Mental Health Awareness Week May 4-10

[Ice4fun 78407]

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week in Canada and I have come to understand as I have gotten older that Mental Health Challenges are going to impact all of us at some point in our life yet we are often unwilling to seek the help we may need.... afraid of the stigma of being seen as needing mental help.

 

A number of years ago I experienced a significant loss in my life that I still deal with every day and struggle with every day. I have started to talk more openly about my challenges but yet still have not really sought professional help in dealing with the grief I feel.

 

I have not gotten the help for a few reasons....

 

1. I truly feel that this burden I carry is rightfully mine for not doing more for the loved one I lost ... I know that is stupid but it is how I feel.

 

2. I was raised in an environment where men were the strong ones.... they provided help... they supported other in need they bottled up their feelings and looked after others.... so it is a sign of weakness to not be able to cope with what life throws your way

 

3. A lot of who you are is how you are seen in the community and in your workplace and in your social circles and while by no means a high profile person I have a very good senior' management position... I am active in my community on several charities and boards and amongst my social friends I have always been the person they come to for advice and frankly I am somewhat afraid of how all of that would change if they knew of my daily struggles.

 

So why am I even posting this... well like I said I am trying to talk more about it and strange as it seems the fact that I am just Ice4fun here makes it somewhat easier. I am also posting this because I think we all have a responsibility to look among our friends for signs that they are struggling and give them our support to seek help.

 

Of course as I know only too well it is often way easier to give advice then take it yourself.

 

I hope Mental Health Awareness week allows you to give some thought to this issue.

 

http://www.thetelegram.com/News/Local/2015-05-04/article-4134588/Mental-Health-Week-gets-underway/1

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

Thank you for this post. I'm sure most if not all of us have someone who has mental health problems or even suffer from it themselves. Mental Health Awareness is a lot more important that many imagine, I recently opened a group to discuss topics about it or simply find support.

 

If anyone wants to join it send me a request. If someone here needs the support but doesn't want to post in the group feel free to PM me and I'll post on your behalf.

[drlove 37204]

This is a very important topic and worthy of much discussion, especially due to the pervasive stigma surrounding the mentally ill in society today. As I later found out, two of my ex-girlfriends were afflicted with disorders which affected their day to day functioning and ultimately our relationship. It was sad, and still causes me a lot of grief. Both those ladies are wonderful people, yet are faced with uphill struggles on a daily basis through no fault of their own. After all, no one asks to have a mental illness...

[Fresh start 17467]

 

2. I was raised in an environment where men were the strong ones.... they provided help... they supported other in need they bottled up their feelings and looked after others.... so it is a sign of weakness to not be able to cope with what life throws your way

 

 

I use to think and be the exact same way. Keeping everything bottled up and taking care of others first instead of grieving myself. One day it became too much and the wall I build holding all those emotions came crashing down. I have not been the same since. I now feel every emotion, so much stronger and way more intense, it's not something I recommend. Now instead of me controlling my emotions, my emotions often control me and coping can be very difficult at times.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

Here's the link of a story I just came across. It's sad but at the same time beautiful and I think explains the struggle of mental disorders very well.

[Ice4fun 78407]

Here's the link of a story I just came across. It's sad but at the same time beautiful and I think explains the struggle of mental disorders very well.

 

Thanks Isabella for sharing that link...

[CristyCurves 169032]

Indeed this is a topic that is important. My dearest friend has suffered many years through different diagnosis, medications and doctors. I also had a dear uncle who has now passed who suffered with Alzheimer disease . The medical system is brutal to those with conditions. She isn't wealthy and has been treated, in my opinion, horribly. I've seen her change from a bright and contributing human being to a paranoid and angry person and needing support. For friends and loved ones of those with illnesses it certainly can be a challenge and sometimes one to great to bear. Some of the medications they give them can cause so many other issues, weight gain, the most minor, bladder problems, skin issues, severe mood swings etc, are just a few. I am empathetic and sympathetic to all who live with, are friends with or related to anyone with a mental disorder. There is no greater struggle.

[Guest S****r]

This story caught me too, a week or two ago and I printed it out to have in my collection. I have a family member with mental illness too, and the article was a reminder to me to never take any apparent gains for granted because things can fall apart for him in a heartbeat.

 

Life and stability are ever tenuous with someone with mental illness, so it has taught me to appreciate every day that does not have a crisis. I now say that a day without a crisis is not just a good day, but an absolutely GREAT day.

 

Living with someone with mental illness changes you, the family member, too. I see that with not only myself, but with my daughters, too. Over time though, I have come to see that it is a change for the better-- they and I are more sympathetic, compassionate, patient, kind and empathic than we ever would have been without this life experience.

