"If you expect unlisted or unsafe services, you are the problem."
Hmm. Most spas or MPs don't list HE's, let alone hand-jobs. And most don't explicitly offer them when you attend. They might tease and hint that extras are available for the asking, but usually wait for the client to ask. So, yes, by your standard, I am the problem.
But one of the things I like about MPs is the uncertainty, and the seduction dance, and it would be sad to lose that. If you can't see that, you are the problem.
Moreover, asking for a service is not coercion just because the provider fears loss of business. That's just how business is done.
Finally, your boundaries are kind of arbitrary. Most of society would consider a spa's boundary to fall short of HEs, and if you don't agree, they would consider you part of the problem.