Athos

The original question was whether it is wrong to fall for a client. In my view it is never wrong to fall in love. It's all the things we do when we are in love, and the things we expect/demand of those we love, that sometimes are wrong. I say this as a hopeless romantic. Porthos

I would tend to agree with RG. The question is when. Keep in mind, that the client-provider relationship is one that is quite bounded in terms of what happens and the circumstances under which it happens. Ladies often say about clients who fall for them, that the client "really" doesn't know who they are. They see them in a fantasy context, in which everything is being geared to their pleasure. Clients don't see their providers lounging around the house in sweatpants eating chips! (although, depending on context that could be quite incredible). Well, it may be the same with clients. Clients as well are on their best behaviour (or at least good clients, so I assume this applies to your gentleman). The question is how well do you actually know him. Falling in love involves a certain degree of emotional intimacy and understanding of each other. I think that can happen within the context of sessions, but perhaps a fuller ability to get to "know each" other outside the bedroom is required. Maybe you should suggest lunch, followed by a session. Discount the lunch, or even say "I really enjoy talking to you, and we never have enough time. Let's go for lunch before our session." If you wanted, you could deeply discount the social time, or even offer it "off the clock". I realize that in general this is frowned upon, but this is different than the situation where the client suggests it. Make sure he understands this is a unique offer, because you think he is special. This will be a good testing ground to see what he's like in a different setting, and his reaction may be a guage of his feeling to you. Perhaps say to him ... "I was thinking about you the other day and nearly dropped you a text, just to ask how you were doing ... but didn't want to intrude on your private life" ... see how he reacts. Anyway, perhaps there are ways of testing the waters, before plunging in. Porthos

Well, I've had a beard for over 30 years. There are very few people in this world who have ever seen me clean-shaven. I keep it neatly trimmed and groomed. I've never had an issue with any SP not providing me with the level of service I'd expect. When a beard is just growing in it can be scratchy ... so you may find she's not as receptive to close snuggling or DATY. So just be respectful of that until it grows in and gets a bit softer. Gotta agree midnite-massage, that there is nothing worse than a beard that looks like someone just came in from the wildnerness and is surprised to learn that WWII is over. The hillbilly look, where you worry that something could actually be living in the beard, is not nice at all. Yuck!!!

Salad Nicoise .... delicious

I was going to post in this thread ... but after that, I don't think I will. Nothing can top a complete evolutionary process.

I don't feel huge pressure to bring gifts, but sometimes do with ladies I consider special. I usually bring something to a date ... a bottle of champagne in the afternoon or evening, coffee/tea and pain au chocolate for a morning session. It depends on the circumstances. With one long-time regular we often had sessions over lunch. We had a favourite deli so I would stop and pick up gourmet sandwiches. We'd have lunch in bed. So, occasionally a gift, although I too have sometimes opted for the gift card route. Gifts like jewellry are often very personal, and unless you know the lady well it might be hard to judge what her taste might be. With special ladies, I often try to schedule a visit near Christmas so that I can be Santa Claus.

Happy belated birthday RG. Hope you can get some time away from hospitals. Porthos

As RG says ... it's great to see and welcome to all those taking the initiative and beginning to post more. It's a great community and very open and welcoming.

Congrats Old Dog ... and here is to another 5000 posts. You're a central, respected, and much loved member of this community. Porthos

Squabbles and disagreements with my siblings over what is the best care for our Mother. Complicated by asshole brother-in-law. Porthos

take care of yourself. Hope your recovery is a speedy one.

Getting home after two weeks away. And having something very special to look forward to.

Love has to be one of the most amazing and fulfilling emotions there can possibly be. How else to describe such a deep emotional response that is centered not on yourself, but on the profound impact that another person has on you. You subsume yourself within your love for the other person. You become defined by them. To be in love is quite simply the most wonderful thing imagineable. It completes your soul and allows your spirit to sing. I hope everyone finds their love. Porthos

This is certainly a difficult question, and ultimately only you can answe it. Can you segment the two parts of your life so they won't adversely affect each other? If I thought the physical aspects of my marriage could be rehabilitated I might not hobby. But I also believe it's possible to have multiple meaningful and fulfilling intimate relationships at the same time. Let your feelings be your guide. If when you are with your wife you feel guilty, or bad about yourself, then you should possibly stop. No right answers here .... Just what is right for you in your situation. Good luck

So sorry to hear of this. Thank god you are safe!!! Porthos

Thanks Nat, I've been reflecting a lot about love, the nature of intimacy, and loneliness. Technology has changed things so very much. You can now share your thoughts, hopes and dreams with someone in real time, yet separated by distance. You can develop intimate friendships through virtual communities. In some ways the decrease in space brought about through the virtual can intensify the distance from those around you. Yet at the same time you don't feel as isolated when someone special is a text, a tweet or a pm away. Cerb is built on that possibility. Hugs to everyone who needs it and feels alone. I feel very blessed that I don't feel that way, although I understand how hard it can be.

I had the same experience as RG and Angela. Now I don't even realize I have progressive lens. It just becomes automatic. At first, though, I thought I'd never get used to them. Porthos

congrats NJ, Phaedrus, and Gabriella. three people who really define what this community is all about. Well done. Porthos

Is another cup of coffee and the rest of the morning to wake up