0000

Not sure what's been brought up so far, but i masturbate as well, normally with a Fleshlight and the Liberator Top Dog Fleshlight Mount. Might as well get some exercise while doing it and practice your stamina for actual sex. I stick to once every couple days now, used to be multiple times a day when I was hooked on porn. Taken to extremes masturbation can be unhealthy. If you go at it multiple times a day you can find yourself lacking energy, feeling depressed, losing sensitivity downstairs. Perhaps this applies mainly to men, seeing as sex drive seems to be linked to energy levels and drive in general for men. I don't know enough about the biology of women to say either way. Do you ladies feel a loss of energy after you masturbate? If so how long does it last?

It was my understanding that a client sets their limits and interests, particularly when said client is paying for their time. Recently I had an experience that I don't think I'd ever want to repeat, but I'm still emotionally conflicted/exhausted from it, and I don't want to post any bad reviews yet when I'm in this state of mind. I guess the first red flag was the lack of good reviews for this providers domination experience, plenty of good gfe reviews though, so I felt fairly confident going in. Right from the beginning I felt a lot of emotional distance between us, almost like she had better things to do than listening to my preferences and limits, and it just got worse from there. Soon enough I had to stop the roleplay after she made some derisive comments about my "capabilities as a lover". I politely explained that this falls under the category of verbal humiliation and that I was only interested in verbal domination. She seemed particularly annoyed that I had dared to stop the roleplay at all with a safe word, and then she had the gall to argue with me about the difference between verbal humiliation and domination. It doesn't matter if I'm wrong about the definitions, I clearly explained what I do and don't want, that should have been the end of it. So we keep on going with this and I was finding that I was rather enjoying her tone of command, submitting to a woman is something I had never tried before and under the right circumstances could be a lot of fun (if I could actually trust her). Eventually she starts describing her intent to perform an activity that I didn't agree to beforehand, so I politely stop the scene to explain myself. This is right about where she really takes off the mask. She told me I should just shut the "f" up and enjoy it rather than using a safe word. If I was smart I would have walked away then and there, but I wasn't thinking straight. We moved onto a different activity, which is right about the time she verbally belittled me for asking for a pillow, and verbally belittled me for my weakness/softness and previous use of the safe word. We stopped the role play soon after this. I really was hoping that she might open up at that point, like it was all an act, but she remained cold, wouldn't except my thoughts on how it went, and just continued to explain how I was wrong to think the way I do and how I "wouldn't last in a real dungeon with my "little" safe word". So I feel like this was a clearly bad experience, but it also left me with a lot of conflicted emotions. There were times that I put a lot of trust in her and was very vulnerable to her physically and emotionally during the roleplay. I can only imagine this is what stockholm syndrome feels like, conflicted emotions of love and hate, I just wish I could forget the whole thing and move on. I suppose she did at least except my safe word, and never crossed any physical boundaries, I don't know maybe I'm overreacting , I'm just really confused right now.

