Athos

Yes, my beard definitely seems to be getting whiter (silver) .... but that's inevitable. I like to think it makes me look distinguished, although i'm problably kidding myself on that front. Porthos

I think this is an amazing thread. Thanks Nathalie for such an open and honest post. It's an incredibly moving story. I know personally I've occasionally felt confused about my feelings for a special service provider. For a long time I tried to only hobby when I traveled, so that I couldn't develop feelings. But over time I craved more intimacy, and those sorts of one-off encounters just became rather dull and empty for me. For several years I saw one woman exclusively. She was an incredibly important part of my life. We didn't communicate much outside of setting up appointments, but we saw each other frequently, shared stories of our lives, and became very close and, I think, very dear friends. I didn't love her, but I often imagined that in other circumstances I could very easily have fallen in love with her. I think anyone can fall in love. Often love sneaks up and finds you in unexpected ways and unexpected places. So maybe it is possible to do so within the the bounds of the client-provider relationship. But it strikes me that this requires two incredibly secure people, who understand that the nature of their love isn't affected by their interactions with other people -- whether it be partners, spouses, or other clients -- and that the financial transaction also continues in tandem with emotional commitment. It strikes me that if that happened, it could be a most amazing thing. Many of the posts in this thread tend to assume that falling in love means a change in status for one or both of the parties ... the SP giving up her job, or the client (if married) seeking to free himself. I wonder if it needs to be that way, ... or if two people can accept who they are, the situation they find themselves in, and relish the fact of being in love. Some Tuesday night rambling. Maybe some food for thought. I'd love to hear what others think. Porthos

congrats Meg ... but I think it's all of us that should be thanking you. I don't think I'll ever reach 6000 posts, and if I do I can only hope that I'll have earned a fraction of the respect and wisdom that you have on the board. You're a pillar of this community. Porthos

Yikes ... good to know!!!

Every possibility that his IQ might have increased once he turned!

Come on Old Dog, as annoying as Jar Jar was (and you'll get no argument from me on that), his acting was 1000 times better than Hayden Christensen as Anakin. The combination of the two probably makes those movies virtually unwatchable.

The original question was whether it is wrong to fall for a client. In my view it is never wrong to fall in love. It's all the things we do when we are in love, and the things we expect/demand of those we love, that sometimes are wrong. I say this as a hopeless romantic. Porthos

I would tend to agree with RG. The question is when. Keep in mind, that the client-provider relationship is one that is quite bounded in terms of what happens and the circumstances under which it happens. Ladies often say about clients who fall for them, that the client "really" doesn't know who they are. They see them in a fantasy context, in which everything is being geared to their pleasure. Clients don't see their providers lounging around the house in sweatpants eating chips! (although, depending on context that could be quite incredible). Well, it may be the same with clients. Clients as well are on their best behaviour (or at least good clients, so I assume this applies to your gentleman). The question is how well do you actually know him. Falling in love involves a certain degree of emotional intimacy and understanding of each other. I think that can happen within the context of sessions, but perhaps a fuller ability to get to "know each" other outside the bedroom is required. Maybe you should suggest lunch, followed by a session. Discount the lunch, or even say "I really enjoy talking to you, and we never have enough time. Let's go for lunch before our session." If you wanted, you could deeply discount the social time, or even offer it "off the clock". I realize that in general this is frowned upon, but this is different than the situation where the client suggests it. Make sure he understands this is a unique offer, because you think he is special. This will be a good testing ground to see what he's like in a different setting, and his reaction may be a guage of his feeling to you. Perhaps say to him ... "I was thinking about you the other day and nearly dropped you a text, just to ask how you were doing ... but didn't want to intrude on your private life" ... see how he reacts. Anyway, perhaps there are ways of testing the waters, before plunging in. Porthos

Well, I've had a beard for over 30 years. There are very few people in this world who have ever seen me clean-shaven. I keep it neatly trimmed and groomed. I've never had an issue with any SP not providing me with the level of service I'd expect. When a beard is just growing in it can be scratchy ... so you may find she's not as receptive to close snuggling or DATY. So just be respectful of that until it grows in and gets a bit softer. Gotta agree midnite-massage, that there is nothing worse than a beard that looks like someone just came in from the wildnerness and is surprised to learn that WWII is over. The hillbilly look, where you worry that something could actually be living in the beard, is not nice at all. Yuck!!!

Salad Nicoise .... delicious

I was going to post in this thread ... but after that, I don't think I will. Nothing can top a complete evolutionary process.

I don't feel huge pressure to bring gifts, but sometimes do with ladies I consider special. I usually bring something to a date ... a bottle of champagne in the afternoon or evening, coffee/tea and pain au chocolate for a morning session. It depends on the circumstances. With one long-time regular we often had sessions over lunch. We had a favourite deli so I would stop and pick up gourmet sandwiches. We'd have lunch in bed. So, occasionally a gift, although I too have sometimes opted for the gift card route. Gifts like jewellry are often very personal, and unless you know the lady well it might be hard to judge what her taste might be. With special ladies, I often try to schedule a visit near Christmas so that I can be Santa Claus.

Happy belated birthday RG. Hope you can get some time away from hospitals. Porthos