RobertDion

then why are you asking?

c'mon man, they just want your OF money, they're not in town.

Well said, and very decent and rational.

Yes I know, I thought the issue was HER cancelling, AFTER the deposit..... pre-paying that much just to have her cancel? You don't find that conveniently unfair for the customer? That's a hell of a risk.

I'm not, definitely not my intent, I see them all the time, I agree: "Sleeping through an alarm is a shit reason but shake it off and move on" but keeping someone's money when no services were rendered, is not cool, wouldn't you agree? And thinking they "delete" your ID is kinda naive on your part. Why would they do that, they admitted to exchanging IDs among themselves in the other chat, regardless of whether the hobbyist is a red flag to them or not. All I'm saying is - I was surprised all this, so now I'm more cautious than before. THat's the purpose of these chats, information sharing. I'm not spreading anything, this is all here to read, people's testimonies. That's all. Being blindly positive and assuming the best is one way of approaching this. But it's not smart or safe.

How can there be a cancellation fee unless there's a deposit before hand? Is the hobbyist booking an appointment ahead of time, it's scheduled and then he cancels, he's expected to pay the full amount because he backed out? Sorry, then, I must have read it wrong - Never heard of that, how's a cancelation fee even possible unless you pay in advance? and the "fee" is keeping that cash once the hobbyist doesn't show... and the reversal is the SP cancels after a deposit of any kind has already been made, does she reimburse? -- never heard of that either, it would be the professional thing to do, I would think and hope that would happen. But it's rare in my experience that an SP has to cancel after a deposit is made.

I know we want to give them the benefit of the doubt, and remain positive and say that they are the vulnerable ones in these meetings. But the truth of the matter is, they hold all the power, they have us by the balls, that's how they like it, heck, that's how many of us like it. But we shouldn't act shocked when they take a deposit and cancel, the threat of us giving them bad reviews will not be stopping them.

Either way, you'd be refunded the money, or, if she's ghosting you, then she took your deposit and ran, like many do. It's the double standard discussed here many times before. They want a deposit to ensure you're serious and to make sure you don't cancel and to pay for their prep time, and to lock in your appointment. She SHOULD refund your money or re-schedule and not charge you a deposit again, obviously. But if her intent is to just collect deposits, then your sh*t out of luck.

That's the best point made so far. And how is it that crustychris has seen ALL the SPs in town?? 😅

Does no one realize that anyone could write down ANY date on a sheet of paper? Hahah, they don't have to tell the truth when writing down the date on a piece of paper to take a selfie. I see on LL every week SPs posting up photos I remember seeing from 7 years prior, with a bad editing job of a new and current date applied on the image with a 12 times superimposed 'leolist' image tag in the corner. Sooooo maybe the photos are not accurate 🙂

Yeah this whole thing is all red flags, if you text her, she'll ask for cash up front to reserve your spot cuz she's so busy, and doesn't want any time-wasters, so she wants to ensure you are serious. Then she'll take whatever you give her and then ghost you.

Don't know what you mean by true colors I simply asked some questions. Thank you all for the DMs and the insights on here. No need to try your rage baiting, I won't post up our encounter.

Not at all, I was just curious of the truth behind this whole "collecting IDs" thing, and I got the answers.

Yeah it was 2022, and no need to push your luck, you've dug yourself in this hole too much, no need for more.

I didn't question why SPs would ask for IDs until the backlash someone else got from the thought of asking an SP for her ID. I knew that wasn't a realistic ask, but the reaction people had at the thought of it made me dig deeper, I wasn't expecting all the BS, but it's understandable for being all defensive. But once I found out WHY you collect ID s and what you do with them, regardless of whether they are a negative client or not, well, let's just say I won't be handing over my ID anymore, now that I know the truth.

You already have, you're welcome for not posting a review of the experience.

haha, a story for another time.