 

I used to agnoize over the inability to make life "normal" for him until a counsellour I was seeing said to me that we are each here on a journey to learn and experience certain things, and that his journey is to learn things through his illness what he couldn't learn otherwise, as is mine by living with him. My role is to love, support, and befriend him soul to soul thoughout this life and not to "normalize" him. I haven't explained it very well here, unlike her, but this shift in perspective for me has helped me greatly.

 

And so......life goes on.

Namaste

 

Here's the link of a story I just came across. It's sad but at the same time beautiful and I think explains the struggle of mental disorders very well.

[CasinoMing 1967]

As a society, we'd like to think we have advanced and matured over the centuries. Indeed, we have technology.. technology that makes better things.. but are things really better in the end?

 

Mental illness is still an illneess that doesn't get sufficient priority or recognition. We have Bell's Let's Talk Day (God bless Clara Hughes!), we have Daniel Alfredsson endorsing and supporting the Royal Ottawa. But so much more needs to be done.. at a grassroots level, by ordinary citizens like us.

 

We have high-profile sufferers like Robin Williams. We have too many stories of our soldiers returning home with various forms of PTSD and high rates of suicide. We have stories of first-responders who succome to the grind of their daily work. We have folks from all walks of life who are suffering. Rare are stories where folks saught help and were helped in a timely manner.

 

So I guess one question I do have... how do we ('we' as in society) push this ahead? If someone breaks a bone, they go to the hospital and get a cast, and people are more than happy to sign the cast. If someone needs surgery, it's normal, it's done, no questions, no stigma, no "shame", and people visit the hospital with flowers, cards and homebaked goodies.

 

Everyone has challenges and personal demons to deal with. We are taught from an early age to be independent, not to rely on others, be strong, do not show weakness. Well, mental illness is NOT a weakness, just as other maladies that affect our bodies are not weaknesses.

 

The suffering in silence needs to end. Society needs to recognize, unconditionally, that mental illness is real and that too many of us cannot get the help we need. Whether an illness involves flesh and bone, or grey matter, it should be considered an illness, and be treated as such.

 

CM

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

@CasinoMIng while I totally understand your points I assume (and hope) they're from an outsider meaning you don't have someone too close to you with this kind of illness ,from my perspective (an insider) it all boils down to one word which is actually in the title of this thread: Awareness, from both society and the person with the illness. It is true that in general these illnesses are not always given the importance that is needed in order to fight them but to use the same analogy you used, if someone who needs surgery refuses to get it done and instead leave with that problem then there's nothing anyone else can do.

 

As a relative of someone who has a mental illness and whose direct family have dedicated their lives to try to help him and even suffer from aggression (physical and mental) I can tell you that is not always society's fault or lack of interest and in this case like many others is not friends or family who are ashamed but the person with the illness who asks them to keep it private and yes, this maybe because others have treated them poorly but just thought I'd point that out.

 

I've also met the other side of the coin, people who are screaming for help but whose friends and family just don't see the extent of the problem/situation so the information and sources are out there, oh and yes, I've also seen those who don't even accept they have an issue (we all do) so IMO the real problem is lack of awareness/acceptance which is ignorance but that doesn't mean there's no sources just like the ones for a patient with a broken leg or in need for surgery.

And speaking of sources, here's a Facebook group where they constantly post articles and useful information.

[Ice4fun 78407]

Part of the challenge with mental health is the fact that it is often seen as who the person is not something the person is dealing with... if we have a physical ailment we don't as easily get seen as the disease...

 

Not sure I am explaining that very well... I hope you get what i mean.

[oldblueeyez 15475]

Sometimes the castles we build imprison us. If you think the people in your social circles would judge you harshly then maybe it's time to make some new friends. Yet I wouldn't doubt each and every one of them has been affected by 'mental illness' in some way or another. At the very least, should you tell them, you'd find out who your true friends are, and you should consider the rest of them unworthy of your friendship.

 

I sincerely hope your loss wasn't a son or daughter; I don't have many fears in life anymore but that is my greatest one. I'd be crushed and it would take a long, long time to start feeling myself again, if ever.

 

After the end of a relationship years ago I was in a deep funk. Anti-depressants were all the rage (moreso now I guess) and my doc gave me a scrip for one. I've been on a moderate dose ever since and I've been satisfied with the results.

 

I come from a long line of hillbillies-at-heart who buck the system every chance we get and even manage to make some money while doing so. I am very far removed from prim'n'proper networking and schmoozing and I congratulate anybody who can tolerate it. But keeping up false appearances can wear upon a man's soul: the false smiles; the mindless chitchat; the absurd bragging.

 

I find that the realest, the most genuine people are the ones at the lower tiers of society.

