Athos

A long walk in the sunshine Watching a favourite movie, or rereading a favourite book (books are like old friends, they can always provide comfort) As sad as it may sound ... work is a great healer. Be busy. Listening to music ... Louis Armstrong singing "It's a Wonderful World" is one of those songs that can make me feel profoundly sad and uplifted at the same time. Getting together with friends ... getting out and forcing yourself to interact and be happy Doing something with my kids. They are now teenagers, and so very busy with their own lives. But spending time with them always ends up making me happier.

This is a thread that resonates very much for me. In many ways, I share the same, or at least similar experiences of many that have posted here. My wife and I have been together for 25 years. She was the love of my life in many respects. We share similar interests, politics, passions. Our sex, at one time, was quite wonderful. A series of things ... stress, illness, back pain, children, exhaustion with life ... led us to drift apart from each other. We had great affection, but little passion. Sex was gone. It's been nearly 5 years since my wife and I made love, and probably 8 years since the time before that. This, of course, was what led me to escorts. A familar path ... strip clubs first, massage parlours, escorts. I sought intimacy, but not love. Sometimes, I felt I had fallen in love Sometimes I actually had. I've had affairs, some of those were meaningless encounters at a weekend conference, some were deeply loving that lasted a significant amount of time. I've been reflecting very seriously on what this means of late. I realize, that despite it all, i still love her best of all. To whatever extent you feel your life has become a "cage", don't look for escape from that cage elsewhere. There is, of course, nothing wrong with seeking out the company of service providers. Indeed, I think it is highly advisable. But don't think it will solve your problems. It will not. Look inward. You either need to escape and leave the cage, accept the situation, or fix it so that it doesn't feel like a cage anymore, but a home. Empty83, as hard as it is, you need to talk to your wife about this. I found it nearly impossible to talk to my wife about this. Why, I don't know. Surely it should be easy to speak to the person closest to you in the world about sex and intimacy. But for some reason we were unable. Ask you wife what her feelings are, if she still loves you and wants you. Today, after the kids left to school, I said to my wife that I loved her, and that I wanted to have sex with her, and it hurt me that we didn't. She said it hurt her that we didn't as well. And that she wanted it too. We both cried. Now we have to make it happen. If anyone has suggestions for low impact sex techniques for a woman with back pain I would be very interested in receiving them. We tend, in our lives and in our loves, to assume far too much. Dialogue is hard. Especially when you are busy, or think you already know the answers, or fear the answers. Empty83, you already think she doesn't want you. Better to ask and know for sure, then live with the doubts and insecurities that not asking creates. I don't regret the wonderful lovers/loves I've met and enjoyed through this hobby. They have enriched me tremendously. And I don't think if I hadn't hobbied that my wife and I wouldn't have drifted apart. But, if one can drift apart, one can drift together again as well. The tide doesn't just go out, it comes back in. As Jade has rightly said though, only you know what is right. I thought of leaving my wife many times. But there was always caring and affection. We were best friends, if not lovers. We had great kids, and a life that was both full and empty at the same time. We got busy, and focused on that to fill our time. That seemed enough. But recently I've realized just how fundamentally lonely and unhappy that made me. Thanks to someone else, a friend and former lover, who has had tremendous impact on me, I've realized that I couldn't go back to that loneliness. That I had to either leave, or make an attempt at fixing our home, to make it something other than a cage. To speak, rather than assuming, and see where things went. I'm glad I did. Some overly emotional ramblings on a monday that seems full of possibilities that I didn't think existed a short while ago. Porthos

condolences Notch ... you are in our thoughts. Porthos

deepest condolences RG ... Take comfort in your memories, and your father will live with you and inspire you long into the future. Porthos

It is quite remarkable that a "law professor" gets the fundamental legal point, namely that prostitution IS currently legal, so wrong. the issue is that elements of the criminal law make engaging in sex work more dangerous than it might be. And I don't think anyone has ever argued that all risk can ever be eliminated. Porthos

watching the oral arguments in the Bedford case.

This is correct ... the SCC is seized with the Bedford case and will hear it this week. Parliament will not touch the issue until after the ruling, and most likely will do nothing after the ruling either. The safest course for the government is to simply accept the Supreme Court's determination of the issue. It takes the political issue out of their hands and allows them to focus on other things ... like survival. Porthos

Today is the National Day of Action to support Sex workers. I'm sure many people will be participating in the events planned across the country. In anticipation of the Bedford case going to the Supreme Court of Canada, this mobilization is fantastic and very important. I realize that not everyone will be able to participate, but if you can't, I'd like to encourage you to do something positive in support of the wonderful women who work very hard, sometimes struggle, and always enrich our lives in so many ways. To that end, this thread could serve as a place for people to voice that support and commitment. Porthos

Happy birthday ... I hope you have a great day

I misspent a lot of my youth in pinball arcades.

2 cats ... I've had two cats (different pairs) for pretty much the last 25 years. Having said that, I really am much more of a dog person. I really would very much like a dog right now. But sadly that doesn't seem to be on the horizon. Porthos

I don't really care that much for scents and perfumes, although when used correctly a nice perfume definitely can catch one's attention and fires the imagination. I think every woman has her own wonderful scent, which mixes with perfumes in unique and exotic ways. perhaps my problem (if it is one) is that I simply adore the scent of a woman. I can't tell you my favourite scents, without attaching the names of the ladies that go with them. porthos

"Everything gives you cancer, there's no cure there's no answer" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEzcLTAMrRA&sns=em

I'm not sure it was my first ... the first was probably a Bond girl. But I had it bad for Jenny Agutter in Logan's Run. Additional Comments: So Dr. No came out the year I was born, but Ursula Andress was a serious crush from the first time I saw the movie.

To Have and Have Not: Bogart and Bacall ... they simply sizzle on screen.

I hit my elbow on a the edge of a door ... right on the funny bone. So hard it triggered a vasovagal reaction and I passed out. Of course, on the way down my head hit the corner of a table. Woke up, rather embarassed and bleeding. Porthos

spending the first weekend in a long time without any real work obligations.

Oh but that were true ....I'm sitting at the kitchen table trying to finish some work. I enjoyed some celebratory fun earlier in the week.

A very said day. I can remember attending the demos and rallies when his case was being heard in the Ontario courts and then the Supreme Court. It was an incredible time, and there was such hope and promise that the Charter of Rights might bring about change. Very few people have shown his dedication and commitment, and his legacy is incredible. Porthos

I'd just like to thank everyone for your very kind birthday wishes. It's quite overwhelming. It's wonderful to be part of such an amazing community. Thanks you again. Porthos

Happy birthday

women, women, and more women. Within that context there are a bunch of other guilty pleasures, but those shall remain private (at least for the moment). Beyond that, I do enjoy a bowl of Rice Krispies with brown sugar before bed. Porthos

Happy Birthday Carrie.

flirting with my favourite clerk at the grocery store. I think I need to go back and pick up bread!