"It's not only a power play. You are undermining and underestimating how at risk providers are. Again as stated multiple times if you don't want to do it then don't. " Um yeah, power play on their part, not ours. They admitted as much. And they claim the right to exercise this power move for their own reasons. "Having someone's ID also means if there is an issue like assault the provider has the clients real info to take to the police" Oh yeah for sure, assuming the bad guy used their own ID, which makes sense, the scumbag intending to do harm would totally use their own ID, yeah for sure. 🙂 "Now I would hope that an SP would delete your ID and not keep a record of it after you see them" Yeah, that's where some people find things to get hairy, trusting that no one else has access to this info, or access to their phone, or the agency who have all this info and can easily give it to third parties, or to their workers, and they pass it on from there. But yeah, it's a big trust thing on both sides for this to not happen when both members of this meeting had a good time, there's no reason for anyone to out the other person or profit from handing off the info to others but make no mistake they hold all the cards in that regard. "I think it's fine to ask for verification for lesser known providers who only post on LL. The providers with websites, reviews, active social media, etc you shouldn't ask because you can verify yourself through those channels. " Absolutely in agreement there.

Look up at what started this convo: Is it wrong to ask a SP for verification? The reaction from SPs taking offence to this was what raised some concerns. And apologies for dragging this out, but see how much it took to kinda get you both to see how very sus it can be to hear that 'yes, it's mostly a power play'. And saying "just accept it, this is what we have learned that needs toto get done to make this happen!" doesn't really fill us with much confidence that this process won't be used against us --not all SPs have big fancy websites and not all of us are CEOs and politicians -- whether its high class/upper class clients or down to the lower/middle class - it's an act of power and control on your part, and that's fine, but to beat around the bush and pretend it's otherwise is disingenuous.

Huh? Insulting? that's just stating facts, just look at all the ads out there, all I'm saying is 'good for her', for real, to put in that time and energy and commitment, obviously. But don't live in a bubble and think ALL SPs have done ALL the same tremendous amount of work for self-promoting -- do you not see and look at the slew of ads out there? They're not all 5-star, professional photo sessions and fancy fill-out forms. At the end of the day it's been made clear "it's none of our business what you do with our real identities and personal info, but to trust you all that it's purely for personal safety reasons" That's a more honest answer than the BS stated before, because as we proved, it made no sense, holding our info for possible ransom out of contempt for the small percentage of creeps out there that have done you wrong before -- why? because it's a nasty way for us go about this.

Good point. You're in the severe minority in that respect though, most most most SPs have not invested that much time and money.

If you want to just say "hey we want this, it gives us control, and that's just how it is, we hold the keys to the cuffs, just trust us that we'll set you free" then say it--- but don't be bullshitting around. Say it like it is.

"The specific logistics aren’t your business." Sounds like suspicious and ulterior motives there, doesn't it? And you wonder why there's paranoia as to what you're doing with our IDs, with statements like that?

"We've explained it. You won't understand. The specific logistics aren’t your business." Interesting, now we're getting somewhere, as mentioned by Manda earlier, some sort of "this is our business and our secret to keep" Hey all good to just say something like 'we have our ways, and we don't want to reveal why we do this because it does keep us safe' hahah I've given up my ID several times, but THIS answer of yours actually makes more sense, 'just accept it, this his how it is, it makes us feel safe, that's it, this is the process, there's no rhyme or reason, at least none that concern you' Well, at least that's better than no answer at all. "No. Good clients don’t feel punished, they get to spend time with us. they screen, book, and move forward. " That seems to suggest you DO reward those who accept screening without question. Don't you see how underhanded that could sound to some? So you now hold al the cards, you hold them by the balls, you can DESTROY their lives with ease now that YOU know THEIR identity, can go online and absolutely eviscerate them.... so are you saying this is a bit of a control thing, like the hobbyest is now meant to be remotely dominated and a cuck now that you hold their fate in their hands? That's the kink, even before any action happens? What's stoping any SP from asking for this info then just cancelling and just collecting a small downpayment, the person's ID that you can then find out everything about them online and use that to take advantage of them? Not saying you or anyone has or are, but just curious.... what is stopping you?

I feel like this debate is similar to this ....