Athos

Perhaps atypical, but Blazing Saddles. If we are going legitimate I still like Clint Eastwood in The Outlaw Josey Wales and in Unforgiven. Of course, any of the Sergio Leone spaghetti westerns are a good way to kill time.

It's already too late for me!!!

All of the above ... I'm not sure any of the categories precludes any of the others.

Well done ... Keep the posts coming

Areez, This does happen from time to time. I understand your frustraton. It hasn't happened to me in a long time. I remember once having a regular provider in Winnipeg. We saw each other every couple of weeks, and then suddenly cancellations started. There was no reason for it. Our relationship was always friendly and professional. As it turned out, there were a lot of things going on in her life, things that made keeping appointments difficult. At the same time, as a regular, I was definitely feeling taken for granted. As if there was an assumption that I could be cancelled on because I would rebook. We'd been seeing each other for well over a year at that point in time. You really have a couple of options. The first is simply to move on. The second is to open a dialogue. I would only suggest this if it is a regular. Simply contact her and say you haven't appreciated the repeated cancellations, but you are somewhat concerned a) that you might have done something to upset her or make her feel uncomfortable or b) that there she might be having problems in her life. Without needing details, you could simply indicate that you would still like to see her, and ask her to contact you when she was better able to keep appointments and see you. If the lady's not a regular though, I'd just move on. Porthos

I think you have received some clear advise, and there is an obvious consensus. A promise is a promise. If her parents ask you, you simply need to say "I don't know" and "if you have concerns, you really should be speaking to her" Porthos

My daughter passed her bronze medallion swimming level. One more level and she'll be ready to go for her lifeguarding and swim instructor certifications. Very proud of her.

Danielle, All the best. Time heals. Things will look better as time passes.

Samantha's advice is spot on. The only thing I would add is to make sure you have checked the ladies website. If she has a touring schedule posted, your answer as to when she might be visiting is possibly there. Get in touch when you see that she will be coming to your location. But if there is no schedule posted, then I would follow Samantha's recommendations. Porthos

Picked up my sister at the airport yesterday afternoon. we haven't seen each other for a couple of years, so today is a relaxing day of patios, drinking, and catching up. Of course, there is the small matter of avoiding all the topics that lead us to dislike each other intensely. That could be an entry in the "things to suck" thread later today. But for the moment all is good. Porthos

All the best ... thinking of you and hoping things continue to improve. Porthos

While I don't have any tattoos I love them on others and really admire and appreciate the quality of the artistic expression. Porthos

I usually, in that situation, say something polite, but to the point of "I'm not really looking to get dances right now, and I don't wish to waste your time". I remember one dancer looking at me, saying "well, you're being incredibly presumptuous" and sat down anyway. We proceeded to have an amazing conversation by the end of which I took her to the VIP lounge and spent most of the rest of the evening with her. She had a very good sales technique. Porthos

I once booked an appointment. Got the address, realized it seemed reasonably close to my wife's office building. Indeed, it was the condo complex built overtop of my wife's workplace. While there was a separate entrance to the condo area, I was extremely anxious coming and going. I didn't book with that lady again, and explained to her the reason. Porthos

I don't know what I was thinking ... a few hours in a strip club is a great way to cheer up. Porthos

It's interesting to think about the nature of love and reflect on the "great loves" of our lives. I think that I have loved, in a true sense, 5 women. I have, of course, been infatuated with many and lusted after many more. Two of those relationships were the sort of incredibly volatile relatoinship that takes you to such pinnacles of joy, but also plummets you to such depths of unhappiness. My first great love was like this. It lasted 4 years, and those years were some of the best of my life, and some of the worst. Even today I love that woman. And if she showed up on my doorstep and said she wanted me, I might very well go with her (at least for the night). This relationship, I might add, took place over 25 years ago. My wife, by contrast, has always been a quiet and gentle sort of love. There has never been the ups and downs. We grew into our love, easily and gently. I don't think we've ever had a real fight or serious disagreement. Sometimes I think we don't because I just tend to defer and give in. But in retrospect, it really is because there are very few things that truly separate us. It is, perhaps, easy to think there is something missing in this sort of relationship, and sometimes perhaps there is, that it lacks the intensity or passion of great and epic love. As a result, perhaps we think too quickly that we should be seeking something else. We have such romanticized notions of love. That it must be this huge, totalizing thing; that it takes your breath away and leaves you dizzy with excitement and anticipation. Sometimes that is true, but that sort of love needs to settle, or ultimately it is unsustainable. Sometimes, it strikes me, it is necessary to rethink what we mean by love, to understand that it comes in many forms, and that even our ideals of "romantic love" can be highly variable. What works for one person, doesn't necessarily work for someone else. Of course, within that context, for clients ... seeing SPs requires us travelling the boundary between love, intimacy, desire, lust. Physical needs and emotional needs become intertwined. Dangerous terrain, particularly for those questioning their relationships or looking for something more or different than what they have. And of course, this describes the situation of many clients, although certainly not all. Good luck Empty83 ... travel carefully and travel well. Porthos

Didn't go to work today. Stayed home, puttered, read a book, had lunch on the deck in the sunshine, went for a very long walk, and in general got in touch with myself. I need to do this more often. Porthos

