capitalCforcougar

I do thank you, both for your honesty and for your courage in posting this.. I know from working with several people afflicted .. as well as having a family member affected/consumed by this.. it is not an easy task..... I could offer suggestions of some natural things you can implement.. but recent posts from a few individuals have produced a lot of flak for me on my inserting my professional knowledge...despite it only being ddone with good intention..(sometimes being a medical practitioner, an MP and a SP, has it's own struggles.. hehe) so.. I will save that should you decide to PM me... (and please, feel free to do so at any time), as well as a rather completely 'bizarre' incident that happened to me, when I was 14.. that I still to this day, credit with the fact that I am still here..... but.... A friend of mine last night, during my lovely drum group, shared something, that might be something to keep in your head.. especially when that 'dark' starts to creep up... In our group, we always go through the four directions, and teachings on the spirit animal there, the medicines... and relating them to 'real life' situations as best we can.... Hers was speaking about courage... and not the kind that means you get up and 'physically' fight.. but the kind that symbolizes what a lot of people may go through on a daily basis... the young mother who, despite her perhaps bleak situation, gets up every morning, deals with her children and her home the best she can (or he for that matter hehe), makes sure they are fed, clean.. drags them to daycare/school.. and heads off to school herself (whether high school or.. whatever).. deals with all the things that having a family involves.. whether tired or not.. does her homework.. and perhaps even works a job... and does it every.... single.. day..... no matter what.. because she knows she has to.....to reach whatever goal she has set..... *that* is courage..... (this is a scenario I am familiar with.. I did it, for five years...complete with doing homework in the bathroom, shower on, as it was the only time I knew I would have a bit of time where I wasn't answering the constant 'moooom' call hehe) the man who, despite hating his job.. perhaps not the best family/home scenario... (maybe has teenagers hehe *ugh!* hehe).... also.. gets up every single day..... puts up with what he has to.. takes it in stride despite the incredible desire to throttle the 'boss' who is 20 yrs his junior... again, because he knows he has to... ...the person struggling to live frugally.. wishing they could enjoy more, but having to keep a goal in mind... and having the control to get there, despite perhaps being lonely.... again, this is courage... there are tons of examples of 'every day courage'.. everywhere one looks... even in something seemingly simple and mundane... How many of the people you see in the local coffee shop, or on the bus on the way to work... are also struggling to get through their day...? The fact they are dressed.. en route.. and upright.. might also be a display of their own courage....even though nobody sees it. But the thing she said that stuck with me was that despite everything that a day may throw at you.. whether self-induced or not.. at the end of that day.. when you are laying in your bed.. brain trying to sort out all of its crap and quiet itself to allow you some measure of rest was to just remember.. you *made it through that day*.... and *that*, my friend... is also courage :)... Allow yourself to feel good about just making it through that day.. and 'perrrrhaps' the next one won't be so daunting <hugs>

...*sigh*.. laundry soap hehe

strong, fresh coffee, and a fresh-baked chocolate croissant <drooool>

- addressing emails - catching up on phone messages - deciding how much longer to put off going and doing laundry <grin> - enjoying my lovely music and the last of my coffee - arguing in my head that the sooner laundry is done, the sooner I can play with paint on my drum *sigh* .....perrrrving around this place ....stalling for time hehe

collect.. but spend... <grin>

sticks & stones may break my bones.. but bums & chains excite me ;) ....just something about 'peek-a-butts'... <grin>

It is usually (as some may know due to the sheer volume of posts I have on here.. hehe) almost impossible to render me speechless..... this.... 'crap'.. did it... so sickening to do that.. not only to the person searching for someone to enjoy time with, (and insinuating *they* are accomplices??! w..tf??!) but especially to the women who *did* suffer that horribly! if they wanted to 'help' those who need it, why do something that disgusting?? who knows what nightmares/repercussions that may have had on the men who were looking (and had, btw, done nothing 'wrong')..... jeeezus..... just sick. ....I honestly don't know the last time I was so deeply offended (another feat that is damn near impossible....)

my morning infusion of caffeine...a la stella's ;)

lol... Grrreat idea <grin>... but you're supposed to start with and/or list things with the next letter int he alphabet hehe (and I admit, I'm surpised the censor-police didn't grab that cock lol) Getting back into the glorious game.... at hand.... ;)

Herb Alpert - Spanish Flea <tee hee>

lovely hand-beaded earrings from a very talented friend and paints for my drum

back in the prrrrivate den, clothing shed... reposed on the sofa.... - addressing emails/requests - doing a grrrrreat impression of a couch potatoe, still full and sated from dinner ;) and, as usual, perrrrving this place ;)

drew out, and am ecstatically pleased with, the new face for my beautiful drum... a take on a Tribal Raven design, by yours truly.... purrrrfect! ;) painting her tomorrow! :) *she (my drum) had a lovely Celtic Tree of Life, that I had painted in the Medicine Wheel colors, but over the years of playing ....hehe looked a little 'sad' so.. redoing her has taken a lot of work and decision... decision made! :)

beer battered, homemade pickerel fillets, thick chips and MGD .....nap. ;)

...with you in the texting over calls.. definitely! as to myself, mourning the loss of summer... although winter has its'perks' <grin> mirrors on ceilings ... or walls/headboards? .....or both hehe<grin> (finishing up touches on the nuru rrrrroom hehe)

straight to jail! =P <muahahaha!> ;)

cutting through the now useless thin fabric... <grin>

and relaxes, smiling softly at exhausted bodies..... <grin> <purrrrrrr>

fulfilling fantasies and fantastical things from far into the depth of ones' inner minds .... to the fine tips of their inquisitive fingers..... ;)

humming and singing along to the incredible sounds of Annwn.. despite the fact that I have no idea what she is saying...(I believe it's German, which I do not speak.. but looooove her voice!... takes you places...) addressing emails, pondering requests <grin> and yep.. you guessed it... perrrrrving this lovely place ;)

Had fun in a local second hand shop first thing this morning ;) - food processor, long mirror (for nuru room).. an unusual find of not one, but two hoses for my Shisha pipe.. I plan on making covers for them and giving them as gifts to friends who also have these wonderful pipes :) and some more tiny lights for my back 'porch' ....coffee/ham & swiss croissant ;)

Arcana - Closure (listening right now actually hehe) (and because starting and leaving an 'a' is annoying hehe) Annwn - Douce Dame Jolie <3

generally speaking... cannot function without my music...(I have even been 'busted' for dancing at bus stops and stores when friends have seen me hehe) looooove all forms of musice, from classical, chamber, jazz, rock, punk, industrial.. Celtic.... <3 ...unless Law & Order is on <mmmn... Vincent D'onofrio......purrrr> ;) TV: sitcoms, 'reality' shows.. talk shows, crime shows?

enjoyed a leisurely morning on the way to work today... stopped in at a local second hand shop and found a BRAND NEW b&D food processor (one I was looking at, retails for over $130.00)...paid $7.00!!! Scoooooore!! ...also found another mirrow for the Nuru room...(I think it's going to be a wonderfully eclectic display of paintings and different mirrors in there eventually hehe) and enjoyed my usual fresh, wonderfully strong coffee at stellas while indulging in a still-hot-from-the-oven ham & swiss croissant...<drooool> ...and an especially sweet last minute morning visit from a friendly someone whom I haven't seen in a while..... all this, and it's just past noon... grrrreat start to my day so far! :)

Discovery - of everything imaginable;)