Maybe volunteering at a place that provides meals for the homeless would help? Volunteering to work at a Salvation Army Thrift Shop? I'm thinking about volunteering at a Sally Anne Thriftshop, partly for social reasons.

 

I lost a person who was dear to me a long, long time ago. This person asked me to join in on a pubcrawl but I decined. I would never have left this person's side while partying, but others did and death was the result (this person was quite a nerd and very inexperienced in getting loaded drunk). I blamed myself for a long time, but it was not my fault. I still remember being begged to join the pubcrawl. It was a lovely and sunny Friday afternoon in downtown Halifax. At any other time I'd have been up for it, but I had a train to catch, a train back home.

 

Life is a runaway train, picking up speed as we race the rails. It can't be stopped. All we can do is switch tracks; left, right; it doesn't matter. Sooner or later we run out of track, and the length of that track is in the hands of The Layer.

[Ice4fun 78407]

Sometimes the castles we build imprison us. If you think the people in your social circles would judge you harshly then maybe it's time to make some new friends. Yet I wouldn't doubt each and every one of them has been affected by 'mental illness' in some way or another. At the very least, should you tell them, you'd find out who your true friends are, and you should consider the rest of them unworthy of your friendship.

 

I sincerely hope your loss wasn't a son or daughter; I don't have many fears in life anymore but that is my greatest one. I'd be crushed and it would take a long, long time to start feeling myself again, if ever.

 

After the end of a relationship years ago I was in a deep funk. Anti-depressants were all the rage (moreso now I guess) and my doc gave me a scrip for one. I've been on a moderate dose ever since and I've been satisfied with the results.

 

I come from a long line of hillbillies-at-heart who buck the system every chance we get and even manage to make some money while doing so. I am very far removed from prim'n'proper networking and schmoozing and I congratulate anybody who can tolerate it. But keeping up false appearances can wear upon a man's soul: the false smiles; the mindless chitchat; the absurd bragging.

 

I find that the realest, the most genuine people are the ones at the lower tiers of society.

Maybe volunteering at a place that provides meals for the homeless would help? Volunteering to work at a Salvation Army Thrift Shop? I'm thinking about volunteering at a Sally Anne Thriftshop, partly for social reasons.

 

I lost a person who was dear to me a long, long time ago. This person asked me to join in on a pubcrawl but I decined. I would never have left this person's side while partying, but others did and death was the result (this person was quite a nerd and very inexperienced in getting loaded drunk). I blamed myself for a long time, but it was not my fault. I still remember being begged to join the pubcrawl. It was a lovely and sunny Friday afternoon in downtown Halifax. At any other time I'd have been up for it, but I had a train to catch, a train back home.

 

Life is a runaway train, picking up speed as we race the rails. It can't be stopped. All we can do is switch tracks; left, right; it doesn't matter. Sooner or later we run out of track, and the length of that track is in the hands of The Layer.

 

Without a doubt there is truth in your comment that "Sometimes the castles we build imprison us" on a good day it is generally pretty easy to see that bad things happen in life and they are not your fault... on a good day it is easy to understand that you have friends and people who care about you who will stick with you even if they know your struggles... the problem is of course that all days are not good days and when you are dealing with issues that encompass you and consume your thoughts and your energy it is not so easy to just say hey accept me as i am or I will get new friends... you struggling internally just to feel normal and be accepted.

 

You are undoubtedly correct that in a perfect world those who really care for you would be there for you regardless of your mental health challenge and yeah maybe if your social circle looks at you differently then they are not really your friends but the fact is that in the real world people do treat you differently if they know you are struggling with mental health issue they may not mean to... or they may not even know they are doing it but they do and at a time when you are already feeling very vulnerable it is extremely hard to just say hey accept or not i don't care.

 

More than 5 years ago I did in fact lose a child... I held them in my arms as they took their last breath and told them they would be ok.... words that I spoke at the time in the hope of bringing comfort but words that haunt me every day since as there is no certainty of things being ok.... There are the questions of why did this happen... the question of why did I not do more to keep my child safe... There is the overwhelming feeling that it is unfair that I continue to be here while my child... A much better person than me is gone... There is the feeling that I let my child down and that now it is even more important for me to be the strong one for the rest of my family who is also struggling and who need to know things will be ok even at a time when I can't convince myself of that...

 

So I hide my pain... I deflect and seek diversions that will allow me to forget for just a short while that an important part of who I am is gone... I ensure that the rest of my family knows that we will make it through... that life goes on because they need that assurance so they can move forward... they do not need or deserve to share my pain or even to know of the daily struggle... they don't need the worry of wondering how I am doing... they just need to know I will be there for them.

 

So yep I have made the castle that imprisons me... but I am like all of the rest of us... just trying to make it through life one day at a time.

[oldblueeyez 15475]

Fuck. I am so sorry.