what do you do when?

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31729]

What should you do when another companion obsesses over you and tries to slander you on line with lies or just trash talk?

Ignore it or deal with it but in what way

Just looking for opinions

Very much appreciated

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

Take the high road and don't mix it up with her.

[Ice4fun 78407]

NortherOntGuy's advice is probably wise but more and more I am starting to think we should be challenging the bullies who hide in the shadows and make peoples lives unbearable ... they do it because they can get away with it.

 

Just my Opinion

[spud271 47779]

Take the high road and ignore them. Karma will come around and bite them in the ass!!!

[Lexy Grace 103697]

I will choose my thoughts and words very carefully as I too can relate to this situation.

Whether it is done online and even via email or PM's, we either always see/read it or get told about what slanderous things are being written or said.

It is very hard not to respond online or contact that person. We are human and the first thing when someone attacks us is to defend ourselves.

What I have learned is you can't have a civil conversation with someone of that mentality and it's like communicating with a rock. It does make you question their motives and want to ask why but truthfully in my experience it's useless to even bother.

You have a wonderful community of friends, fellow companions who also understand and have dealt with being the target of simply put a mean spirited person.

You know who you can confide in and that you have a safe place to vent, there is no denying that these things are hurtful and upsetting.

Don't ever let someone try to break your spirit and that is what I feel the motive in my situation among other distasteful things was and currently is based on.

You are an amazing, beautiful, kind person and keep your head held high, do not give anyone that type of power over you and shake it off. Easier said, I know but this is beneath you.

The best thing you can do is ignore and contact the sites where this slander and harassment is being posted to have it removed. This is cyber bullying and a crime.

All my love!! xoxo

[johnybird 4391]

I agree with everyone here, you should be the better person.

 

Avoid reading or acknowledging any of their comments, and try not having it get to you (Easier said then done I know).

 

No point taking the bait and escalating the situation. Eventually they will come off looking unprofessional. Without a reaction it should all go away in due time, hopefully.

 

The Best course of action is if they get a lawyers letter for slander, but that may not be possible or practical all the time.

 

Regarding Ice4fun's point, I agree that we should be challenging bullies, but this type of bullying should be dealt with a bit differently... in my humble opinion.

 

 

 

 

-

[roamingguy 300292]

I would suggest you take the high road and not discuss it (ie names etc) publically on Lyla. If you see a post on Lyla use the Report Abuse icon so Mod can deal with the post

If on other boards, the site likely has a similar mechanism to report offensive posts. But giving public attention to the comments actually works counterproductively, it gives life to this person's trash talk

Now if the talk falls in the realm of libel, contact a lawyer...but again, keep it between you, the lawyer and the writer of the libelous material. If obsessive writings, as in stalking, contact the police

It can be frustrating but should be kept off the board

Good Luck

 

RG

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31729]

Thank you for all of your input on this topic I do appreciate it

This individual is not a Lyla member

This has been happening on another site

And I do agree with not entertaining the situation and just laying low on it for now

I am one for positive vibes and making positive connections and for us as women being there for each other and empowering each other especially in this industry

[Guest *t**e**x]

NortherOntGuy's advice is probably wise but more and more I am starting to think we should be challenging the bullies who hide in the shadows and make peoples lives unbearable ... they do it because they can get away with it.

 

I agree that bullies should generally be challnged but I think that in cases like these the bullies are starving for reaction. If you don't feed them they will usually just go away.

[Guest **cely***r***ne]

Positive vibes being sent to you! I empathize with you. It seems to be a popular thing at the moment :(

BIG HUGS!

 

 

Thank you for all of your input on this topic I do appreciate it

This individual is not a Lyla member

This has been happening on another site

And I do agree with not entertaining the situation and just laying low on it for now

I am one for positive vibes and making positive connections and for us as women being there for each other and empowering each other especially in this industry

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31729]

Much love thankyou darlin xo

[CristyCurves 169032]

I'm not sure posting this here is appropriate or needed. I understand needing to vent but that's what friends are for as is another area of this site. As someone who's been through it I'd say take them to court. Spend some money it does bring relief but then again those who slander move on and pretend they don't, they then give advice and garner friends, lol.

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31729]

Okay well seems I posted in the wrong category my mistake

I was simply venting and asking for advice from others that maybe have gone through this type of situation...I consider a lot of the members here on Lyla friends and I always appreciate any feedback given to me especially positive ones

I have not.mentioned any ones name nor have I slandered anyone

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Danielle,

 

Silence is golden in this case. People who live for drama need their fix. It's like a drug to them. What kills them is when you dont respond. ALWAYS starve the trolls!

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31729]

I absolutely agree and that is exactly what I have been doing and staying positive

Misery does like company and I have totally reached that point in my life where I want nothing to do with it

Just sad that we have to go through so much when all we want to do is provide some happiness into someone's life

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

I'm not sure posting this here is appropriate or needed. I understand needing to vent but that's what friends are for as is another area of this site. As someone who's been through it I'd say take them to court. Spend some money it does bring relief but then again those who slander move on and pretend they don't, they then give advice and garner friends, lol.

 

If you take the time to read Danielle's post, you will clearly see that she is looking for advice on how to handle the situation best. If you personally believe the thread doesn't belong on the board (which it does- it's not the first time someone looks for advice on different situations), you should use the report option and let the Mod deal with it.