There seem to have been a lot of really lovely reflective threads lately on love and relationships. It gives one lots to think about. For myself, I do positively believe that it is possible to love more than one person, and that there is nothing more beautiful and cherished than a long term relationship that lasts a long, long time. I don't believe that seeing service providers, or even necessarily having an affair, always or fundamentally endangers a long term and loving primary relationship. I've felt, over time, that my partner and i have been both very close, and drifted very far apart. As I've suggested in the heartbroken thread, we've recently reopened our lines of communication, and started talking about how we've "lost each other". I realize that I've looked to others to fill a hole in my life, and sometimes, when those others are gone, it feels (mistakenly) like they have left a hole. That hole was already there. And i realize that only one person in my life really fills it. I wish I'd figured this out earlier, but I'm glad I understand it now. So, while on this board we often pay tribute and homage to the wonderful ladies that enrich us so much, sometimes we shouldn't forget the other women that also share our lives. I realize that I may only be speaking to those of us with SOs. And I also realize that there will be many relationships out there that are not loving, and which likely will end. But for those of us with devoted and wonderful partners in our lives, take a moment to think about where you want to be in 20 years. I'd love to be hiking up that hill to a beautiful lake with my love. Porthos

Sauerkraut Sushi or Sashimi

A long walk in the sunshine Watching a favourite movie, or rereading a favourite book (books are like old friends, they can always provide comfort) As sad as it may sound ... work is a great healer. Be busy. Listening to music ... Louis Armstrong singing "It's a Wonderful World" is one of those songs that can make me feel profoundly sad and uplifted at the same time. Getting together with friends ... getting out and forcing yourself to interact and be happy Doing something with my kids. They are now teenagers, and so very busy with their own lives. But spending time with them always ends up making me happier.

This is a thread that resonates very much for me. In many ways, I share the same, or at least similar experiences of many that have posted here. My wife and I have been together for 25 years. She was the love of my life in many respects. We share similar interests, politics, passions. Our sex, at one time, was quite wonderful. A series of things ... stress, illness, back pain, children, exhaustion with life ... led us to drift apart from each other. We had great affection, but little passion. Sex was gone. It's been nearly 5 years since my wife and I made love, and probably 8 years since the time before that. This, of course, was what led me to escorts. A familar path ... strip clubs first, massage parlours, escorts. I sought intimacy, but not love. Sometimes, I felt I had fallen in love Sometimes I actually had. I've had affairs, some of those were meaningless encounters at a weekend conference, some were deeply loving that lasted a significant amount of time. I've been reflecting very seriously on what this means of late. I realize, that despite it all, i still love her best of all. To whatever extent you feel your life has become a "cage", don't look for escape from that cage elsewhere. There is, of course, nothing wrong with seeking out the company of service providers. Indeed, I think it is highly advisable. But don't think it will solve your problems. It will not. Look inward. You either need to escape and leave the cage, accept the situation, or fix it so that it doesn't feel like a cage anymore, but a home. Empty83, as hard as it is, you need to talk to your wife about this. I found it nearly impossible to talk to my wife about this. Why, I don't know. Surely it should be easy to speak to the person closest to you in the world about sex and intimacy. But for some reason we were unable. Ask you wife what her feelings are, if she still loves you and wants you. Today, after the kids left to school, I said to my wife that I loved her, and that I wanted to have sex with her, and it hurt me that we didn't. She said it hurt her that we didn't as well. And that she wanted it too. We both cried. Now we have to make it happen. If anyone has suggestions for low impact sex techniques for a woman with back pain I would be very interested in receiving them. We tend, in our lives and in our loves, to assume far too much. Dialogue is hard. Especially when you are busy, or think you already know the answers, or fear the answers. Empty83, you already think she doesn't want you. Better to ask and know for sure, then live with the doubts and insecurities that not asking creates. I don't regret the wonderful lovers/loves I've met and enjoyed through this hobby. They have enriched me tremendously. And I don't think if I hadn't hobbied that my wife and I wouldn't have drifted apart. But, if one can drift apart, one can drift together again as well. The tide doesn't just go out, it comes back in. As Jade has rightly said though, only you know what is right. I thought of leaving my wife many times. But there was always caring and affection. We were best friends, if not lovers. We had great kids, and a life that was both full and empty at the same time. We got busy, and focused on that to fill our time. That seemed enough. But recently I've realized just how fundamentally lonely and unhappy that made me. Thanks to someone else, a friend and former lover, who has had tremendous impact on me, I've realized that I couldn't go back to that loneliness. That I had to either leave, or make an attempt at fixing our home, to make it something other than a cage. To speak, rather than assuming, and see where things went. I'm glad I did. Some overly emotional ramblings on a monday that seems full of possibilities that I didn't think existed a short while ago. Porthos

condolences Notch ... you are in our thoughts. Porthos

deepest condolences RG ... Take comfort in your memories, and your father will live with you and inspire you long into the future. Porthos

It is quite remarkable that a "law professor" gets the fundamental legal point, namely that prostitution IS currently legal, so wrong. the issue is that elements of the criminal law make engaging in sex work more dangerous than it might be. And I don't think anyone has ever argued that all risk can ever be eliminated. Porthos

watching the oral arguments in the Bedford case.