Athos

What happens in threads like this is that inevitably a hierarchy of hobbying becomes created. First, there are the single guys who hobby, many of whom will post that if they were in a committed relationship of course they wouldn't hobby (judgement number 1) Second, there is the assertion that it isn't cheating if there is consent (of course not ... that seems self-evident), so this is the second level of the hierarchy. Married but given permission, and implicit in this is the suggestion that married guys should seek that permission, to legitimate their hobbying. (judgement 2) And finaly there are those left ... the "cheaters". (judgement number 3) I'm not saying anyone is making those judgements explicitly or deliberately. But in response to the suggestion that if people feel "judged" they should just not read or participate in the thread I would say this. Any discussion of the question of cheating, which I agree is a useful one, must also include a discussion of the judgments that we, as society and individuals, make about questions of infidelity. So I reject completely the assertion that comments about judgments as they relate to these issues shouldn't be part of the discussion. Of course it's cheating. I know that. End of story on that as far as I can see. I cheat! I try to do it in a way that doesn't harm my SO and my family. And as RG says, part of the issue is exactly the term ... cheating. It is value laden. that is why we call ourselves hobbyists, just as the ladies call themsleves service providers. To find relatively more value-neutral terms. But, just as we've had various discussions of the moral judgements societies make about ladies who work in this business (and about terms like prostitute, whore, etc) we also need to lay bare our own judgements and presuppositions about the men who participate. And let's face it, us cheaters are probably the largest group of clients in this business. Interestingly, I frequently feel the implicit and underpinning judgments about "cheating" and infidelity when reading threads like this. However, I have absolutely never felt the least bit of any sort of judgment from any lady I've ever seen. To paraphrase my good friend RG: Just some random Sunday morning thoughts from a cheater who is completely at peace with the decisions he's made in his life. Porthos

Really can't do anything but echo the good advice the OP has received in this thread. Don't equate donation rate with service and don't equate youth with desirability. Donation rates are as much about defining the nature of a SPs client base, rather than the nature of the service provided. And exclusivity only lasts for the period of time you have booked. Make sure you understand how the time you book will be spent. If you book 2 plus hours, it won't be spent in non-stop sexual activity. There will be lots of talking, enjoying a glass of wine, snuggling, etc. In short, even if you book a PSE it won't be like a porno ... where scenes go on forever and no one ever takes a break. Many SPs will be leary of a young fellow with too much money to burn. Expectations are too likely to be out of line with the reality of the situation. Porthos

Cheating, not cheating. Why does it matter? I find the some of the implicit and explicit moral judgments implied in the word "cheating" simply not appropriate for this board. We don't pass judgements on people's sexual preferences, so I'm not sure why it sometimes seems as if we do around marital status. Yes, in an ideal world it would be great if I could tell my wife. But I'm afraid I simply don't live in that world. So yes, its cheating, being unfaithful, running around behind her back .... all of those things! Absolutely. But, please, leave judgements aside. I've been with my wife for 25 years. And yes, I see SPs ... but that doesn't mean I need to be told about fidelity, for in so many other ways I am faithful, loyal, trustworthy, dependable, and everything society (and my wife) demands of me, and wants from me, as a husband. Porthos

I consider some of the finest chocolates I've ever had to be those made in Newfoundland at the Newfoundland Chocolate Company. Right downtown on Duckworth street in St. John's. Simply amazing, and you can shop online. http://www.newfoundlandchocolatecompany.com/ It is very cruel having this thread so close to that darned "losing weight" thread! Porthos

RG and I are going to do the 10000 steps program and use the social group to track our progress. I also still have to go get my pedometer. But it's easy to start doing things like parking farther away from the mall entrance, and at the opposite end from the store you want to go to. Today we went to an art gallery, so I spent the day walking (although not quickly). But man, cutting out booze ... that seems like a pretty steep price!!!! Porthos

Kudos to Mod for everything associated with this fabulous site. A community exists and thrives due to his efforts. I think he needs to set something up like Cowboy Kenny has, so that we can buy him a beer! Porthos