 

What should you do when another companion obsesses over you and tries to slander you on line with lies or just trash talk?

Ignore it or deal with it but in what way

Just looking for opinions

Very much appreciated

[roamingguy 300292]

I'm not sure posting this here is appropriate or needed. I understand needing to vent but that's what friends are for as is another area of this site. As someone who's been through it I'd say take them to court. Spend some money it does bring relief but then again those who slander move on and pretend they don't, they then give advice and garner friends, lol.

 

Danielle was seeking advice on how to deal with a matter. There is a community here that can offer support and advice

She did not mention names or specifics, she did not start a fight, all she did was seek advice. And the advice, generally speaking was not to bring the dispute to the board but offered some ideas on how to deal with the matter

Just my opinion, but nothing wrong that I can see with Danielle's thread that I can see

 

RG

[CristyCurves 169032]

Danielle was seeking advice on how to deal with a matter. There is a community here that can offer support and advice

She did not mention names or specifics, she did not start a fight, all she did was seek advice. And the advice, generally speaking was not to bring the dispute to the board but offered some ideas on how to deal with the matter

Just my opinion, but nothing wrong that I can see with Danielle's thread that I can see

 

RG

 

What took you so long RG, lol. Danielle clearly admitted to venting and it is my understanding that venting or ranting isn't allowed, perhaps I'm wrong, as you and Gabrielle so eloquently represent:) However If we all were allowed to come here and vent about someone doing this or that and how to deal with it then the site would be full of that alone and aren't we all adult enough to be aware of how to deal with such childishness. Bullying often has two sides, when you don't want it you shouldn't take part in it. I gave her good advice-take him or her to court. She eludes to knowing this person, as she stated this person isn't a member. So it would be easy to do, I'm sure she has proof, after all you can't point to someone unless you do. Either that or ignore it, which is more cost effective. What other answers could be expected?

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31729]

Well clearly the only person who seems to have an issue regarding my post is you so if you feel I have in any way abused this thread then hit the abuse or take to mod

And honestly speaking you have in no way come at me in a positive way

But thanks for your advice ill defiantly take it into consideration!

Have a wonderful day Cristy

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I just recently sort of went through this myself. But I was not targeted on line. Instead, heard some far fetched claims and lies that came from someone. Thing is this person has also 2 others on their list, spreading lies about each one to who ever wants to believe them.

 

In my case, I just cut off all communications. Like Nicolette says, starve them. And if people want to listen to the lies and believe them, well sucks for them because they will miss out on knowing the truth and probably become a victim as well.

 

Cream rises to the top as they say. And they will eventually be proved wrong in their slander, if indeed you are not these things they say. Stay steadfast in your truths, and don't let others weaken your spirit. Don't read what they post, don't fight back just focus on your own day to day life. They will run themselves into the ground eventually.

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31729]

Yes indeed!

I am learning to control the urge to not respond at least in a negative way to add more fuel to the fire

It's draining and not necessary

I have so much more to focus on than that

 

 

*smile*

 

Additional Comments:

Awwwww sexy Pete always puts a smile on my face

Muahhhh xo

[EmilyRushton 253372]

Its true in any industry when you become successful you get haters. Jealousy is an awful thing and it exists quite bad in this business. As it has been said, best to ignore it, however from experience, I suggest you screen shot any and all stuff said against you, save all emails and if you need help tracking an IP, I'm an email away. As well I can put you in touch with a wonderful police officer who may be able to help you with this situation if it escalates.

 

These people need to be dealt with, but the best way is to smile and focus on your business - god knows that drives them more crazy when they can't get to you.

 

xoxo

Emily

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31729]

Thankyou so much Emily ...I will send you a pm!

[Exotic Touch Danielle 31729]

Yes I can honestly say from all this negativity I have actually gained a few New friends so I have to say some positive has come out of it

 

 

...men do not like jealous women! It is not a good look

 

If I feel some way towards someone I just will not bother with them and move past it...I would have entertained it and acted out last year but I am seriously trying to be on a different path in my life plus its draining and those types of people do not deserve my energy

[roamingguy 300292]

Yes I understand in this industry it gets very competitive and some people turn ugly

Those types of people are cowards and I am a true believer of what you put out there will eventually come back

I am staying positive and true to myself

Those whom I have spent time with know me to be a sincere and genuine person

And sending many thanks to all of those I have talked to via text/email/phone and everyone on here who has reached out to me

 

Love you all

 

Just a quick comment, not directed at you Danielle, but mentioned because you pointed it out. There may be competition in this business. But ladies

really aren't in competition with other ladies. There is someone for everyone as they say and the lady you are may attract some men, and other men may be attracted to another type of woman. And some men, due to the polyamorous nature of this lifestyle may be attracted to women in general. So all ladies just need to present themselves in a positive professional way. That way in part, they present themselves in a positive light and will continue to attract the clients that they normally would. I guess my point, awkwardly made LOL is any lady trash talking another lady isn't making herself more attractive to clients. All she does is make herself, at least to me, unattractive and someone not to see. So Danielle, keep handling yourself the way you are. The other lady is likely losing potential clients by her actions. Hope that rambling makes sense

 

But in a lighter vein, but it is often true...and kind of applies here

 

 

RG