"Basically as the title says, what are some steps to take to guarantee an escort is not in a coercive situation and is actually independent? I can think of some precautions like post count on Lyla, has a professional website of their own, has a schedule/isn't available 24/7, is willing to talk on the phone before meeting up, drives her own vehicle or uses a professional cab/transport company, the list goes on, but how do any of us really know for sure?" There is the original post Summer, I believe it fits your criteria just fine. At least you are honest though, this isn't about the facts, this isn't about whether my personal guidelines are effective to any degree. You and a few others are simply threatened by my opinions and would prefer to attack my character rather than explaining anything at all. You've stated it all very clearly in your words above, this isn't about my opinions and whether they have any validity, this is about my education/indoctrination, so as to not effect your business on this public forum. You really have the audacity to claim that you are some sort of "expert" on preventing human trafficking? Nonsense, you don't care do you? You and many others don't care at the end of the day if a girl is there against her will. You aren't telling us clients to not take precautions because they are unreasonable, you are simply afraid you won't meet those requirements and you don't care who is hurt as long as you get to keep doing business. It doesn't surprise me anymore, modern day "feminists" are even happy to trample over the rights of other women all in the name of their personal privileges. Ironically, if many of you had perhaps taken the time to explain your views reasonably and pick apart my criteria explaining why they are incorrect, I might have taken some time to visit with you, and you wouldn't have to worry about your behavior in this thread affecting your clientele. I doubt highly that CapitalC looks any worse to potential clients, for her reasonable discussion in this thread. Nothing really behooves me at all. I enjoy the discussion on this forum, but certainly not personal attacks. I am aware of how to utilize this forum without the need for an account here, a simple technical loophole allows me to view any thread I wish without even logging in. From there I can easily find a ladies website and contact her directly, and she need not even know it was me who took part in this discussion. It really doesn't matter one way or another to me, I'll survive just fine with or without this community, as I have in the past. Additional Comments: I see now, the veil of your beautiful words is lifted and passive aggressiveness is revealed. If you aren't going to address my thoughts directly, then your words and opinions have little merit to me. I suppose if you never get involved in the discussion then you can never be wrong...right? Additional Comments: Steve, I've already explained the difference between my opinions and the facts (regardless of statistics). Your very first post was regarding how women get the short end of stick in the "patriarchy" and you don't want to "white knight". Why would your words hold any weight if you never bother to explain what the hell it is you are talking about? You couldn't be bothered to provide more detail on the "many issues facing women", so why would you get any sympathy/attention from me? Well I'm convinced, don't need any more info to go on here than Steve's words, evidently we are living in a big bad patriarchy where a women's choices are never her own? Sickening, save it for your pandering on the feminist boards, although it appears Lyla is a majority feminist board...

True enough, my only fear is that I might run into someone who is too afraid to tell me if she's in a bad situation. To each their own I guess, I don't how people deal with this without some form of cognitive dissonance, particularly if you don't take any precautions at all, as I chose not to in the past.

I think you must have worded it a bit less confrontationally than I did :p I agree completely.

Well for certain things I try to keep opinions on the side lines. Of course how much responsibility I take for which sp's I engage with, is all down to my own personal opinion and beliefs. When we start talking about women getting the short end of the stick in regards to employment, my opinions start to have far less meaning than facts and stats. I believe men and women both have difficulties in certain areas. There are more unemployed men and more homeless men. There is also an obvious wage gap between men and women. It just peeved me a bit when Fortunate decided to play that female victim card and end the discussion there, as if I wasn't already aware that there is a wage gap. The question isn't whether or not there IS a wage gap, we need to figure out exactly HOW that wage gap manifests and precisely WHY it occurs. There is every indication that female dominated careers/trades are paid less. There is even evidence to suggest that this isn't just based on choice of profession: https://www.fastcompany.com/3044753/strong-female-lead/the-other-wage-gap-why-men-in-women-dominated-industries-still-earn-more https://www.fastcompany.com/3044753/strong-female-lead/the-other-wage-gap-why-men-in-women-dominated-industries-still-earn-more So the question then becomes, why is it that pay drops when women take over a trade? Why are men still earning more than women in female dominated trades? If we are talking yearly salaries then we need to factor in hours worked, time off, job experience, and we even need to consider the possibility that men might "generally" be more career driven which may affect job performance. If we break it down to hourly earnings and still find that female dominated trades offer less pay, then we can factor out hours worked, and time off. Then we just need to work out the other factors. I'm a perfectly reasonable person who is willing to admit that the pay gap may be due to gender bias. Until I see the facts though, I will retain a certain degree of skepticism as I do regarding anything that has yet to be proven. Anyone who wants to use the pay gap to score some sympathy points had better be prepared to provide information that disproves the possibility that men might have more job experience, or that they might just be more career driven, "in general". On the topic of Birth control and abortion, there is again 2 parts. My opinion is that abortion is morally wrong, but I can't prove my opinion so it doesn't really serve a purpose in the discussion. We have decided as a society that abortion should be a choice that the woman holds, so I bow to societal preference on that topic. The facts however can not be ignored. Regardless of my opinions, the facts indicate that women have far more choice and freedoms in regards to birth control and whether or not to keep the child, either before birth has occurred, or even after birth has occurred. A women can choose to give up a child after birth and give up any responsibility to the well being of that child. In many case adoption can even be subsidized by the government. A man can not do this without a legal demand for monetary support. This is a fact, and it is the very definition of a privilege that women have and men do not. I'm not saying it's wrong for women to have that privilege, as men certainly have our own set of privileges. It is simply an explanation as to why I don't automatically jump to sympathy regarding the plight of impoverished single moms, they are usually not devoid of responsibility for their predicament. On the topic of signs to watch for when selecting sp's: I have educated myself regarding signs of abuse, enough to know that these signs are not always an obvious indicator one way or another. The phone thing was simply a way to better ensure that I am speaking with the provider directly, rather than texting/emailing with someone in the middle who may not have the best interests of the provider in mind. The problem is, I am either horny or not horny, and I can't really choose which head I am making decisions with when I'm horny. Hindsight is a nifty thing, and it is easy to berate myself into believing I could have made a better decision at the time. Foresight seems to be a much more effective option for us horny individuals though, it's always lead to a much better outcome for me :) Personally I enjoy when discussions traverse off into many different directions, as long as the original discussion is still at the base of it. I am still happy to discuss my original points even as we diverge into other topics.