I likes the way you think!!!! Porthos Additional Comments: Again, there is so much about context that generalizations are difficult. I deeply love my SO. We have tons of emotional intimacy, but no physical intimacy. We've had sex once in 13 years (given the rarity it definitely stand out as worth remembering). She isn't interested, and I had to decide at a certain point in time whether remaining married and cheating, was preferable to staying loyal, celibate and (eventually) divorced. The pressures of the problems in our physical relationship were actually straining and destroying our love for each other. So ironically, this is a case where not cheating was going to destroy the relationship. Now I'm sure it's very easy to say I'm just rationalizing, and maybe I am. But I can live for that. I love my wife, but I have sex with other women who I also cherish and have the utmost respect and admiration for (and who, I might add, completely leave me gasping for air yes I'm thinking of you Gabriella Laurence). I don't think there is anything at all wrong with that. Porthos

I could agree with all of this and say ... "yeah so what?" (not in any sort of angry or aggressive way ... just more a "shrug and a why does it matter" sort of way) This is one of those perennial questions that comes up on boards. Many people here are married, many of us use the services of SPs. I've long ago came to terms with the issue of "cheating". Yes, I cheat. Done. Does it bother me ... not in the least. If that makes me a bad person, so be it. I hope the people that know me, including the ladies on this board, don't think I'm a bad person. We all have the reasons why we hobby. So long as we aren't motivated by a desire to hurt anyone -- either our spouses or the ladies on this board -- well then it really isn't for anyone to judge. I suppose in that senes that's my answer to the follow up question ... is it wrong to cheat. Can't judge, unless you've walked in someone else's shoes and confronted the choices they've had to make. Porthos

This year I actually didn't turn on some of the outside lights that stay up all year. One less thing to uplug now. Yep ... most of the decorations will be coming down this weekend. Porthos

Random leftover night. I think we had elements from at least three different meals

Curve hugging mini-shirts/dresses:

Happy Birthday Woody ... hope you have a great day celebrating

There's a difference between generic requests of a lady about what's on her menu, or and communicating to the lady that you have certain specific requests/desires and whether she is the right provider for that request. However, on a first meeting I would very much recommend holding those requests until you meet. Ladies on the board might have better advice as to how they prefer these things handled. my own practice is to never ask or discuss anything related to what might transpire on a date in advance. I prefer to go with the flow and see where things take us. If I have specific types of requests, I would usually wait until I had seen a lady a couple of times and developed a bit of a rapport with her. Don't be embarrassed to ask, even when you get into the room for the first time. Believe me, anything you might ask for is ikely something she has heard before. Porthos

If ever there was a time for an overnighter, this would be it. Likely too late to organize now, but next year it might be something worth planning. If I were in your situation, i think I might spend New Year's Eve at my local strip club! Could be a lot of fun. Just take lots of cash! Porthos

Looking back in time: Audrey Hepburn ... very sexy eyes

Being able to spend nearly half the year in St. John's Newfoundland. Newfoundland is heaven on earth for me. A gorgeous and special place ... can't wait to get back. I also met some amazing ladies there, including Emily Rushton, Gabriella Laurence, Penelope Davis, Katherine, and several local ladies. Spending time there was one of the best experiences of my life. Porthos

When my kids were young we used to set the clocks forward at around 10:00 to get them into bed. We'd have a little "midnight" celebration, sparkling apple juice in champagne glasses, then usher them off. Then we could open a real bottle of bubbly and have a little adult celebration. Porthos

I've joined! Additional Comments: I'm staggered to learn that people seem to prefer the oral lovers social group to this one. :icon_surprised: O.K. ... maybe not that surprised. The Oral lovers group is awesome. But if I spend much time there I'll never get outside for a walk. Porthos

Maybe it's generational, but I don't really find the idea of going out on New Year's Eve all that appealing anymore. I frequently see events that are going on, and think, "that would be fun", but then usually don't do anything about it. Porthos

Well, I'm looking forward to 2012 being over. I definitely had some great moments throughout the year, but overall there have been some times I'd like to put behind me. So what are your plans for New Year's Eve? Are you going out and painting the town red, dancing to a big band, clubbing with friends, going to a house party, or staying in and watching the whole thing on television? We're having some good friends come over, we'll drink some wine, eat some nibblies, and sing auld lang syne at midnight. Then we'll call 2012 a wrap! Porthos

I think walking is a greatly underrated exercise program. Most days I walk to and from work (about 2 km one way). This fall I wasn't doing it, and I can certainly feel the difference, and notice it around my waist as well. RG, I'd suggest getting a pedometer and trying the 10,000 step a day program. It really works. I'm going back on it myself, although it's definitely not a "Resolution". :icon_smile: http://www.thewalkingsite.com/10000steps.html Porthos

Gas for the car