I own three duplexes and a house there (the house is for sale if anyone is interested). I spend almost every weekend there. I've been all over Canada (except Vancouver or Saskatchewan) and in my opinion nothing comes close, although Toronto has grown on me lately. Ottawa is a good second place to Mtl though, due to its proximity to Mtl and my ability to get Habs tix more easily here :)

Joe Satriani, Crystal Planet. I taught him how to play guitar like that.

I hate turkey. With a passion. I've never eaten turkey and liked it. And, growing up, we have it every Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter. Even after moving out at the age of 14, I still went home for the holidays and was forced to eat it. Then I got married. To a lebanese woman. The first Thanksgiving came and we had Sunday night at my parents (Turkey yuck) and Monday night at her parents. I was expecting some Middle Eastern traditional dinner (they seem to eat stuffed grape vine leaves or Kebbe khras or Molakhia for fancy family dinners). What did we have? Turkey! In honour of me! Cooked by a woman who had never cooked a Turkey before and didn't realize that it takes Many hours to cook in the oven. Can you say salmonilla? I hate turkey.

Enjoy your last hurrah. I ended up having a few last hurrahs and still feel like I have a few laps left in the gas tank :). I suspect I'll occasionally come out of retirement for the right lady but it will be fewer and farther in between and I won't be actively looking for new experiences but rather those I've developed a good rapport with. Cheers.

I met Megan by chance in May of this year. I had an appointment with another visiting SP who cancelled at the last minute. Having taken the afternoon off and having nothing to do, I came on CERB and saw her ad in the SP schedule page. Not being a member at the time, I took note of her phone number and called. Luckily she answered. It seems that she only advertises on CERB (I may be wrong), so I had never seen her ad before and, not being a member, had no access to recommendations. Anyway, she sounded nice on the phone and looked great in her pictures so I took a chance. Lucky me. i met her at her downtown hotel and she answered in a tight blouse with a pushup bra underneath. Ouch. I took a shower and learned that she has a little quirk regarding the little bathroom soaps (I'll leave this as an inside joke, some of you probably already know). Anyway, the rest of the hour was great and I left quite happy. The only negative is that she only works Fridays and Saturdays which are the worst days for me. So the summer passed without getting another chance to see her until... As a single dad, I spend nights and weekends with my kids. During the day, they go to school and I have a fairly relaxed work environment where results are more important than hours spent sitting in a chair twiddling your thumbs (or whatever else you may be twiddling). So I (used to) hobby frequently on weekday mornings or afternoons. But this particular weekend, my ex-wife came in from Montreal and took the kids. Hallelujah. Being a new member of CERB, I came online and found Megan was receiving. A few PMs followed by a few texts, an out-of-charge phone and a quick run to best Buy to get a new charger and I was in Megan's very large and swanky hotel room. Despite not having seen each other in months and that being the only time we had seen each other, it was like seeing someone I've known for years. And she was in this nice form fitting dress. I'm not really into divulging the details of the act, but a few things stand out that merit mentioning. She has a great sense of humour and a quick wit. She had me laughing often throughout the hourlong appointment, but in a good way (other escorts have had me laughing in a not so good way). I left feeling like I had just been with a friend with benefits rather than an escort or a girlfriend. Although I have only seen her twice, I could see myself leaving my retirement to visit her a few more times (which is a much better endorsement than simply saying I'd repeat). Anyway, the rest of you guys should treat this girl well because Ottawa is really lucky to have her (just my two cents). I hope this recommendation was helpful.

It's actually a pretty good solo. I think I'll youtube it (and blast it until the neighbours complain). Additional Comments: I will be posting a few recommendations before I leave for good. I do have an avoid list too, but keeping with the rules of the board, I will not be providing this one :)

Now Joe Walsh's outro guitar solo is stuck in my head.

Thanks to everyone who commented in my last thread about what to do for a client retirement. I did a bit of a whirlwind tour and saw some of my favorites from the past and some new and some who I hadn't seen enough. I've sowed my wild oats and now it is time to take care of me. I have now come to the conclusion that it is time to do something else with my free time. I had lots of fun. Thanks to all the SPs who were there for me these last three years. Although I may pop in from time to time to say hi, it will be as an observer, not a participant. Bye and thanks.

Great is not a good enough word to describe this Venus. If I took the words spectacular, sexy, pretty, sexy, orgasmic, sexy and magnificent and combined them into a word, it still wouldn't do her justice. (Was that a little over the top? Perhaps some hyperbole? Maybe but damn is she smoking.) Did you go for a swim tonight? Additional Comments: If you're implying that I'm the Mario Lemieux of sex, then that would make me the Magnificent One of sex. We'll have to ask the girls if it's true. I don't share my cerb handle with anyone (except for today's beauty), so I'll have to ask in person. Let's make a list.

You present me with a dilemma. An overnight trip with a favorite girl sounds like fun since it's been a long time since I did an overnight with an SP and my favorite part about the SP-client relationship is the pillow talk afterwards (and no expectations of going to meet their parents afterwards - that's another good part about this "hobby"). But, economically speaking, a 2 hour "four-o" might actually be less expensive and certainly a once in a lifetime thing (I've had duos but never a trio let alone a four-o). I'd need to be wealthier to live out all of these fantasies. All of these fantasies with so little time...

OK, I'm back from London and came across an SP who I only saw once back in May but I talk to her here on CERB often. I appreciate our chat and PM conversations. Her sense of humour is very high brow. So I made arrangements to see her today despite having had my retirement party in London earlier in the week. I believe someone suggested to do a final tour of all of my favorites. And even Gretzky still puts on his skates once in awhile even though he's retired, so I thought "what the hell?" Am I ever glad I did. Great conversation, sexy girl, infectious smile. Thanks cutie.