Respectfully, while your words are always beautifully written, I always come away confused after reading them. Without generalizations (not the ill founded type in your link) how could we find solutions to problems effecting large groups of people? We know that the majority of sex workers are not victims of trafficking, and a John unfortunately only has the tools available to filter out some perfectly consenting adults with the victims. In other words I can't read minds/peer into a woman's soul and determine her situation, but the tools I have available to me do effectively decrease the possibility of encountering someone who doesn't want to be there, far more than "listening to your gut". Men don't "listen to their gut" when they are horny, they think with their dicks (yes this is a generalization, one that wholeheartedly applies to me :D ). I respectfully disagree that not getting involved in a discussion for fear of generalizing is a good thing, but it's certainly getting you into a lot less trouble than I'm getting into for sure ;) Of course I view this trade similarly to other trades from a big picture view. The clothing we wear, shipped in from other impoverished countries likely generates far more victims of abuse and trafficking than 1st world escorting. I can't assume myself to be above the law though, I need to assume that there is reasoning behind every law, and better understand the driving force behind it. It is a very rare case that I can completely ignore a law without occasionally reconsidering the consequences of doing so. For all I know imported clothing from 3rd world countries could become illegal in the very near future.

You've been entirely fair in this discussion, and that sincerely wasn't directed at you. It was directed at Meaghan for her snarky comment. Regardless, this has become little more than a dogpile match rather than a discussion. You can't have a discussion when 90% of the people taking part are not willing to click on a few links to get the facts, and are all too happy to provide snarky comments in lieu of facts to back their own statements. ^Again this certainly isn't directed at you CapitalC, nor others who took part in the discussion reasonably early on. This thread was probably a mistake in general, why bother empathizing with people if this is the kind of crap I'm going to get for it. Might as well go back to texting bp girls available 24/7 and skip all the games. According to one poster the signs of trafficking are always fairly obvious anyways, so surely I won't miss them when thinking with the wrong head right? It's really amazing to me that society condemns a practice by law and yet some have the audacity to suggest that johns don't have any responsibility for their involvement with the (admittedly small) % of victims. Perhaps I'll just give up on paying for "companionship" altogether, better to put the work into something real. I believe the discussion took a turn after Genevieve's sarcastic comment on page 3 (devoid of factual information), then Steve jumped in to play the (in his own words) "white knight" (again without any facts, links, or info of any kind to back his points). By the time Fortunateone jumped on the bandwagon with the same crap that I had already explained, I had thoroughly lost my patience. Fortunate then brought up the impoverished single mom argument, so I responded to it. There's the recap, just for you CapitalC ;) Perhaps I should just hold my tongue in the future, I'm starting to wonder if engaging in these "discussions" is ever worth the trouble.

^Cute You're confused , logic is based on facts. Just because you are emotionally triggered doesn't indicate what I have written isn't logical ;) Not surprising really, very few women will admit to being priveledged in certain areas of life. Even fewer will take it well, the claws always seem to come out :D

You should stop trying to twist my words, I leave them open to interpretation for a reason. I stated that construction workers pay taxes, I did not state that all sp's do not pay taxes. I do believe that a higher percentage of construction workers pay taxes than escorts/sp's, but who knows? Perhaps there is a lot of tax evasion/under the table pay in the construction work. I'm not sure where you're going with this? Do you enjoy your work? Personally I would enjoy networking with people for my career, though my field is of course different from your own. I'm sure there is some guy out there who enjoys backbreaking manual labor, but I would think they might be few and far between? 30$ an hour for manual labor is actually a bit higher up the payscale. My dad worked manual labor jobs all his life and topped out ~18$ an hour. A friend of mine is taking the same route and has been at 15$ an hour for 1 year. I was using the 30$ and hour as an example of what a man in a manual labor job could aspire to over a lengthy career, even with a low iq/lack of mental skills. You are correct, men do get hurt on the job more often than women, although escorting can be a fairly dangerous trade as well, and probably isn't factored into those statistics. I'm not sure how men getting hurt on the job is related to your opinion that men have an easier life than women though? In any case I am a perfectly reasonable/rational person. I've linked some stats to indicate that life isn't a cakewalk for men in regards to finding employment and staying off the streets. I welcome any information/facts you would like to provide in regards to inequity of pay between men and women regardless of occupational choice, hours worked, etc. I'm afraid I'm not exactly bursting with sympathy for single moms in general. I don't even know how many different forms of birth control women have access to these days, not to mention the choice to abort, and the choice to give up the baby for adoption without any repercussions. Men have condoms, that's about it, and 10% of men have reported that the condom failure rate in birth control may not necessarily be due to proper use and/or condom quality control: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reproductive_coercion They are working on bc for men but currently if you want any guarantees you need to get the snip (which I probably will in the near future). Men have 0 say in whether or not abortion happens. Once the baby is born, men can't just walk away from the responsibility in any legal way (aside from fleeing the country). It is entirely the woman's choice whether adoption happens or not, and if she keeps the baby, the man pays, simple as that. There are many men who believe they should either have a say in whether or not a child is aborted or they should be able to walk away if they are in disagreement with the mother. I'm not really sure where I stand on it, but I don't agree with abortion and I don't think there is any perfect solution for both parties involved. I honestly would prefer a solution that doesn't take away the privileged position of women in this regard just to even the playing field, better to strive for improved rights for men and women. I do think the "my body, my choice" thing has gone a bit to far. If you let a man into your body and the result is a child, that is no longer just a part of your body. The child is a creation of both individuals, and the laws should reflect that in my opinion. Anyway, don't want to go on too long with this. I'm a fact based lifeform :D If you want to convince me of something you'll need to hit be with some juicy factual information. Otherwise they are nice opinions, but opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one ;)

Yeah I get that, there certainly is that stereotype of the strong, mean dominant, and the weak/joyless submissive. I used to watch a lot of porn, something I'm still trying to get under control, and there is a particularly popular website that deals a lot with kink and bdsm. I have only ever seen one video from this website where both the dominant and the sub looked like they were having a fun time. It's something I would like to see more often because I think it portrays the bdsm culture in a much more honest and accessible way. I guess i'm just more into the physical aspect of dominance and submission and not so much the psychological side, I never did enjoy verbal humiliation for example.

Alright, I've been as patient as I can but this is getting kind of silly ;) I already gave my reasons for preferring phone conversations in one of my previous posts but that's beside the point here. Am I really coming off as so unreasonable that we have to go over the same thing again and again here? Of course I would leave a voicemail and wait a reasonable amount of time for the sp to get back to me. I'd be okay with emailing back and forth as well. I'd prefer not to have texting as my only means of contact, but again that is just my preference and it depends on how sketchy the general situation is in any case. I have already explained many times that I am not under any "automatic assumptions" that all bp girls are in a bad situation, I'm simply taking reasonable precautions wherever possible to minimize the chance of taking advantage of the small % of providers who may be in a bad situation. I don't really know how to respond to your last bit other than with a dose of reality: http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/71-222-x/2008001/sectionb/b-unemployment-chomage-eng.htm I think we've already covered the wage gap and the effect of occupational preference, hours worked, experience, etc. Of course it is less likely for women to be hired onto construction sites unless machinery can do all the heavy lifting. Availability of employment is not a gendered issue, some opportunities are more easily available to men and some are more easily available to women. I wasn't really looking for sympathy there, I was just pointing out the reality that it isn't a cakewalk for a lot of men any more than it is for many women. Many folks here have raised very valid points regarding the overhead costs of escorting that I hadn't considered. There are a lot more men on the street than women for what it's worth, where are you getting your information? If you honestly think that it would be better to work 50-60 hours per week at 30$ per hour in grueling physical labor, rather than your current occupation, then by all means go for it ;) People in construction don't normally work 40 hour weeks, it's all in or go home. I'm not saying it's not an opportunity to make good money, but that's only if you can actually survive. Most construction workers also pay taxes as well, which may even the playing field slightly. No I certainly don't deserve any sympathy, I have more money than I would ever need and excellent career opportunities in my field of choice. Look on the bright side though, I'm happy to share it with the beautiful ladies of lyla :D

Well, I'm not saying these precautions are perfect. There will be people who don't meet these guidelines that are perfectly independent. They are really just a starting point to reduce the risk. Many people have certainly pointed out that a provider could be at odds with all of those guidelines and be independent and I won't argue that. If you have an argument against these guidelines and believe they will not reduce the risk then I'm all ears, but I don't think that's the case. It's all situational really, there is a woman I've met with many times from Backpage that I would never think about cutting ties with. She doesn't meet more than 2-3 of my guidelines but she has reassured me of her autonomy during our intimate conversations. The title was certainly a little silly of me though. I was hoping for a magic bullet but guaranteeing anything in life doesn't really happen.

Hello Peachy, I somehow missed your 1st response above before I posted my own response to Steve. I hope it isn't a suggestion that I am making blanket statements, as I have worded my responses to purposefully avoid doing so. As I have said, women can certainly be firefighters as long as they meet the qualifications, and stay at home Dads are perfectly valid though perhaps not for the first year or so due to basic biological reasons that I covered in my last post. I do believe that many men have a higher sex drive yes, but I also believe that many women have a higher drive to seek emotional intimacy, and male escorts are becoming more commonplace to fill this role. This is why I have said my resentment is irrational, and can be squashed with some critical thinking. I don't think you have an accurate idea of some of the issues facing men, but I certainly can't blame you for this, as it is so rarely talked about outside of the mra community. If you have an interest in reading more about this you could have a look at the avoiceformen website/forum. Though keep in mind there are some with fairly radical ideas there just as there are some radical feminists out there. From a young age feminism has been a part of my life, hammered into my head in the modern world. It's difficult to be ignorant on the issues facing women when we hear about them every day of our lives. Of course I am well aware of the everyday issues that women face, that we don't generally need to contend with as men, and I'm right there with you in making the world a better place for women. On the topic of the wage gap you may have read about, it is really a tricky subject. If a man and a woman work the same job, and same hours, with the same experience, it would be entirely illegal to pay them differing wages, and I don't think any right minded company owner would want to deal with the $%#t storm that would arise. The wage gap becomes evident when we filter out the hours worked, career choice, and experience of men and women. There are more men working in higher paying fields like the sciences and medical fields, men tend to work longer hours and take less time off (such as maternity leave). Of course we can question why there aren't as many women working in high salary career fields, but it is certainly a difficult question and requires a much more in depth solution than simply paying women more money for the same job. I think's that's it from me for now. Again please understand that I am not trying to make blanket statements here, there is always room for exceptions to the general rule/there is always a female firefighter that is more physically fit than the average man ;) The reality is feminism has pushed for and succeeded in bringing about a separate set of requirements for women in various fields/career choices. We are also seeing programs set up, with government funding to get more women into "this or that" regardless of individual merit. The feminist movement only becomes a problem when it pushes for equality of outcome for women and men rather than equality of opportunity and human rights.

This sounds fun. I'm personally into female domination, particularly involving feet. I enjoy things like trampling, being kicked etc. Is this a common request among clients? If you did get this request how would you personally respond to it? I've met some women who are really turned off by it, because they dislike inflicting any kind of pain on others, even if the sub enjoys it :)

Of course technology narrows the gap, but it is a gradual trend, not a complete solution. Escorts with university degrees is just one example. If you would like to read more about the situation for university graduates in all areas of study, search for terms like unemployment rate, and overqualification. The unemployment rate for university grads seems like a minor issue until you factor in the number of people working unskilled jobs with technically advanced degrees. The fact is Universities do not need to answer to a job market, and they do not need to guarantee employment in your desired field. University is all to often a place for those who do not desire the burden of thinking for themselves. It wasn't always that way.

No worries mate, I'm not some sort of angry mgtow/mra neckbeard :D You're certainly welcome to your opinions on this and I'm not going to call you a "white knight" for it. I don't think there is really any difference in skill level between men and women for things like cooking and home making no. I do personally believe that women are better at caring for young children yes, though from what I have read this levels out after the first year or two of a child's life. From the info I have gathered a young child/infant who spends a certain number of hours away from the mom will experience the same symptoms as child abandonment. Women are also better equipped of course to provide the baby with the care they require (breastfeeding for example). No I don't believe that a woman's place is in the kitchen :D I believe women have gained equal opportunity as far as I'm aware and I believe that is the way it should be. Just because I believe a woman may be better at raising a child for the first year or two doesn't mean I am against freedom of choice. Of course this swings both ways. I do believe that men are better equipped (in general) to handle certain trades where physical strength/body mass is a priority. It's a biological reality that we can't ignore. If I was caught in a burning building for example, I would prefer that someone with enough physical strength to pull me out of there was coming to my rescue. Now that doesn't mean that women shouldn't be allowed to be firefighters, some women are physically more capable than the average man for sure. The issue arises when the physical requirements are lowered, or rather a separate set of physical requirements is introduced based on gender. We are seeing this in other areas as well, such as the armed forces. I don't personally believe in marriage myself, so I can't comment on it too much. Seeing as I would prefer to go with the term "life partner" and we would both keep our family names I suppose I would fall under what you are pushing for. I personally believe this falls under freedom of choice though, rather than a form of oppression. I can certainly see a few examples where equality could improve, though I wouldn't put them on the same severity level as equality issues of the past. I would also say that as we push for equality we are seeing some issues that affect men surfacing that have been somewhat ignored in the past. I do have to laugh at some issues that people are actually debating, like the right for a woman to bare her breasts in public. I just don't even see why this is an issue. If a woman wants pull her boobs out in public who exactly is she hurting? So I guess you could say my current goals trend more towards a push for better rights and freedoms for both sexes. I don't know what you would call that? Humanism? In any case I would like to hear more from you Steve. What issues in particular facing women would you like to see improved? What can we do to get there? Do you think that men are too privileged to be facing difficulties of their own in certain areas of equality? Additional Comments: Don't even get me started on university these days, that's a whole other kettle of worms ;D I think people in general are really uncertain of the future, and I believe there is a lot more "filler" courses available in university these days that don't really give people the tools to succeed in the real world. That and the world economies seem to be in decline. Back in my folks day you worked hard, got a college diploma, university degree or trade cert, and you had a reasonable chance of success, it was an investment. These days the future is so uncertain that it's more of a 50000$ gamble. There are some practical degrees that are a safe bet of course, psychology, healthcare/doctor, and a few other fields. Even if you just get a cert in one of the more stable fields, you're a lot better off than you are with many of the university degrees. For example, I'd train to become a paramedic, or a police officer, long before I'd drop the big bucks for a gender studies degree ;) Personally I have taken the route of utilizing excellent free training that is available to me (not subsidized by the government), to complete my CompTIA technology certs, A+, Network+, and Security+ will set me up for a 50000$+ a year salary in the IT field, for ~1500$ of monetary investment. If you're smart, you can still work the crumbling system to your advantage rather than checking out and binging on videogames, but you need to think outside the box these days for sure, university just isn't the guarantee that it used to be. I have seen a lot of ladies in the biz with particular university degrees. It often seems as though they realized that they could make a lot more money doing escort work than their university degree would provide, if they were even able to find work that is.

Good points Kathryn, though I've meet some girls who do little more than answer the phone (outcall only, no fancy lingerie or makeup, no website etc) and they still pull in 240 an hour+ transportation. I guess it depends on the experience men are looking for, some guys like me aren't very picky ;) What do you mean Genevieve? It seems women have pretty much gained equal opportunity. There are a few trades that women may not excel at for sure, just as there are a few that men might not excel at. I know there is the glass ceiling debate, but it seems tough to pin down whether it is due to discrimination or life choices (raising children will take years of job experience after all). There is also the suggestion of a glass floor for women (more of a safety net, indicated by the vast numbers of homeless men vs homeless women). I don't mean to complain though, I've really had quite an easy life compared to most. Like I said it is an unconcious/irrational resentment, probably based on the generalization that the majority of men desire sex more than the majority of women. Petty thoughts like that are difficult to stamp out and can breed resentment if left unchecked. Rationally there are of course certain things that women desire more than men, so there isn't really a power imbalance.

I do understand this reality, but anything I can do to potentially reduce the chances is fine with me, of course some things reduce the chances more than others, just staying off backpage for awhile is probably a good first step. Yes there are downsides to capitalism, particularly as it drifts farther and farther toward extreme segregation of the rich and poor, but that is most certainly beyond my direct control, and I do agree that sex work provides opportunity to many who would otherwise be without a livelihood in this system. To be perfectly honest I sometimes find myself tempering an unconscious resentment of women because they have this opportunity to make 100's of $ an hour that men don't really have (outside of gay escorting). It's a silly resentment considering that I am personally rather well off at the moment, but I can't help but feel sympathy for the uneducated men who are forced to resort to dangerous trades like construction work at 30$ an hour just to get by. I imagine many of those men would prefer to be escorts, but the reality is that men simply have a higher desire to seek sex than women do. I appreciate your advice Regent :)

All right fair enough, and thank you to everyone for your thoughts. I didn't mean for this to get out of hand. I just need a certain amount of reassurance to feel comfortable with meeting someone. These aren't "rules" per say, just guidelines to add to my comfort level when meeting someone new. Capital c, I'm a bit confused at your last comment? Earlier on you concede that a phone call is a more personal way to get to know someone than an email, but you think I shouldn't prefer talking on the phone over an email/text? The reality is there are many cases of confirmed trafficking in my area, the police have released a lot information surrounding this and they have provided a lot of tips to look out for on bp ads. Things like girls who work 24/7, or who only offer texting (sometimes indicating the girl is not controlling her own phone number). Of course this isn't everything, and a high class escort with a website and reviews isn't likely to be in that situation. Please understand that I'm not just talking out of my behind here, I appreciate that you are taking the time to reasonably explain your point of view on this Capital C, and I would greatly appreciate if everyone here can do the same. If you have an issue with my reasoning then please provide insight into your own reasoning, don't just dismiss me and call my thoughts nonsense. If there are other pertinent forum threads then provide some links, if you have a link to the verification process then by all means send it along. I have already stated that the phone call is just one thing that adds to my personal comfort level, not that it is a deal breaker nor should it be a hard and fast rule for everyone. Hopefully there won't be any more confusion on the topic. Best regards, and apologies for not providing a more in depth explanation of my anxiety earlier on.

I don't mean just any tattoos. Some are very well done. Crude gang signs and named however are a different story. I don't think this was the best place to get unfiltered opinions on this. Why is it escorts are never willing to say that anything is ever the client's responsibility? Is it not my responsibility to be began or ethically source meat to avoid supporting what other unintelligent, unsympathetic people are doing in regards to factory farming. I choose to live my life with the well-being of other people in mind. If someone wants to live their life entirely for themselves then so be it.

Interested to know more about the verification process here on Lyla. I didn't put a lot of faith in verification in the past but maybe there is something I missed. I'm not sure why you feel the need to take this personally Helena, I'm sure there are plenty of men who would do just the same as I did in the past and see providers without any of my criteria. I view this the same as I view any business, if a business provides a phone number and they pick up the phone then I feel better about dealing with them. As I said, the very fact you are posting actively would allay any of my concerns, although It doesn't seem like we would get along very well in any case.

1) Then she'll probably miss my call, and I'll spend my time with the other girl who does answer the phone. Unfortunate for those who have genuine reasons to not pick up the phone, but I'm more concerned about protecting those who don't have a choice in this matter than I am about protecting the income of an escort who isn't available to take my call. The answer to your second quote is the same as my answer to the above. Not trying to be confrontational here, but I am concerned with doing the right thing more than I am concerned with missing out on spending time with any one person. If you don't answer the phone the first time I'll probably try back in a few weeks anyways ;) Besides, you don't need to meet all criteria, and some are weighted more heavily than others. If you don't have a high post count on Lyla but everything else checks out then odds are I will be more than happy to meet you.

Well, some things score you more points than others ;) I'm okay with seeing a woman arrive in a public bus, it's the sketchy white vans with blacked out windows that really give me reason to worry. Your high post count and website would allay a lot of my concerns, though it would still be nice to be able to call you after initial emails/contact, it probably wouldn't disqualify you. I don't think it is always so black and white. I've just gained control of what I would call sex addiction, and I've seen some pretty sketchy things. Like a girl with a massive burn on her arm and covered in tattoos. I mean sure she is bubbly/seemingly happy and politely explains away the burn as having been inflicted due to her clumsiness, but it cast a lot of doubt in my mind. Another girl I recently spent time with seemed so incredibly reserved/quiet, she assured me it was just her personality after I asked her what was wrong, but it still casts doubt in my mind. I think it's important to put some thought into this, as I haven't in the past. If legalization/regulation were a thing here it would be so much easier, but all the while it isn't I think we have a responsibility (however small) as clients to do what we can.

I know it's kind of the elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about but i'm trying to figure out the best way to move forward in this hobby without repeating past mistakes. I've been spending far to much time on backpage and have been oblivious to the potential dangers involved in that for myself and those whom I'm spending time with. From now on I'd like to do everything possibly to be reasonably sure that the women I see have chosen this lifestyle of their own free will. Otherwise there would be no reason for me to continue, as I can't risk supporting those who might take freedoms away from people I enjoy time with and care deeply about. So if anyone has anything to ad to my list of precautions I would be happy to hear it, currently I will only see providers that meet the following requirements: Has a dedicated independent website (not an agency). Is well reviewed/popular. Answers the phone. Not available 24/7 and requires advanced booking. Ideally screens their clients first by name, and requires references (but this might be tricky for me at first as I'm unemployed and only have 1 reliable reference). Ideally has a high post count on Lyla, taking part in various discussions. No suspicious looking "drivers". Of course many will have the argument that I am being too strict, and that newbies to the provider business won't be able to see. For the most part that is unfortunately true, although I may let 1-2 requirements slide if everything else checks out. Gone are the days when I can feel okay with texting a discounted rate bp girl, with only 30 min notice. We all have a responsibility for the well being of others, even if we aren't directly responsible for the unhealthy/abusive situations of some women.